Painting

[Natto]

Hello everyone! This is the first original fic that I've posted on this site. Don't worry, I will be updating A Real Duelist, but I just wanted to get this out there. It's about a guy named Colin going out on a first date with a girl he likes...unfortunately, he's catching a rather bad cold. He spends their date trying to pretend that he isn't sick. Anyway, please let me know what you think!

~`~`~

Just my fucking luck. Four days ago, a walking painting asked me out. Okay, maybe not painting. That's probably not the best metaphor. She's an art student, if she heard that you were comparing her to a painting just because she's beautiful when real art doesn't have to be beautiful, sometimes it just has to be powerful and she told you that and you know that, she'd be pissed. But she's beautiful. And she's smart, too, much smarter than me. One hell of a lot smarter, because apparently, I'm none too bright. If I were bright, I wouldn't have spent a whole night playing pinball in the student center with my cold-ridden friend Holly Andersen. If I were bright, I wouldn't have stayed up all the next night writing a paper I'd put off until the next minute, and I would have eaten something other than a bag of M&Ms and some stale pretzels for dinner. If I were bright, I wouldn't be out on a date with Jody Liu,

We're at an art museum, staring at paintings I'd normally have something to say about. Maybe not something brilliant, but I'd at least have an opinion. I don't like abstract art unless you count Jackson Pollack, and I know that Jody hates it. We could be having a gleefully malicious conversation about how it clearly took ten seconds to fling a blotch of paint onto a canvas, but instead Jody is talking to herself. I want to say something, but my throat aches and I don't think my voice is going to come out right. I don't want her to know that I'm sick. She'll want to terminate the date immediately, and I doubt I'll get another chance. Jody Liu can, after all, do better than me. I'm nothing special, just a useless boy with an undeclared major, a C average, and hardly the artistic talent required to draw a stick figure. Jody doesn't like germs, and she doesn't like people with germs. I don't want to get her sick, but if I can successfully hide this cold, she might not pin it on me when she catches it. Besides, it's not like hanging out with me guarantees that she'll catch it? Right.

"What do you think of this piece?" she asks, gesturing toward a painting of a lighthouse. I'm a little stunned. I hadn't realized we'd walked out of the abstract art section. I keep myself from sniffling, and tell her in the clearest voice I can that I like it. It's pretty. It's a lighthouse. I can't think of anything else to say. "It's by Edward Hopper," she says, flipping one of her thick black braids behind her back. "I always find his work so inspiring, don't you? I love how he takes such simple images and imbues them with such life." I don't answer. I don't find his work inspiring because I don't know who he is. I want to know who he is because I want Jody to like me, but right now I'm focused on trying not to sneeze. The inside of my nose is prickling and burning, my eyes are fluttering shut, and my breath is beginning to hitch. I can't let this happen, but I don't know what to do. I end up turning away from Jody and clamping my nose shut with my fingertips. This results in a squashed sneeze, which leaves me with a runny nose, but at least she didn't notice.

So far, it's just a sore throat. My sinuses are bothering me, but they aren't completely clogged, and I'm not pouring snot like a spigot. I'll be okay as long as it doesn't get any worse. If I drink some water, I won't sound like a frog. I tell Jody that I'm going to look for a water fountain, and she follows me toward the bathroom, asking me which exhibit I'd like to see next. "How about the Greek art?" I say. This is the first thing I thought of. My head is beginning to pound, and I can't force my brain to come up with anything more creative. Anyway the Greek art is interesting. Statues are inspiring, statues are beautiful, even if they're mostly focused on tiny penises. I seem to remember that Jody likes Greek statues.

We find a water fountain, and I bend down to take a sip. Unfortunately, the water is freezing. This hurts my throat, and it also makes my nose itch. I stifle a sneeze,"hnnxxch," and end up hitting my front tooth against the faucet. This makes me groan, and it makes Jody laugh. "You okay, Colin?" she giggles, skinny fingers fanning over her rosebud mouth.

"Just fine," I say, fighting the urge to sniffle. That sneeze produced a lot of mucus, and it's nearly impossible to keep it all in my nose without a sniff or two. People do sniffle when they aren't sick, so I risk it. Unfortunately, my sinuses choose this moment to seal themselves shut, and my sniffle sounds like a clogged sink. Jody cocks an eyebrow at this, but she doesn't say a word. This is good, but my increasingly apparent stuffy nose is not. You see, my nose doesn't like feeling congested. When it does, it mounts the only defense that it has—constant, obnoxious sneezing fits in a futile attempt to unclog. This is what I was afraid of, and if the furious burn brewing in my face is any indication, this is what's about to happen.

And it does. My torso snaps in half like a string bean, and I take a massive, gulping breath. Flaring my nostrils accomplishes nothing, and neither does rubbing my nose. The burn gets worse, and my breath is hitching loudly, my eyes are tearing with the effort not to sneeze. Jody furrows her brow at me, and try as I might, I can't hold it back any longer. "ISHHHOO! HICHIEW! Hahhh...hakschoo! Ihh...ahh...hhaa-ahh...HASHHOO! Chiii...hiiipppshhhiew! Hahhh...nnnn...hachoo! Oh god."

"Bless you," says Jody, uncertainty creeping into her voice. "That was quite a lot of sneezing. Allergies?"

I'm not allergic to anything except for bee venom, and bee venom makes me swell up like a motherfucker, but it doesn't make me sneeze. Still, I tell Jody that I must be allergic to something in the museum. "Maybe dust?" I say.

"If you're allergic to dust, you should probably be keeping your dorm room cleaner, don't you think?" laughs Jody, adjusting the strap on her black messenger bag. I gape at her. How does she know what my room looks like? She's never been there, has she? I've certainly never invited her in. Lord knows I've wanted to, but this is only the first date, and we haven't been friends all that long, and anyway most of our interactions before this have taken place during art class or in the dining hall. She picks up on this, and tells me that she used to date my roommate, David. "It didn't work out in the end. He got really serious about it and started talking about how I needed to convert to Judaism before he could introduce me to his parents. And of course my parents would have synchronized heart attacks if I ever did convert, but he didn't care about that, or about the fact that I'm an atheist." Jody shrugs, then stretches with her fingers laced in front of her. "So, it didn't work, and I've moved on, but I do know him, and I know he keeps his room a wreck. I've been there since you two moved in together, so I know that hasn't changed."

I want to ask her more about her relationship with David. How long did it last, how serious was it, did they ever have sex, does a small chunk of her heart still love him? I want to ask her all these things, but I can't. She'd hate me for prying, and anyway, I don't trust my voice to sound normal. She thinks I have allergies and that will excuse a little stuffiness, but I don't want her getting suspicious. Anyway my throat hurts and I don't feel like talking, and I'm worried that if I try, I'll cough or sneeze.

I cough anyway. I try to hold it in, but my throat spasms out of my control. "Maybe we should head to the Greek statues," Jody says, wrinkling her brow in sympathy. "Hopefully it won't be as dusty there as it is by the fountains." I'm hoping that the statues will be dusty. I'm hoping that they'll be coated in layers and layers of grime.

They aren't. Of course, the museum has workers paid to clean the damn things every day. They're so clean that they're nearly sparkling. I could claim that I'm allergic to something else, or that my reaction is lingering, but I don't want to invent a bunch of allergies that don't exist, if I do that then Jody will expect the same reaction every time. Besides that, I feel awful about lying to her. Suppose I spend all this time with her, spewing cold germs all over her air, and she comes down with it later? That would make me an asshole, and if she does find out I'm sick and lying about it, she'll hate me.

The Greek statues are beautiful and Jody is even more so, but I stare at my sneakers instead. I want desperately to blow my nose, and I have an excuse to now, but I wasn't expecting to get sick and I don't have any tissues, and anyway I still feel odd about calling attention to my symptoms. My sinuses are buzzing, I'm breathing through my mouth, and I can feel thick, sticky mucus filling up my nose. Trying to keep myself from sneezing feels like trying to keep my nose from ejecting a brick. My body wants the brick out, so despite my efforts I end up sneezing again, this time while standing dangerously close to a classical statue. "Hyiiishhooo! Kashhhiew! Hachhoo! Hapchh! Chh!" Five sneezes and my sinuses are still burning, I can barely answer Jody when she asks if I'm okay. "J-just, just f...iihhh...fine...I...hhhnnn...must just be allergic to...hhhkkchh! Hachhoo! Hashhoo! HYACHHOO! KASHAAIEW! CHOO! Something in the roo...hichh! Room." Once finished I sniffle hard, against my will. It's good that I do, because those last few sneezes were as wet as rain. I'm having to sniffle almost constantly just to keep the mucus from dribbling down my face. The efforts make me sneeze again, and by this point, I just want to go home.

Jody suggests that we leave the museum all together. "You seemed fine when we were outside before, so I doubt you're allergic to pollen as well. Why don't we take a walk in the park?" I tell Jody that it's fine and that I want her to enjoy the museum, but she says that she can't, not with me sounding so miserable. "I love the park," she chirps. "It's a beautiful day. I can always come back to the museum myself some other time, or you can come with me after you've taken some antihistamines. Now, let's go!" With that, she takes my germy hand and drags me out the door, me sniffling pathetically the whole time.

~`~`~

This is the worst cold I have ever had, and this is the worst possible time to be catching it. When I open my mouth to talk to Jody, I sneeze. When I try in vain to take a breath through my nose, I sneeze. When I suffer through a five-minute coughing fit, I sneeze. I sneeze when I blink, I sneeze when I sniffle, and I sneeze when I think about how I want to stop sneezing. When I'm not sneezing, I'm constantly feeling the need for it. My nose is a hissing kettle, and I can't figure out how to turn down the flame. Jody asks me if I think there's anything I'm allergic to outdoors, and I don't know what to say or whether I can say it without sneezing. "Oh Colin, you sound awful," she says, grabbing my hand in sympathy. My heart would be leaping right now if I didn't feel so sick. She says, "you must feel awful, too. I hate it when I can't stop sneezing. Last week I had this horrible cold, I was sneezing my way through a box of tissues every day. That was why I missed Wednesday's art class, because I was curled up in bed dripping snot all over my pillow." She giggles, knuckle brushing against her bottom lip. "Wow, I am making myself sound so attractive."

"N-no, no, it's fine," I say, wiping my nose on the back of my hand. I don't want to do this, but I haven't been able to blow my nose yet, and it's running profusely. I tell Jody that I'm sorry she was sick, and that I'm sure it didn't make her any less attractive. Fuck. I hadn't actually meant to call her attractive, not yet. It's only our first date, I don't want to intimidate her. Jody doesn't seem intimidated. I suppose I look pitiful enough to counteract that. I cough harshly into my elbow, and think about whether or not I should go home. I feel awful, but I don't want our date to end. "J-Jody, I, um, hachhiew! Hakshoo! Ugh, I'm sorry. Look, I really should go home. My uh, my allergies are getting a little out of...huchoo! Control."

"I understand," she says, patting me on the shoulder. Her neon green nails clack together on my army jacket, and she smiles warmly at me. "I'll see you some other time when you're feeling better, okay? Oh, but Colin?" She tilts her head slightly, and bats her eyes. I respond with a soaking wet sniffle, and then I ask her what she wants to tell me. "You should stay away from Holly Andersen," she says. "I ended up giving her that cold I had last week, and she's still sick as a dog. You don't want to catch a cold on top of all those allergies."

After that, Jody walks away, black braids bouncing against her shoulder blades.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Natto

[Sawyer]

Oh my god! This was so good! So he did have Jody's cold, then. Colin is so sweet! The way you wrote out his thoughts is so captivating. Like, I didn't feel the need to skim ANY of it. You're really good at writing first person! The situation was adorable too. I love the thought of a boy having a cold on a date and trying to hide it from the girl and failing, with the girl ending up being super sweet about it. It's just so lovely. And! The art museum and the park. That's awesome! So romantic. Definitely my idea of an awesome date. This was so awesome to read! I really really liked it.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Awww, poor Colin. Such a cute story! Thank you so much for sharing.

[Ciuty80]

i really liked that!!!!!

thank you for this oneshot!!!

adorable, sweet, cute...awwww!!!

[sneezytwilight]

OMG!! That is amazing!! They are so cute together! Jody doesn't even seen bothered with all of her sneezyness. I wish I could have a day around a sneezy person like that!

[Butch]

Natto - LOVED this! Fantastic. And cute. I'm not familiar with your other story that you mentioned.

[Anonymouse]

Aw this is adorable! Poor Colin, he already had so many reasons to feel insecure around Jody even without the cold. I'm glad she didn't get grossed out by him or anything though. She even left the museum she thought he was allergic to so she could still hang out with him. Cute little twist at the end too!

I'm an art history minor and this made me laugh. So true.

Statues are inspiring, statues are beautiful, even if they're mostly focused on tiny penises.

[LovelyLinda]

Awww this is soooo sweet!

Thank you so much for writing it

Poor Colin, but he's adorable all denying his cold,

and saying it was allergies and *squeaaaal*

It's lovely! Wonderful. Awesome.

I don't have any more words *___*

Thank you <3

[Natto]

@ LovelyLinda - Thank you so much, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I'm glad you thought it was cute. I'm surprised I was able to pull cute off, as it's not normally one of my strong suits!

@ AnonyMouse - Yeah, a first date with a pretty girl is stressful enough without disease interfering. Jody might have gotten grossed out if it were a cold, I think...her issue is contagion, not snot. But this is her cold to start with, so she couldn't really say much. XD;; Anyway I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I'm not an art major myself, but I've taken a few art classes and I've been to plenty of art museums, so I figured I could write at least this much. Thanks for your comment!

@ Mims - Thanks for your comment, I'm glad you like it. The other story is this (http://www.sneezefetishforum.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=40487&hl=) and it's a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic which has been going on for a few chapters. A few people have been following along, so I wanted to reassure them that I wasn't abandoning the story, that's all!

@ Sigrith - Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it.

@ sneezytwilight - I know, right? Tis the stuff of fantasies. Unforunately, the only person I've met who sneezes that much also has asthma, which is triggered by her allergies, the same things that make her sneeze. I can't really enjoy her sneezing when I'm worried she's going to stop breathing and die! Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for your comment!

@ Ciuty80 - Thank you very much, I'm so happy that you liked it.

@ Sen Beret - Ahh, I love this comment! Thank you so much. I'm surprised that writing in first person worked out so well--I normally don't do that because I feel like I'm not all that skilled at it, so I'm really glad this worked out for you, and that you didn't find Colin's inner monologue boring. And yeah, I suppose their date was a pretty nice one. I guess the typical date is dinner and a movie, but I thought that college kids would be more likely to do something cheaper. Anyway, thank you very much for your comment!

[peachypeach]

What a wonderful story!!

[blush]

Awww, this is just adorable! I've read a lot of "dates with colds" scenarios, but the internal thoughts and the details of how much he's suffering really set yours apart. I like this.

[macrotwentytwo]

nice

[Alex Hemmings]

niiiiice

 

[macrotwentytwo]

3 hours ago, Alex Hemmings said:

niiiiice

 

We seem to love the same kind of things!  Know of anything I haven't found yet?

[annabanana13245]

Really enjoyed this!