A "The Fetish made me so uncomfortable" story

[Sapphire]

Don't we enjoy reading these stories (or maybe not)?

So I trained for this volunteer position with kids. During the several weeks of training, I kept hearing about a children's book that the volunteers could read to children to help them to understand the role of the volunteer. On the last day of training, they gave each of us a copy of this book, and they went from person to person and had each of us read a page out loud. There were fifty of us adults. I was sitting in the back of the room. By about page 5, I realized that the kid's book had the inevitable sneezing storyline to amuse the young 'uns and an elaborate one at that -- a woman allergic to a cute dog that her children smuggled in. Pages of writing filled with big buildups "AH AH AH AH AH CHOOO AH CHOO AH CHOO" You get the picture.

So, here's the scenario of my reactions: someone had read the first page with a lot of the sneezing. I skip through covertly to later pages to discover that the sneezing continues to make a comeback toward the end. I try to gauge the number of pages in the book vs. the number of people vs. my position in the back row. I consider whether I have the courage to read "AH AH CHOO AH CHOO" and say "she sneezed" should I happen to get one of the sneezy pages. I feel a weird panic set in. At the same time, I get annoyed with myself for being so freaked out. I flip through again. Too nervous to count the pages accurately. What to do??!!!

I decide to have a "bathroom emergency." I leave the room, and I hang out for 5-7 mins in a bathroom stall. I come out when I figure the coast must be clear. I go back in the room to find that my timing is impeccable. The reading has just skipped me and moved to the girl next to me, and it is also the last page of the storybook. I sit down, trying to look quite harried as though I had certainly had to quickly leave the room and all that. The girl next to me finishes reading, and then she apologizes to me, "sorry that would have been your page." I tell her how very o.k. that is.

And the moral of the story is that if I had had to read "HIC HIC HIC HICCUP HICCUP" "she hiccuped" it would have been no problem at all.

Sometimes this fetish drives me nuts!!

[Blah!?]

I would have died if I had to do that. Hell, a while back I couldn't even watch movies with sneezing in them with other people. At least not male ones, especially if they had all the qualities I like in a female one. I'd just do the same thing you did and have a bathroom emergency if I watched a repeat and I knew there was a sneeze coming.

[(hippo)]

Sounds like my kind of book

Sorry you had to go through that Nice avoiding!

Imagine a.. hiccup fetishist freaking out because there was a hiccups book with lots of HIC HIC HICCUPPING in it (there are actually plently of those, btw )

I guess they'd have the same feeling.

....

What happened in the end of the book?

[Hai]

Sounds like my kind of book

Sorry you had to go through that Nice avoiding!

Imagine a.. hiccup fetishist freaking out because there was a hiccups book with lots of HIC HIC HICCUPPING in it (there are actually plently of those, btw )

I can attest to that uncomfortableness if I had to read a "hic hic hiccup" page. There are quite a few hiccup children's books out there. And they have hiccuping in the dialog, so there'd be no way around it. I think I'd say "Crap, forgot something at home. Can I run out a bit? I promise I'll get to the next book."

I don't think I could stomach it. Heh.

[Geist]

Ugh, gods. While I'm not shy about the fetish, I CERTAINLY would not have enjoyed that at all, either!

You know, when I was younger, we had sing this STUPID kids' song where the chorus was some crap about having a cold and your head feeling stuffy and we all had to go "AAAAHHHHCCHOOOOO!" in this high pitched voice. GODS, I hated that! I used to "have bathroom moments" during that song, too!

~Aku

[Lady Tori]

I've used the bathroom trick before when watching movies with family.

That was real quick thinking Sapphire! Hope you won't have to go through that again...

[KawaiiKitty]

Because I'm weird...you know what I would have hated the most about that? The word "Ah-choo". Something about THAT word rubs me the wrong way. "She sneezed" is fine with me, I can say that as much as you want. Sneezing on TV is fine with me too. "Ah-choo" is just...I dislike it. Haha perhaps I have a latent fear that my dislike of that word will come out in my voice if I ever say it out loud? I don't know...

Of course, because I'm weird, I'd be even MORE nervous about trying to get out of something that I was expected to do. So I probably wouldn't even have had the courage to fake a bathroom emergency like you! I'm sure you're very happy with your acting skills!

[Sneesee]

Even though I love books like that, I absolutely despise having to read them to my children! If it has the word sneeze in it, I try to avoid reading it to them like the plague! Now, I may read it to myself, but out loud? NO WAY!

Sorry, but it is kind of cute knowing how you were squirming to come up with a way to not have to read. Bravo for the bathroom idea!!!

[brownsville]

aww! god i was cringing reading that, so god knows how you must have felt- that is my worst nightmare, i could just about manage to say "sneezed" but the whole "ah-choo!" thing.....!! no way!

Also, the other week i was forced to say "sneezed"- it wasn't nice!! i'm also aware how silly this sounds when it's typed out!!

[Lynne]

Not silly at all. I can't say it. Never could. I forced myself to a couple of times when making wavs, but that's about it.

[army-girl]

Don't we enjoy reading these stories (or maybe not)?

Yes! YES we do! thanks so much for posting it, I think you handled it very nicely, not sure how I would've gone about it, not a scenario I could envision (I do know however that I don't fake sneeze in a group of fake sneezing people for the sake of a joke, I just grin and take notes ).

Imagine a.. hiccup fetishist freaking out because there was a hiccups book with lots of HIC HIC HICCUPPING in it (there are actually plently of those, btw )

I guess they'd have the same feeling.

Ok, so naturally I know of hiccup fetishism (and I'm fond of hiccups but not like I'm FOND of sneezing ) but this just made me realize, when I chat online, and I have the hiccups, I'll actually type'm as in - *hic* - randomly in the text, and this note just made me realize that ZOMG! maybe someone has taken advantage of my tele-style in the past? that would be kinda amusing actually just a random thought, sorry if I'm jacking. Over and Out.

[Coral]

Funny thing is... I would be able to read "he sneezed..." aloud (if it wasn't in front of my family), but I would never, ever be able to read alound the sentence in my own language; danish :"han nøs..." Ugh...

Just.. writing it down seems.. wrong!! Maybe it's because I only discus sneezing in english, in the Forum!

[Secret98]

I had to something similar, andn I can't say the word "sneeze' I can only type it or write it, the only reason I can type it or write it is because I needed to when I started in this forum but I have the hardest time saying "sneeze" out loud. when I talk to people who know about the fetish I always say something like," Gaara was wording in my dream last night." I say "wording" instead of "sneezing"

I was in class about 2 years ago, and we all had to read one line. Well 1 of the lines said, "Somebody sneezed." So I checked who was reading and then wanted to see who had to read that line, it was me! The teacher was the kind who said "you can't go to bathroom during class" so that excuse was no good, and that is always my main excuse to get out of anything "fetishy", like if I'm sitting next to my crush and he sneezes, "I have to go to the bathroom!" Hoping I can hide my "reactions" from the world.... doesn't work and when I come back people ask me about it I won't get into that though, it's my problem with having this fetish-- being obvious... I got out of class another way, not a positive way, I should add, but I didn't have to read it

[Vetinari]

Uh-oh...........run away.........

[Guest No More Lies]

Oh NO! I would have blushed until my toes dropped off one by one from lack of bloodflow. I would have done the run-and-hide-in-the-toilet bit too, believe me. And yeah, like several of the others I think I could have handled "she sneezed", though I might have stuttered a little, or said the word shyly. But if I had to read the actual "AH CHOO" bit, I probably would have gone through it so fast it would have sounded like garbage, just to get past it.

Oddly enough though, when I was a kid I LOVED to run around, making my dolls sick and yelling "AH CHOO!" every time one of them sneezed. I think I became shy of it once I realized that sneezing was a sexual thing for me.

[Glowie]

OMG, I was giggling like mad at this story, simply because if I was in your shoes I would have felt and done EXACTLY the same things!

I often leave the room if I know a sneeze is coming up in a TV show or movie, or I'll turn to whoever I'm sitting with and talk loudly about something completely unrelated to whatever we're watching (which is probably really annoying for them, but anyway). If it happens when I'm watching something on my own, I'll look away from the screen... isn't that crazy? I have a sneeze fetish and yet I can't bring myself to watch people sneezing on TV! I get embarrassed even when no one else is there. It's so weird.