Just told my friend...

[Talon Winchester]

I'm really beginning to wonder about this girl. I told my friend last night, and I told her how big a part of my life this was and guess what? After I told her about it, we talked about it for all of thirty seconds, and then she changed the subject to herself! She basically blew off a big part of my life! I don't know what I'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. My other friend would have had a bigger reaction. I really kind of want to get my friend back for blowing off my huge secret like she did. I know revenge isn't really the right thing to do, but she seems to do stuff like that more and more. It's annoying!

[murphy dee]

That's kind of an odd reaction. "Oh cool, okay, now back to me!" Usually folks are either disgusted or various levels of interested. I mean, it's a pretty rare fetish after all. If a friend came to me and said she had a fetish for...I dunno, bee stings, I'd be pretty darn interested and probably want to ask a question or two.

[Skiffy]

Have you tried looking for less self-involved friends?

[Raining Strawberry]

Aw, I'm sorry that your friend wasn't interested. I agree with Murphy D-- I'd imagine that most people would have a stronger reaction, or at least would be neutral, but not neutral in a rude way like that. My guess is that she's seriously clueless if she missed the this-is-a-big-part-of-my-life thing, plus there's a chance that she has absolutely no idea what a fetish is. I'm not sure that I did when I was 14. (Am guessing that your friend is your age?)

At any rate, given how much your fetish means to you, I would seek out a friend to talk to who you know would value the fact that you're sharing such an important secret. Even if they don't get it, a real friend will react differently when they know that this really matters to you. And hopefully this other friend will forget about it, so you don't have to worry about her anymore!

Anyway, *hugs* I admire the fact that you were able to tell someone about it, even if it didn't go as planned. Just take it as a lesson and grow stronger.

[sillystarsmoons]

Aww I'm sorry you're friend wasn't interested. I hope you have better luck next time.

[ILoveTheSound]

It really stinks when your friends aren't there for you. I'm sorry! But the fact that you're "beginning to wonder" says you're questioning your friendship. Tell her how you feel. If she's a good friend, she'll realize she upset you and make things right. If you feel she's worth keeping as a friend, that is. Don't sweep it under the rug. And good luck...let us know how it goes!

[March Hare]

Maybe we're all a lot less weird than we keep thinking!

No, but seriously, that thing that she got back to, was it something that was really weighing on her? Something like a huge problem she just couldn't get off her mind? Or, maybe she just didn't know what else to say. Some people aren't good at expressing their interest. You could also interpret her reaction as easy acceptance of this being also a part of you. Obviously she wasn't freaked out, at least. Surely that is a good thing?

Revenge really doesn't sound like a good idea. If she's doing it out of unattentiveness instead of lack of real interest in you as a friend, then you hurt her feelings for nothing. If she is hurting yours with her behaviour, it's much better to just tell her so and ask if she can at least try to show a bit more interest in things you've made clear are big deals for you.

[Honkytonklagoon]

Have you tried looking for less self-involved friends?

I love this comment. I think it sums up what everyone is saying: This friend is more to be relied upon for finding herself interesting and worth talking about. Sorry your bombshell turned into a dud.

[Talon Winchester]

Thanks for the support everyone! I think we're still going to be friends, just not as close as we were. As for what she went back to, she was talking about her love life and how "no boys like her" and how I'm "well liked". Well guess what? Yesterday, the day after she told me this she got her SECOND boyfriend. Guess how many I have had? 0, 0, and 0. She says SO many boys like me. They only pay attention to me because either I'm in their band, or we've been lifelong friends. I'm hated by alot of people at school for getting A's and protesting stuff I don't like about the school. So, the other day I was in the library, taking a school survey, writing an essay about freedom of expression, while her new boyfriend, a guy she has apparently liked for weeks now without telling me, asks her out. I told her a huge secret about my life and she didn't tell me about a guy she liked? And get this: My Grandma was in the hospital yesterday AND I didn't get any sleep AND my parents had a HUGE fight in which they yelled at me for not eating fish. How would you like it if there was a hook in your mouth? So anyways, my friend didn't care. Wow. Sorry. I've been rambling again haven't I? Wow. Sorry.

[nolongeractive]

I know when my sister told me about her fetish(before she knew I had mine), I was really embarrassed at first and didn't ask anything about it. It was also because I had the fetish, but was too scared to mention it. Now, I'm not saying that your friend has it, that's probably not the case, but you never really know what a person's reasoning is. She could also just be downplaying it because she thinks it might be hard for you to say and she doesn't want to make a big deal out of it to make you uncomfortable. Understandably, it might also be uncomfortable for her. People outside of the fetish don't really have a full understanding of how we want them to react, they're just going about it to the best of their ability. Now, we didn't specifically see your friend's reaction, so I'm just offering some insight. Maybe she did blow you off a bit, and if she did, I'm sorry about that. I know it can be a really sensitive subject. I'm glad from what you say that you're moving on alright! You were brave enough to tell her, so it's good that you're keeping positive.