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For Those About To Sneeze (We Salute You)


Giant Steps

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In chronological order i.e male first:

About a year ago I had the life altering experience of seeing AC/DC live. I was going with a friend and his cousin who had foolishly suggested we get there nice and early to ensure a half decent view and increase the possibility of Angus sweating on us. Even more foolishly, I agreed, and we (and us alone!) were outside for about 1 o’clock. This left a lot of time to kill. <_< To pass the time we resorted to mind numbing activities such as eye spy and “let’s walk to the chip shop one at a time to get our lunch separately so that it takes longer”. The wait was dragged out further by the scorching temperatures and heavy, stagnant air more common to Mediterranean regions rather than bonnie Scotland. To top it all off, there was no shade and we were left at the sun’s mercy. :blushsad:

I lost track of time, but at one point I was sitting on the ground with my back against the wall; my arms resting on my knees when a tickle crept up on me: “HET-CHAAAAHH”, I sneezed down, towards my nether regions and then again directly after out to my right where no one was sitting “HEEEESSHHHHHAAAAAAAHHH”. A double! Hooray!! :clapping: Probably about the dozenth time in my whole life! And what was more unusual was that my nose still felt irritable. To satisfy my curiosity I took a deep breath in through my nose, looking up to the sky to see if I could coax out another. Sure enough, after my first breath I took another, involuntary one and sneezed for a third time. “HEEEEESSSHHHHHHHH-UHHHH”, with a deep sigh afterwards. That felt good! I can’t remember the last time I sneezed 3 times in one day before! When I could still feel a tickle 20 seconds later I began to get uncomfortable, especially since I was just asked what I thought the set list would look like tonight. I attempted to avoid the question: “I don’t…..ahhhhh……….I....URRSHHHHH-UHHHH…I dunno.” I looked away, trying to hide my embarrassment. :blushing: My nose was congested now - not helped by the hot, heavy weather – and I couldn’t calm that damn tickle!! I tried rubbing my nose with the back of my wrist and managed to fight it off for another couple of seconds but I looked up at just the wrong time and the bright light threw the tickle into overdrive. I barely had time to bring my hand up to cover my face before “HEEESHHHHHOOOOO”. When I knew I was going to sneeze another double I pinched my nose shut with my thumb and forefinger “HEEEE-mmmtt-UGH”. This was getting really awkward now; I couldn’t stop! I got up and moved as casually and unashamedly as I could towards the bathroom - not helped by my limping walk thanks to the lower half of my body being unresponsive because I had been sitting down for so long and my retarded pre-sneeze face. I got to the doorway before I stopped and had to let another one out, trying to avoid giving someone a nasty shock as they left the bathroom in true “Everybody Loves Raymond” style. “EEEEHSSHHHHHAAHHHH”. I got in to find the place deserted. Thank god! I practically ran over to the sink and braced myself for the coming onslaught. ;) I placed my hands at either side of the sink and stood hunched over as I sneezed again. “EEEETT-CHUUUHHH” What the hell was going on? This was a month’s worth of sneezes in one sitting! I wouldn’t be complaining if I wasn’t in such a public place but I just felt so exposed. :unsure: I hoped against hope that no one would walk in and find me here. Fortunately, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway as I sneezed once more into the sink then used pretty much an entire toilet roll to blow my nose and I was done! I washed my face and left, mentally ticking the “Have a sneezing fit” box on my list of things to do before I die.

And now for the female:

Flash-forward 5 hours and we’re inside at last, hooray! :doublethumbsup: No cause for a celebration unfortunately, as it was actually even hotter in here because everyone was so closely packed together. :thumbsdown: Now, I hate clichés as much as every other self respecting teenager but this was quite literally like one huge sardine can – smell and all! Still, the person standing next to me was lovely and we had a good wee chat so it wasn’t all bad. She was pretty small (about my shoulder height) and chubby but not fat, y’know? Pleasantly uhh….round. :lol: She had straight black hair and wore a black shirt and jeans. Her nose was large and pointed and she had a couple of freckles on her face.

It was between the two support bands where things started to get interesting. I didn’t notice the build up as I wasn’t paying attention at the time but I felt a jolt and saw her catch a soft, partially stifled “ETT-CHOOO” into her hand. It was very cute: girly but not excessively so with emphasis on the “ETTT” and a more relaxed release; a high pitched “chooo” without being plain annoying. Her boyfriend, who had his arms around her waist didn’t bless her and I never had the chance either before she sneezed again “EETT-chaaahh”. This was totally hot. Because we were so close her body rubbed against mine as she tensed with every sneeze. I had never really felt someone sneeze before and it was awesome! :twisted: I felt her body rise again and she took in another breath; “HEEETT-(she shuddered with the sneeze)-chooo” and then relaxed. I couldn’t see her face because she turned away from me every time but even if I could, there’s no way I could watch without her getting a little uncomfortable. :hyp: This situation repeated itself every 30 seconds or so, her sneezes never changing volume or intensity but each time I couldn’t help get a little more excited, and it didn’t look like she was ever going to stop! :drool: When the next support band came on she was still sneezing!! I couldn’t hear anything at this point but I still felt her every convulsion. Which was nice, since the band was shit.

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;) Terrific stuff! Sorry you didn't get a chance to properly enjoy your (really hot) sneezing fit, but I enjoyed hearing about it all the same. :thumbsdown:

Your female obs was pretty awesome as well. Hope to see more obs from you!

Edited by sneezedreamer
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I went to Perth, Western Australia, to see them last March. I don't recall anything sneezy being in the mix that trip including the upmarket Thai girl I visited before going to the venue.

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Wooow, nice :yes: Both obs :laugh: I would LOVE to be in a cramped space (concert, train, whatever) with someone attractive helplessly sneezing right next to me. Jealous! :laugh: You wrote this fantastically as well by the way, it was very enjoyable to read :omg:

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I was at ozzfest back in 2002 and had the pleasure of watching the girl I was with experience a huge allergy attack from incense that was just about everywhere!!!....Best concert experience to date!!

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Thanks for all the positive feedback!

Yes, it was a nice change. The gigs I usually attend have audiences consisting of ageing, fattening, hairy men so I was very pleased to have avoided any unwanted sneeziness from them. :P

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OMG. I wish I had an experience like yours (the self-obs). Or...I would like to have been there to witness it. :P

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