The Archmage's Predicament - (8 Parts)

[Quell]

What am I, a bunny farm?!

This story uses the characters of a story I still have yet to write. This piece won't be included, but I thought it was nice anyway. I hope I can establish the character's personalities and general other stuff in this little thingo, but if I am asked to provide information about the characters, I will.

Might have multiple parts, not sure. Depends on whether or not I think of something. I'm open to suggestions.

---

"Dear gods, not again."

I turned my head to look at him, mildly surprised by his irritated expression. "What?"

"I... I have to snee..." He trailed off as his breath hitched, then he sighed, shaking his head. "Whenever I have to sneeze, it... teases me and never actually comes until an inconvenient moment."

"Really? Every time?"

"Nearly every time."

"I... can't say I know what that's like."

He raised an eyebrow at me, a hint of curiosity showing in his oceanic-blue eyes. "Do you ever sneeze, dear woman?"

I gave an annoyed huff. "How many times have I told you not to call me by my name?"

He shrugged, now looking amused. "I don't know. But, as I have said before, it's humorous to watch your exasperation."

"If you won't call me Valeria, I shall go back to calling you Archmage."

"You're the very epitome of maturity, aren't you, dear?"

"Yes indeed, Archmage."

"Archmage Kassil."

"No, only Archmage."

"Huh-KSHUU!" Kassil lurched forward, his long, black hair obscuring his face from my view. Then, he sneezed again, his head jerking downwards. "KSHUU!"

"You see," he said, dabbing at his nose with a handkerchief he'd pulled from somewhere or other, and tucking his hair back behind one ear, "that was inconvenient."

"Do you always sneeze twice?"

"No. Usually it's more than that."

"Interesting."

"Not really."

---

Okay, not the best ending to this. But I really like this. As you can see, Kassil is fond of large words. And Valeria objects to being called anything but her name.

Yay for sneezy archmagi!

[Mistress Quickly]

Ooh! Ooh! I LOVE this! Sexywittysneeziness. Yum yum yum. Love the banter, love the premise, love the execution. I hope it does have multiple parts, but can't offer any suggestions at present, because while the eyes are open and the fingers are typing, Ms Brain has left the building for the moment. So I admire from afar.

I adore this:

' "Do you always sneeze twice?"

"No. Usually it's more than that."

"Interesting."

"Not really." '

Yay!

Edited March 4, 2008 by Mistress Quickly

[Quell]

XD Yes, Val and Kas are extremely amusing.

...oh fiddlesticks. "How many times have I told you not to call me by my name?" should be "How many times have I told you to call me by my name?" but I can't edit yet.

Glad you like it, I sure do, I think I'm most proud of this thingo.

What, you liked the end? Lol, I don't like the end XD But I should stop harshly judging my stories.

I just love witty banter.

[Sneesee]

That was WAY CUTE! I love the banter between them! Oh man, and his inconvenient sneezes were yummy! Thank you! *Hopes there's more*

[count tiszula]

Excellent story! The witticisms are wonderful. It;s always nice to have a protagonist with Arch in the title! I can't wait for yet more inopportune sneezes...

[confetishcake]

Ah, excellent.

Write on, my friend! You surley cannot leave us hanging!

[chui]

oh yay!!!! this was such a nice set of bantering.... and he sounds so lovely with his long black hair!! i do hope you write more!!

[Quell]

What?! You guys want more?! I haven't had this much demand for my writing since we did this long writing thing in school!

Yes he is lovely, chui.

Today I told one of my friends about this and I said, "Yes, so after he sneezed, he got out his handkerchief... in a dignified way, and wiped his nose... in a dignified way, and tucked his hair back behind his ear... IN A DIGNIFIED WAY."

I am so strange sometimes all the time.

Well, I suppose I can try and scrape something up from the depths of my imagination.

---

"I suppose you should know," he said, lying down in the grass next to where I sat, "that the city girls were never interested in the number of times I sneezed."

"I don't suppose they would be, sneezing must seem like an everyday plague." I admit that the subject was strange, but it was something to talk about, and that was good enough for the both of us. No, perhaps just me.

"Yes, they all suffer various afflictions and reactions... but not you." He looked up at me, possessing that same catlike curiosity he'd had earlier.

"No... sneezing is a rare occurrence for me, Archmage."

"Archmage Kassil," he chuckled.

"No. I'll only--"

He raised his hand as if in warning, turning away from me and squeezing his eyes shut. He drew in a sharp breath... and then opened his eyes once more, with a sigh.

"I curse those gods of yours for this."

"How can you curse the gods if you don't believe in their existence?"

"That is one of the few things I do not know... yet."

I was amused by his arrogance, and I half-smiled as I looked away, towards the river. Then, a startling distraction made me turn around sharply.

"Huh-KSHUU!" He groaned, then sneezed once more, louder. "KSHHUU!"

I raised my eyebrows at him, hearing him grumble and seeing him shake his head. "That hurt."

"How very interesting," I said, which was a half-truth.

"No, painful."

---

How very interesting indeed... hmmmm...

You wanted more, so you got more. And if you want any more of my random writing, you'd have to be crazy... not that there's anything wrong with that. But give me suggestions! Ideas! Inspiration! The bunny won't speak!

[chui]

yes yes....im absolutely crazy then! for i would adore more of this. i just love the first person writing style, and just how lovely they go back and forth.

*chases after a bunny* you know, im much more adept at chasing toads....

well....id love to find out a bit more on their looks....as they sound positively scrumptious.... and oh drat....im no good for plots with characters i dont know... maybe he has to do something....archmage-y? (wow... that sounded dumb)

im going to come back to this...hopefully after my coldmeds wear off....but i do this so.....cant wait to read anything else you bless us with.... hehehe i said bless....

[Quell]

I find writing in first person so much easier than third person, and it's nice to see someone who likes first person, as my mother doesn't.

Okay, seriously, what's with the whole toad thing?! o_o

Archmage-y? *snort* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that did sound dumb. In a highly amusing way.

I love the banter of Kas and Val. So hilarious XD Although Valeria is more immature than she ought to be here.

You want more appearance description? Hm, I will try.

And a teaser, because the bunny gave it to me:

"Why do you sneeze so much?"

"Why are you blonde?"

"That's a rather silly question, don't you think?"

"Exactly my point, dear."

---

I do hope it's not too hard to figure out who's talking. The bunny only gave me dialogue.

See you readers of my sugar-driven rambling next time.

[chui]

ok....that was classic!!!

and i really tried to think of something, you know, dealing what they actually do....and he's like...an archmage...so what ever it is exactly that he does....it just came out "archmage-y" thats it. i give up. im at a total loss for coherency tonight.

and the toads....uhm...im an amateur herpetologist who loves to hunt toads... (dont mind me, im a bit obsessed) they just pop up everywhere...especially when im medicated at the keyboard... just ignore me...

[Quell]

I would like to start this post off with a thank you to the late E. Gary Gygax. Without your wonderful creations, Valeria and Kassil would never have existed, and I would never have had such great inspirations. Though I don't know how to calculate an attack roll, I still feel that I must thank you for inspiring the creations of my favorite computer games that got me started writing fantasy. Thank you.

...

...well, then...

Glad you like the teaser, chui.

Oh, I hope you feel better

And the toad thing... is cool. 8D

Ahhh dad just came home, finish later

[Quell]

Kaykay, back to story.

---

He sighed yet again, looking incredibly weary.

"You seem tired," I said, twirling a strand of his hair around my finger.

"I suppose I am, a bit."

"I thought mages suffered from insomnia most of the time..."

"Dear girl, you listen to far too many ru... ruu... huh..."

I decided to help this time, by picking up a blade of grass and very carefully putting it into his left nostril.

"huh-ESHHUU! ECK-SHUU! ESSHH!" He'd tried to stifle the sneezes in his robes, albeit unsuccessfully.

"What," he said with a wet-sounding sniff, "was that for?"

"You hate being teased by your sneezes, so--"

"It was never my implication that you should--"

"All I was trying to do was help--"

"Well, next time, don't both--"

"Why do you sneeze so much, anyway?"

He paused, his expression blank, then he said with a scoff, "Why are you blonde?"

"That's... a rather silly question, isn't it?"

"Exactly my point, dear." He shook his hair out of his face, then stood up slowly. "I am going to sleep."

"I suppose that means that I'll be on watch this night, then?"

"Yes. Do wake me up if something tries to kill us."

"I will."

---

I try to write descriptively in first person.

I fail.

DX Sorry chui.

But... um, Kassil (unintentionally) looks kind of Rudolph Valentino, but with longer hair, if that helps any...

...I need sleep.

[chui]

ooooh yummy!! so very, very kind of her to help him out like that!!!!

i do so enjoy your banter!

[Quell]

Kassil, they're gonna eat you...

XD Never knew I was so good at writing banter. My favorite line of it would have to be "Yes. Do wake me up if something tries to kill us."

Muahahaha, yes indeed, how nice of her...

*wonders why only chui posts on this thread now* *decides to stop thinking about it and hugs chui*

[chui]

im sorry....i chased them all away so i could over the archmage in private i guess i can let them back in now....

[Quell]

Hahaha chui, I understand, but it gets just a little lonely around here.

Random quote by me about the story:

"If I've counted correctly, Kassil has sneezed a total of seven or eight times... I think it's seven, though. And he's even gone to bed early... I think mister archmage is catching something!"

[Quell]

1:57 in the morning O_O And ice cream on top of that... I'm a bad, baaad girl...

So, now for The Archmage's Predicament part... part... um... I forgot what number we were on o_O

---

There was never any doubt in my mind that I was tired. I'd hoped to take a short nap sometime in the late afternoon, but since Kassil had gone to bed as early as he had, there was no chance of that.

Twice I'd caught myself falling asleep, having to remind myself that staying awake was safer for the both of us. Still, I felt myself slipping away for the third time, not helped by the river's gentle, slow lullaby.

"Het-ESSHU!"

I jolted awake once more, first feeling startled, then a bit concerned. "Kassil, have you been unable to sleep this whole time?"

"The whole cursed time."

"I'd gladly trade with you, I can't seem to do anything but fall asleep."

Silence. A sniff. A muffled cough or two.

"Are you all right?"

"Somehow, I don't think so."

"You do realize that this is hindering our progre--"

"Tell that to my nose, not me."

More silence, partly because I was far too tired to think up a retort, and partly because there wasn't much to say.

"At least I'm not back at home."

"I'd have thought you'd be more comfortable suffering in your own bed."

"I would except... it's difficult to get a good night's rest when you're ill when a ghost-possessed cat is pouncing on you every five seconds, asking if you're okay."

"Surely you're exaggerating."

"Sadly, only a little."

Silence yet again, broken this time by my yawning. "Kassil... I am tired. I need to sleep."

"If we wake up dead, I'm blaming you."

"That made no sense."

"I suppose it didn't."

---

No, it didn't take me hours to write this XD My mom woke up and I had this window open the whooole time, covered by another tab. She's gone downstairs to watch tv at last.

And, like Valeria, I'm tired. *clunk*

[crazy_cat_girl]

This is really cool!

I remember what it was like to write things in "stealth mode"... family members have the worst timing.

Now, I have my own computer and my own little space away from home! It's lovely. You'll have that soon, too. :-P

Great story... I am really enjoying the fantasy elements.

[confetishcake]

*pokes out of lurkdome for a moment just to sayy~*

I this, and I compleatly support your continuing this! So please please doo! You're very talented. :3

Awesome.

*slinks back into shady lurkdome from whence I came...Muahaha....*

[Quell]

Char: Talented? Why thank you I aspire to write fantasy books some day~

Crazy Cat Girl: Blahaha, stealth mode. XD Yeah, I pretty much only write fantasy. I've written some modern stuff, but it's always had fantasy touches. (Half-vampire guy, a talking husky, a fox-boy, etc.)

Very few of my friends thought that "If we wake up dead, I'm blaming you" was funny. Most of them just said "...what? That makes no sense at all." I think I'm losing my banter skill O_O Or maybe not.

[chui]

*SQUEEEEE* nonono! you are most certainly NOT losing your banter!!!

i loved this line:

"Tell that to my nose, not me."

and

"If we wake up dead, I'm blaming you"

[Quell]

The whole "I'm blaming you" thing is actually something I tack onto some of my sentences. Examples:

"If my character dies, I'm blaming you."

"If I get sick, I'm blaming you."

"If it's my fault, I'm still blaming you."

So it's no wonder that it sneaks into my stories.

I didn't think "Tell that to my nose, not me" was very funny... I couldn't think of anything, so I went "meh" and stuck it there.

It's kind of scary to think that this entire thing is fueled by no sleep and sugar. Seriously. I'll go eat a cookie or something, come here, and go taka taka taka taka at the keyboard to see what random caramel comes out of my brain this time. Occasionally, I think of something at school, or while walking around, but that's a pretty rare occurrence.

Now, for part 5, what should I torture Kassil with put into the story next?

[Candy]

This is cute, I enjoyed reading it.

[chui]

torture? oh dear... oh i dunno....but im sure something will jump out at you...