Disappearing fetish?

[Helter Skelter]

Okay. As I've gotten older I've realised I'm not sexually attracted to men, only women. Or to be honest I've "known" since I was much younger but didn't feel like I could admit it even to myself (usual high school suckery + growing up in a pretty conservative and homophobic COUNTRY= fun fun fun.)

HOWEVER when my fetish was strong it was definitely for male sneezes. In fact female sneezing tended to irritate if not actually repulse me. Interestingly I was never turned on by a guy's actual body or anything, only if he sneezed. Though I think that's the technical definition of a fetish, isn't it?

Anyway after coming to better terms with my sexual orientation (or in other words I'm not such a closet case anymore) I've noticed that:

a) Male sneezing is beginning to have the same effect on me as female sneezing used to- most of the time it disgusts me.

I don't find female sneezing annoying anymore, although it's still not often an actual turn-on, which brings me to:

c) The fetish in general seems very very very weak these days. I would even go so far as to say it's almost gone. I read fics and stuff I used to LOVE and I just can't understand why I ever found them so hot. I also used to be a major cold whore but now I can't fathom what I found so attractive about a contagious illness. I just want the person to go far, far away from me. Reading cold-fics grosses me out for the most part. As I mentioned there was a period of time where I could only get turned on by sneezing/colds. That's not the case these days at all. I couldn't pinpoint exactly when it happened but it definitely has.

So to sum up, such a drastic change is pretty strange and disconcerting. Anyone ever experienced anything like this? Thoughts?

[murphy dee]

I think a lot of us go through phases where we get really into the fetish and then get burnt out on it for a while. I peaked in '03/'04 and then pretty much all but forgot I had the fetish until '07/'08 when I rediscovered it. And then I rediscovered it AGAIN just last month.

So I say don't fret. It's perfectly fine that it's not a major interest of yours right now. Maybe you'll get it back later!

[Vetinari]

I don't have experience of this but I wonder whether the fetish used to be such a major driver almost because you were in denial about something very important to you. You wanted to be attracted to men, the only thing that attracted you was their sneezing so there would be pressure to concentrate on that because that was what you were trying to tell yourself was what you wanted.

Now there are other serious distractions and other things that are turning you on .... and you are allowing them to do it. Add to that the fact that you were perhaps almost pressuring yourself into liking the male sneezes and now you don't feel you have to. It would hardly be surprising if suddenly the fetish became less attractive. I know that for years it was pretty unimportant to me because I just didn't have a whole load of room for it among the other things in my life and it didn't really fit in. I always liked female sneezing despite being straight. Now I enjoy it alongside the other things, just because it gives me pleasure. I have the time for it and because there is no guilt or pressure I can accept that I like female sneezing without worrying about my sexual orientation.

[Wishing]

Agree very much with Murphy here...I think a lot of us on the forum find that there are times in our lives where the fetish is very strong and really important and we can't do without it, etc, and at other times it just 'subsides' for a while (as my partner would put it) and fades into the background, especially when other things in life take over or become more important. I have been through this myself more than once...during my first marriage (which lasted 10 years) my fetish all but disappeared. Not that I knew it WAS a fetish at that point, just that I had a thing about sneezing and always had done. I couldn't stand my ex-husband's sneezes, they drove me up the wall, which I think had a lot to do with my going off it, and in the later years of my marriage, as a stay at home mother, I didn't get out much and so rarely saw anyone else who sneezed (except family members or my kids, which for very obvious reasons is not sexy at all!). The only sneezing I got off on during those years was my own (I'm lucky enough to be a fairly sneezy person and to be one of those few who get turned on by their own). It wasn't until meeting my current partner that I really rediscovered the side of myself that actually liked another person's sneezing, and eventually found this forum and discovered that I wasn't alone . Even since then, I have gone through periods where the fetish has been much stronger at some times than at others....just recently it's been through a 'quiet' phase as I've had a lot of other stuff going on in my life, but it's stepped up a few gears over the last week or so and is quite strong again at the moment.

So I too would say it's pretty normal and nothing to worry or stress over. It simply sounds as if it's taken a back seat for you since you've come to terms more with your sexuality...which may be a good thing in a way as it means you're now more focused on being turned on by a potential partner rather than only being able to feel turned on by sneezing/colds, like you were before. You may find you re-discover the fetish in time, but you might also find that if you do, you're better able to find a healthy balance between being turned on by another person and by certain aspects of the fetish, if that makes any sense .

ETA: Agree also with Vet's post (though I didn't see it until after I posted mine, lol), she made some pretty good points there too

Edited March 2, 2011 by Wishing

[KassiePure]

I like what Wishing and Vetinari said, because both had points I could agree with. Like Wishing, I am very attracted to my own sneezes, which kinda makes me sound a little conceited... but like her, I was incarcerated (mainly because of irresponsibility) and only could see my own. Of course, I had the internet (YouTube) as an outlet, but the best sneezes there, are only the ones you can find. When I was 16, the only female sneezer on there was Glassheart5, so there wasn't much of a selection!

Like you, HelterSkelter, it was around that time that I started coming to terms with my own sexuality. When I was younger, there was a time I was attracted to boys like every other girl I knew. As I grew older, I never kicked that "boys are yucky" mindset and preferred the companionship of other girls. Since I spent so much time with my own gender, I started to become attracted to my own friends. It was extremely difficult to approach them with such matters, because as they matured along with me, they were growing more interested in men at school and their relationships... I became so scared what they'd think about me, that I avoided seeing them just to evade the chance that I might be tempted to ask them something I'd regret.

It wasn't until I turned 18 or 19 and was going in college that I started to avert more of my attention toward the fetish, after so long of simply not thinking about it. There was never a time that a certain aspect repulsed me (men sneezing would have, anyway XD), but sneezing in general just wasn't too attractive anymore. I couldn't see the "variety" that I used to. I wasn't able to tell differences in pitch, or identify whose sneeze I heard. I think it was mainly because I was depressed -- I didn't think it would matter because I doubted so heavily that I'd ever find someone who was like me.

I'm not saying that's what I think is the reason your pleasure derived from sternutation has decreased, though! That's just how I felt back then, but how I came out of it, was the relationship I'm in now.

[guynextdoor]

In my case the fetish kind of changed. There are weak days when sneezing does nothing to me but mostly days where i can't wait to see or hear a sneeze.

[sneezytwilight]

I wouldn't worry. This happened to me about a year ago. I went 8 months without updating my youtube because I was not interested in it anymore. It hit me again around december and it has been stronger than it was before. I do realize that when I upload too many around the same time or lesten to too many at one time I become less interested the next day.

I would say either your fetish for sneezing went away or is just going in to hibernation so to speak.

[emerald]

So to sum up, such a drastic change is pretty strange and disconcerting. Anyone ever experienced anything like this? Thoughts?

This has happened to me before, too. I've found that my fetish waxes and wanes, as does my libido in general. It has never failed to come back; in fact, right now both libido and fetish are positively RAGING so that I can hardly think about anything else.

In your case, Helter Skelter, I imagine you're so busy processing your freshly acknowledged sexual orientation, and that's got to be fairly all-consuming. Oh, and I should also add that my interest in male and female sneezing has swung back and forth like a pendulum; I've never had any interest in having sex with women, even though female sneezes drive me absolutely WILD. But right now, I'm particularly...ahem, susceptible? to male sneezes. I have no idea what causes the pendulum to swing in one direction or another, but it seems to be unrelated to my sexual orientation.

Congratulations on emerging from the closet! xoxo

[Skiffy]

Okay. As I've gotten older I've realised I'm not sexually attracted to men, only women. Or to be honest I've "known" since I was much younger but didn't feel like I could admit it even to myself (usual high school suckery + growing up in a pretty conservative and homophobic COUNTRY= fun fun fun.)

HOWEVER when my fetish was strong it was definitely for male sneezes.

I'm kinda going through the opposite thing here. I've been confused about about my sexuality for a few years. I'm not a very sexual person so find it hard to distinguish between admiration and attraction. Since discovering I had this fetish, I've realised that I find women and their sneezes more attractive than men and have been gradually coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably bi (leaning more towards the gay side).

Was I wrong? Can sexual orientation and fetish be distinct from each other?