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Trading sneezes (m, f and self)


Geist

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Okay, so Chui (who is also known as my Kata Partner) stayed the night with Mr. Aku and me last night. First off, before we went to Aikido. . . a bunch of what the HELL happened. This is long, so bear with me. It's worth it, trust me. :lol:

Chui has this horrific sinus infection at the moment and is sneezing her ass off. Well, everytime I've ever seen her sneeze, she's done this cute little stifle (and she's reading this, I KNOW....so she'll have to deal with my description and spellings...LOL!). It's rather "girly," but not in that fake, obnoxious way. The end rises in pitch quite a bit, however it's oddly fitting for her. I've always really liked it. *cough* :lmfao:

So, yesterday . . . she had to sneeze and just couldn't do it. We tried a few things to see if we could get it out of her. Chui is rather opposed to the "tissue method" or anything that involves sticking anything up her nose, so I had her sniffing organic cayenne pepper.

Now, all of us know this hardly ever works. All it does is burn. So, she put some on her finger, sniffed it . . . and nothing. By this time, we were both laughing, especially when she finally gave up and popped her finger in her mouth to lick the spice off. Yeah, that?

FATAL ERROR. :lol:

She began to cough a bit because organic cayenne is WAY hotter and more potent than the stuff you buy at most places. This continued for a minute or two until suddenly, she stopped in the middle of my kitchen and stood perfectly still, informing me that she was about to sneeze. I honestly didn't believe she was going to do that . . . until she did. SIX TIMES. :laugh:

She didn't try to stifle these, either. I've never heard her just let one out, let alone SIX in a row! Her sound is very powerful and without the stifle, her "sick" sneezes absolutely take over her body. She told me before that a "sick" sneeze would literally cause her to "sit up" if she had been lying down. I see why, now! :lol: Now, I'm going to embarrass the crap out of her (or maybe make her smile like a smug asshole) and say that her sneezes are freakin' HOT. She's got ungodly variety when she's not trying to stifle. She managed to go from a full, "hiih'ESSHU!" sound (with a very feminine, yet powerful ending) to no audible "hiih!" at all, using only the middle bit. Then she somehow cut off the very end, leaving just the forceful middle part. Rinse and repeat. :lol:

She had about a 15-20 second pause between each with that "oh crap, I'm going to sneeze AGAIN?" look never leaving her face the entire time. I admit, my brain went JFLSDKFJSDLKFJDS after about number four and I stood there gawking like a goddamned idiot because HELLO.... hot, cold-ridden black belt sneezing in my kitchen three feet from me? HELL YES, BATMAN! :lol:

So, after all THAT madness, a game of "pass the wrong" ensued between Mr. Aku, Chui and myself a while ago.

We were sitting down eating and Mr. Aku walked into the kitchen for something. As he walked towards the fridge, he sneezed loud enough to scare both of us and make me yell "STOP IT!" Mr. Aku's sneeze is hard for me to spell . . . it's like a forceful, "hp'TSCH!" sound . . . quick . . . sudden . . . and hnnngggh.... :innocent:

A few seconds after that, Chui stifled a sneeze into near silence. Mr. Aku then went down the hall and sneezed twice. Then Chui sneezed again.

I was like :lmfao: BOTH OF YOU STOP IT. :lol: I.....BRAIN?!?!?! BRAIN GOES WHERE?!?!?! :blushing:

Mr. Aku went outside and Chui sneezed YET AGAIN (the same nearly silent stifle....I have NO idea how she did that, considering the force of the ones I had seen the day before...) and I was like JFLSKDJFSDLFD at this point. Yes, JFLSDKFJSDLKFDSJ......that is the EXACT WAY I felt, goddamn it!

After I finished doing the flaily waza over all of this MADNESS, I walked into the kitchen and felt . . . you guessed it . . . a tickle. I could NOT believe it. So, I stood in the middle of the kitchen and eyeballed the light overhead to coax it out. Mine was a very sharp sound, sort of a "huh'CHSSHT!" Quick, to the point, no muss, no fuss. :blushing:

I stood there gaping like an idiot and then I began to laugh. And Chui laughed. And I just couldn't THINK, okay?!!?!?

RARRR, what the HELL was all that?? It's like Fetishpalooza over here or some such crack! :lol:

~Aku

*Edited because BRAIN NO WORKY! Spelling go BYE-BYE! :lol:

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I wanna go to Aku's house :blushing:

Can we drag you to Judo? I mean, I know how much you'd HATE two sexy girls and a really sexy guy holding you down . . . and possibly sneezing on you. :innocent:

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Wow! Congratulations to you all, best of all, I must say, to Chui. Quite a debut on the forum! Lovely when they just come out like that.

Brilliantly described, Tenshi; and your own sneeze sounds excelent, and well-timed.

Good thing the pepper was organic, really.

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well know, we all know i MUST reply to this...we couldnt go without a little added spice....not that i didnt get enough last night....i mean whoops...where did that come from.... LA LA LA....

so yes, i have the fracking plague!!! its EVIL... i hate to admit this, but lately i've been down to just one or two wrongs per day, and it was kinda sad. i really would want to and need to sneeze, but they just wouldnt come. and so, last night, Aku and i began discussing methods of inducing. and i have too much of a snotphob to be able to stick anything up my schnoz...just aint happenin! i cant do it....so we came upon the cayanne pepper...and lo and behold, even it didnt work. nothing would make the little futters come out. as i was just about to give up, i got the bright idea of the millenia to lick that pepper off my finger...and oh yeah...began to drop little bits of lung all over her floor. and the rest is history...like literally...ive never wronged that many times before in my life!!! esp. without a stifle. although i was higly amused that i had to hold on to the counter to keep from wronging myself onto the floor.

Aku better watch that cayenne...it might come live with me....

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You're an evil bastard. EVIL, I SAY. Hmmm, I wonder if you could use that impressive wrongness of yours as an escape to one of my pins in our kata. You think Sensei would approve?

"What escape is THAT?"

"Oh, Kushami Waza."

*SNERK*

*puts Judo nerd away*

Your sneezes were amazingly pants-flaming hot pretty powerful. I didn't realize you had grabbed the counter, though. Guess I was too busy gawking and involuntarily blessing you in that incredulous tone that I HATE like I had seen Sephirosu a god being wrong or something . . .:heart:

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:heart:

why whatever do you mean? im not evil....im a perfect angel.....

*bats eyelashes*

you know, the next time you go to strike me overhanded for goshin jitsu...(self defense...where Aku gets to try and beat the crap out of me, and i beat the crap out of Aku)...i'm gonna wrong as your hand is coming down.

*polishes halo*

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Oh, do you promise? :heart: Remember, pouncing on you and knocking you off the mat is not part of the kata, but it CAN be arranged.....

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oh..it might can be arranged...but just remember, if you take me to the ground, you enter my realm. *skies darken ominously*

oh sorry!

*puts away world domination mentality*

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Oh, but you are in MY domain right now, my darling. :heart: It is only here that my particular "shodan" is valid. Tch, more like Sandan by now . . . maybe higher! :drool:

OKAY, we will now STOP threadjacking our own thread, YES.

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Can I just say how I love the phenomenom where everyone takes turns sneezing at certain points? It's like, a chorus of sneezing or something. Very cool! Okay, now it's your turn!!! :heart:

Awesome obs! And it's cool that chui can post and be a part of this. He he he! Thanks for sharing guys!

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Can I come over? Please?...Please? lol cause that was simply amazing...god....I....yes, BRAIN NO WORKY!!!

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of course, Aku is right, the threadjacking must stop...but not until I've had the last word....

cant wait to go back to Aku's though...there is something about that place that just instigates the sneezy waza!!! and its not just the pepper....

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While there are other times where I would willingly submit to your command, this is not one of them, my dearest friend and partner in many crimes.

You know, you aren't the first person to say this about my home. I do believe it is the amount of . . . hay fever . . . inducing things that grow in the woods. Not to mention, my absolute loathing of the task of actually dusting anything in the house. That could have something to do with it as well.

And yes, do come back soon. Perhaps I shall cook something . . . wicked. :wheels:

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And i MISSED THIS HOW>???? :drool:

Jeezuz, what i wouldn't give to be there dude! i would've paid you in drownings of wrong art to be there! :yuck:

Holy crap soo hoott...gurgleblobsplack (yeah try say THAT 3 times in a row :drool: )

Gorgeous, solid GOLD obs Aku, and THANKYOU chui for sneezing...if that makes sense[?] :blushing:

MMnngh...you are SO lucky you sneeze fetish pair... :lol:

EDIT:

Just reading you and chui's posts ALL THE WAY DOWN the page on the first page: :drool:

I dont know WHAT you're talking about but general craziness is universal :blushing:

Woo! i did little kiddie aikido when i was little..... WHITE BELT!! ooh boy! *flexes nothingness* meh, i quit to go swing myself from bar to bar in gymnastics...then i quit that for hockey... and this sentence is going noowwhheere...

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And i MISSED THIS HOW>???? :D

Jeezuz, what i wouldn't give to be there dude! i would've paid you in drownings of wrong art to be there! :twisted:

Holy crap soo hoott...gurgleblobsplack (yeah try say THAT 3 times in a row :rolleyes: )

Gorgeous, solid GOLD obs Aku, and THANKYOU chui for sneezing...if that makes sense[?] :hug:

MMnngh...you are SO lucky you sneeze fetish pair... :innocent:

EDIT:

Just reading you and chui's posts ALL THE WAY DOWN the page on the first page: :rolleyes:

I dont know WHAT you're talking about but general craziness is universal :innocent:

Woo! i did little kiddie aikido when i was little..... WHITE BELT!! ooh boy! *flexes nothingness* meh, i quit to go swing myself from bar to bar in gymnastics...then i quit that for hockey... and this sentence is going noowwhheere...

your welcome...lol....

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Whoa, I didn't know they even LET little kids do Aikido because of all the joint locking and such! Then again, they do have like...923847 forms of it, so I suppose anything is possible! :innocent:

Hehehe, and I'm glad we amuse you. Hurr, retardation is TEH FUNZ! :twisted:

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