Telling Her

[Thorne]

Okay, so what it comes down to is... I've been with my girlfriend Angie for three years now, two of which we have been living together. We were good friends before we started dating and anyway, what I'm trying to get at is the relationship is serious... So, recently, I've been thinking about proposing, but first I don't want to have any secrets from her, because I know she doesn't keep anything from me. Getting to the point, I feel like it's time to tell her about the fetish. How should I do this? Should I even do it? Any suggestions? Help a guy out ... lol

[Ella]

Well, although my experience is limited, the few people I've told were all very understanding, half were even willing to indulge. When I admited my fetish, I always made it out to be a bigger deal than it actually was. Usually we were already on the subject of turn-ons, and I would beat around the bush a lot. I'd say that I didn't share this often because I was afraid of what their reaction might be. The way I would go about it is, before telling them what exactly it is, I say that its not anything dangerous or bizarre, it's just different. That way, anything they've cooked up in their head is usually far worse than what I admit to.

So far, I've never regretted telling the people I shared with. Good luck.

[r]

My wife had the same general reaction as described above. i had made a big deal about it and she thought it had to be something much worse than a sneeze fetish. She practically laughed in relief when i rtold her and indulgences me regularly. She parrticulaly likes the fact she has such control over something that is such a powerful turn-on for me (since she is naturally sneezy and also knows what inducers can make her sneeze easily).

We just did the...no secretes, and what are the turn-ons thing as well.

From what is described, I suspect if you don't tell her soon you probably will never feel you can.

r.

[Thorne]

thanks a lot for the replies... they really helped a lot.

[The Dude]

You should DEFINITELY tell her. Think about it... would you rather risk a few moments of awkwardness/embarrassment, or be stuck in a marriage with someone you're sexually incompatible with? To me there's absolutely no question about it. Better to find out sooner than later.

Good luck, man!

[Sneesee]

Well, I won't go into a whole lot of detail about how I finally told my husband, but I will always be glad I did. He's not into indulging me, per say, but I'm really glad it's something I don't have to hide. If I had to hide this forum, and the people I've met, and the fact that I'm a moderator, I'd really feel guilty about it. And pretty much anyone I've ever told, has had the same reaction to it, which is that it's a very innocent fetish. Unique and unusual, yes, but certainly nothing outrageous.

I hope the talk goes well. And I do believe that if you are taking your relationship to the next level, telling her is only natural. You may end up getting her to indulge you, or maybe not, but at least you'll know where she stands.

Best of luck! If you ever need to talk to any of us who have told our SO's about this, drop us a line or something, okay?

[Thorne]

thanks a lot for the support.

[beautifuldreamer]

My experiences are very similiar to those above - He didn't recoil in horror or anything and is even willing to (try to!) indulge me every once and awhile. Even if things don't turn out so well (I don't see why it shouldn't, when you really look at it, it's NOT that big of a deal) at least you'll KNOW where she stands on all of this. Getting married is a huge thing and I personally think it'd be for the best that there are no secrets surrounding it. =)

If you dunno how to tell her, wait until you start talking about what turns you on, stuff like that. You could even make a joke out of it. In my experiences, if you make a big deal out of it, they'll get freaked out easier too.

Good luck! =)

[Thorne]

So, basically, what I gather is staying calm is a good thing? lol

[Poppy]

Ive told my close friends about it, but they seem to be immature about it, (Considering that Im still in school). I think that if your older then you should go ahead and tell her. Maybe she will even induce for you

~Tubas

[Thorne]

lol, I guess it's at the point where, I'm more worried about how I'll react to telling her, than she'll react about hearing it, if that makes sense? haha

[King_of_the_ruins]

absolutely Thorne, i agree with the above people and their positive experiences. Mine has been similar telling a few close friends. Since that time, telling someone is not that big of a deal to me. I told my wife while we were still dating, and while she doesn't understand the fetish, she has nothing against it, and is willing to indulge me as well.

Go for it bud! 99% of us that have told have had a positive experience, i am sure you should be no different

[Thorne]

Okay, so... I told her.

We were sitting on the couch, she was leaning on me and, I just said it out of the blue...

Her reaction was really comforting... she didn't freak out or anything. All she did was give me a big hug and tell me she was sad that I had to hide it from her for all this time. Then she went back to leaning on me like nothing even happened.

[The Dude]

Congrats bro! Another SFF success story.

Enjoy your future together!

[ID2006]

Good job. I'm so glad it turned out well for you.

[snuffle-bunny]

Congratulations!

[King_of_the_ruins]

very good! glad to hear it went well

[Hollow]

That's the way to do it!