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Have you ever thought of this or has this ever happend to you?


Daphine

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Has this ever happend to anyone or have you ever thought about this?

I was on the phone last night, it being Sunday it's the

night when I always talk to my boyfriend P. He was telling

me about a couple he had on his charter that morning and about how

they had tatoo's and piercings all over and the guy had these

things in his earlobes that stretched them out. He was kind of

laughing at them and all and it just got me thinking how would he

be if he ever really knew about me and my fetish :yuck: Would he laugh and think

I'm a "freak"? A word he used to describe them and also a word that I hate more than any other :blink: I don't know but after we got off the phone it just

really made me feel terrible inside, like the way I used to feel

back in junior high and early high school before I knew about the community and that I wasn't alone in this sneeze fetish world ;) I don't want you to get the wrong idea

about P, he really is a sweet guy who is very open minded and

understanding. I mean two of his friends back here in KW are gay

and it dosn't mean anything to him, there just one of the guys and I always think back on this

one day when they took a group of mentaly handicapped adults out on

the boat to try snorkling :hug: , he was so wonderful with all of them that it still

makes me cry when ever I think about it becouse I feel so lucky.

I'm sorry I'm trying to explane to you that he's a good person so

you willn't think he isn't. Anyway, last night just got me

thinking about how he might respond if he ever did find out about my fetish, would he think I'm a freak or would he understand.

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People fear what they do not understand. I've had people like your boyfriend "laugh" at my ink and I think to myself, "silly human, these are badges of honor that mark major events in my life. Watch while I smile, nod and show that I am the bigger person by not reacting as you wish."

A fetish is much the same way. I've caught myself going, "omg, that's SO WEIRD!" over a few fetishes before and then? Well, I think of myself. I think of THIS fetish and what it means to me. After that, I am cool. Just because your boyfriend took a crack at us "tattooed weirdos" doesn't make him a bad person. It DOES make him a bit ignorant for doing so, but not "bad."

It's all about your perspective and I am certain because he loves you, that would not change his mind about you. :yuck:

~Aku

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I basically just want to echo everything Akutenshi just said!

I'd like to say that I feel the same way... we I do feel the same way... but unfortunately I think my behavior is closer to your BF's (both the good and the bad) than to Akutenshi's when it comes to having a good, strong, healthy open-mindedness.

(I try - but I fail. Teach me sensei! :yuck: )

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You know, the funny thing is.....some of the VERY SAME people who have made fun of me to my face have not recognized me when I "dress up." That's always amusing. :laugh:

Be very careful who you taunt, even if it's behind their back. You never know who might hear you. :P

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Daphine, I'm sorry this happened to you :hug:

I don't think that the two situations are comparable. The people with the piercings, he doens't know, and I bet if they were his friends before they got the piercings, he would still like them after. So if he was to ever find out about the fetish (or anything else that you consider personal and/or embarrassing) he wouldn't look at that thing alone, isolated from the person - he'd look at it as a part of you, whom he cares a great deal about. As D put it when I told him, after building it up and making it sound so bad (apparently :lol:) there's nothing inherently harmful to ourselves or others about our fetish, and someone who loves you will understand that, and still love you.

I know it's upsetting, but I wouldn't worry. He was probably just trying to make conversation and tell you about something that he found interesting :)

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Daphine I know how you feel. If I get a boyfriend I plan on never telling him about the fetish and praying to God he never finds out about it (I'm obvious with this fetish, when a guy I like does it, which could be bad... and has been ^_^ ).

I have the same paranoid thoughts, except mine keep going in my head and never stop :wub: But because your not me, I would asume you might have much better luck and your bf probably wouldn't be mean or think anything weird of you. Because he loves you he most likely won't think anything bad of it, he might even indulge you which would be so cool if I could get that kinda luck ;) .

I think you should even consider telling him, and if he truly loves you he will either understand or try to understand, and not be mean about it at all. I say give it a try, even if you weren't considering telling, I think you should ^_^

I weird today ;)

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i completely agree with Aku, and Lady. What you do to your 'outer shell' does not change the internal part.

Also as Lady mentioned, if he did find out about the fetish, since he cares about you, it shouldn't change how he views you ;)

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Well if you tell him, it would let him know that you are comfortable with him. And it will take alot of your chest. So I agree with everyone else. I don't think telling him could hurt anything. ( and i'd also like to point out that the "things that stretch your earlobes" are still earrings. just gauged. Mine are gauged to a 00, which means u can fit your pinky finger through them. YAAAY. lol.)

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People fear what they do not understand. I've had people like your boyfriend "laugh" at my ink and I think to myself, "silly human, these are badges of honor that mark major events in my life.

Thank you all for your advice and for just being there :lol:

Tuesday night I talked with P on the phone again (we normaly talk every other night). Durring the course of our conversation I brought up what he had said and mentioned to him again that it bothers me when ever anyone puts someone else down :D . He knows that I have self confidence issues since high school (he dosn't know why) and thats why I feel this way. He apologized for saying what he had said and explaned that it had just been one of those days, not that that's an excuse. We did talk about his views on the subject and why he feels this way at times. He mentioned that he had an issue with the the the things that stretch out peoples earlobes becouse he feared that it could "harm these kids in the long run". This was all well and good but we all discussed that it's there body and they can do what ever they want, and becouse of this it's not fare for anyone to make fun of someone becouse of there own personal feelings and views :jumpy: .

It is interesting what you said Akutenshi about your tatoo's. Patrick has one :bleh: It's a shark in the colors of a scuba diving flag (diver down) just like the picture below. He got it on his left shoulder blade that night he graduated from college with is his degree in scuba instruction (DIVING BUSINESS AND TECHNOLOGY). He and his two best friends from school all got them together so it's just like you said about how they mark major events in my life.:bleh:

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As for my fetish, I have tried to tell him but still havn't been able to get up the nerve to do so :jump: I really hope to some day.

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