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My second story


Secret98

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Ok my first story was a Gaara sneeze fic, and this is the second. A to be continued of the last story. I'm in it again as Gaara's dream girl. I hope yous like this one too...

(other Gaara lovers: if it upsets you that I put myself as Gaara's dream girl, try daydreaming that your his dream girl in this story instead of me, it helps)

A couple of days have past, and Sara hasn't seen or heard from Gaara. As she sits on her bed in her room she reads a book. Sara's room is small. It has dark wooden walls and a wooden floor. Her bed is across from the door, up against the wall, facing her window. Next to the bed is a wooden night stand, with her alarm clock on it. She could sit in her window, which she usually does. There is a blue blanket folded up neatly in her window. On the left of her window is her closet, which she usually keeps the closet door shut.

Sara was in her PJs. Dark blue shorts with a white tank-top. Her hair is up in a ponytail. As she layed on her bed reading, she could hear her dad talking whith her bother, Eddie. Eddie is a little taller than Sara, with very short, curly, dark brown hair. He has a round face and is a little muscular. He was wearing black, baggy, pants and a plain red t-shirt. They were talking about going out to the bar and getting wasted.

As they left the phone rang. Eddie and Sara's dad were to busy thinking about beer to get it. Sara had the phone in her room anyways, on her bed with her. As she goes to pick up the phone, Gaara found her house and decided to go in.

Gaara was just getting over his cold. He quietly walked through the living room, up the stairs, and went to Sara's bed room door. He looked in. Sara turned her head to the door, but there was no one there. Gaara had some how gotten into Sara's closet, without her seeing. He was listening in, on what Sara was saying.

"hello, Ino," Sara said with a smile on her face. Gaara could only hear what Sara was saying, but that didn't stop him from listening in.

Ino replied, "Hey, Sara. I was in the hospital yesterday, and Sasuke was gone!"

"Where do you think he could have gone?" said Sara, not really worried at all about Sasuke.

"I don't know. Me and Sakura were going to his room and we were going to give him some flowers, when we got there he was just gone." Ino said in a worried way. "Sara?" Ino asked.

"Yeah?" Sara asked in return.

"Do you think Sasuke will be ok?"

"I think he'll be fine. You know how Sasuke can be, Ino. I'm sure he's fine.... you brought him flowers?" Sara said.

"Yeah, me and Sakura both brought him flowers, why?" Ino asked in a curious way.

"Ok, Ino I'm going to tell you something but you have to promise to keep it a secret." Sara said in a nervous way.

"I promise." Ino responded.

"Ok, I have a fetish..." Sara gulped, "...and promise me that if I tell you what it is you won't look at me funny when you do it, or if someone else does it."

Gaara was getting very curious. He wanted to know what Sara's fetish was. He started to listen very closely, so he woudn't miss it.

"I pormise I won't. Now what's your fetish!?" Ino asked in a way that said she really wanted to know.

"Ok, I'll tell you. Please don't laugh. Ok, it's," Sara swallowed hard, "sneezing."

"Sneezing? That's it. Your fetish is sneezing? Wow, that's neat."

Gaara couldn't figure it out. Sara has a sneezing fetish. "Every time I sneezed she would start to shake. Is my sneezing scary to her?" Gaara thought to himself. Then he remembered that time she smiled at him after he sneezed on her. "Maybe she likes my sneezes.." Gaara hoped. But it still bothered him that she would shake when he sneezes. He couldn't figure it out.

"Ino, do NOT tell anyone. I have had this fetish my whole life." Sara said.

"Relax, Sara. You know you can trust me. So when a hot guy sneezes how do you respond?" Ino asked wondering if Sara liked Sasuke's sneezes.

"Well, when I really like a sneeze I will actually start to shake..." Gaara liffted his head a little.

Then he thought to himself, "So she really liked my sneezes, and that is why she woud shake when I sneezed. She wasn't scared she was enjoying my sneezes." That made Gaara feel a little happy.

"....and I also get really shy, and sometimes avoid looking at a person if I enjoyed their sneeze. I wil also some times try to avoid looking at someone if I know that they are going to sneeze," Sara finished saying.

"So do you like Sasuke's sneezes?" Ino asked feeling a little jelous if she were to say yes.

"Ino, I do like Sasuke's sneezes. Don't be jelous I don't like Sasuke and you know that."

Gaara started to feel jelous. He was wondering if Sara enjoyed his sneezes or Sasuke's sneezes more.

"Ino, I have to let you go so I can go to sleep. Ok?" Sara said.

"Sure. Good bye" Ino said.

"Good bye."

Sara said that and went out side her room to hang up the phone. When she came back in she flipped the light switch off and went to her bed. She lifted up the covers, and got in her bed. She rolled over to wall, on her stomach and closed her eyes. Suddenly she heard a very loud, " Haa..knnttt....CHOO!" coming from her closet.

Gaara got a little nervous. He tried to stop his sneeze so she wouldn't know he was spying on her, but the power of his sneeze was nearly impossible to stop. Sara got up and walked over to her closet. She opened the door, but there was no one there. Sara had remembered the sneeze, and knew it was Gaara. So she started to shake. Sara got very paranoid. She was hoping he wasn't there long enough to hear what she was talking aout with Ino. She figured he wasn't. So she went back to bed and fell a sleep.

The next day she got up and got dressed. She went outside and went for a walk. She passed the park where she remembered how Gaara had sneezed there a couple of days ago. She looked up ahead, and saw someone leaing against a tree on the left of the path she was walking on. As she got closer she coud see that it was Gaara. Sara swallowed hard, and started to blush. She walked up to him and said, "Hey, Gaara."

"Hey, Sara," he said in return. Gaara watched as Sara walked over to his left and started to lean up against the tree with him. She was about one inch away from him. He didn't forget about Sara's fetish. Gaara had put some thought into making himself sneeze. He knew exactly what to do. Gaara decided to use his sand from his gourd to make himself sneeze. Sara couldn't see but Gaara was taking sand from his gourd, uisng his jutsus, and put the sand right up his nsose. Gaara started to feel a very intense tickle in his nose. He started to sniff and then eyed Sara. Sara couldn't see that he had to sneeze so she didn't turn her head this time. Gaara quickly tilted his head back, with his mouth open slightly, he did a little build up, "ha...haa....," then was thrown forward right into Sara, "HACHOO!" He got some of his spray on her, which was not intended.

"Sorry," Gaara said, hoping she didn't mind. Sara was in shock. She started to shake, and was left speachless. She smiled and blushed. Gaara got a sneezy look on his face, he snarled up his nose, opened his mouth slightly, and had his eyes slighty closed. He didn't want to sneeze on her again, so he turned to the side, " HACHOO!" into his right hand. Then he sneezed again, this time with more force, "HAAATCHOOOO!!" Very loud into his right hand again, he went down farther than the last sneeze.

"Are you ok, Gaara?" Sara asked with concern.

Gaara tried to respond, but was cut off by anothe sneeze, "Yes, I'm-ah- f-ah- I- EEEchOOO!" then he sniffed and repeated, "Yes, I'm fine." He saw Sara shake.

"Um...bless you, Gaara," Sara said in a quiet voice, as she tried not to smile. Gaara noticed she was trying not to smile.

"She must be embarressed," Gaara thought. He felt happy to see her shake, because now he knows that it means she enjoys his sneezing. Gaara put more sand in his nose. He started to feel another intense tickle in his nose, but he couldn't sneeze. He tried putting more sand up his nose, it only made the tickle stronger but he still couldn't sneeze.

"I feel another sneeze, but I it won't come out," Gaara said, as he sniffed again hoping it would help his sneeze come out, but it didn't.

Starting to turn more red, Sara said, "Maybe I could help you get that sneeze out." She started to feel extra nervous.

"Ok," Gaara replied, wondering what she could do to help him get his sneeze out.

"Maybe I could play with your nose or something..." Sara said in a very shy manner. Gaara agreed to let Sara play with his nose by nodding. Sara took her left hand to Gaara's nose and started to rub his nose in a circle. Then she placed her index finger on the tip of his nose rubbing it very softly. Well that was all Gaara's nose needed to get that sneeze out. Gaara took his right hand and moved Sara's hand away from his nose. He had his mouth open, and his breath had started to hitch. He kept his hand up near his face to cover his nose and mouth. His head tilted back slightly, and he turned his body to the right, "AAEESHOOO!" His sneeze threw him the way he had decided to lean.

"Thanks," Gaara said to Sara.

"Your welcome," Sara said trying not to smile, and her face turned red. "I have to go train for the final part of the chunin exams."

"Ok, bye Sara," Gaara said in almost a sad way.

"Bye," Sara responded as she walked away shaking.

to be continued...

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This is coming along very nicely. The nose tickling is very exciting. I suppose if Sara doesn't mind shaking, there's no reason why she shouldn't.

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This is coming along very nicely. The nose tickling is very exciting. I suppose if Sara doesn't mind shaking, there's no reason why she shouldn't.

When a guy I have feelings for sneezes I always shake, which is why Sara (me) always shakes when Gaara sneezes. I'm really embarressed by this, but I have a crush on Gaara from the show Naruto. I'm 19 years old and still fall for cartoon characters. I wish I could just fall for someone who is real. It is actually depressing me :laugh:

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This is coming along very nicely. The nose tickling is very exciting. I suppose if Sara doesn't mind shaking, there's no reason why she shouldn't.

When a guy I have feelings for sneezes I always shake, which is why Sara (me) always shakes when Gaara sneezes. I'm really embarressed by this, but I have a crush on Gaara from the show Naruto. I'm 19 years old and still fall for cartoon characters. I wish I could just fall for someone who is real. It is actually depressing me :P

Hey, we're a LOT of people who fall for anime characters :hug: You're not alone, you know. I, for example, have a major crush on the silverhaired priest/kiss-ass vampire in my avatar :laugh:

You'r story is truly adorable, Sara! I think it's cool you write youself as one of the characters ;)

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TOTALLY CUTE!!! ;):hug::laugh: Hehehe, the shaking did make me giggle, too. :P

You know what? If you want to write yourself into a story, THAT IS FINE. It's fiction, it's your fantasy and if other people don't like it, they don't have to read it. I swear, the whole "Mary Sue" thing that some people have to bitch about is aggravating. I used to feel similary to them regarding that type of fiction, but then I grew a brain and realized how STUPID it was to care.

Tch, I might just write myself as Seph's dreamgirl if I feel like it. I'm just as arrogant and pretentious as he is. CLEARLY, it would be love. :innocent:

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;) oh my, this was sooo adorable!! i get the giddy-giggles reading about Gaara inducing himself... *YAY* nice descriptions on the pitching forward.... :P

and pshaw! who says you cant have crushes on cartoon characters...Cloud's my imaginary boyfriend, and i dont want to date any guy who isnt as awesome as he is!! dude....im 24, i teach college anatomy, and am working on my master's degree...and i am NOT giving up Cloud for anything right now, i dont care if it seems "odd"... :laugh:

seriously, cant wait for the next part......

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You know what? If you want to write yourself into a story, THAT IS FINE. It's fiction, it's your fantasy and if other people don't like it, they don't have to read it. I swear, the whole "Mary Sue" thing that some people have to bitch about is aggravating. I used to feel similary to them regarding that type of fiction, but then I grew a brain and realized how STUPID it was to care.

Gonna have to disagree with you there, Akutenshi. As a regular fanfiction author myself, I can tell you there's a very big difference between writing yourself into a fandom and writing yourself as a "Mary Sue." In the fanfic world, the term "Mary Sue" is used to describe an original character who is perfect in every way--if we're talking about a female character, we're talking incredibly beautiful, possessing powers that even the canon characters at their full strength don't have, and able to make the main male character fall for her in nothing flat. Usually these characters are incredibly unrealistic, and it shows. Many fics are destroyed by them.

Sara here is definitely not a Mary Sue, though, so no worries. ;) Personally I'm not a fan of selfinsert fics at all, but hey, like you said, it's your fantasy and if other people don't like it they can go fuck off.

But Sara? If you continue writing, please don't turn yourself into a Mary Sue. Otherwise I'll have to kill you. :P

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You know what? If you want to write yourself into a story, THAT IS FINE. It's fiction, it's your fantasy and if other people don't like it, they don't have to read it. I swear, the whole "Mary Sue" thing that some people have to bitch about is aggravating. I used to feel similary to them regarding that type of fiction, but then I grew a brain and realized how STUPID it was to care.

Gonna have to disagree with you there, Akutenshi. As a regular fanfiction author myself, I can tell you there's a very big difference between writing yourself into a fandom and writing yourself as a "Mary Sue." In the fanfic world, the term "Mary Sue" is used to describe an original character who is perfect in every way--if we're talking about a female character, we're talking incredibly beautiful, possessing powers that even the canon characters at their full strength don't have, and able to make the main male character fall for her in nothing flat. Usually these characters are incredibly unrealistic, and it shows. Many fics are destroyed by them.

Sara here is definitely not a Mary Sue, though, so no worries. :lol: Personally I'm not a fan of selfinsert fics at all, but hey, like you said, it's your fantasy and if other people don't like it they can go fuck off.

But Sara? If you continue writing, please don't turn yourself into a Mary Sue. Otherwise I'll have to kill you. :innocent:

No worries :nohappy: I'm not going to turn myself into a "Mary Sue" Boy, it would be nice to be perfect because then my dad would except me, and stop acting like a perfectionist :blushing:

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You know what? If you want to write yourself into a story, THAT IS FINE. It's fiction, it's your fantasy and if other people don't like it, they don't have to read it. I swear, the whole "Mary Sue" thing that some people have to bitch about is aggravating. I used to feel similary to them regarding that type of fiction, but then I grew a brain and realized how STUPID it was to care.

Gonna have to disagree with you there, Akutenshi. As a regular fanfiction author myself, I can tell you there's a very big difference between writing yourself into a fandom and writing yourself as a "Mary Sue." In the fanfic world, the term "Mary Sue" is used to describe an original character who is perfect in every way--if we're talking about a female character, we're talking incredibly beautiful, possessing powers that even the canon characters at their full strength don't have, and able to make the main male character fall for her in nothing flat. Usually these characters are incredibly unrealistic, and it shows. Many fics are destroyed by them.

Sara here is definitely not a Mary Sue, though, so no worries. :innocent: Personally I'm not a fan of selfinsert fics at all, but hey, like you said, it's your fantasy and if other people don't like it they can go fuck off.

But Sara? If you continue writing, please don't turn yourself into a Mary Sue. Otherwise I'll have to kill you. :blushing:

*TANGENT*

No, you're wrong. There's a very, VERY broad definition of what a "Mary Sue" is and what you mentioned is a common one, yes. In fact, you can read a very thorough definition written by fans themselves right here. Under the different styles and types of Sues, it lists this:

Self-Insert

Self-insert is used to describe clear (and usually seen as indisputable) cases where the author has directly inserted a version of themselves into the story in lieu of a wholly original character, generally going so far as to use the same name or pseudonym for character and author. Though some author surrogates have sometimes been thought to "work" in fiction, self-inserts, as a rule, are frequently seen as the most blatant form of Mary Sue-ness, most particularly in fan fiction, where self-inserts are generally heavily idealized. Some online fan fiction archives have a ban on any story which involves self-insertion, especially sites which disallow any fan fiction involving a "real person", such as FanFiction.net.

THAT is why I said that I have a problem with people who bitch about "self-insertion" and call it a "Mary Sue." If a writer wants to write themselves into a fic? HAVE AT IT. If it's done well like Sara here did, WHO CARES?? What I said was sort of my subtle warning to anyone on this board who felt the need to "say something" about Mary Sues to put Sara down because it's happened with this kind of fic before and I won't tolerate it.

Now, if you wish to debate with me further on what a Mary Sue may or may not be, we can start a thread for it somewhere else. It was not my intent to start a debate within this post for Sara's fic and is very rude to continue otherwise. It was merely a warning to those who might want to start something. :lol:

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Guest Kunai

erm.. I'm not gonna get in on the mary-sue or self insertion debate here >>;...

but as for anime crushes *points at avatar and swoons*... lawl!

great story, Sara ;P... hope to see more :drool:

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