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Naruto fic! - (2 Parts)

Guest Hannah

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Guest Hannah

:mellow: omg, this was soooo much fun! And you can all thank GS-Coyote for giving me the idea!

Okay, I was reading her Sasuke fic, and when Sasuke sneezed on Sakura, it sounded like she still found it cute. But then I thought, do only people with sneeze fetishes find it cute? Does Sakura have a sneeze fetish? But then, don't ask me why, I got to thinking......what if Sasuke had the sneeze fetish?

This is about how one day, everyone in Konoha is either sick or has allergies and Sasuke's fetish practically makes him go insane!!!

Yes, I know it doesn't sound like Sasuke to have a sneeze fetish, but it was so much fun to make! Please don't kill me. :yuck::cry:

I'll make the fic later.

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I've been wanting to read something like this since the summer of '06.

I'm definitely looking forward to it!


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Guest Hannah

Now....BEHOLD! MY NEW FAN FIC!!!! *presses button*

....Are you beholding it?

.....*messes with remote and screen comes down* There we go! On with the beholding!!

Sasuke Uchiha woke up one sunny Monday morning to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. They were burnt to a crisp by Sasuke before they even finished their song. "Birds suck..." he yawned and glanced at his calender. Oh great. Today was "the most important D rank mission of the year", acording to Lady Tsunade. His team, Squad 8, Squad 10, Squad 13, and (just for GS :baaa: ) the sand siblings were going to a really really really REALLY big farm and do all the chores. Today was going to suck more than usual.

He quickly dressed, ate a small bowl of rice, and rushed out the door to the Hokage's palace. (I know it isn't a palace, but I'm don't care.) Halfway there, Sasuke's train of thought was broken by a rather loud "EEEESSH-OOOOO!" Trying to see where the sneeze came from, Sasuke tripped.

"Bless you, Kiba."

"Are you okay, Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked up and saw Hinata glancing down at him. "Are you alright?" she said again.

"Yeah...fine..." Sasuke mumbled and stood up. "Um....who...who just sneezed?"

He was answered by Kiba sneezing roughly into his elbow. "Dumb cat.." he sniffed and glanced down at a small kitten. "Man, my allergies are really bugging me today..."

Sasuke bit his tounge. Maybe today wouldn't be as boring as he had thought. He would get some good observations. Maybe Kiba wasn't completely useless after all. "We should get to the Hokage's Palace..."

"Yes...We should get there quick or the Hokage will be angry...Lady Tsunade is scary when she's angry...." Shino mumbled.

The other three nodded and began walking down the path again. After a few minutes, Sasuke heard a small "ah-shoo" next to him. He glanced over and saw Hinata rubbing her small nose. "shoo... she sneezed again.

"Are you okay, Hinata?" Kiba asked with a sneeze himself.

"Fine. Thanks. I might have a little cold, but that's all..." Hinata said in her always-shy voice.

Sasuke gulped and smiled to himself. Kiba's allergies? Hinata's cold? This day couldn't get any better.


Correction. It could get better.

"Sorry..." Shino muttered rubbing his nose. "It must be the flowers..."

Sasuke smirked. There would be a lot of flowers on the farm.


"Hi, Sasuke!" Sakura and Ino both said as Sasuke and Squad 8 entered the Hokage's Palace. They immediatly began yelling "Sasuke's mine!" and "Back of, Ino Pig!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and went over to Kakashi-sensei, who was facing a corner.

"Kakashi-sensei, where are-"

Eh-eh-ESSSHOOO! HIT-CHOO!" Kakashi sneezed wetly. Sasuke felt as if his heart had stopped. How lucky was he? "Sorry, Sasuke," Kakashi sniffled and rubbed his small nose. "I guess Lady Tsunade gave me her cold."

"Oh, that's....wait, Lady Tsunade has a cold?!"

"Hi, kids...Hei-choo!"

Sasuke quickly turned around and saw Tsunade sneeze gently into her shoulder. "Sorry," she sniffed. "Anyway, you all will be able to go on your mission as soon as the sand squad-"


Everyone turned and saw Temari, Kankuro and Gaara, who was rubbing his nose. Sasuke couldn't tell if Gaara was turning red from embarrassment or anger.

"Sorry we're late," Temari said in her fake-sweet voice. "We had to force medicine down Gaara's throat for his cold-"

"I DON'T HAVE A COLD!!!" Gaara screamed. "I just caught a draft, okay?" he mumbled, calmer this time.

"...Well, you can go off to the farm now. And do a good job," Tsunade said, sneezing once more. The genin headed out the door and towards the village gate.

"Why do we have to have such a suckish mission?" Naruto grumbled. "Most important mission of the year my- ACK-CHUH!" He sneezed openly and sprayed Sakura.

"YOU LITTLE-!!!!!" Sakura began screaming and hitting Naruto repeatidly.

"I'm sorry, Sakura!" Naruto yelled, trying to block his head from the blows. "I must've caught Gaara's-"

"Think VERY carefully before you continue," Gaara said menicingly.

"...Did I say Gaara? I meant Grandma Tsunade!" Naruto forced a smile and backed away from Gaara.

Sasuke gulped as Naruto and Hinata sneezed at once. He was happy that everyone was sick and had allergies...but this was a little much...even for HIM. "Hey...Sakura..."

Sakura quickly turned away from Naruto and turned to Sasuke "Yes, Sasuke?"

"Sakura...do you know why everyone is sick and has allergies? Today of all days?"

Sakura stared quizically at her crush. "Hmm?...Well...I'm not sure. Maybe it's just a really bad day for everyone....Why do you want to know, Sasuke? Do you...like it?"

Sasuke felt his heart stop. She knew. Sakura knew. Now she would tell everyone.

"Sakura..." Sasuke pulled her close and whispered. "Sakura, please don't tell ANYONE about my fetish. They's think I'm weak and pathedic..."

Sakura's eyes widened. "Sasuke, you have a sneeze fetish?" She whispered. "Man, I was just kidding about liking it..."

Sasuke slapped his forehead. He could be so stupid sometimes. "Don't tell a soul!"

"Don't worry, Sasuke! You're secret's safe with me!" Sakura said rather loudly as everyone stared.

"Ooh, Sasuke has a secret!?" Ino grabbed Sakura. "What is it!? Does he like me!? What is-"

"It's probably that he's gay," Gaara mumbled. Knowing everyone would laugh, he quickly turned away and sneezed into his palm a few times.

"It's...nothing," Sakura said winking at Sasuke. Sasuke forced a smile back.


"This place...is FREAKIN' HUGE!!!" Choji yelled as the genin stared up at the large farm.

"Today's going to be a drag..." Shikamaru muttered. "Why do we even have to-" his nose twitched and he sneezed into his fist. "And I have allergies, too..."

Sakura glanced and Sasuke, but quickly looked away. Would he feel bad or angry if she looked at him whenever someone sneezed?

"Hey, Sakura..."

Sakura glanced to her right and saw Ino. "Come on, Billboard Brow, what did Sasuke say?"

"Nothing that you would understand, Ino Pig!" Sakura shot back.

"What did you ca-ca-EITCHOO!!" Ino's sneeze was loud, but dainty.

Sasuke gulped and turned away. If Ino saw the nervous smile he had on his face, she'd know.

"Oh, I hate this grass allergy..." Ino sniffed and sneezed again. It took Sakura all her will power not to look at Sasuke.

"Bless you....PIG!" Sakura snapped quickly. Ino glared.

"Hey....where's Gaara!?" Kankuro said franticly. "Don't tell me he....." He rushed off with Temari.

"Well, I'm going to go do the milking." Sakura said and walked around the barn. She was surprised to see Gaara having a sneezing fit in the corner. "Are you alright...?"

Gaara quickly stopped and looked at Sakura. "Wh-What're you doing here?" He mumbled, trying to hold back another sneeze.

"I...was going to do the milking..." Sakura stared quizically as Gaara kept gulping and his eyes swelled with sneezy tears. "..You know, Gaara, you shouldn't hold it back. Just sne-"

"I don't have to sneeze- ETCHOO! EH-ESHOO!!" he bent over and sneezed. Sakura giggled.

"Come on, you don't have to hide it." She grabbed his hand before he could recoil and helped him up.

"...I thought you feared me..." he muttered with a sniff.

"I did...but it's hard to fear a sneeze that funny sounding," she laughed. Gaara glared. "Right...sorry, Gaara...."

"Gaara shrugged and let out another sneeze. "Okay. I won't hold it back if you don't laugh again."

Sakura nodded and began to do the milking as Gaara began another sneezing fit.

Second and final part coming soon!

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:lmfao: Ok, this is just awesome!

He was answered by Kiba sneezing roughly into his elbow. "Dumb cat.." he sniffed and glanced down at a small kitten. "Man, my allergies are really bugging me today..."

Ohhh hooo hooooooooo. YES! I read that about 15hundred times. :)

"Sorry..." Shino muttered rubbing his nose. "It must be the flowers..."

Sasuke smirked. There would be a lot of flowers on the farm.

Kiba AND Shiiiiiinoooo?!?!... I am such a happyKisa. :cryhappy:

Very excellent! :D

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-after reading about 400 times-

Eeeeeee~!!! This is AWESOME. Like. WOW.

It's official. You're amazing.


No, but seriously. CONTINUE.

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wow lots of sneezes! I have to read it slowly...or I might explode!

I don't even care for this anime much, but this fic is really fun!

This made me happy :drool:

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....okay, just because you asked nicely....

BTW, if you're an Orochimaru fan, you might be insulted by this a bit....

PS: this part it short.


Sasuke flinched when he heard Temari's soft sneeze. He was happy, but....a little weirded out too. Sure, hearing a sneeze every ten seconds was awsome, but.....it made him feel a little uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, behind the farm, Sakura was milking the large cow while listening to Gaara's sneezing fit.

"HEH----KITCHOO! AIE---SHOO! ESHOO!" Gaara sniffed and rubbed his nose.

"..Here." Sakura gave him a hankercheif.

He hesitated. A few moments later, he took the hankercheif and blew his nose gently. "So, has Sasuke's fetish driven him insane yet?"

Sakura froze. "How did you--??"

Gaara shrugged. "It's kind of obvious. He smiles every time someone sneezed. Why do you think I tried to muffle them on the way here? I didn't want him to go gay on me."

Sakura giggled and got back to milking.

"This is my chance, Kabuto! This is my chance to finally obtain Sasuke!"

"Um, how, sir?"

Orochimaru glared at Kabuto. "Idiot! Sasuke has a sneeze fetish, and it's stressing him out, too! If we could get everyone to sneeze enough, it'll bring the curse mark out! BWAHAHA-"

Kabuto slapped a hand over Orochimaru's mouth. "You suck," he heard him muffle.

"Sorry, sir, but they're hear you."

Orochimaru nodded. "Okay, all we need is these!" He pulled a bag of cat fur, dust, and pollen from his pocket.

"Um...Sir...if you just found out Sasuke had the fetish now...then why do you have those?"

"Um..uh..SILENCE!!" Orochimaru threw the bags into the air. They exploded and went everywhere.

"And so then I told him.....ESHOO!!!" Neji sneezed roughly into his shoulder.

"Bless you, Neji. Are you alright? ETCHOO!" Lee sneezed too.

Moments later, everyone was sneezing. Sasuke felt as if his heart really had stopped. "No...no..." He dropped to his knees moaning.

"aie-choo! Sasuke!" Sakura covered her nose with her headband and rushed over to Sasuke. "Sasuke, say something! Are you alright?"

"Make it...stop...Sakura..." Sasuke mumbled with a wet sneeze himself. The curse mark began to form on the left side of his face.

Sakura glanced around. What could she use to get rid of all the dust and stuff? Her eyes suddenly met Temari. "Lemme borrow this!" She said and grabbed Temari's huge fan. "Oh, i hope i can do this right...WIND SYTHE JUTSU!!"

The wind began to blow strongly and the dust, pollen and cat fur began to float away.

"RETREAT! ATCHOOO!" Orochimaru sneezed and rushed away with Kabuto.

Sakura took the headband away from her nose and bent down to Sasuke. "Sasuke, are you okay?"

Sasuke nodded slowly. "Thank you...Sakura..."

"Oh, don't thank me, Sasuke. I only wanted to-choo!"

Sasuke glanced up at her and smiled weakly. "Bless you."

*Bows* thank you all! This was fun to make and you can expect a new fic soon!

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