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Sneezy Saturday (M)


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It has been quite a sneezy Saturday today; nothing exceptional, but a good average.

Started this morning when I first went out. Just before coming into the entrance of the building where the letterboxes are, I hear a loud but very dry AKHAAHH! It turns out to be the postman – a skinny 30 year old, with almost shaved hear, probably too lightly dressed. I hesitate but do say “à vos souhaits”. He replies frostily “merci”. Obviously not pleased with having his weakness acknowledged (though I am pretty sure that this man is not very concerned with appearing masculine). We do make polite conversation, and part with a big smile on his part.

Next, passing a café with two men sitting outside having a coffee at a tiny round table: one almost doubles up, swerving in the opposite direction to his friend, with a half stifled sneeze - HAH PPTTSSCHHSHH! - big breath, then he resumed the conversation. Nice sneeze – probably would have been a pretty big one if unrestrained.

Third sneeze, coming back in the metro. A shortish man in his late 30s, perhaps 40, Buster Keaton looks… and haircut. He was standing just opposite me when I see him obviously get ready to sneeze – hand up in front of his mouth, and a gasp… but no; he lowers his hand, then raises it again… another gasp… but nothing.. then a third time, same drill, b ut he gives one gasp, then a second gasp.. then a sneeze “ uh KHuHH” – pretty dry and not much strength to it, but what a build up. I would love to see this man somewhere where he felt at ease!

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I posted this before the day was out, but there were more sneezes in store!

One as I walked by the Turkish sandwich stall at the corner of my street: one of the workers there, a short, 20ish man with black hair and surprisingly white skin – his shirt was open to the navel – and a huge nose – yelled a single unspellable sneeze - two syllables with just a bit of glottal constriction between the two – to the general indifference of the people – all men – he was with. Then a few minutes later, at a cheese shop, a young father with his daughter in a pram, just looked to one side and sneezed a polite “choo”, just as the shopkeeper was offering him some cheese to taste. Polite, but completely uncovered.

The best was over dinner. We had been invited by a colleague of mine and I was sitting next to her husband. He must be well into his 50s, but looks nothing like his age – boyish figure, floppy blond hair – not one grey! , a real Peter Pan case! I had never seen him sneeze (his wife, a good ten years younger, has a very abrupt coughlike sneeze), but it was my lucky day. At the end of the meal, I saw him bow his head and sneeze a wet atschissshh into his lap. He brought his had up towards his face but did not cup them, just deflected the spray a little. Head remained bent and he sneezed a second tsshishhh ! sneeze – a little weaker than the first. And that was it - no blow, no comment!

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Beautifully written, atchoum! Your observatins are always so lovely, thank you for sharing! :proud: Merci beaucoup! (Gee, it's been awhile, I hope I spelled that right, if not, then I apologize! :P )

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