Spring Is In The Air, oneshot

[SweetP]

Okay so i mentioned in another post that when someone sneezes (since it's spring now) i say "spring is in the air!" instead of bless you. so because of this, i thought i'd write a little story about it. I personally think this little story is shit but i figured since i wrote it, i might as well post it lol. So here yall go:

Spring Is In The Air

“Spring is in the air!”

Jason opened his eyes and pulled his arm away from his face. He gave a wet sniffle and glared down at his little sister. “Quit saying that!” He growled.

“But Monica told me that that’s what you’re supposed to say to someone when they sneeze in the springtime!” Hailey insisted.

“Well Monica’s a dumbass.”

“You’re a—”

The look Jason gave Hailey stopped her in her tracks. Hailey crossed her arms over her chest and gave a loud ‘humph’.

“Don’t you pout,” Jason said to her, “you’re lucky I even brought you here to play with your stupid friend Monica.”

Hailey just looked up at her older brother, doing her very best to look mean, but failing rather miserably.

Jason was about to start back in on her, but he suddenly felt that all-too-familiar tickle creeping in the back of his nose. He held up a finger to her, as if to say he’d deal with her in a second, and his breath began to hitch. The sneeze was about to come but suddenly he heard a high-pitched voice shout, “spring is in the air!” The sneeze backed off and he growled angrily. He turned around and looked down; there stood Hailey’s friend Monica.

Jason sniffed harshly and rubbed the back of his hand under his nose, “hello Monica,” his voice was full of contempt.

“Hello Jason.” Her tone matched his perfectly.

Jason wasn’t Monica’s biggest fan, he’d told his mother many times that Monica was a bad influence on 10-year-old Hailey, but his mother didn’t listen to what he had to say. She’d just told him, “just take her to the girl scouts meeting at the park and stop bitching,” then she’d gone off into her home office to deal with more of her real estate shit. Jason couldn’t wait until he turned 18 and then he was out of there.

Monica and Hailey ran off to play in the play area until the other girls arrived for the meeting. Jason looked over at a park bench and saw a girl there. The girl had curly brown hair and big dark brown eyes. She was sprawled out on the top of the table on her back and her arms were sticking straight up, holding the book up so that she could see. Jason wondered how she could even see the book, being that it was so far away from her face. He started over to her and then yet again he felt that he was going to sneeze. This time though he was going to make it come out, even if it killed him. He inhaled deeply through his nose, causing the tickle to manifest. “UUP-TCSCHOOO! TCSXHOO-AH!”

The girl sat straight up and her arms fell into her lap. Her eyes were wide with shock. Jason removed his face from the crook of his arm and looked over at her with a small smile, he chuckled. “Did I scare you?”

“What does it look like?” She snapped, lying back down. “What an obnoxious sound.”

“It’s called a sneeze.” He walked over the rest of the way to her. “Ever heard of it?”

“No,” she said, sarcasm and spite in her voice, “never.”

He rolled his eyes and sat down on the part of the bench that was actually meant for sitting.

She sat up again, “what are you doing?”

“Sitting, mind?”

“Yes, that’s why I asked.”

“Well I’m not about to go sit closer to the girl-scout mothers. All they do is gossip and say how “cute” I am.”

The girl snorted and lay back down.

“What?” Jason demanded.

“You’re a cocky son-of-a-bitch aren’t you?”

“What are you talking a-aahh…” His faced had contorted into that pre-sneeze face and the girl turned over on her side to watch him. He made a confused face at her right before he exploded with a sneeze that landed all over her, “HHUPTCSHOO!”

“OH MY GOD!!” She squealed, wiping off her face and body dramatically.

“Ugh.” Jason rubbed his nose and sort of grinned. “If someone is about to sneeze, why the fuck would you turn around and face them? That was your fault, not mine.”

“Ever heard of covering your mouth!?”

She sat up and swung her legs over the table so they were resting on the seating part of the bench. Jason guessed she was sitting up for good. She was looking at the girls. He followed her gaze, she was looking at his sister. “Hey, what are you looking at?” He demanded.

“My sister.” She snapped. “Got a fucking problem with that?”

He looked back at where she was looking and found that Monica had appeared next to his sister and she was whispering something in her ear. The two girls looked over at Jason and the girl and started giggling. The girl shook her head and rolled her eyes, then she looked down at her book.

Jason was about to ask her if Monica was her sister, when his eyes started to water and his nostrils began to flare. “Huh-uh…”

“God, not again.” She rolled her eyes again, but more dramatically this time.

“Uhhh---ISCHOO! UUhTCSXHOOO! NNXXTCHOO!” Jason had tried his best to stifle them but had failed.

“Spring is in the air.” The girl’s voice was monotone.

“What did you just say?” Jason asked, his eyes wide.

“Spring is in the air.” She repeated.

“Why did you say that?”

“That’s what you say when someone is suffering from spring allergies.”

“How do you know I have allergies? Maybe I have a cold…”

“If you have a cold and you sneezed on me, you’re in a lot of trouble asshole.” Her eyes bore into him and he looked away.

“I don’t have a cold.”

“You’re lucky then, I don’t have to kick your ass.”

“You know who else says that ‘spring is in the air’ shit?”

“Who?”

“My little sister.”

“Cool….” The girl didn’t see where he was going with that.

“Wanna know who taught that annoying phrase to my little sister?”

“Who?”

“Monica.”

“My sister?”

“I knew it!”

“Knew what?”

“You need to make your sister stop hanging out with my sister.”

“What?!”

“She’s a bad influence on her.”

The girl’s mouth was as wide as a saucer, “how dare you—”

“Ever since my sister has been hanging around Monica she’s been trying to wear make-up, she’s sassy, and she talks about boys. She’s 10!!”

“Monica’s only 11! Monica is not sassy, she doesn’t wear make-up, and she doesn’t talk about boys.”

“Are we talking about the same, Monica?”

She just looked at him.

Jason just looked at her.

“You’re an asshole” She snapped.

“And you’re impossible.”

“I’m impossible? You don’t even know me!”

“What’s your name?”

“Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth, you’re impossible.” Jason held up a hand to her and then turned to the side so as not to sneeze on her, “HHUUUTCSXHOO!”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him and hopped off the bench to get as far away from him as possible, “spring is in the air.”

“So is bitchiness!” He called after her. He took a tissue out of his pocket and blew his nose as hard as he could. He climbed on the table top and laid down like Elizabeth had, he figured now was as good a time as any for a nice afternoon nap.

hope yall like it!

SweetP

[Bongo]

I don't think I've ever commented on your fics before, but I love them. And this one is no different. Great start, can't wait to see more of your writing.

Edited March 22, 2008 by symphonyflute

[starpollen]

I love this too - very sassy and smart. I like the unexpected chemistry and acidity between them. I'd love to see this continue. Good work!