Metalocalypse fic

[kilala]

This fic is based off the episode "Dethdad", but of course I changed it around alot. I'm still working on my other story, it's just turned into a novel, so I'm trying to figure out what to do with it. Hope you enjoy, especially my fellow Dethklok fans

It was just like any other day at the MordHaus. Pickles was drunk and bored, and had joined Nathan in throwing lit fireworks at Murderface, who was screaming at the angrily and almost indistinguishably. Pickles laughed and staggered backwards, tripping over a lamp cord, and seemed to have blacked out. Murderface threated Nathan some more then the two of them began listening in on Toki and Skwisgaar, who were having the same argument as always; Toki wanting to play a solo at their next gig.

"Toki I've tolds you, you cannots play my solo, I am gooders at guitars than yous." Skwisgaar was feeling quite irritated with the younger guitarist, who never seemed to stop following him around and trying to be just like him. He was like an annoying little ki who wouln't stop asking questions, an he could never be anything like Skwisgaar. Toki was about to reply, quite angrily from the looks of it, but then his dethphone began ringing persistently. He answered with a hello in english, but then began to speak rapidly in Norwegian. The band members didn't bother listening, they couldnt understand any of it anyway, but when Toki let out a small gasp, their heads shot up and stared in his direction. He spoke again, his face stonic, his voice sounding weary. He then hung up the phone, abruptly turned his back to them, and walked through the wide door that led to his room. They heard his footsteps echo off the walls for a moment, then a door open and close forcefully, then complete silence.

"Hey, something must be wrong, something bad must have happened."

"Wells at least now he will leaves me alone." Skwisgaar said nonchanantly and returned to his guitar. Murderface joined him, Nathan however went to Toki's door and knocked on it softly.

"Hey Toki, uhh you ok?" he got no reply for a second, then a voice spoke from behind the door, but it wasn't Toki's.

"Mister Wartooth does not wish to be bothered right now, thank you." The voice had clearly been recorded and Toki had probably simply pressed a button to make it speak. If it had been any other band member, Nathan would have given up, but Toki had always been somewhat like a child, always seeming to need to be watched over, and Nathan had always felt compelled to look after him. He knew none of the other bandmates would care to help him, so he went to find Charles. The manager was always patient and understanding with the boys, and Toki always seemed to look up to him and listen to him. Nathan knocked on the door of his office.

"Hey Charles? It's Nathan, I need to talk to you."

"Alright come in then." Nathan stepped into the large luxurious office to find Charles sitting at his desk, buried behind a stack of papers as usual. Noticing the anxious look on Nathan's face, Charles immediately began thinking the worst.

"What's happened, is everything all right?" Charles said these words calmly, he was quite good at keeping his head in any situation, he had to be.

"Um Toki got a phone call and now he locked himself in his room and won't talk to anyone. I think something's wrong." Can you go check on him?"

Yes I will, but I'm not gonna force him to talk. If he wants to be alone then that's ok." Nathan walked with Charles to his door and they stopped outside.

"Hey Toki? It's me, Charles. Can I come in?" There was silence for a moment, then Toki's voice called weakly from behind the door.

"Yes, comes in." With that, Nathan went back to the living room as Charles closed the door quietly behind him. Pickles was still passed out drunk, Skwisgaar was quietly playing to himself on the couch, and Murderface was nowhere to be seen. Nathan sat in the chair near Pickles' head and Skwisgaar didn't even look up. However, a few moments later, Charles walked in the room accompanied by Toki, who looked pale and distant. charles then spoke, and Toki didn't flinch, he just stared fixedly at the wall.

"Toki got a phone call earlier from his mother and it appears his father is dying of cancer. He is taking some time off to go to Norway and say good-bye." Charles lowered his voice on the off chance Toki was listening, "I think it would be nice if you boys went with him, he could use the support." Skwisgaar rolled his eyes at this, but Nathan said "Alright, we will go" and Skwisgaar didn't protest.

"We have a jet waiting for you then, whenever you are ready." Charles patted Toki on the shoulder then left the room. Nathan stood and bent slightly so he could look into Toki's eyes, who still didn't move.

"Toki, uh, you ready to go?" Toki nodded his head once and lowered his eyes. Skwisgaar spoke loudly and impatiently.

"Well lets goes then and gets this overs with." He strode from the room and went to pack some things. Nathan woke pickles up and told him, and he went to pack as well. Within half an hour they were all on the jet and on their way to Norway. As they got closer Toki, who had been silent thus far, perked up slightly and began telling them of all the things there was to see in his home country. He seemed a bit excited to show them around, and they were all very careful to say what he wanted to hear as not to upset him. They arrived and Toki began to show them around the small, snow covered town he grew up in so fast they couldn't take anything in. They had a feeling Toki was avoiding the real reason they came. Just like a child, thinking if he pretends nothing is wrong then their won't be. Finally, after nearly an hour, Nathan spoke up.

"Hey um, Toki? We really should get going to see your dad, shouldn't we?" Toki froze and seemed hesitant to answer. Seeing this, Pickles placed his hands on Toki'shoulders, his green eyes boring into Toki's baby blue.

"Look Toki, if you don't see yer dad, yeh'll regret it. And we're all here with you, and avoiding this isn't gonna make it go awat, but we got yer back. So lets go, ok?" Tears filled Toki's eyes and he nodded one small nod, and pointed them to his old house, which turned out to be no more than a small cottage, and they set out. Nathan pulled up to the door and Toki seemed extremely nervous, hesitant to even get out, much less go inside the house.

"Go on Toki, you have to do it, we'll be out here waitin." Pickles urged him. Slowly, he climbed out of his seat, walked to the door, and after a few deep shaky breaths, he opened it and stepped inside. His father had been so far gone doctors could do nothing for him, and he chose to die peacefully in his home, surrounded by his loved ones. He was extremely pale and thin and seemed to only have minutes left. Toki rushed to his side, and though the memories of his childhood, being hit and banished to what he always called the dungeon, popped into his head, he could not feel any anger towards the man, but rather he regretted the distance he had put between the two of them over the years.

"Toki, you came...I'm so glad." The mans voice was barely a whisper, and it seemed to be draining what little strength he had left to speak "I'm so sorry about everything I put you through, can you forgive me?"

"Yes fathers, I forgives you, I loves you." That was all Toki could manage to choke out before he was overcome by his tears.

"I love you too son, you be good and don't forget me." with that, the man let out one last tired sounding breath, then closed his eyes slowly and slipped away. Toki bolted from the room at once, not really sure what to do or how to feel. He burst from the cottage and ran past his bandmates and into the forest he used to spend so much time in as a child. It brought back a flood of even more memories of his father, and he feel to the ground in a heap, sobbing and shivering miserably in the thick snow. The sun had set now, and it was freezing, but he couldn't find it in him to get up. Moments later he heard footsteps approaching. He turned, expecting to see pickles or maybe Nathan, but was suprised and somewhat upset to see skwisgaar approaching. He was sure the blonde Swede was about to tell him off for making them wait for him in the cold, but much to Toki's suprise, he said nothing. Rather he sat down next to where Toki lay, silently helped him into a sitting position, and just sat there beside him. If Toki hadn't been so overwhelmed with grief, he would have been utterly perplexed; Skwisgaar hated him. As it was, he was still a bit confused. He was still shivering violenty, his clothes and hair now soaked. Suddenly his breath began to hitch and he drew his arm up to his face.

"Hih’schahh! Hep'tchoo! Isschaah!” Toki whimpered and drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself for warmth. He realized Skwisgaar was stirring beside him, but he didn't pay any attention. He was starting to feel tired and achy, not to mention completely emotionally drained. Skwisgaar moved closer to him and wrapped his jacket around the small boys trembling shoulders, then gently pulled him to his feet and, with his arms wrapped tightly around Toki, helped him walk slowly to where the rest of the band was waiting.

"Come ons, lets gets you home." Skwisgaar ended up half carrying Toki back to the car, then carrying him completely back to the jet, for he had fallen asleep curled against Skwisgaar on the way back. The other guys mae no comment on this, and when Skwisgaar sat next to Toki on the jet and he curled next to him once more, Skwisgaar simply wrapped his arms around him and spoke softly in his ear.

"Just sleeps now, it's gons be oks." at these words, Toki was out like a light, and slept soundly all the way home, with Skwisgaar giving him comfort and hopefully helping to make these next few months more bearable.

Ok so what do you think? Should I just leave it or continue? I feel like the way it ended leaves room to continue but it would also soundkinda weird. Anyway I hope you like it!

Oh and I know there wasn't really any sneezing in it, I guess maybe I should continue for that. It just didn't really fit until right at the end.

[blackrose]

the story dose not feel finished, and there are few things more adorable than a sick toki. so i say go for it!

[Anonymouse]

Ohhhh myyy goshhhh I love you. I did a full body flail when I popped into 'Stories' and saw that you'd written a Metalcalypse fic. You should have seen it, I almost injured myself.

Things I loved:

- Pickles was unconscious for half of the story.

- Toki has an automated response for when he doesn't want to answer the door.

- He only answered the door for Charles. I love their relationship, not in a slash way but just... I don't know. It was just the sweetest thing ever when Toki ran to hug him in Doublebookedklok.

- His father dies peacefully instead of sliding into a frozen river.

- The way Skwisgaar went after him and the way he dealt with it. Just sitting there with him quietly.

- The sneezes. They were adorable.

Being a fan I didn't mind the lack of sneezing until the end. Sometimes it's just awkward and difficult to cram sneezing in when it feels like it interrupts the flow of the plot.

I personally wouldn't complain if you decided to continue. In fact I would love to see more if you have the time/motivation.

[kilala]

Thank you Anoymouse, that means so much coming from you, I was hoping you would really like it. Haha I tried to do a good job of putting them all into character, and I definitely had to change Toki's dad's death, that was just ridiculous And I LOVE Charles relationship with all of them, especially Toki and pickles. It's like they are scared little children and Charles is their big strong father-figure that always protects them.

Anyway, here's part two. I can't believe I actually managed to write it without having a nervous breakdown, but there is a small part in the begining with some of the v**** word, so emetephobes beware. And I really hope you like it, and I'm pretty sure there will be a part three.

The next few weeks after the band's return to Mordhous were nothing short of hell. Toki stayed locked in his room,

wanting nothing but a bottle of vodka for company. He had caught a pretty nasty cold on top of his emotional

suffering and was feeling terrible. However, one thing the other boys found odd was that, aside from Charles, the

only person he would speak to was Skwisgaar. In fact, Skwisgaar spent the majority of the days in Tokis room,

urging him to stop drinking so much, take some medicine, and maybe eat something and try to get some sleep. It was

strange to see the way the lead guitarist was being so patient and tender with his younger counterpart, especially

since they noticed several small bruises and cuts appearing on his arms and face on a daily basis, as well as the

fact that he seemed to have caught a small cold too (of course he refused to acknowledge it). Despite all of this

and the fact that Skwisgaar had always claimed to hate Toki, he was still relentlessly trying to help Toki. One

morning Nathan decided to confront Skwisgaar about his behavior, more from curiousity than anything. When he asked

what the hell was going on, Skwisgaar mearly shrugged weakly and once again dissapeared into Toki's room.

Toki opened his eyes and saw, once again, the blond guitarist stepping into his room and stepping over to sit on

the edge of the bed. He was hungover and sick and not feeling up to talking today. Suddenly, the young guitarist

turned to lean over the side of his bed and was violently sick in the floor. He then coughed weakly and covered his

face with his hands, clearly ashamed.

"Gos away, you nots need sees me likes this." he whispered hoarsely. Tokis blue eyes, usually bright and eager,

were bloodshot and dull and rimmed with heavy dark circles. His skin was sallow looking, and his usually smooth

brown hair was brittle and tangled around his head and shoulders. He looked thinner, as if some of his muscle mass

had deteriorated. His cold, left untreated by any medicine, had turned into what seemed to be a nasty infection,

and was running rampant all over his body. He breathing sounded very labored, and he could barely even move.

Skwisgaar had been worrying at night, laying awake and trying to hear him breathing. Of course, this was impossible

through the thick stone walls that seperated his room from the rest of MordHaus. He would have very much liked to

suggest Toki be admitted to the hospital, but the last time he suggested that resulted in the black eye that now

covered half of Skwisgaars face. He was not going to give up though, because no matter what he said, he cared very

much for Toki and refused to stand by and let the guitarist destroy himself.

"Wheres ams my vodkas?" Toki slurred, looking sheepishly at Skwisgaar. Once again he coughed harshly and rolled on

his side, curling into a ball and moaning. "Skwisgaar, dons feels good." He sounded so pitiful that Skwisgaar

couldn't help placing a hand on Toki's back and rubbing it gently.

"I knows you don't Tokis, but ams gonna bes ok, I's making sures."

"Can' makes it betters, can's brings m' dads back."

"Toki, that won'ts fix this." Skwisgaar said gently, "You has to gets helps."

"NO! I won'ds!!" Toki sat up in a fit of rage and slapped weakly at his blonde bandmates face, causing a healing

cut to reopen and start trickling blood. Skwisgaar wiped it away absentmindedly and spoke again calmly.

"Tokis, you ams gonnas die if you don't lets me helps yous." As Skwisgaar said these words, he felt tears prickling

at his eyes, threatening to overflow. Toki had layed down again, his breathing harsh and ragged, his eyes closed,

whimpering quietly. Skwisgaars heart was positivley breaking, and he's never felt so helpless. Toki sniffed, and

his breath began hitching weakly. He didn't even bother trying to cover his face as he sneezed.

"H'ettchaa! Hehetchoo! H'itshoo!" Toki whined and kicked his legs weakly. "Skwisgaars it hurds, makes it stobs!"

Toki now had tears streaming down his face and was curled tightly around himself. Toki sighed before speaking in a

tone that was gentle yet firm.

"No vodkas today. You needs to rest and recuperats, and vodkas makes you sickers." Skwisgaar then turned and

stifled a silent sneeze into his fist, exhaling shakily and sounding as tired as Toki looked. He too had been

suffering from the long days trying to help Toki, and his appearnce showed it, his tangled blond hair and pale

bruised skin and the hint of pink around his nostrils made him cringe every time he passed by anything reflective.

Toki looked up, eyes wide, and seemed to really take in Skwisgaars apperance.

"Skwisgaar you sicks too?" He mumbled.

"No, I'bs fine." He sniffed and rubbed his nose trying to aleviate the dull tickle, as Toki's overtook him yet

again.

"Hekkkshaa! Hetchoo! uhh..." Toki was once again whining as if in pain. Skwisgaar took his face gently in his hands

and forced Toki's eyes to meet his.

"No Vodkas, do yous understands what I says to you?" To skwisgaars suprise, Toki merely lowered his eyes and

nodded. He must really be feeling terrible. He raised his hand as his breath hitched and his eyelids fluttered

shut.

"Heh...H'kkshoo! Hetchaa! Heh..H'ISHOO!" Toki slumped foward on to Skwisgaars chest and sighed in relief, finding

great comfort there. Skwisgaar wrapped his arms tightly around Toki's frail shoulders and could no longer stop the

tears that had been threatening to overflow.

"Listen Tokis, I cares for yous verys much, and I don wants to sees you hurts. Please lets me help, please." Toki

began to sob quietly against the lead guitarist chest, finally giving in, hopefully realizing how badly he needed

help. Skwisgaar pulled Toki back with him to lay down, still holding him firmly against his chest. Toki was already

quieting down and he breathing becoming slow and even, exaustion taking over him. However, the persistent itch in

his nose would not go away and, too tired to move, he sneezed right into Skwisgaars chest.

"H'ettchaa! H'kkshoo! Ibs sorrys." He muttered weakly, and Skwisgaar didn't even flinch, he just patted the young

Norwegian gently on the back and whispered soothingly in his ear.

"Shh Tokis, just sleep, ams gon' be oks. Just sleeps." With that, Toki drifted off rather quickly, and Skwisgaar

was not far behind. Outside in the living room, the rest of the bad felt relieved to finally hear silence after so

many days of screaming, and seemed to know, like Skwisgaar, that Toki had finally broke.

*I'm sorry if some things are misspelled, I'm a little bit dyslexic, and I don't know why it's doublespaced, but I don't feel like changing it so I hope it doesn't bother anyone. And I'm not too good at sneeze sounds or accents, but I tried my best, I hope I didn't butcher them too bad*

[Anonymouse]

No, Toki, don't drink vodka if you have a cold. Poor thing is so drunk and sick and depressed it breaks my heart.

I love how Skwisgaar can be sweet when it really matters. He's so patient even with Toki freaking out on him. I was happy to see that he got sick too. There's nothing I love more than the both of them sick and pathetic together. Loved his silent sneeze, that's how I imagine he'd do it. I also liked the part about him cringing at his own reflection whenever he passed a mirror. He just seems so self-absorbed that it probably kills him to see himself looking like shit.

So glad you decided to continue! It was really cute and tender and sad.

[kilala]

Ok here's part three. I'm actually a little proud of this one, way more so then the first two, except for the short length. The next part will be longer, and I will get it up faster than this one. And yea it's just a little melodramatic. Enjoy!

Skwisgaar stirred and moaned quietly, forcing his heavy eyelids open and gazing around the dark room. His eyes swept over the model airplanes hanging from the ceiling, the pile of stuffed animals laying in the corner next to the small closet, the posters and family photos on the wall. He winced as they took in the amount of empty vodka bottles strewn all over the place, worrying about the young Norwegian who lay curled up beside him, his breathing deep and even. Skwisgaar knew that Toki's childhood had been rough. Growing up in a small snowy village outside Lillehammer, with a strict old-fashioned minister for a father, Toki never seemed to be good enough, no matter how hard he tried, how desperately he wanted to please him, it never seemed to be enough. Toki had tried to hide the scars that marred the smooth skin that covered his toned back muscles, but Skwisgaar had seen, and he had pictured a small thin boy with mousy brown hair and big blue eyes that filled with tears whenever he saw the dissapointment and shame in his own parents eyes. It had left him with emotional scars, running more deeply than the physical ones. Skwisgaar just hoped that his fathers death would help give him some form of closure, though he knew it was a vain hope. Beside him, Toki sighed sleepily and scooted closer to Skwisgaars warm body, then sighed once more-this time in contentment. Skwigaar was sure they had been asleep for several hours, but didn't feel Toki should have to wake up yet. This was probably the first good nights [or days, he wasn't even sure] sleep he had gotten in weeks, and he needed it if he was going to recover physically and emotionally. At this point Skwisgaar wasn't sure which would be harder for the rythym guitarist. He gazed at his peaceful face for a moment, and then felt the familiar irritating tickle in his nose. He pressed his fist against it and fought to keep his eyes open, but as his breath began hitching he knew he had no choice but to sneeze. He kept his nose squashed against his knuckles, trying to be quiet so as not to wake Toki. The first two sneezes he managed to silence completely with some difficulty, but the third one he just couldn't quite hold back. "Hmmp'choo!" He then sniffed a few times and glanced once more at Toki. To his relief, the young man hadn't moved an inch. He must really be out. Well good, he needs his rest. Skwisgaar decided to chance getting up. His head was begining to throb a bit and his throat felt dry and scratchy, and of course the itch in his nose persisted to keep flaring up. He slid carefully and slowly off the bed, and again, Toki didn't seem to notice. However, as Skwisgaar stood and watched him, he drew his legs to his chest and began shivering slightly. The Swede quickly ran to his room and grabbed his fur throw off his own bed and wrapped it lightly around Toki's thin frame. He nuzzled into it and inhaled deeply. No doubt he picked up Skwisgaars smell, and he once again side contentedly and began breathing slowly again. Skwisgaar turned to leave but paused when he noticed Toki's teddy bear laying in the floor next to a few glass bottles. He picked it up and twirled it's devil tail idly in his fingers. This stupid little stuffed animal that the young Norwegian was relentlessly hounded for sleeping with. Skwisgaar realized with a guilty tug at his heart that it wasn't so childish or 'gay' as he'd often said. It was actually kind of cute, and if it gave Toki a sense of comfort he didn't see why they should be assholes about it. He placed the bear next to Toki's arm, who reached out from under the blanket and pulled it close to him, sighing once more. Skwisgaar then walked out into the hallway and slumped against the wall. The tickle in his nose had been growing and now demanded his full attention. He still stifled but didn't bother trying to stay completely silent. "Hxgt'shoo! heh-hnng'shoo! Ihieshehh!" He groan and slid down to the floor, clutching at his head that was now aching mercilessly, his throat felt as if it was on fire, and he was freezing and burning at the same time. He got to his feet and weakly made his way down to the kitchen, hoping to find some hot tea or soup. As he reached the doorway, he found Pickles and Nathan passed out on the floor which was littered with empty beer cans. Upon further inspection he found murderface in the living room in a similar state. He didn't care to wake them, so he simply stepped over them and opened the fridge, searching for something hot and soothing. Not suprisingly he found nothing but beer and vodka, so he quickly gave up and returned to his room, throwing himself face down onto his bed. He once again was overwhelmed by the tickle in his nose and muffled three sneezes into his pillow, bot even bothering to move. "Heishoo! Hmpt'choo! Hxgt'shoo!" He clutched at his head, which was not only aching from sickness but also from the confusion and frustration. Why was he feeling this way? He was supposed to hate Toki, that was just the way their dynamic worked. Toki was an annoying little kid, and Skwisgaar had no patience for his immaturity.

That was just how it was.

So why was Skwisgaar worrying about him? Why was he feeling <i>concern<i/> for him? And why couldn't he stop thinking about how soft his smooth brown hair felt, or the way his muscles shaped his body flawlessly, or those blue eyes that were such a striking shade...

No! he shook his head to clear it. He couldn't feel this way, he just couldn't. It wasn't right. Toki was a man, he could take care of himself. It wasn't Skwisgaars job. He flipped on his back and tossed a pillow against the wall in frustration. He was so busy staring fixedly at the ceiling he didn't even notice his door creep open slowly, and jumped slightly when he turned his head and saw the object of his fixation standing timidly in the doorway. He was clutching his teddybear and still had the fur blanket wrapped around him, and his cheeks were flushed slightly. He spoke in a small voice.

"Ams sorry, I thoughts you weres sleepings. I's just gonna brings your blankets back." His voice sounded terribly hoarse and he clutched at his throat and whimpered just from those two sentences. Skwisgaars feelings of frustration melted away, and left in their place was that stupid concerned feeling. Such didlos.

"Toki, you shoulds be in beds. Comes here and lays down." Skwisgaar patted the empty space beside him and Toki obeyed, laying on his side and curling up in a ball. They lay in silence for a few moments when Skwisgaar finally broke it.

"You know Tokis, I never even hads a fathers." He hoped these words would maybe get Toki to open up some, maybe talk and vent some of his feelings, maybe he'd feel better. Skwisgaar glanced down to see tears welling up in his eyes just before he turned away from the lead guitarist and said in a small voice "I don'ts wanna talks abouts it." Skwisgaar reached out to stroke his hair gently, but, to his suprise, Toki jerked away from his touch as if he'd placed his hand on a hot stove. It seemed trying to get him to talk hadn't been such a great idea. "I'm sorrys." Skwisgaar mumbled quietly and swiftly got up and left the room. Toki didn't protest, so he took that as meaning the Norwegian would just like to be left alone for now. He ventured downstairs to see if anyone was awake yet and to find some tylenol for his aching head.

Toki lay there, feeling completely alone and miserable. Tears were now flowing silently down his face and he made no attempt to wipe them away. He still was feeling terrible physically and emotionally. Why did everything he touched go bad? He must just be a mistake, his life a total accident. He wished it would all just end.

Suddenly, an idea came to him. What if it could all end?

He knew where Skwisgaar kept his stash of his really nice imported vodka. Toki got up and opened the cabinent to find a dozen or so clear glass bottles. Within minutes he had downed two. He staggered out into the hallway and in to Pickles room, taking a razorblade and a bag of cocaine. He returned to Skwisgaars room, and though he could barely see straight, he managed to make four decently straight lines and snort them all just before he brought the razor to the inside of his wrist. He was reminded vaugely of the whips his father had used on him, the way they cut into his back, his arms, even his face sometimes. He remembered feeling disgusting, like a parasite. He deserved it, he had always deserved it. As the bright red blood began oozing from his arm, staining the silvery fur throw, he smiled in relief. Soon this will all be over, soon he will feel no more, and soon he will finally get what he'd always deserved.

[Anonymouse]

! WHAT no! I didn't expect it to go in that direction but it makes total sense, he's finally snapped. What makes this even worse is that he did it in Skwisgaar's room, so he's going to find him and it's going to be heartbreaking.

Skwisgaar's sneezes in the beginning were really cute (I love how he stifled so he wouldn't wake Toki) but DAMN GIRL this shit's getting dark.

ETA: Totally forgot that this was my 666th post! I was saving it for something totally brutal so this is perfect.

Edited May 11, 2011 by AnonyMouse

[kilala]

Thank you Yeah I tend to lean toward the darker side of stuff, it's what I've always written about, maybe because it's my outlet. And that's awesome about the 666th post thing, I feel so special

Anyway, here's part four. As usual my dramatic plot doesn't leave room for much sneezing, but I'll make up for that eventually. And this part is about Skwisgaar, I guess from his point of view. I hope you like it

"We're doing everything we can, we're just not sure if it's gonna be enough, we're not sure if we can save him."

"Whats ams you means? You haves to saves him! You haves too!"

"We are trying, but his heart is failing, and his brain isn't getting enough oxygen. Too much longer in this state and he's not gonna make it."

"Well do somethings else! Saves him, helps him!"

This has to be a bad dream, it has to. I'll open my eyes and everything will be back to normal.

Skwisgaar jolted out of his half-asleep stupor, desperately hoping to see something safe and familiar, but his brain went numb as he took in the dull walls of the waiting room, the small TV that no one seemed to be watching. He took in the way the rest of his bandmates were sprawled out across the chairs, absently playing with their phones and flipping through magazines, Charles pacing around the room anxiously. This wasn't normal, Charles never lost his composure. This was a sign that something was horribly wrong.

How did this happen? Just a few hours ago everything seemed as if it was gonna be ok, as if he was gonna be ok...

Skwisgaar hadn't felt any concern over leaving Toki alone in his room. He assumed the Norwegian was still very tired and would simply fall asleep on Skwisgaars luxurious bed within minutes. he'd went downstairs, had a couple of beers, eaten some soup he had requested Jean-Pierre make for him, and gotten in the hot tub for a bit, which felt good on his sore aching muscles and helped clear his sinuses. He then decided a nap would do him some good, so he went to his room, planning to join Toki, whom he was sure would still be sleeping. Though Skwisgaar was usually pretty level headed himself, he couldn't help but scream when he opened the door and took in the sight that met him.

Toki was sprawled on his bed in an unatural looking position, his face pale as the moon and covered with blood and vomit that ran down his shirt and had pooled beneath him in various places. His right arm had a pool of blood as well, and it still seemed to be flowing steadily from his wrist. Skwisgaar noted the empty vodka bottles, the opened bag of cocaine, and the blood-stained razorblade and realized what must have happened. For a moment he was too horrified to move, to even breathe. He was sure Toki was...No! He can't be, he can't, he just can't!

"Charles, helps!!" The moment the words left his mouth he heard footsteps sprinting down the hall. Even in the most desperate and dangerous of situations Charles had never heard Skwisgaar yell for help, so he knew this must be very serious. He braced himself, imagining the very worst, and sure enough he was met with a sight that he'd only ever seen in his very worst nightmares. He gently but urgently pushed past Skwisgaar, phone already at his ear, and knelt beside Toki. As he rattled off instructions to the paramedics on the other end, he grabbed Toki's left wrist in his free hand and pressed firmly against it for a moment.

"No pulse, please hurry." He then hung up the phone and pressed his ear to Toki's chest, listening for a heartbeat. He started pumping his hands frantically against the place where the rythym guitarists heart should have been moving his blood through the rest of his body, but there was no movement, no sigins of life from within the small man. He had lost twice as much blood as he normally would have due to the amount of alcohol in his system. Charles sighed in relief when he heard the shrill sirens approaching quickly and abruptly stopping just outside the huge house. Within seconds the paramedics had made there way to the room. They hoisted Toki onto a stretcher, placing an oxygen mask on his face, picking up where Charles left off with chest compressions, and whisked him out of the room, through the living room and passed a stunned Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface, who stood frozen on the spot, out the door and into the back of the ambulance. They heard the sirens flare up again and die away as it sped towards the hospital. Charles then knew he had to regain control of the situation, because if he panicked everyone would. He grasped Skwisgaar by the arm and gently led him to the living room where the others were. The tall Swede moved like a robot, not even aware he was moving until his eyes met Nathan's. He just stared dully at the startled frontman, not sure what to think or say or how to feel. Toki, no. This can't happen, this can't be real, it has to be a bad dream. Skwisgaar felt lightheaded, everything seemed to be swimming in and out of focus, the walls surrounding him become nothing more than a blur...

"Skwisgaar, can you hear me?"

The hand that was roughly shaking his shoulder was the only thing that proved to him that he was still alive, still in his body, and this wasn't all just a dream. He felt as if he was moving, sliding foward. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself looking at the ceiling of the sleek black dethcar. He was racking his brain, trying to remember. He was vaugely aware of Charles staring at him, waiting for him to say something. He was about to ask what was going on when the car came to an abrupt stop after a few quick turns. The moment the purring engine was silenced, it all came rushing back to him; Toki. He remembered it all: The young Norweigan talking with his mother on the phone, eagerly showing them around the small snow-covered town he'd grown up in, hesitant, afraid even, to see his father and say goodbye. He remembered the weeks he'd spent drunk, the injuries he'd both inflicted and recived, how sick and vunerable he'd been. He remembered curling up next to him and his slow steady breathing as he slept peacefully. He remembered the vodka, the cocaine.

The razorblade.

It was Charles gentle voice that brought him back to the present. "Skwisgaar? We are at the hospital now, we are going to see how Toki is doing. Are you feeling well enough to come inside with us?'

Skwisgaar felt so surreal. He was always the one who kept his head, always the one who took everything so well. He never got anxious or upset or scared.

So why did he feel as if his resolve had crumbled into a million tiny pieces and been swept away like dust in the wind? he couldn't seem to get a grip on himself, he couldn't find that calm in him. He couldn't find the strength to even nod or shake his head, so he just stared blankly at Charles, who gazed back patiently.

"I'll help you inside, come on we need to get in there." Charles stood and helped Skwisgaar to his feet and supported him as they walked through the sliding glass doors. He helped him settle into a chair and went to speak with the nurse at the desk, who couldn't give them any information yet. Charles joined the rest of them in the padded chairs but soon began his pacing, while everyone else sat in stunned silence.

Skwisgaar jolted in his chair. He realized he had spaced out, or maybe fallen asleep, remembering all of the events of the past few hours. He had no idea how much time had passed since The doctor came to speak with them. his face grave and stoic. He looked around and saw it was dark outside, probably sometime in the early morning. He also saw that Nathan and murderface were not in the room, and Charles and Pickles were curled up in chairs next to each other asleep. Before he could wonder where the frontman and bassist had wandered off to, a door opened and the same doctor came in, wearing the same emotionless expression he had been wearing earlier. Skwisgaar stood so fast it made his head spin and he swayed a little. The doctor placed a hand on his shoulder to help steady him.

"Easy son, he seems like he'll be allright for now. We've got him stablized anyway, he had to have his stomach pumped and several blood transfusions, and we're not sure if he sustained any permanent damage to his brain or his nervous system, but it seems like he'll live."

Suddenly Skwisgaar felt a warm wetness trickle down his cheek. He wiped at it absently and realized he was crying. It was as if his sense of awareness had returned. He realized it was cold it the room and wrapped his arms around himself, shivering slightly. He also became aware of how crappy he felt, no doubt this ordeal had made him even sicker. He was aware that his head throbbed and his throat ached, and that his nose was itching as if someone had lit it on fire. His breath hitched rapidly and he drew his hand up to his face.

"Hmp'choo! Hxgst'shoo! Heh-H'ISHOO!! Ow." Skwisgaar hid his face in his hands and sat back down, whimpering slightly. He normally made every effort to hide the face that he was sick but he feel so terrible now he didn't even see the point in it. Once again he drw his breath in short, desperate sounding gasps, then snapped foward with each sneeze. "Heh H'itchew! Hetchoo! I'hishew!" He ended the fit with a few harsh coughs and a groan.

"Bless you, that must be one nasty cold you have there." The doctor offered him a hankerchief from his own pocket, which he gladly accepted. "Thangs." He belw his nose softly then leaned his head against the cold wall and closed his eyes.

"Not feeling very well?" the doctor asked kindly. Skwisgaar simply shook his head, to tired for anything else. Well, maybe you should just go home for the night. It looks as if your friends are pretty tired," he nodded towards Pickles and Charles, "and we will call you immediately if there is any change. It seems it would be in everyone's best interest to leave, there is nothing more you can do here tonight." Of course Skwisgaar was dying to see Toki, but he didn't imagine they would let him sick as he was. The doctor then turned to Charles and shook him gently on the shoulder to wake him and repeat what he had just told Skwisgaar. The blonde guitarist sighed sleepily and drifted off quickly, feeling too tired to hold his heavy eyelids open. He remembered very little of leaving the hospital or the car ride home. It appeared Nathan and murderface had went outside for a minute, and pickles never did wake from his half-sleeping half-drunk state. Skwisgaar remembered laying down on a bed that wasn't quite as large or as soft as his, he remembered a scent that was both

comforting and endearing, and then just before he fell asleep. He remembered why this bed was slightly smaller, and why it had that scent. He remembered why he would have to sleep in Toki's room that night, and the sleep he so badly needed turned into nothing more than a series of blurred nightmares.

Edited May 12, 2011 by kilala

[Anonymouse]

I'm so glad you updated this so quickly. This story is like my crack. It seriously keeps getting better and better. I'm so nervous for Toki though.

You wrote Skwisgaar's shocked out-of-body experience-ness so well. It felt like reading a dream. Poor guy felt so helpless, he probably feels responsible for what happened. I love that Charles tries to keep him grounded throughout the whole thing.

Pickles and Charles sleeping in the chairs = Cute sneezes at the end too, poor thing is so sick and distraught I just want to hug him. I love that he fell asleep in Toki's bed.

[kilala]

Thank you! I'm so glad you are enjoying it! I knew there wouldn't be a ton of people into it, but if my fellow metalocalypse fan likes it I must be doing ok .

Part five. There's more puke and a few bad words, nothing major. Hope you like it

What am's going on? Where ams I? Ow, why do I hurts so much? What is this?

Toki couldn't seem to find his eyelids and force them open. He couldn't find onything, he was barely even aware of his own existance. All he could grasp was the pain, a series gentle rythmic beeps and ticks, and soft, slow breathing.

"Is he waking up?"

That voice, where had he heard it before? It was familiar somehow.

"It seems as if he's coming around a little bit, we can't be sure though."

Another voice, this one a female, also familiar, but not lke the first one. This one brought no comfort, rather a sense of dread.

What is going on here?

There was a gentle knock on the door. Skwisgaar awoke slowly and looked around, his eyes meeting model airplanes and dinosaur posters again. Oh yea, this is Toki's room. He closed his eyes and suddenly felt sick.

"Skwisgaar? It's me, Charles, can I come in?" Skwisgaar was still in bed, wearing nothing but a pair of cut off sweatpants, and more than likely looking like shit, but he didn't care, he knew Charles wouldn't judge him.

"Comes in." He called out hoarsely, and Charles entered the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. At the sight of his manager, everything became even more real, and the sickness he was feeling overwhelmed him.

"I'm gonna bes sick." He then jumped up and leaned over a nearby trash can, retching and gagging as his stomach acid poured from his mouth. When he was done he slumped against the wall and slid to the floor, coughing harshly, tears spilling from his eyes. Charles went into the bathroom and turned on the sink for just a moment, then returned and pressed a cool washcloth to the blonde Swede's forehead, then to his neck and his chest.

"I see you're not any better than yesterday. Do you need to see a nurse?" Skwisgaar shook his head but he than began shivering though his body was burning with fever. Charles placed a hand against his forehead then spoke firmly, leaving no room for arguement. "Well, you are very sick, so I'm gonna have to insist that you come with me to the infirmary and see a nurse. You don't look so great, and you clearly don't feel great either." Skwisgaar was about to protest but then his nose began to itch quite forcefully.

"H'etchoo! Huh-Ishoo! Hngst'choo!" Again he couched harshly and whined as more tears spilled from his eyes.

"Uh huh, that's what I thought. You're seeing a nurse, now." Skwisgaar felt too awful to protest so instead let Charles lead his upstairs and help him lay on a cot in one of the small brightly lit rooms. He closed his eyes and clutched at his throbbing head, promting Charles to turn off the light. "Better?" He nodded his head once and curled up in a ball on his side, eyes still closed. "One of the nurses will be into see you soon. I'm going down to the hospital to see how Toki is today."

"Tokis?" Skwisgaar whispered hoarsely, then cleared his throat and spoke slightly louder "I wants to sees him."

"I know you do, but you can't be going anywhere in your condition, and you can't be around Toki, his immune system is not in the best shape and he is already sick, so it's crucial he stay away from anything that could make him worse. I promise I'll let you know what's going on, I'll call Nathan and he can tell you any updates." Charles squeezed the guitarists shoulder in a comforting gesture. "It will be ok Skwisgaar. Oh, there's the nurse. I will see you this afternoon. Take it easy and do what she says." With that, Charles touch was replaced with Nurse Chelsea. She looked him over and poked and prodded him with several insturments, and came to the conclusion that he simply had a bad infection like Toki's. She gave him two shots and a series of pills to take and told him if he wanted to stay in the room and rest for a while that was fine with her. She moved a small table over next to the cot, equipped with a glass of water, some tissues, and a buzzer so he could call her if he needed to. She also placed a small trash can on the floor beside his head incase he was sick again, and left the room quietly after making sure he had plently of soft blankets and pillows. He wasn't even able to do anything but fall into a deep exausted sleep.

"Hello, Mr. Offdensen. How are you today?" the nurse at the front desk at the hospital greeted him, smiling sweetly.

"I am well thank you, I hope the same can be said for you."

"Yes I'm alright thank you. I'm guessing you would like to see Mr. Wartooth?"

"If I may."

"Yes, he seems to be doing quite well today. Follow me." The nurse led him into a ward of very sick patients and to the room he had yet to see, room 517. She placed a clipboard in the basket on the door and opened it softly, beckoning Charles to follow her. Though he knew the kind of shape Toki would be in, he couldn't help but wince.

He had never seen so many tubes and machines hooked to one person in his life. There were so many beeps and ticks and flashing screens and bags of fluid surrounding the young guitarist it made his head spin. Toki looked like a small child, and the manager felt a strong urge to protect him, he just wasn't sure how. He approached the bed cautiously and place. a hand gently on Toki's shoulder. He was stunned at how pale and thin his face looked. That and his left arm were the only parts of him that weren't covered by a thin white blanket, and they were both splotched with purple and blue marks. Charles tried very hard to hold onto his composure, but seeing the band member who was always so much like a child in this state made it very difficult.

"Toki, can you hear me? I'm here, and you're gonna be ok." Charles didn't really know what else to say. He didn't expect a response, so he was stunned when Toki's bright blue eyes fluttered opened and locked onto his manager's. They stared at each other in silence as the seconds ticked by. Toki closed his eyes, and Charles thought he had drifted back to sleep, but then he spoke, his voice no more than a whipser.

"Charles, yous dead toos?"

"What? Toki no, you're not dead. We brought you to the hospital, and they saved your life."

"You means, I ams alives?"

"Yes Toki, you're going to be fine." Charles was once again met with the unexpected when Toki began to cry. Tears welled up in his eyes and he sobbed silently, attempting to turn his head and hide so Charles couldn't see.

"Toki what's wrong, does something hurt?"

"I don'ts wants be alives. Is just a worthless piece of shits. Alls I ever dos is fucks everythings up. Why didn't yous just kills me? Isn't that whats everone wants?"

Charles had to fight to keep the tears out of his eyes and his voice steady. He stroked the length of Toki's hair once. He wouldn't do this kind of thing with the other guys, but he just had that father figure relationship with the young Norwegian, so it never felt uncomfortable for either of them.

"Toki, I had no idea you felt that way. Why didn't you talk to me, or Dr. Twinkletits, or somebody if you were feeling this bad?"

"Whys would anyones cares? I'm just fuckings shits. I'ms a para-sects. A disease. I deserves to dies." At this Toki turned his head and buried his face in the pillow, sobbing miserably.

Although this was one of the worst things Charles had been through with any of the boys, he was still able to keep his head. He know Toki was having a very hard time and he just needed some help. All he had to do was open up and let someone help, and it was up to Charles to bring him to that point, and he had a pretty good idea of who would be the person Toki would open up to.

"Toki, can you listen to me? You are not a piece of shit or worthless or a parasite, and you don'f fuck everything up. You are just a man who spent your childhood being abused, yes you were abused, and losing your dad is going to be ten times harder on you because of that. It's going to bring so many awful feelings and thoughts to the surface, and it's going to be hard to recover from it and to get through it, but you can do it Toki. Not many kids could have went through what you did and grown up to be so strong and have such a positive outlook on life. You are a wonderful person Toki, and everyone loves you like family, like a brother. Now I know you don't really wanna die, I think now that you came so close you are scared. If you don't get help, next time you won't be so lucky. There are so many people who are more than willing to help you, but you have to let them. You can't push people away and lash out at them and ignore them when they tell you something, like you've been doing with Skwisgaar. He's been trying to help you, he was trying to prevent this from happening, but you wouldn't let him in. Now it makes no difference to me who you open up to, but either you find someone or your staying here, upstairs in the mental health ward. As it is, you are going to start counseling sessions twice a week with a counselor who specializes in the type of thing you are going through, and you will be placed on suicide watch. And if you do any more cocaine, you are going straight to rehab, because I know you don't do that regularly and you don't do it for fun. And you will not argue on any of this. Do you understand me?" Charles had spoken all of this in a very gentle tone as not to upset Toki further, but he still made sure he got the point across. Toki looked up at him, still sobbing, his face covered in tears, and whimpered softly.

"You ams rights, I am scareds. Pleases helps me." He sniffed and blinked his eyes trying to clear some of the tears, but they continued to flow steadily. Suddenly, his gaze went out of focus.

"You alright?" Charles asked, slightly anxious. But as Toki closed his eyes and his breathing began hitching weakly Charles knew what was about to happen.

"Heh-He'Eshaa! Hek'shoo!" Toki buried his head once more in the pillows, trembling and whining in pain. Charles reached over and pressed the buzzer for the nurse.

"Yes?" He gave the room number as Toki muffled to more sneezes into his pillow "Heh'Ishoo! Etchoo!" A few seconds passed and the nurse walked in and rushed to Toki's side.

"Are you hurting sweetie?" Toki nodded and whined again. She stroked his hair gently and fiddled with one of the tubes in his arm. He suddenly fely very sleepy and warm as the pain began to fade. "Better?" she asked, still stroking his hair.

"Mhm." He mumbled, eyes already closed, already drifting off. The nurse scurried out of the room and Charles bent to squeeze Toki's hand, though the guitarist was already fast asleep.

"That's it Toki, just sleep, it'll be alright." Charles started to leave but paused in the doorway and turned towards the young Norwegian once more. "The nurses say you can probably come home in a few days. I think you and Skwisgaar could definitely use each others company right now."

[Anonymouse]

Poor Toki. He's so easy to torture. He and Skwisgaar are in so much pain in this. I wanna cuddle them. Totally changing my future career to become a doctor or a nurse in Mordhaus.

I don't have the internet on my computer until tomorrow so I'm actually checking this on my friend's laptop (hgope I remember to delete the history after eep) because I really wanted to see if you'd updated AND YOU DID. I was also sitting here reading this and watching the show at the same time. Clearly I'm obsessed.

I'm so grateful for the handful of Metalocalypse fans here. I hope you continue writing more stories after you finish this one, you write them so well and they make me happy.

[kilala]

Poor Toki. He's so easy to torture. He and Skwisgaar are in so much pain in this. I wanna cuddle them. Totally changing my future career to become a doctor or a nurse in Mordhaus.

I don't have the internet on my computer until tomorrow so I'm actually checking this on my friend's laptop (hgope I remember to delete the history after eep) because I really wanted to see if you'd updated AND YOU DID. I was also sitting here reading this and watching the show at the same time. Clearly I'm obsessed.

I'm so grateful for the handful of Metalocalypse fans here. I hope you continue writing more stories after you finish this one, you write them so well and they make me happy.

I know! it's so wierd how we show our love for them by torturing them. I will definitely join you on that, that would be the best career ever!

Like I said, I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Yea I'm sitting on the couch between my boyfriend who knows and my friend who does not know. I'm just hoping he doesn't get curious. Haha it's an addiction for sure! Can't wait for the new season

Thank you, I'm definitely planning on it, I'm thinking I wanna do a Charles/Pickles one next, but I also wanna do an 18+ one, and that seems hard. But we'll see. Whatever I decide I'll probably be starting it sometime in the coming week, and I'll probably start part 6 of this one tonight

[Anonymouse]

Charles/Pickles = Of course an 18+ would be nice too. (Or an 18+ Charles/Pickles one. )

I read this again because I was drunkish the first time (hence why I was on this forum on a friend's laptop in the first place with five other friends in close proximity ) and I wanted to make sure I understood everything that happened. I don't know how I forgot to comment on this the first time, but this

"Toki, can you hear me? I'm here, and you're gonna be ok." Charles didn't really know what else to say. He didn't expect a response, so he was stunned when Toki's bright blue eyes fluttered opened and locked onto his manager's. They stared at each other in silence as the seconds ticked by. Toki closed his eyes, and Charles thought he had drifted back to sleep, but then he spoke, his voice no more than a whipser.

"Charles, yous dead toos?"

"What? Toki no, you're not dead. We brought you to the hospital, and they saved your life."

"You means, I ams alives?"

completely broke my heart.

I also must comment on that amaz(l)ing(tons) banner in your signature. Such ridiculous hairstyles/outfits.

[kilala]

Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I've been really busy and been dealing with alot of stress and stupid shit, and honestly just haven't felt much like writing. But, I really wanted to get this part up, because I'm really excited about writing the next one, and starting my Charles/Pickles story, but I know if I don't finish this one first I never will. So this part probably isn't as good as it could have been, but oh well. I'm gonna have a very busy weekend and I have to go to sleep now but I'll try to get started on the next part ASAP. Hope you like it

Charles was in his office quietly sorting through some papers on his desk. It had been very quiet at MordHaus with Toki in the hospital and Skwisgaar being so sick. He had stayed locked in his room for the past three days, probably sleeping the majority of the time. Charles wouldn't dare discuss if with the rest of the boys, but he felt there was something deeper going on between the two guitarist. This suspicion had been confirmed yesterday when Charles had been in Toki's room. It had been his first counseling session, and the manager felt it would be in Toki's best interest that he be there for moral support. It had went quit well, the Norweigian had been very nervous and not opened up vey much, but he hadn't protested and that was a very good start at least. Of course the emotional turmoil had completely drained the little bit of energy Toki had regained and he quickly feel asleep once the doctors had left. Charles stayed a little longer just to make sure he's be alright. As he was checking his emails on his phone, sitting in a chair next to Toki's bedside, the young man started mumbling and squirming in his sleep. Charles moved closer to his bedside, planning to wake him if it became apparant that he was having another one of the nightmares that had sent him into screaming fits of terror so many times lately, claiming he killed his father and was a murderer, but as his words slowly became more comprehinsable, he was stunned to realize what the guitarist had been saying.

"Swi-gar, helps mes. Makes its better Swi-gar, makes it goes away." he mumbled various phrases such as these over and over for 5 minutes straight, then fell silent. Charles then left the hospital and returned back to Mordhaus, not being able to shake what he had heard. He decided to shrug it off and go under the assumption that it was none of his business and he probably didn't want to know, but he couldn't help but wonder...

His musings were interrupted rather abruptly when his phone began to ring.

"Hello?"

"Yes, Mr. Offdensen? I'm calling regarding Mr. Toki Wartooth, we have reviewed his progress and he is ready to be discharged and come home today. He would like for you to come pick him up now if you can."

"Yes I can, tell him I'll be there soon. Thank you."

"You're welcome, see you soon, bye!" There was a slight click as the nurse hung up the phone. Charles went to the living room to tell Nathan where he was going, for he knew the rest of them were still asleep. However, he was shocked to find not Nathan, but Skwisgaar sprawled out on the couch under a blanket. He was flipping absently through the TV channels and barely glanced up at Charles. He didn't seem to look as bad, the manager noted. He sat down in a fluffy armchair next to the couch.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Charles asked nonchalantly.

"I'm fines. Just sicks of sleepings all the times." His voice still sounded a bit congested, and his normally sleek hair was pulled back into a messy tangled ponytail, but he looked much better than he had the last time Charles had seen him.

"Have you been taking your medicine?"

"Ja, I'ms almost finisheds withs it." Skwisgaar then sat the remote down and really met his managers eyes. Charles could see the pain there, he could even feel it through the blonde's gaze. He blurted out his next question before really even thinking about it.

"So why have you been locked up in your room so much all of a sudden?" Something flickered in the guitarists blue eyes but before Charles could figure out what it was he was looking at him with an innocent slightly confused expression.

"I'ves been sicks, didn't wants to infects anyones else," he paused for a second and glanced over his shoulder, then changed the subject "where ams you goings anyways?"

"I'm going to pick up Toki. The nurse called and said he is ready to come home." Skwisgaar winced noticably, no doubt remembering what had happened the last time Toki was home.

"Don't worry Skwisgaar, he's doing counseling and he's on suicide watch, he's not allowed to be alone very much, and he's not allowed to drink or do any drugs for a while. It's under control." Charles stood and straightened his coat. "I better get up there, he's waiting for me. Would you like to come too?" Skwisgaar hesitated, rubbing at his nose irritably. He didn't want to upset Toki in the hospital, he knew their re-introduction would be difficult and he'd rather save it for when the young man was back in a familiar and safe enviornment. The fact that he hadn't showered in a few days and refused to be seen looking like this was the final factor in his decision making.

"Nah, I'll st-heh stays." He sniffed, trying to rid his nose of the tickle, but that just seemed to irritate it further. He finally gave in to it. "H'gnst'shoo! Hmp'choo! Huh-Heh'Ishoo!" He sniffled and coughed into his arm a few times. "Ugh, stills nots gone yets."

"Bless you," Charles said, "I will be back in a little while, I'm sure Toki will be very happy to see you. Goodbye." With that Charles left, shutting the door gently behind him, and Skwisgaar returned to his room, flopping onto the bed with a sigh, resigning himself once more to the tickle that was always there.

"Heh'Echaa! Heh'Tchaa! Huh' ISHOO! Ow, stupid dildos cold." He grabbed his guitar and began playing frantically, as he always did when he wanted a distraction, but gave up on that quicky. He decided to try a hot bath. It had always been his mom's remedy when he got sick as a child, and it always seemed to make him feel better. He ran the steaming hot water all the way to the rim of his huge tub and layed back in it, letting the heat draw the pain and tension out of his stiff muscles. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on anything but, however his thoughts kept returning to the brunet guitarist who would be back at MordHaus and hopefully back to normal soon. He had survived, and between therapy and time, he would recover from his fathers death and his abusive childhood, Skwisgaar was sure of it. He would put this behind him and move on.

But what did that mean exactly? Would things return to normal? He sighed. What is normal anyway? He knew one thing for sure, what he had felt for Toki these past few weeks was different than anything he had ever felt. It's intruiged him, fustrated him, and scared the hell out of him all at the same time. And he just wasn't sure what to do with it.

"H'gnst'choo! Hep'choo! Heh-Ishoo!" He snapped foward with three unexpected sneezes. The fit brought him back down to earth, and he realized his fingers were getting wrinkled on the tips. He got out and wrapped a towel around his waist, pulling a brush through his wet hair and wrapping anothet towel around it. He went to his room and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, deciding to remain shirtless for the time being. He pulled the towel from his now just slightly damp hair and tossed it in the floor. Physically he was feeling better, though now very sleepy, but emotionally the turmoil still swirled inside of him like a raging tornado. He grabbed his guitar and again tried to drown out his thoughts, but playing was so second nature he didn't have to think about it. "This ams dildos." He muttered, dropping it on the floor and rolling over on his stomach. Before he knew what hit him he suddenly became so sleepy he couldn't even move, and he gratefully let his racing mind slip into what he hoped would be blank and dreamless.

Toki had been dozing off all morning, drifting in and out of awareness. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs and was far from back to normal, but was feeling alot better than he had a few days ago, both physically and emotionally. He was still upset, and knew he had a long and difficult road to recovery, but somehow knowing he was on it gave him a sense of peace. And Skwisgaar...

No, he told himself firmly. Skwisgaar doesn't care, he's nothing more than a bandmate, he had never liked Toki, why would that change now? So, did he dream the past few weeks? The Swede's gentle touch, his patience and persistent efforts to take care of him, his kind yet firm words of reassurance, his long thin arms hodling him tight, chasing the nightmares away, had he imagined all that? It had to be the drugs, they were making him delerious.

There was a knock on the door, and it opened slowly. Charles poked his head into the room, looking mildly suprised.

Hello Toki, I wasn't sure if you were awake. How are you today?"

"I'm fines, I just wants to goes homes. I wants my rooms and my beds and nos more doctors all the times."

"Well you can come home, just remember the terms we agreed upon, I will not hesitate to send you back here if I feel it's nessecary."

"Hek'Shaaa!" Toki sneezed into the crook of his arm then sniffled wetly "Sorrys."

"Bless you, it's fine Toki." But he hadn't heard him, for his face had fallen slack and he buried his face in his arm as he drew in a deep breath, then snapped foward with a H'etchaaa!" He buried his face in his hands and groaned. 'My heads." He murmured.

"Bless you, I guess you're still not completely over that cold huh?" He sniffed a few times and looked up at Charles

"They gaves me medicines, I takes thems but theys nots workings." He looked dejectedly at the sheet that was covering the lower half of his body.

"Well Toki, those types of things don't work instantly, it's going to take a little time. But you'll be back to normal soon, you just have to rest. It's a good thing you guys just finished touring or I don't know what we would have done." There was another knock and the two men looked up to see Toki's new therapist, Dr. Robinson entering the room.

"Hey Toki, I just wanted to check in once more before you left." he pulled a stool over to the bed and sat on it so he was eye level with the rythym guitarist. "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm fines, a littles nervous I guess." He shrugged weakly.

"Well I'm sure your band will be very happy to have you back, and You'll be meeting with me twice a week for now, Monday and Thursday afternoons." He turned to Charles "I think it's best if we meet here for now in my office. I showed you where it is. Toki, you will do just fine. And if you need anything I'm just a phone call away. I know you're ready." Toki felt reassured by these words and nodded, clutching his Deddybear to his chest. The stuffed bear had been his constant source of comfort since Charles had brought it to him the day they pumped his stomach. He felt silly, but Dr. Robinson assured him it was nothing to feel embarassed about. So, as Charles helped him out of his bed, into the elevator, out the door, and finally into the familar black car, he had shamelessly held it tightly, feeling eager and anxious and scared, feeling the same as his blonde companion back at MordHaus, whos peacful sleep was about to end as he would have to face the source of his emotional rollar coaster head on. Toki smiled, leaning against Charles and nuzzling his bear as the car headed back towards home.

[Anonymouse]

Aw. This part made me feel so hopeful. I'm glad Toki's starting to feel better, and Skwisgaar too. I smiled everytime Charles blessed them. It's kind of ridiculous how happy that made me. The image of Skwisgaar all sick on the couch, I don't care when he last showered, I'd be curled up with him in a heartbeat. Poor Toki, apologizing for sneezing, he's so cute I can't stand it. I can't wait until they're back together again, it'll be interesting to see what happens.

[kilala]

Ok well it was not my origianal intention for the to be the last part of this story, but that's what ended up happening. I'm pretty happy with it overall, and I'm proud of myself for actually finishing a story. So I hope you like it, it actually has a pretty happy ending (shocker I know.) So yea, this is part 7, the final part.

Charles opened the door to the huge house and walked inside as if it was nothing. Toki, however, stopped in the doorway, extremely hesitant. Charles glanced back to see him cowering timidly, his eyes darting around the room.

"Their all still asleep Toki, don't worry, it's fine." Charles offered the younger man his hand and he took it almost immediately, no doubt seeking any form of comfort, but as footsteps began echoing down the hall, he shrunk back further. Murderface appeared from the hallway and spotted them, looking shocked a moment then his expression quickly changed to one of malice.

"What are you doing here? I thought you wash dead! I wash gonna throw a party!" At this remark tears welled up in Toki's eyes, and murderface burst out laughing.

"William, that's enough." Charles said sternly, though he knew the bassist wouldn't listen.

"Look at you, you big baby! You should just go and kill yourshelf, the world would be a better plash!" He began laughing again as Toki turned towards the wall, trying to hide his face, though his sobs were quite audiable now. Charles was about to intervene when Skwisgaar joined them. Without a word, the blonde guitarist walked deleberaitly to Murderface, eyes blazing, and punched him in his stomach. He clutched it and fell to the floor in a heap. "Stupid dildos." He muttered, then walked over to where Toki stood and placed a long thin hand on his quivering shoulder. "Tokis comes on." Toki kept his face to the ground, concealed by his long hair, but let Skwisgaar guide him down the hallway and into his room. Charles followed silently, standing in the doorway as the lead guitarist helped Toki sit on the edge of the bed, then sat down next to him. Toki was trembling, strands of hair sticking to his tear stained face. He refused to look up, he sat on his hands and rocked back and forth slightly, sniffling in an attempt to regain his control.

"Toki, looks at me." The rythym guitarist first shook his head, but Skwisgaar slowly, carefully reached up to pull his hair back out of his face. Toki didn't move as the Swede gathered it and gently tied it with an elastic band he had had around his wrist. The young man still wouldn't look up, so Skwisgaar gently touched his cheek, wiping away a stray tear, and finally Toki turned and met his eyes. Skwisgaar held his gaze steady and spoke calmly and clearly.

"Tokis, listens to me. You ams gon bes ok. I ams not mads at yous. Everythinks ams fines. So don't worrys abouts nothins. Its ok." Toki just stared blankly at him, tears continuing to spill from his eyes.

"You hears me Tokis? You ams ok, everything ams oks." Skwisgaar then reached out to stroke the guitarists silky brown hair. Toki was reminded of his father, the affection he never ot as a child, the pain and rejection he had felt so often, and he broke. Like a balloon too full of air bursting, he wailed loudly and buried himself in his band mates chest. He cried and cried, thorughly soaking Skwisgaars black tank top with his tears. He literally cried himself to sleep, hie sobs trailing off as his body became too exauhsted to produce anymore, and Skwisgaar just held him, not saying a word, just being there. He knew that was what Toki needed, the comfort and affection he'd never had before. At some point, he must have fallen asleep too, because he awoke with a start when his phone buzzed next to his ear. He picked it up and saw a new message from Charles scrolling across the screen. 'Meeting in 15, everyone needs to be there.' He sat the phone back on the nightstand and turned over to where Toki lay, shaking him gently on the shoulder.

"Tokis, wakes up, we has a meetings." Skwisgaar stopped and drew his hand back sharply, for Toki had let out a wail of terror and began shaking and tossing around violently, his eyes still closed.

"Father no, comes back! I kills you, I dids it, I's a moiderer, I's bad!" Skwisgaar bent down until his mouth was right at Toki's ear and took his hand, squeezing it as he spoke loudly to him.

"Tokis wake ups! You ams home yous safes, yous not bad. Toki!" He pulled the Norweigans eyelid back with his fingers, getting nothing but a blank, distant stare.

"Toki wakes up!! Stops it, you ams ok!" Skwisgaar wasn't sure what to do as Toki was now hyperventialting, his eyes had flew open and stared fixedly at the ceiling, seeing nothing but his nightmare.

"Snaps outs of it Toki! Dammit, wakes up!" Skwisgaar had never felt so helpless. Panicked, he ran into the bathroom and filled a plastic cup with cold water, ran back to where Toki lay wriggling, and splashed it on his face. He emitted one last blood curdling screech then fell silent, eyes closed, breathing even.

"Tokis? Ams you oks?" He slowly opened his eyes, and looked around, clearly disoreinted.

"Wha-whats this? Where ams I?" He suddenly brought his hand to his face and snapped foward "Heh H'ekshaa! H'Ishoo!" He now seemed aware of where he was, almost as if his little fit just moments ago hadn't happened. He stretched and yawned widely.

"Skwisgaar, what ams going ons?" Skwisgaar sat there, stunned, not able to process what he had just witnessed.

"Does you nots remembers whats just happeneds?" At this, Toki looked bewildered.

"We tooks a naps, rights?" Suddenly the guitarist turned and muffled another sneeze into Skwisgaar's fur blanket "Hgnst'choo!"

"Yes but yous hads a bad dreams I thinks, you was screaming." Toki stared blankly at him

"I don'ts remembers." The rythm guitarist looked as if he was trying to remember, but seemed unable to come up with anything. Skwisgaar stood up and offered Toki his hand, assuming that nightmares like that would be the norm for a while and it was nothing to worry about.

"Comes ons, Charles says we has a meetings." Toki allowed Skwisgaar to help him up and reluctantly let go of his hand as the two men walked down the hallway together. Skwisgaar stopped about halfway to the meeting room, turning towards the wall as he drew in a deep breath.

"Skwisgaar, wha-"

"Hxgst'choo! Hmp'choo! Ishoo!" He then sniffed a few times and continued walking as if nothing had happened.

"Blesses yous!" Toki chirped, and skwisgaar playfully pushed the rythym guitarists lightly, smirking at him.

"Shuts up Tokis."

"Makes me!" He cried, then began running down the hall, chanting 'you can't catch me'.

Huh. Toki seemed perfectly fine, in fact better than he had in a long time. He was getting some of his playful nature back, and he seemed to feel better too.

So what had happened while he was sleeping? And why was he all of a sudden seemingly snapped out of the slump he'd been in?

"Hey slows pokes, comes on! Charles is waitings on us.!" Skwisgaar decided he would talk to Charles after the meeting. He caught up to Toki easily with his long legged strides, and the two of them entered and sat down together.

"Ok, now that everyone is here, I just have something I'd like to say to all of you," Charles paused and glanced at Toki, "There have been alot of things happening lately that have been difficult to deal with for all of us, but I just want you all to be nice and be supportive of each other. I don't want to hear any hurtful remarks," he shot a glare at murderface, "or see any violence. Do I make myself clear?" They all murmured in agreement, and the manager seemed satisfied enough. "Good, that's all, good day to you all." With that he stood and left, leaving the five band mates sitting there in an akward silence. Murderface got up and stalked out of the room, not looking at any of them. Toki broke the silence moments later with a loud "Hek'shaa! Hept'choo!" He sniffed and got up as well to leave, and Skwisgaar followed, leaving Nathan and Pickles in the room.

"Tokis, I needs to talks to Charles. Yous bes ok for a fews minutes?" The brunet nodded, his hair bouncing around his face, and rubbed at his nose roughly.

"I thinks I'll takes a showers, I needs ones." He sniffed himself warily then turned towards his room. "I bes in heres when yous dones!" He called over his shoulder as he dissapeared behind the door.

"Skwisgaar knocked and opened the door, poking his head in timidly "Charles?"

"Over here Skwisgaar, come in." He looked around for a second and spotted Charles in his swivel chair by the huge bay window, writing on some kind of document. Before Skwisgaar had a chance to speak, he was overtaken by three more sneezes "Hi'Ishoo! Heh'chaa! Heh-Hept'chaa!" He fell into the armchair next to Charles' desk as Charles blessed him and offered him a tissue, which he refused. "Charles I wants to talks to yous abouts Tokis."

"About the incident that occured before the meeting?"

"Yes. Waits, how did you knuh" he sniffed harshly and tried to aleviate the tickle by rubbing his nose, but it won out in the end. "Huh'Eshoo! Hgnst'choo! It'chew!"

"Bless you Skwisgaar, and I know because I was passing by outside and I heard it, and I already know what caused it because I was there the first time it happened in the hosptial, and when the therapist talked to him and diagnosed him with post traumatic stress disorder. I assume you know what that is?"

"Isn'ts it wheres you has flashbacks whats things that makes you scareds?"

"Yes, and the person will black out during the flashback and not recall it even seconds after. They can happen while the person is awake or asleep. The death of Toki's father triggered many feelings that had been lying dormant for a long time. Toki is mentally not very well, he will be in therapy for a long time, and may have to take medicine too. PTSD can be a very debilitating thing, but we're going to try our best to keep it from hindering him in any way."

"But whats triggers its with hims?"

"More than likely violence and abuse, whether physical or verbal, even if he's just witnessing it. That's why I told everyone to avoid any of that stuff around him for now. If you would help me enforce that I would really appreciate it."

"Ja, I helps yous." He began rubbing his nose and blinking his eyes rapidly, trying to feign off any more sneezes.

"Skwisgaar it's not good to hold your sneezes in, you do know that right?"

Shut uh..Uh'Het'chaa! Hxgst'choo! Hmp'choo! Shuts up."

"Very well, but back to Toki, he seems to be in much better spirits when your around, and also much less fearful of the rest of the guys, like you're his bodyguard."

"Ja, so whats thats means?"

"It means he needs you right now, so just stay close and keep an eye on him. I think it will really make the whole healing process much easier for him."

"Hgnst'choo! Ok, I'll tr-Uh'Ishoo! It'chew!," He sniffed a few times, "I'll trys."

"Bless you. Just be there that's all you have to do, okay?" Skwisgaar thought of the other man, he thought about how much he cared for him, how even though he tried to hid it, he loved him. And then he thought of being his bodyguard, like his guardian angel, and he couldn't help but smile. He left the office and went back to Toki's room. The young brunet Norwegian was standing in his boxers in front of the mirror, pulling a bush through his long, wet hair, humming softly to himself. He stopped suddenly and turned to the side, his head bobbing foward with three sneezes. "Hept'chaa! H'Ikishoo! Hek'chaa!" He rubbed his nose briefly then returned to his brushing. It was in that moment that Skwisgaar reazlized how beautiful Toki was, and how wonderful and smart and funny and downright adorable he was. He waltzed up to him slowly, deliberatly, and wrapped his arms around the smaller mans waist. Toki didn't jump or try to pull away, he just smiled and leaned his head back against Skwisgaars chest, also knowing that this just felt right. Suddenly Toki was overcome with the urge to sneeze again, and he squashed his nose against Skwisgaars arm in an attempt to stifle them. "Hng'choo! Hmp'choo!"

Skwisgaar chuckled and put his lips to Tokis ear.

"Blesses you Tokis. Jag älskar dig"

Toki spun around in the Swede's arms and nuzzled against his neck.

"Jeg elsker deg Skwisgaar."

Then Toki pushed himself up on his toes and Skwisgaar bent slightly as their lips met and they felt as if they had floated up into space, and in both their hearts they knew that everything was truely gonna be alright.

[Anonymouse]

AAHH! This was so cute! I love that ending!

But omg, Murderface. I wanted to kill him in the beginning. So glad Skwisgaar punched him (even though reading about what Charles said later, it probably wasn't a good idea to do it in front of Toki). I almost died of sadness at how scared Toki was to come into the house.

I loved the playful little part in the hallway (and Skwisgaar's sneezes ) I love how they keep blessing each other too. I really love what you did with their relationship.

"But whats triggers its with hims?"

"More than likely violence and abuse, whether physical or verbal, even if he's just witnessing it.

I think Mordhaus is the worst possible place for him. I hope they all listen to Charles and behave. And hopefully no concerts for a while.

And then he thought of being his bodyguard, like his guardian angel, and he couldn't help but smile.

------>

(In case that didn't make sense... my heart went boom right about there.)

I love these two. So much. And I love this story. And I'm really sad that it's over. And I can't get the image of Toki brushing his hair in front of the mirror and sneezing in nothing but boxers out of my head.

PLEASE WRITE MORE OF THESE TWO ASAP. Until then I will sustain myself on your awesome Pickles/Charles story.