Sexuality and Sneezing

[Jorm]

A few threads seem to have popped up lately around the subject of how various people's sexual orientation lines up with their fetish; There was the thread in OT about why so many straight women seem to prefer m/m pairings in fetish writing and art, and I've seen at least two recent topics here in general discussion raising concerns or curiosity about why they are attracted to the sneezes of a particular gender when they aren't attracted to that gender outside of the fetish. And, well it seemed like something that might be interesting to discuss as a broader question of how sexual orientation and "normal" attraction does or doesn't parallel our fetish attractions. And what it means if they don't line up. I've been leaning more and more towards the thought that one's general sexual orientation and their fetish(s) are really much more distinct and unrelated than would be assumed based on both being sexual. It seems to be fairly common for people here to identify themselves as being strictly either straight or gay and yet find that their attraction to sneezing doesn't fall into that same box, or at least not very neatly. I.E. Men who are very much straight in all other aspects of their life, but find they are either equally or perhaps even more attracted to other men sneezing than to women sneezing, etc.

I guess I'm just really interested to know how other people here view the relationship between their sexual orientation and what gender(s) they prefer to hear/see sneeze. Do your sneezing preferences contradict your sexual orientation? Do you find that to be a problem, or concerning in any way if they do contradict each other? Or even if it doesn't bother you, how to explain the difference?

Personally I suppose it's pretty much a non-issue for me given that I'm essentially bisexual and couldn't give a rat's arse what bits someone's got between their legs or what gender they identify as. But there's no question that I'm definitely more attracted to masculinity than femininity, I find the female body just as attractive as the male, and I am just as happy to date a woman as a man, but the woman I'm more picky about women and generally only find myself attracted to women who are quite boyish at least in personality, somewhat less so in regards to appearance. And that seems to line up fairly nicely with my fetish for sneezing. I mostly find male material more appealing than female material, but the right female wav, or story, or art, or whatever can "do it" for me just as much as any male material, I'm once again, just pickier when it comes to female sneezing as I am with relationships with women in general.

[Skiffy]

I don't think of my fetish as separate from my sexuality, I think of it as an important part. But, like you Ouroboros, I consider myself bisexual so there's nothing conflicting going on if my fetish and my non-fetish attractions don't line up perfectly. A few years ago, my attractions to people tended to be mostly romantic rather than sexual. I was very confused about my sexuality. Then I realised I had the fetish. Now that I know what really turns me on, it's become clearer that I am mostly attracted to woman. So yay for sneezing fetish.

[polychrome]

I think of myself as a straight female, but for .wavs and videos I generally prefer female sneezes. I've speculated before that it's because I find myself more often surprised and startled by loud, forceful sneezes from male contributors. Women's sneezes are more approachable. However, my husband's sneezes are my all time favorites and I enjoy many male sneezes "live". For art, I prefer men, but find some of VoOs and Nova's ladies totally hot. For stories I could go either way, but my favorites involve straight couples passing the fun from one to the other. I also highly prefer rated G than anything explicitly sexual.

[Vetinari]

I guess I'm just really interested to know how other people here view the relationship between their sexual orientation and what gender(s) they prefer to hear/see sneeze. Do your sneezing preferences contradict your sexual orientation? Do you find that to be a problem, or concerning in any way if they do contradict each other? Or even if it doesn't bother you, how to explain the difference?

I guess I define my sexuality around the sexual act itself and around relationships. I have never desired any kind of sexual relationship with a girl (though I have wondered with interest what it would be like).

I almost see my fetish as being separate from sexuality, although obviously the stimulus of a sneeze does cause arousal. I don't really associate the sexual act itself with sneezing, though where I go in my head when the sexual act is being performed is another thing altogether. I guess, given a different set of circumstances, I might learn to associate the two. I can remember, many years ago being told by a long married woman that during sex she would fantasise about certain actors .... and in my naivete I was shocked because I had assumed that if you were having sex, the only thing in your head should be the sexual partner currently on top of you (or wherever). I'm no longer that naive and where I go in my head doesn't give me any cause for concern, BUT if I imagine girls, I imagine them sneezing. I have interest purely in the sneeze, and no interest in the girls themselves whatsoever. I guess, in sexual terms it could be said to be mildly inconvenient ... but then again it's no disaster either and it works perfectly well for me.

[Chanel_no5]

I'm a hardcore lesbian, and I only like female sneezing, so I have no confusion about my sexuality and the fetish. It's a good thing to feel absolutely sure about yourself, whether you're straight but fetish-bi, or completely straight, or bi but fetish-straight, or... any of it. But I'd advice anyone who's concerned about these things: enjoy what you enjoy.

[kate]

I think of myself as a straight female, but for .wavs and videos I generally prefer female sneezes. I've speculated before that it's because I find myself more often surprised and startled by loud, forceful sneezes from male contributors. Women's sneezes are more approachable.

I am also a straight female who generally prefers female sneezing, and have had the same theory.

I have also wondered if maybe I don't like mixing "regular" sexual attraction with this fetish...for instance, I prefer thinking about a rather average person sneezing, rather than someone who is really knock-out attractive. The idea of a really attractive man sneezing usually seems like "too much" to me (though there are exceptions on this).

[LeapYearKisses]

This is an interesting topic.

I consider myself to be a straight woman, but I have, on occasion, wondered what dating a girl would be like.

I like male sneezes in concept much better than female sneezes, but the sound of female sneezes does it for me more than male sneezes. I think this is because they usually sound gentler and less loud. Though there are some male sneezes I like to hear, when I listen to wavs it's almost exclusively female. I've noticed that this trend appears when I indulge my other kinks, as well. Sometimes, it just works better with female material. I've theorized that this is because it's easier for me to relate to how a female in a fetishy situation would feel.

As to how all of this affects my relationships... Given that I've yet to have one, I couldn't say. XD Right now, I haven't experienced any disconnect from it, so I'm content to accept my preferences as they are.

[VoOs]

I like male sneezes in concept much better than female sneezes, but the sound of female sneezes does it for me more than male sneezes.

I consider myself bisexual, leaning more towards women, but this is exactly how it is for me too. The concept of a man sneezing (in fiction, art, movies etc.) is usually much, much sexier to me than the concept of a woman doing it, but when it comes to actually hearing people sneeze, I often prefer female material. However, I'm not sure if this is because of an actual sexual preference, or if women just are better at making wavs. in general. *laugh* God knows they are more generous, at least...

But anyway. I like to think that the whole "concept of sneezing"-part of my fetish has a lot to do with cultural and social gender norms. My sadistic feminist brain just can't resist the thought of an otherwise strong, powerful, in-control man showing vulnerability and succumbing to a sneeze, whereas my body simply is too horny greedy to be picky about genders. X)

[Jorm]

Seems like for quite a few their gender based attraction to sneezing at least in terms of listening to wavs and things has to do purely with the sound. I've found that to be true for me as well, only going in the opposite direction of what most of the rest of you said. I find the deeper, harsher sound of male sneezes more attractive than the generally softer and higher pitched ones of a female.

I'm a hardcore lesbian, and I only like female sneezing, so I have no confusion about my sexuality and the fetish. It's a good thing to feel absolutely sure about yourself, whether you're straight but fetish-bi, or completely straight, or bi but fetish-straight, or... any of it. But I'd advice anyone who's concerned about these things: enjoy what you enjoy.

Hear hear! There's far too much shame in the world around attraction.

I've theorized that this is because it's easier for me to relate to how a female in a fetishy situation would feel.

I've theorized pretty much the same thing about the reason I prefer male material, that it's easier for me to relate to what's going on in the story/art/etc. Glad I'm not the only one!

But anyway. I like to think that the whole "concept of sneezing"-part of my fetish has a lot to do with cultural and social gender norms. My sadistic feminist brain just can't resist the thought of an otherwise strong, powerful, in-control man showing vulnerability and succumbing to a sneeze, whereas my body simply is too horny greedy to be picky about genders. X)

That's really interesting, I've always loved the same concept of a powerful, always in-control man, showing vulnerability and weakness, but I never really thought to connect it to feminism. Very interesting indeed! Melikes the way you think.

[LovelyLinda]

I'm pretty much the same as Ouroboros, I guess

I'm bisexual, little more attracted to males than females, though.

And it's the same with the fetish.

I think it's soo sweet to take care of a sick girl, also kinda sexy,

but I prefer male sneezes, but can enjoy a good female sneeze, too

So I think my sexuality and my fetish are going hand in hand since I've got the same preferences.

Interesting topic!! I'd love to know your preferences

[Shay]

Well I personally find this fetish to be deeply routed in my sexuality to the point where it's usually very hard for me to get turned on by "normal stuff". There have been a few cases where other things have turned me on that I suppose could be considered fetishy in nature, but they don't work anywhere near the level that sneezing does.

As far as my actual sexual orientation goes, I'd say I'm 98% sure that I'm completely straight. While I certainly appreciate the beauty of the female form, to me it's the same as appreciating a beautiful piece of artwork. I've never had any desire to be in a relationship with a woman, but of course I could never really say completely for sure that I wouldn't find one fulfilling if I've never tried it. My sneezing preferences do diverge from sexual orientation though because I do really enjoy sneezing from both males and females when reading fics even though given the choice I would always choose male. I guess at least for me, this fetish is just about the sneezes and I'm usually not too picky about which body the sneezes are coming from, so long as I like the sound of them.

[blush]

Well I personally find this fetish to be deeply routed in my sexuality to the point where it's usually very hard for me to get turned on by "normal stuff". There have been a few cases where other things have turned me on that I suppose could be considered fetishy in nature, but they don't work anywhere near the level that sneezing does.

Ditto! This actually worries me some. I never was concerned about it before I was in a relationship, because I assumed it was because I had just never experienced the other things that are supposed to turn you on. Now though, my boyfriend has interrogated me (curiously, not meanly) about what feels good and I'm never sure. Maybe I realized and obliged the fetish from too early an age so now I'm conditioned to think of it as the only arousing stimulus?

As far as my actual sexual orientation goes, I'd say I'm 98% sure that I'm completely straight. While I certainly appreciate the beauty of the female form, to me it's the same as appreciating a beautiful piece of artwork. I've never had any desire to be in a relationship with a woman, but of course I could never really say completely for sure that I wouldn't find one fulfilling if I've never tried it.

Ditto again. The only time I've wondered if I wasn't 100% straight is when I've realized that I would prefer to sculpt the female body. But that's just because it's more interesting I guess. Anyway, I really only like male sneezing, which aligns with my sexuality, so I'm boring.

[Shay]

Maybe I realized and obliged the fetish from too early an age so now I'm conditioned to think of it as the only arousing stimulus?

Yeah I think that's why it's so strong for me as well. I can remember getting turned on by sneezing from a very young age (7 maybe?) long before I even understood what those feelings meant. I think that when associations like that are made at such a young age, it can be extremely hard to rewire yourself to respond differently and sometimes I do wish I could respond like that to some more normal stimulus in addition to the sneezing.

[Skiffy]

Well I personally find this fetish to be deeply routed in my sexuality to the point where it's usually very hard for me to get turned on by "normal stuff". There have been a few cases where other things have turned me on that I suppose could be considered fetishy in nature, but they don't work anywhere near the level that sneezing does.

Ditto! This actually worries me some. I never was concerned about it before I was in a relationship, because I assumed it was because I had just never experienced the other things that are supposed to turn you on. Now though, my boyfriend has interrogated me (curiously, not meanly) about what feels good and I'm never sure. Maybe I realized and obliged the fetish from too early an age so now I'm conditioned to think of it as the only arousing stimulus?

I feel the same way but have always thought of it from a more positive perspective. Before I discovered this, I thought I was some sort of asexual freak who would never find any significant physical enjoyment and arousal in anything. Now I know I'm not an asexual freak, I'm a weird and kinky freak who most definitely can find physical enjoyment and arousal, it just happens to come from an unusual source. Personally, I'm a lot happier with that.

[The Mute Poet]

Now though, my boyfriend has interrogated me (curiously, not meanly) about what feels good and I'm never sure. Maybe I realized and obliged the fetish from too early an age so now I'm conditioned to think of it as the only arousing stimulus?

I obviously don't know your specific case well enough to know if this applies or not, but I do want to add something here. Alot of the girls I know very well (including the three I've dated) have never been able to give a really specific answer to this either. Sometimes the best I could get was a real-time "that!", but even then, being able to specifically pinpoint things like this seems to be common for alot of the non-fetishist girls I've come across in real life. Again, it's entirely possible that your case could be something more than that, but you're definitely not completely abnormal in being unsure about this aspect - the female body is just an endearingl, ridiculously complicated thing.

Edited April 13, 2011 by The Mute Poet

[lifelove1]

Well I personally find this fetish to be deeply routed in my sexuality to the point where it's usually very hard for me to get turned on by "normal stuff". There have been a few cases where other things have turned me on that I suppose could be considered fetishy in nature, but they don't work anywhere near the level that sneezing does.

Ditto! This actually worries me some. I never was concerned about it before I was in a relationship, because I assumed it was because I had just never experienced the other things that are supposed to turn you on. Now though, my boyfriend has interrogated me (curiously, not meanly) about what feels good and I'm never sure. Maybe I realized and obliged the fetish from too early an age so now I'm conditioned to think of it as the only arousing stimulus?

I feel the same way but have always thought of it from a more positive perspective. Before I discovered this, I thought I was some sort of asexual freak who would never find any significant physical enjoyment and arousal in anything. Now I know I'm not an asexual freak, I'm a weird and kinky freak who most definitely can find physical enjoyment and arousal, it just happens to come from an unusual source. Personally, I'm a lot happier with that.

I'm so relieved to know I'm not the only person who feels this way! I can only remember one or two instances when I've been turned on by something other than sneezing, and like some of you, I have had the fetish from a very early age (I can remember being fascinated by sneezing even in preschool, so age 3 or 4!) Consequently I've never really been able to have a "normal" sexual interaction. I've always faked it when fooling around with partners (I feel like I pretty much have NO desire to do anything sexual because any scenario that would turn me on would have to involve sneezing, and it's generally too humiliating for me to think of asking someone to sneeze for me.) It's kind of weird, because I did tell my current boyfriend about the fetish, and he seemed cool with it at the time, but we never really acted on it and now it hasn't come up for maybe two years. (And as a result, we have very minimal sexual interaction, which makes me feel guilty because I really wish I did have an interest in it!)

On the other hand, I really do love watching sneeze videos and reading stories and obs (of both sexes--probably female more often than male, though I enjoy both.) I love my boyfriend's sneezes as well...I just can't bring myself to comment on it! Perhaps it's because I have had the fetish for so long and always kept it secret, but it just seems like such a solitary indulgence. I have a hard time thinking about sexual interactions with any other person because it's always been such a secret, personal, solitary thing for me.

ScotGirl, I'm curious as to how you were able to come to that realization, and whether you had to work on it or whether it was just sort of a spontaneous epiphany? At any rate, it means a lot to hear from other people who are in the same boat. I love how open and supportive this community is

[Skiffy]

ScotGirl, I'm curious as to how you were able to come to that realization, and whether you had to work on it or whether it was just sort of a spontaneous epiphany? At any rate, it means a lot to hear from other people who are in the same boat. I love how open and supportive this community is

I'm not entirely sure, it was just part of growing and getting to know myself with my new post-pubescent brain. I had kind of a slow realisation and acceptance that the weird thing sneezes had always done to me was actually sexual, not just some other strange physiological response as I had previously thought. I started taking more notice of how much I enjoyed seeing characters on TV or in games sneezing and questioning where that interest came from. Eventually I gathered up enough awareness of my strange thoughts to go looking for videos on youtube of women sneezing. Everything made a lot more sense after that.

Also, I love the open supportiveness here too