"Apples to Apples" Death Note oneshot, Light, M

[dojichick13]

*Glances around forum*

Ooohooo...I sees some other Death Note fics posted in here *rubs hands greedily* must read them....yessss....

What? Oh, sorry...*ahem*

So I've been watching Death Note (I'm only on ep 26) and I'm reeeeally digging Light. (Not the goody-goody-forgot-my-memories-Light, but the hardcore evil-God-wannabe Light. I can't help it, I dig the evil anime men.) So basically I just wanted to torture him with some fluff between he and Ryuuke (Or Ryuke or Ryuk, it's all good) because Ryuuke really has grown on me, even though he still looks like some freaky sex slave guy. Or something. I dunno.

For those of you who don't know what Death Note is, I'll make it simple---Light, an 18 yr-old genius gets his hands on a notebook (conveniently named the Death Note) that will kill people if he writes their names (while picturing their faces in his mind) in it. He calls himself "Kira" and starts using it to kill off criminals that he deems unworthy to live. The Death Note also comes bundled with his very own personal @sshole Shinigami (God of Death), named Ryuuke, who follows him around, basically just to watch and be entertained by Light's actions. Light gets more and more sadistic as the anime goes on, and his original vision becomes more blurred as he gains power. He also starts to be pursued by L, who is the world's best detective. Light doesn't know his real name, so he can't kill him. That's pretty much all you need to know for the sake of my story.

Here's a cool pic of Light and Ryuuke (again, Ryuuke is the blue demon guy):

http://fc71.deviantart.com/fs30/f/2008/101...y_standtall.jpg

Also, just a shout out to any other Death Note fans out there: If ANY of you would write a story where L gets tortured with a cold or allergies or whatever, I will love you forever, because I ABSOLUTELY HATE HATE HATE HIM as a character. I want him to suffer. GRRRRRRRRR what is with those FREAKY EYES of his?!

Ok, sorry, I'm done. HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Enjoy!

___

Ryuuke was bored.

He'd come to this conclusion all at once, while sitting on Light's bed and watching the human take his usual spot at his writing desk. Ryuuke knew what would come next, because it would be the same thing that always came next: Light would reach into the top right desk drawer and take out the Death Note, grab a pen from the little assorted selection in the tin cup, and, with dramatic flourish, start writing criminals' names as if it were his job.

Then Ryuuke would sit and watch, sit and watch, sit and watch, until it was time to go to bed.

True, it was better than sitting in the otherworld and playing five card draw with the other Shinigami for all of eternity, but he couldn't help but think that that for all the fuss that humans made about finding "Kira," they would be rather disappointed to discover just how damned boring he actually was.

"Light," Ryuuke whined. "Pay attention to me."

"No," Light replied evenly. His eyes didn't move from the notebook, nor did his pen cease writing. His head didn't even so much as twitch in Ryuuke's direction, so absorbed in his work was he.

Ryuuke sighed loudly.

It had started out to be such a promising day, too---one that could have been filled with mischief, or so he'd hoped---all thanks to that odd little blonde human female. The one who so flustered Light, what with the way she'd show up out of nowhere and physically attack him with her affection, not caring who might see them or how it might ruin Light's meticulously laid-out plans. Ryuuke loved seeing how Light would have to grit his teeth and be nice to her, because he couldn't risk sparking the wrath of her Shinigami. Ha, ha! A Shinigami in love with a human! Ryuuke was exceedingly amused by that, as well.

And just an hour ago that lovely little human had sprung out of the bushes---yes, the bushes, they'd been walking down the sidewalk and suddenly this blonde thing in a gothic dress had burst out of the shrubbery like a bat out of hell--and grabbed a stunned Light by the arm, pulling him away down the street with cries of "come see!" and "oh my god, they're so CUTE!"

Naturally, Ryuuke had been curious to see what all the fuss was about.

He'd followed them to a street corner not far from where he and Light had been headed originally. And there, in a small cardboard box, had been three of the fluffiest kittens---plus one large and extremely shaggy mama cat---that Ryuuke had ever seen.

...well...not that he'd seen a lot of kittens, what with his being a Shinigami, and all...

"Aren't they CUUUUUUUUTEE?" Misa had squealed. She'd picked one up and shoved it into Light's face, as if he needed a closer look. To fully appreciate the cuuuuuuuuteeness, no doubt.

And Light had stumbled backwards as if he'd been stung.

"Light-kun?" Misa had cried, frowning. "What's wrong?"

"N--nothing," Light had replied. "I just---wasn't expecting that. Yes, they are cute, Misa. Is that all you wanted?"

Misa had immediately brightened up and begun babbling to Light about kitten names or some such nonsense, but Ryuuke had been too immersed in his study of Light's reaction to notice. He'd never seen him react quite that way to anything before---not even when he'd revealed himself and explained the nature of a Shinigami!

What on earth could a kitten possess that was more frightening than a Shinigami?

Ryuuke had been hoping to find out, but Light had spoken quickly to Misa---again---about the dangers of being seen in public. He'd explained that he had to go, right now, and that he would call her later.

Maybe.

"Oh," Misa had cried, her eyes widening with hope. "That would be lovely, if you would call me later, Light-kun!" And she'd reached out and given him a huge hug, with the kitten sandwiched in between them.

Light had looked like he'd wanted nothing more than to strangle her, but he'd been forced to put his arms around her and pat her back.

Rem, her Shinigami, had been watching the whole thing closely, after all.

Then they'd continued on their way, leaving Misa to play with the kittens and Rem to look on with a curiously tender expression on her demonic face.

Ryuuke sighed again. Yes, he'd hoped that the kitten incident would turn into something more, yet here he was, sitting on the bed, watching Light scribble names in the notebook.

Just as he'd done yesterday.

And the day before that.

Sulkily, he turned his eyes to Light and studied him as he worked. He had a tight-lipped expression on his face as he concentrated. He always wrote to the edge of the notebook, always perfectly straight. And there was never so much as a smear or a smudge when he was finished.

The human was so damned perfect it was disgusting.

Ryuuke was just about to give up on his inspection of Light and turn his gaze to the ever-interesting ceiling when something...strange happened.

Well, perhaps not strange. But certainly different.

Light had paused. His writing had ceased.

Ryuuke tilted his head in surprise. What was this, now? The human seemed to be focusing on something far in the distance. At least, his eyes seemed to be taking on a strange look. And he was inhaling sharply, as if to gather breath---

Suddenly, Light lunged forward, his empty hand fisting and pressing beneath his nose. His eyes squeezed shut and his shoulders shook, briefly, but no sound was heard, not even by Ryuuke's sharp Shinigami ears.

Then he exhaled softly, and resumed his writing as if nothing had happened.

Ryuuke was mesmerized.

"Light?" He asked in a tone of amazement, "What was that?"

"I sneezed." Light sniffled sharply and continued writing. "Now leave me alone, Ryuuke. I'm busy."

"You...sneezed?" Ryuuke repeated. Oh, ho! Now here was something interesting!

"Yes," Light replied, his tone indicating his annoyance.

It was obvious to Ryuuke that Light wanted him to drop the subject immediately; but he was not to be deterred.

"What is this...sneezing...for?"

Light sniffled again, louder this time. "It's to get rid of an irritation," he said. "Surely you Shinigami have a way to do that, as well."

Ryuuke smirked. "Sure we do. We write a name in the Death Note."

"Very funny," Light muttered. He continued writing diligently in the notebook. "You know that that isn't what I meant, of course. The irritation isn't human, it's---"

And here he paused again. Ryuuke's Shinigami eyes immediately darkened with interest.

"...it's---" Light stuttered, his fist once again raising to his nose. "...hh---!"

Again, he lunged forward, mouth firmly closed, and winced into the sneeze. As with the first, there was no sound. But Ryuuke could sense more of a desperation in his exhale this time around, as if he had really struggled with containing it.

And of course, Ryuuke was growing more and more intrigued by the minute.

"You were saying?" He questioned as Light raised a finger and rubbed at his nose. Oh, what fun this was!

"...it's usually caused by an animal's dander, or pollen, or something close to that," Light finished lowly. "A miniscule particle of some sort, something that irritates you enough to make you sneeze."

"Oh, how very interesting," Ryuuke purred. "And I wonder which of those things could be causing this 'sneezing' of yours, hmm?"

Light was was writing names down again, and to Ryuuke's amazement he found he was actually enjoying watching him. Things had taken such a deliciously unexpected turn...

"None of the above," Light replied calmly. "Sometimes you just sneeze because your body wants you to. It doesn't mean it's a result of anything."

A keen sense of regret, much like a sword point, pierced Ryuuke's heart. "Oh," he said.

A sly smile crept onto Light's face. "So sorry to disappoint you, Ryuuke."

"Yeah, right," Ryuuke muttered. Still, he watched Light closely. Perhaps the human was mistaken; after all, that last 'sneeze' of his had been quite powerful. Something that would cause that much 'irritation' was surely not so easily defeated, and most definitely not in the way that Light went about it. That strange silent contortion of his...what a delightfully odd human trait!

But Light seemed to be perfectly normal again. He was writing diligently in the Death Note, so diligently that he wasn't paying any damned attention to his Shinigami at all.

Ryuuke wished he knew how to cause that 'irritation'. He appreciated something that could capture the human's attention that fully, and better yet, force him to obey. But it seemed as if Light was finished. What a shame.

Ryuuke had rather liked the sneezing, after all...

"Maybe I'll go and help myself to an apple," he grumbled. Apples, of course, were his one true addiction. A sneeze was a sneeze, but an apple---ohhhh yes, that was bliss!

He was just turning to go when he heard it. That sharp intake of air, that desperate gasp of breath.

Light was about to sneeze again.

Delighted, he whipped his head around and focused his eyes---those priceless, flawless, Shinigami eyes---to gaze in awe at the splendid scene before him.

Light was leaning back in his chair, staring at the overhead light as if it would give him the answer to a very complicated question. He had pinched his nose this time, and his expression flickered wildly between release and frustration.

"Hh---" he gasped, and then his head bobbed forward, his fingers tightening on his nose as he completed the sneeze. "hhh---gkt!!"

Ryuuke's eyes widened with surprise.

"Light," he spoke as if impressed, "you made a sound that time."

Now annoyed as well as irritated, Light cast a sharp glance at Ryuuke. "What?" He demanded.

"Your sneeze," Ryuuke said slyly. "It made a sound. The first two didn't."

"That's very interesting, Ryuuke." Light sniffled thickly and wiped at his nose. "But I don't particularly care." He again grabbed at his pen and resumed working. "I have to get these names completed, or L will notice a lapse in Kira's work. I can't have that."

"But you keep on sneezing," Ryuuke pointed out innocently. "Why do you keep doing that?"

Light sighed. "It must have been the cats," he muttered under his breath. "I tried to keep away from them, but that damned Mi...Misaah----heh'kgxt!"

He didn't have to time to cover his nose, nor even to pinch his nostrils. Instead, he was forced to turn his head and sneeze forcefully into the air, his face contorting with the effort. Ryuuke noted with interest that his lips remained closed the entire time; even without the aid of his hand, he'd managed to contain his sneeze by sheer willpower alone.

"The cats?" Ryuuke repeated. Of course, he'd heard exactly what Light had said. "Ohhh, was that why you shied away from them so severely?" He snickered. "I was wondering why you didn't think they were "soooo cuuuuuuuteee!"

"...uhhh..*SNIFF!*...shut up, Ryuuke." Light snarled. He rubbed his head miserably and grabbed a tissue off of his nightstand. "I'm allergic to cats, but usually I have a reaction right away. This delay is--is---" He pressed his nose into the tissue he clutched. "--huh'gkt!--unfortunate to say the least." His eyes shuttered tightly. "Kghxht!"

"Why so?" Ryuuke questioned. He was enjoying hearing him speak almost as much as he was enjoying the sneezes. The odd, stuffy sound to his voice was quite musical to the Shinigami's ears.

"Because I can't do adythig about it dow," Light sniffled.

Ryuuke was amused to see that he'd once again started writing the criminal's names in the notebook with his right hand. But now his left hand was also occupied: it was pressing the sodden tissue to his nose, in a useless effort to ward off any future sneezes.

"What do you mean, 'can't do anything about it'?"

"I cadn't go and get any---waid a biddit, I have to blow my nose----" Light crushed the tissue against his nose and, to Ryuuke's ears at least, made a strangely appealing sound. It was not quite as satisfying as his sneezing, but it was close. Then he tossed the abused tissue away and, with an alarmingly liquid sniffle, grabbed another from the nightstand. "I can't go and get allergy medicine from a store without raising suspicion from one of L's watchmen," he said, wiping his reddening nose with the fresh tissue. "They'd wonder what the hell I needed it for. Then they'd do a medical--Hk'-NxGt!-uhh---records search to see what I'm allergic to, and if they tracked down the kittens---they'd find Misa---" His eyes fluttered shut. "---hep'KGkkkt!...uughh...---not to mention I'd have to stop writing the criminals' names down while I went to the store, and that lapse alone would give L more than enough reason to have me arrested."

"That sounds very unsatisfying," Ryuuke said seriously.

"Yes," Light agreed, and rubbed at his increasingly itchy eyes. "It his highly unsatisfying to be balked and...ah---ih'kkGXt!---inconvenienced in this way." He sniffled fiercely. "The God of a new world shouldn't have to put up with such---trifles."

"No," Ryuuke said with a smirk. "That is not what I meant. I meant that your sneezing sounds very unsatisfying."

Light narrowed his eyes at him, and Ryuuke noted how red and watery they had become. Much like a Shinigami's eyes, he thought with glee. Well---minus the watery irritation, of course.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Light demanded, though it came out more like, "Whad is thad subbosed to bead?"

Ryuuke shrugged. "I merely find it strange that you insist on sneezing in a manner that doesn't allow the irritation to be expelled from your system. From the look of it, it only causes you to sneeze more."

He grinned then, so widely that Light could see all of his disturbingly sharp teeth.

"Not that I mind," he added sweetly. "I rather enjoy your bizarre facial expressions when you sneeze that way."

Light glared at him. "I don't like to call undue attention to myself," he said defensively. "I'd prefer to c---c--k'NKgxt'uhh!---control my sneezing."

Ryuuke eyed his sharp-clawed fingers with a lazy smile. "Actually, it sounds as if your sneezing is controlling you, Light."

"Isn't there an apple downstairs that you have to go eat?" Light snapped.

The mention of his favorite treat brought a wistful look to Ryuuke's face. "Oooh, yess...why, I almost forgot about it, what with all the excitement here..."

Light blew his nose again, then grabbed at the box on the nightstand. He glared at Ryuuke from over a fresh tissue. "Please, don't let me keep you."

Ryuuke grinned. "Oh, Light. You look sooooo cuuuuuteee when you look at me that way."

Delighted with the fury that burned in Light's watering eyes, Ryuuke stood and casually walked towards the door.

Slowly.

He wanted to see if Light could go without sneezing until he was downstairs. Hell, he wanted to see if Light could go without sneezing until he'd reached the door.

"..hhh-hekgxt!--"

Nope.

"---KTCHhhs! ETCHhhh! Ha-ETCSCH!!"

And oh-ho, what was this? Not one, not two, but three sneezes had escaped Light's control. Well, well. How very interesting.

Ryuuke turned back around with a smile.

It looked as if that apple could wait awhile, after all.

___

Fin

[lalaland~]

I love that game lol (Apples to Apples)

Ryuuk is hilarious XD in this fic, I love it!

Keep going, I like it!

[FairyDust]

I love Death Note!!!!!!!! pleasepleasepleaseplease keep going it's really good.

[Jemmabean]

I'm not into males, but I hear you on hating L. He's as much of a twisted little bastard as Light is, easily, but he rides this high horse and so many people think he's like the ultimate good guy or something.

Good story, you should continue it!

[RandomNumber]

hehe, that's great

[Mitsu]

awwww...and you leave it right when its gettn really good! plz plz plz add more!!!

i absolutely LOVE the idea of light sneezing...

[a red nine]

I love this story.

I really, really love this story. It's completely in character, well-written, everything spelled correctly... Honestly, I can pinpoint nothing wrong with it. Outstanding work.

[Spider Sneezes]

Oh, this is FANTASTIC!

I seem to be the minority on this thread, but I much prefer L to Light. However, that doesn't mean I didn't love every second word of that story! It was so perfectly in character. Please keep going!

[The Rescue]

Wow! I've never even read death note and I love this! Nice work. Keep it upp.

[Icelily Hale]

I Love Light Yagami but maybe you should add Misa sneezing as well?

[Dye]

This is amazing - I've been going to the second page almost every day just to read this, but I didn't want to seem like a pain, bringing it back from the dead. But now that It's /kind of/ alive again, I can post.

This

Is

AMAZING!

There is so much potential for this!

omgcontinueplz.

[DemonMolly]

Seeing as you're offering... may I have a allergic L fanfic? Pwease?

Also, great job with the writing! I could TOTALLY imagine this happening in the anime

[doggo]

How nice that this got bumped! I keep loving this fic. *purrs*

[mrs_pheles]

OMG sneezing light Ive died and gone to heaven! You are wonderful for writing this Please continue!!!

[Sawyer]

I read this when it was first published, but was for some reason too shy to comment. Anyway, this is hot. Like, really hot. The way Light tries to control the sneezes but they end up controlling him, and Ryuuke's curiosity and Light having to explain everything... just like, the way Light shows that he regards sneezing as something totally normal, I guess, that's hot to me haha. And when he got all congested and kept blowing his nose, ohmygod, so sexy. And just the idea of him not being able to do anything about it, like go to the store to pick up some antihistamines... I like that as well. The best part was probably the end, though, when a few of them finally escaped. Goddd... so hot!!

reason for edit: I can't type when I'm excited like this.

Edited May 29, 2011 by Sen Beret

[PaperThings]

Okay, I am so happy this was bumped, because I literally saw the first episode two hours ago. This fic was delightful, and makes me even more anxious to see the rest of the show... I am already a bit in love with Light, and this certainly added to that. Really well done!

[Zane]

I love this! thanks so much for writing it! Light suffering from a cat allergy? :wub: soooo cute! you should so continue if you can/want too.

[Akahana]

My reaction... CLICKIES!!!

[Lady Blessington]

I've never seen Death Note but that was so cute and so hot. I love the one character's blatant and unapologetic fascination/delight with the other's sneezing. And with apples, LOL.

[reflect]

oo

[Sneezyflowergal]

God of a new world, same old allergies 

[Yumestar]

*hugging my Ryuk plush while reading this* Never thought Ryuk would be interested in Light's sneezes, but it really fits! It's a well-written story and I love your description! Keep up the good work! 

[lawlight]

I keep reading this even though its been months since I’ve first read it! This was literally 14 years ago…Anyways,I put my display name when I was a lawlight shipper,but now I like Light with Misa more (not necessarily as a ship),so I found it really funny to see Light cursing Misa and saying her name right before sneezing was kinda hot for some reason! Haha! I wish there were more of those two…

[Kolen]

Just gonna bump this up because its amazing

[NYXIE]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! This was so cute! I love how Ryuk is is so teasing lol