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The Loveliest Heart - (5 Parts)


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Title: The Loveliest Heart

Author: Me

Fandom/Original: Original

Disclaimer: I don't -- wait. Kassil and Antheia are mine.

Summary: A cliche.

Author's Notes: If you haven't read The Archmage's Predicament before, go read it now. Okay, you don't have to, but this story may or may not make more sense. Results may vary. Extreme fluff ahead. Please proceed with caution. Of course, it wouldn't be this way if I still had my shovel. (I think we have a running gag here.)

Part One

"Huh... uh... huh-KSHUU!"

Misery.

That is the feeling acquired when you fall ill, confine yourself to your bed, eat nothing but conjured bread for two days, and have your cat bother you until you lock the door.

Never mind that the cat isn't actually a cat.

Along with misery, there is boredom, from staring at the ceiling all day.

Occasionally you stare at the wall, and sometimes the other wall.

Which doesn't make it any more interesting.

Anyhow, I think that's enough about you. Shall we get back to me? Good.

I lay there, accompanied by misery and boredom. They don't make very good company, surprisingly enough.

My nose was starting to run, I thought, and I was far too spent to get a handkerchief for myself. (I know a certain person who would imply that I am lazy. Please don't listen to her. I can't mention her at this moment, as that would be breaking the fourth wall... oh, I've done it again, haven't I?)

I was distracted for a moment, boredom running away as I heard someone trying to turn the doorknob. I briefly wondered if it was Kaestra trying to get in, then decided that it wasn't possible for her to reach a doorknob anyway. I wondered about who it could be until I heard the sound of a key turning in the lock. I knew that only one person had the spare key to my room, and that person was--

"Oh, Kassil, what have you gotten yourself into now?"

--Antheia.

She was wearing a green dress today, her favorite color and the one I'd told her she looked best in because it brought out her eyes.

"Nothing, really," I said, sitting up. "What have you been getting yourself into?"

She laughed, and I smiled.

"You laugh too much," I teased.

She giggled again, and sat down on the bed. "I'll stop laughing if you stop being funny!"

Then I started laughing, and almost immediately began coughing, and the smile on Antheia's face disappeared.

"Kassil, the demon at the door told me you weren't well... it's not making you too miserable, is it?"

I flashed her a playful grin. "It isn't now."

Dissolving into her high-pitched giggling once again, she hid her face in her sleeves.

"I really am glad to see you here," I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Misery and boredom don't make as good company as you do."

"Misery loves company, Kassil. Company includes me and boredom. I thought you'd have known that. I thought you were smart!" I leaned forward to see her face, and sure enough, she was smiling.

In mock indignation, I folded my arms. "I am smart." Then, I very quickly unfolded them, because I felt like I was going to sneeze again, and sneezing on a person isn't something you do when you've just said you're smart.

"Hhuh... hat-SCHUU! ...ergh."

"Do you need--"

"Yes. On the dresser, in a blue box with a silver lid."

She hastily walked over to my dresser, opened the box, and I couldn't see her facial expression from there, but I assume she was looking rather dumbfounded.

"How many of these do you have?"

"That isn't important right now."

"Right," she said, taking a handkerchief from the box and carrying it to me.

I took it from her, blew my nose quietly, then set it on the bedside table in case I would need it later. "Thank you, and to answer your question, I lost count around sixty."

"Oh my."

---

Kassil, you talk about yourself too much.

Far, far too much. And yes, you are lazy.

Questions? Comments? Opinions? Potatoes?

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:laugh:

Hahahahahahaha.

I love you, you know that?

I'm not coherent at the moment. Also busy. So better comments later. But this rocked my pants, and I totally enjoyed the first-person view-point.

Potatoes, you say? Baked? Roasted? Magical ones in kilts with vivid internal lives? I like them best.

Edited by Mistress Quickly
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POTATOES ><~

um, anyway,

yesh I liked it

the fourth wall was probably made of glass (so we can see Kassil through it of course!), silly Kassil breaking it!

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Do love Kassil. Do love the amusement. Rather cute. Though of course I prefer Valeria's subtly caring bantery snark to Antheia and he silly girliness.

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*DRIVE-BY CHEESING*

(you have now been glomped in gouda....er...ok, so it was Velveeta.... :unsure: )

*giggles like a madwoman over the wonderfully, scrumptious, absolutely adorable Kassil*

yus...i do beleive ive fallen in fluff with him and his over-60 hankies... :cryhappy::inlove: and Antheia is soo cute... such a sweetie.... *mutters jealously* :bleh:

No. :nohappy: you cant have the shovel back. no matter how hard you beg, or how much he sneezes... :) (although, im willing to listen while he attempts to persuade me)

and since no kittentissues story would be satisfactorily praised without it:

squeeee

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Oh.

Well then.

It seems my pants have spontaniously burst into flame. Hm.

...

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Kitten you are AMAZING!!!

PUREAWESOMENESSWITHSCALLOPEDPOTATOESANDCHEASELEMONSPLEEE!!!!

Now....I'd better go jump into a lake before theres nothing left of my pants.. :)

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Argh. Argh argh argh. I feel very much like Kassil now. Except that I'm not nearly as bored, and I don't have an Antheia-type person here.

I can't say that I've ever seen a magical, kilt-wearing potato with a vivid internal life, Mistress Quickly... where can I find such a potato?

lalaland, my characters break the fourth wall all the time, except in serious things... it's quite amusing.

You all do know what the fourth wall is, right? (I hate having to explain these things.)

queenie, do love your comment. Do also love Kassil. Amusement? Even I thought this was funny, and I don't laugh at things often. You prefer Valeria? *pokes Val with a stick and gets a rather blank stare in return*

Ah! chui, you... you goo-less Fluffy McGoo! Now I'm covered in cheese, darnit! And I don't want the shovel back. You broke it, remember? No sneezy-Kassil persuasions for you! :sleep2:

Char! Don't... don't kill yourself over supposed awesomeness! I'm not that amazing! *watches the goldfish nibble Char's toes*

Possibly interesting fact: I partially owe my style of writing to a very brilliant fanfiction. I wish it would update, though.

Update comes when I feel up to it... argh, I haven't updated in slightly less than forever. To maybe tide you over, here are some Kassil-and-me scenarios:

Me: Hey, you don't have a middle name yet... can I make your middle name Narcissus?

Kassil: No.

Me: Why not? It suits you.

Kassil: I said no.

Me: Whyyyyyyyy?

Kassil: *throws cheese at me and walks away*

Me: OOH! CHEDDAR!

(I'm not really this whiny in real life. But I do like cheese.)

Kassil: So, in order to properly demonstrate the art of prestidigitation, one must acquire a proper deck of playing cards.

Random Demon: I still don't get it.

Me: You're using too many big words, Kassil.

Random Demon: AAAHHH!! WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?!?!

Me: *hanging from the chandelier* Hi, demon who is nameless because I'm a lazy author.

Kassil: Would you stop using that... stealth ability?

Me: You mean Stealth Hi Bye?

Kassil: Is that what you're calling it now?

Me: *nod*

(Anybody who knows me in real life will tell you that I do do this. Minus the chandelier part. Yes, I do call it Stealth Hi Bye. If you know where that name is from, virtual cookie to you.)

Goodbye for now.

*cough cough sniff cough die clunk*

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*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

you poor poor dear!!! i hope you feel better soon!!!! :D shall i send over a bowl of steaming velveeta for you?

and drat* i was surely hoping for some Kassil persuasion...although...my latest boytoy muse is rather insistant.... anywhoo....how do you feel about rakes? or hoes? i might even have a pitchfork lying about.... :sleep2: ooops... :) who let that in here....

(but i must say im glad to know im not the only one with random demons flitting about my mind :) )

Edited by chui
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The steaming cheese product won't be necessary, chui. I've recovered, which means there shall be an... update! *off-key fanfare*

...wow. I've got to hire some new musicians.

Uh, anyway. Part two, and all that stuff.

(By the way, there's a time gap in between part one and part two. Sorry, I'd meant to post part one as a whole, but there was the paranoia and the me-being-tired and the yada-yada-yada... I may fix it later. For now, you just need to know that at the end of part one, Antheia left, Kassil slept, and part two is the following day. Day two is how I think of it. Part one being day one and blah blah blah. I'm going to just shut up and get to the story now, because none of this is making any sense.)

---

The next morning, (well, actually, it was more around noon, but morning sounds so much better) I awoke to the sound of the birds outside my window.

It was really quite annoying.

I was far too tired to close the window, (again, don't listen to her, I am not lazy) and so I ducked down further into the sheets, hoping to drown out the sound.

I lay there, covered by the blankets, sniffing and feeling rather lonely. Misery, as I said before, does not make good company.

It seemed like an eternity before the sound of a turning key made its way to my ear.

"I don't know if you feel like eating right now, but if you don't want it, I'll eat it myself."

Antheia was standing in the doorway, cradling a small pot. The color of her dress that day was blue, which was her second favorite color.

"I want it," I croaked, cringing inwardly at the sound of my voice. "I'm hungry."

She smiled softly, setting the pot down on my desk and sitting on the bed in almost the exact spot she'd sat in yesterday. "Poor Kassil," she whispered, lightly stroking my hair.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Kaestra giving either me or Antheia a fierce, ghostly-blue glare. Antheia had forgotten to close the door, and Kaestra was upset as a result. (Of course, Kaestra is frequently upset.) Trixiana scooped her up, glanced at me, examined her fingernails with a disappointed sigh, and then nearly slammed the door.

Antheia jumped a little, then relaxed and began playing with my hair again. "Was that the cat?"

"I told you, she's not a cat... and no, not exactly."

"I know, I know," she chuckled, "she's the soul of a fourteen-year-old girl in a cat's body. What did you mean by 'not exactly' anyway?"

"A demon of mine was responsible for the door. I'm sorry if she frightened you."

She withdrew a spoon from her pocket, getting up and walking over to the desk. "It's all right," she said, removing the cover from the pot and carrying it over to me.

I reached for the spoon, and she jerked her arm away, smiling in a way that was almost playful. "Now, Kassil, you shouldn't be wasting your precious energy by trying to feed yourself at a time like this."

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. "You're just being ridiculous now."

"Please?"

"Oh, very well," I said, sitting up straight and sighing a bit. "I'll humor you... just this once."

She gave a tiny squeal and began feeding me the soup. Things were going reasonably well (the soup was quite delicious - far better than magic bread) until a sudden sneeze caught me by surprise.

In the middle of a mouthful of soup.

"HATSCHH!" And the sheets had been nearly soaked.

There was an awkward silence. The kind that no one likes.

Then, Antheia started laughing.

"It's not funny," I groaned, pressing my handkerchief to my nose.

"Yes, it is!" At least, I think that was what she said. It is rather difficult to tell what a person has said when they are attempting to speak and laugh at the same time.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Are we children now?"

"Maybe!"

---

So there we have part two. And now for a teaser for part three, just because I know it's not coming for a long while. Just like everything else I write XD

(of course, now that I've said that, part three will come really fast. Nope, slow now. Wait, fast. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast. (et cetera))

---

Kaestra was glaring at me with her pale blue eyes, storming into the room. "Kassil, I am not happy!" She jumped up on the bed, and if small cats could look intimidating, she certainly was.

---

Cliff Hanger, hanging from a cliff! And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger!

(Sorry. So sorry. I just love some children's television shows.)

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Awww another dose of sweetness and also rather :wub: Kassil-torture :lol:

Loved it, as always. Kassil's demons remind me of the Abhorsen's servants in Sabriel (by Garth Nix), if I remember them rightly, which I probably don't. Have you read those books? They're exceptionally good. There's also a sort of non-cat...

Anyway, thank you for updating! :D

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Antheia should be my favorite... because she's taking very good care of him. But... I dunno. For some reason she isn't. Still, nice work!

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The next morning, (well, actually, it was more around noon, but morning sounds so much better)

omg! this is so totally me every morning!!! er....afternoon....

until a sudden sneeze caught me by surprise.

In the middle of a mouthful of soup.

"HATSCHH!" And the sheets had been nearly soaked.

:cryhappy: i know there's some rule about not laughing at guys you think are totally amazingly hot...but well... i broke it....

absolutely brilliant as always! and you know we'll be falling over ourselves to get to your writing when you get around to it! *sits patiently and innocently waiting*

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Part three comes this way!

And let's just say that every part of this story is one day... part one being day one, et cetera. Blah blah blah. Getting to the story now.

(Although I would like to say that Kassil sleeping is just <3 so cute)

---

I felt worse than I had been. The previous night, I'd been kept awake by a hacking cough, leaving me tired and my throat sore.

I'd actually been writing instead of speaking. It hurt that much.

The door was wide open, but I didn't particularly care then. All I wanted was to lie in bed until I was better, not worry about a door.

Unfortunately, the door was something to be worried about.

Storming into the room, ghostly blue eyes aflame with anger, my cat snarled at me.

Of course, she's not really a cat, but you already knew that.

"Kassil," Kaestra growled, jumping up onto my bed, "I am not happy."

I wrote down You're never happy.

"That's not the point!" she shouted, and I could have sworn I heard the birds panicking outside the window.

Then what is your point?

"My point, master, is that you aren't letting me in here. You should be."

But your presence irritates me and does not allow me to rest.

"That crazy girl doesn't let you sleep, either."

Which one? You, or Trixiana?

Well, I'd really done it, as Kaestra's fur was bristling and she was sounding a lot less human. "Is that what you think, master?!" (Well, it sounded more like meowster, but I didn't point that out. I value my face.)

Yes. And, might I add, if you continue to bother me, I will be unhappy. I know you don't like it when I'm unhappy.

"But--"

No buts.

"If--"

No ifs, either. And don't you dare say 'and.'

She gloomily walked out of the room, looking depressed about the fact that she had bothered her dear master. I decided that later would be a good time to care.

I rolled onto my side, wondering when this would all be over and I would finally be able to teach my demons card tricks.

And then I felt the urge to sneeze.

I felt around for my handkerchief on the bedside table, managing to knock over my inkpot in the process.

I finally found it, and brought it to my nose just in time.

"HEH-SHUU! Huh... huh-ESSH!"

My throat was burning as I sat up and blew my nose, and I wished that I had Antheia's soup.

Like in all the stories, Antheia appeared in the doorway.

I looked up eagerly, and was mildly disappointed when I saw that her arms were empty.

Her expression becoming pity, she closed the door behind her and half-ran to me.

"Oh, Kassil," she murmured, "it makes me so sad to see you like this."

I would have told her that I didn't like it when she was sad, but the inkpot was smashed and my voice wasn't working very well.

She laid her hand on my forehead, pity becoming concern. Then, she wrapped her arms around me, resting her head on my shoulder.

Antheia was warm, or I was cold, either one. It didn't matter.

She pulled away when I sneezed.

"Het-eh-KSHHUU!"

She walked briskly over to my desk, pulled a handkerchief out of the box, and sat back down. Very gently, she wiped my nose with the clean handkerchief. She was unusually silent during the entire time. (Antheia is very talkative.)

She looked at my bookshelf, then back at me. "I could read to you from a book, or..."

I nodded, and pointed to the book on my desk. She went over and picked it up, then handed it to me. "Show me where to start."

I opened the book to chapter three and pointed to the fourth paragraph. She began reading, slowly at first, but as she got more familiar with the book, she could even imitate the character's voices.

"'I've never heard of something like that,' I said, trying not to look too foolish," she read.

After a while, the words stopped making sense and became a blurry haze in my mind, and I remember thinking that I could just reread it.

Sleep was a wonderful thing.

---

So... much... fluff... chui, this is your fault for stealing the shovel...

I'm starting to sneeze like Kassil. o_O Seriously. It's... it's pretty freaky. My sneezes are supposed to be quiet, not a girly version of the archmage's! DX It's so unnatural!!

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VERY cute! I appreciate this relentlessly. Am even warming up to Antheia. *grins* They are very cute, this dynamic. Keep it up!

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:blushing:

MY fault.... ?????

:(

couldnt possibly be MY fault!?!?!?! (even if i did steal the shovel)

oh poor poor yummy Kassil..... :drool: absolutely brilliant!!!

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Whoever's fault it is, I'm loving the fluff! :) I'm a total fluff-o-maniac. Mmmm ah :wub: EEEK! :hyper:

I lay there, covered by the blankets, sniffing and feeling rather lonely.
OooOOoOooOO the master of self-pity! :devil2:

Lovely, really.

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I am still sneezing like Kassil. Holy mouse on a stick. Three so far. (edit: four now.)

I've been digitally painting him. Interestingly enough, most of my layer names have had to do with mice.

I feel like such an evil author for what I have to do when I write about Kassil's life. I will be bawling. This is what happens when you get obsessed with the pairing that can never be. :):):cry:

Hm. I'm not sure about which I like more. Kassil and Antheia or Kassil and Valeria? *shrug*

Anyway.

Yes. Incredibly cute. Cutey cute cute...ness. queenie, you rock.

It is too your fault! Admit it, chui! I'll bring him in to persuade you if you don't!

(speaking of breaking the shovel, did the bunny go away?)

Yes indeed, you shiny bug, he is very self-pitying. (don't try to make him admit that, though) Heck, he walked in to check on what I was writing, and I said, "Don't worry, Kassil, I think I've turned the 'woe is meee' up sufficiently." He wasn't very amused. (And it's chui's fault.)

Part four is coming soon. I've just been thinking too much about the epilogue. >_> And another fic I've been plotting. (Do you like wizards? I do!)

Edited by kittentissues
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We all like wizards!! And I'm still loving this fic - 'tis brilliant. I like the self-pitying thing as well, which is unusual, because normally I don't in guys. But then, it's difficult to write in the first person of the sick character, and not be self-pitying, and still give enough information about being sick. I'm finding that at the moment. Anyway, still lovin' it here!!

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i admitt nothing. *sits back patiently waiting for you to bring him in to convince me*

must i go chase the bunny? i will if i must.... (is not)

epilogue? new fiction? :lmfao: (and yes...i rather love wizards too)

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You had all better like wizards >_>

<3 kastrel! I have managed to make you like this self-pity... now to write a story and not have my friend yell "CLICHE!"

Oh my a new fan yay Quibby

Me: *pushes Kassil in*

Kassil: Isn't this impossible?

Me: How so?

Kassil: You weigh ninety pounds.

Me: And...?

Kassil: You shouldn't be able to push me, because I am trying to resist.

Me: I'm the author. DEAL WITH IT!

Heck yeah I'm writing new fiction. It's Kassil's parents this time. (As, like, teenagers or something.)

There is indeed an epilogue. Epilogue epilogue epilogue.

Antheia falls off a chair in part four, in case you wanted to know that.

And mah new fiction starts with the line "You stole my cold."

Edit: Read the fourth line of my signature if you haven't already! 'Tis cute, funny, and very true.

Edited by kittentissues
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Okay, I think you all have waited long enough. Here's part four, in which Antheia falls off a chair. In case you wanted to know that.

---

The pain in my throat had lessened significantly, to my pleasant surprise when I awoke.

I was also surprised to see Antheia, sitting in a chair, feet up on my desk, reading book one of my favorite series. (Book one of this unnamed series just so happens to be titled Amber, if any of you readers ever get a chance to visit this world. Penelope Ammolite writes excellent books... I'm breaking the fourth wall again, dear gods.)

I watched her read for a little while longer, then cleared my throat to let her know that yes, I was awake.

She jumped out of the chair, startled. Well, she would have jumped, but it's a bit hard to do that when your feet are on a desk. Therefore, she really fell out of the chair onto the floor. The chair went down as well.

I winced a little. Falling on my floor hurt. (Don't ask any of the demons about the salad dressing incident. Just don't. Especially not Trixiana. Her version is all wrong.)

She slowly got up, trying to steady herself against the fallen chair. She dusted herself off, returned the chair to its proper position, and put the book on the desk.

"Good morning... er, afternoon."

"Oh, has it really been that long?" I wondered if Kaestra actually had a practical use, as she seemed to be quite good at waking me up in the mornings.

"Yes."

After a moment's silence, she started talking again. "It really is a good book. The one I read to you yesterday was the ninth, I think. I didn't know what was going on so I wanted to read the first one. That, and I didn't want to wake you. You were sleeping quite peacefully when I walked in." She paused, staring up at the ceiling. "You were also snoring."

Well, I'd never been told that before by anyone. (And, unless Valeria happens to be a liar, I don't usually.) "I was not."

"You were."

"No." I was beginning to recall a previous conversation that had gone something like this.

"Yes."

"Not this again."

"Whyever not?"

"Because... because..." I was going to sneeze again, and I grabbed my handkerchief, not knocking over my inkpot in the process because it was not there. "HEH-KSSHT!" I gave a sharp sniff and sat back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling.

I was considering adding some decoration to the ceiling because it had been quite boring to look at for the past few days.

"So," Antheia said, my train of thought coming to a halt, "how does this author Penelope manage to write so many books?"

"She is another archmage who has transcended mortality. That, and her faithful demon pets give her ideas."

"Well, she's very good at writing. I wasn't expecting the actor's plot to murder Adriana at all."

"You're crazy. You had to have had at least some suspicion."

"No."

"But archmage Penelope intended for readers to figure it out before Adriana."

"How do you know?"

"I have been lucky enough to meet with her on several occasions. She makes very nice pies."

"Pie."

"Yes."

"Now who's the crazy one, Kassil?"

"Still you."

We laughed, and later Antheia recited some of her favorite quotes from the book, which caused us even more laughter. Especially when she read the one about the priest, the sorcerer, the windmill, and that one tree.

---

The End (not really)

There's still an epilogue, so no despairing. Despair is bad. Despair wields the power of fire-- wait, that's in a game.

I don't know anything about the salad dressing incident, so don't ask me. Maybe if I poke Kassil enough, he'll tell us?

I think this one was funnier than The Archmage's Predicament, but only because of Kassil's hilarious narration. One of my favorite lines:

"Occasionally you stare at the wall, and sometimes the other wall."

And, just so that I can go out looking stupid, how do I edit my topic title? :laugh:

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:laugh::D:D:D:D Still brill. I don't know if this is funnier or not - I keep having to not laugh out loud for both of them (I have nosy nearby parents). Especially at the foreshadowed falling off chair moment. I still adore the sneezing beyond belief as well. Anyway...epilogue :blushing:
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Beautiful. Can hardly wait for the epilogue. I dig. You're sort of exceptional, you know that? XD

Edited by queenie
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