Mouse's Drabbles (m & f)

[Anonymouse]

The new rash of Superjail material has inspired me. I had a few small story ideas for the show so I decided to start a new drabble thread. I’m still working on the Dethdrabbles but I want to reserve those exclusively for Metalocalypse. This thread will be Superjail, more Metalocalypse (I’m using a random word generator so the prompts will be different from those in Natto’s drabble challenge), other shows/bands/books/movies, and my original characters. I also probably won’t stick to the 100-word limit as rigidly as I do in Dethdrabbles. I’ve found while it’s helped me learn how to be more concise, I sometimes feel like I’m sacrificing quality for brevity.

These first two are Superjail and my original characters. I came up with Andie and Ruska about a week ago and they’re my first new characters in months (I used to come up with new ones every other week because my mind has this persistent need to populate itself with fictitious people). This is the first thing I’ve written for them and they’re the first characters I’ve made specifically with this forum in mind (besides the ones Blah-San and I came up with for a roleplay) so they’re still fairly underdeveloped. They’re also girls, which is rare for me. Trying new things!

The Warden's a hoarder lul.

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Tomorrow

Superjail – The Warden (m)

Word count: 561

“What’s this?”

The Warden speared the piece of paper with the end of his cane, tearing it from Jared’s grasp. The smaller man jumped, trying pathetically to grab it back, but the Warden merely leaned against his cane, his eyes scanning the list before widening in surprise.

“Spring cleaning, Jared?” he cried indignantly. “You know I keep this place impeccably clean so we don’t have to dedicate an entire day out of the year to hauling out garbage. Besides, spring doesn’t officially start until tomorrow.”

“Of course, sir,” Jared said quickly, trying to keep the Warden’s attention on himself and not the trashcan full of papers that Alice was currently carting out of the Warden’s office. “I just found this on one of the inmates and, uh… confiscated it.”

Jared gestured for Alice to hurry up without the slightest hint of subtlety which, of course, went unnoticed by the Warden, who was too busy admiring his own reflection in a hallway mirror. Alice paused to place one hand sassily on her hip, flipping Jared off with the other before continuing down the hallway with the can.

The Warden began heading towards his office and Jared staggered after him, trying to stall. “Wouldn’t you rather get some breakfast first?” he suggested, and the Warden paused to regard Jared skeptically, his hand on the doorknob of his office door.

“I have a Nutrigrain bar in my desk,” he said, slowly turning the knob while continuing to observe Jared suspiciously.

Jared gulped as the Warden pushed his door open, taking a step inside but then pausing, his eyes widening at the sight.

The drawers appeared to have been removed from his desk and emptied into plastic garbage bags. One twin was running a vacuum while the other sat on top of the empty book shelf, dusting absently as he read through a copy of Naturalis Historia. They glanced up and smiled in unison in lieu of their usual enigmatic comments, as they could tell the Warden was about to have an amusing outburst and they did not want to interrupt. “Jared, what is this?” he demanded, turning on the small, trembling man. “Who gave you permission to clean my office?”

One long stride and he was kneeling beside his desk, fishing frantically through a particularly distended plastic bag. “You’re throwing away my life, Jared!” he exclaimed, pulling out an old dusty Chubs receipt from the year 2008 and thrusting it at his accountant.

Jared watched nervously as the Warden continued flinging the contents of the bag around the room, the ensuing cloud of dust paying testament to the fact that most of these objects had not been touched in years. “Sir, maybe you should –” Jared began, pausing when the Warden suddenly stopped of his own accord.

The Warden’s eyes closed and he shakily lifted a gloved hand to his face. “Ehktishh!” He had just enough time to steady his top hat before snapping forward again. “Ekhtisshoo! Kshhoo!”

Jared rushed to fetch the spare handkerchief that remained in one of the desk drawers with a select few items, handing it to his indisposed boss. “Th-th-thaaehh… ehkshoo!” He sniffled petulantly before blowing his nose. “Thanks Jared.”

“No problem, sir.”

A moment of contemplative silence, broken only by another “Hmpftshhh,” muffled this time into the handkerchief. “Jared?”

“Yes sir?”

“Get rid of this junk.”

“Certainly, sir.”

---

Kiss

Original – Andie (f)

Word count: 368

“Ehhshiew! Heh… hehgxshiew! Heh-heh… heh-ISHiew!”

Ruska’s expression softened as she watched those pretty pale ringlets jostle with each sneeze. She told herself she had no reason to feel guilty, that what the woman had done bordered on assault, but honestly, did a drunk, playful kiss really warrant a face full of pepper spray?

When the fit showed no hint of subsiding Ruska snatched up a couple of cocktail napkins and passed them guiltily to the blonde, who managed a shaky “Ch-cheers” before clenching the paper around her nose. “Ixgshieew!”

Ruska watched and wondered how she could have mistaken such delicate hands for a man’s, how they could have felt so large and rough against her cheeks. She relaxed a little as the young woman lowered the napkins and sniffled, her eyes and nostrils tinged pink.

“Pepper spray always sobers me right up,” the blonde exclaimed, interrupting herself with a few more desperate, cleansing sneezes. “Hihsshhhhiew! Hehhshhiew! Hhh-hihhsshiew!”

“Always?” Ruska asked as the blonde slid down in her seat melodramatically, seemingly drained of her vitality. “It's happened more than once?”

She nodded, sprawling out in a very unladylike fashion, her legs parted to allow the rest of the party a full view up her leather skirt. Ruska couldn’t help but smile at this, at the red, lip-shaped marks the blonde had left on her napkins. She brought her fingers to her own lips, touching them lightly and checking her fingertips for color. Not even the faintest trace of red. She felt vaguely disappointed.

“I’m a serial kisser,” the blonde sighed, as if confessing to some shameful addiction. “I can’t help it. I love lips.”

Ruska could not even begin to imagine what a ‘cereal kisser’ was. Probably some English slang she had not yet familiarized herself with. “I should have asked first,” the blonde continued. “I should have at least given you my name.”

“Your name?”

“It’s Andrea.” Her long, dark eyelashes fluttered shut, her breath hitching daintily. Ruska expected an equally dainty sneeze to follow but Andrea sneezed openly, unapologetically, aiming at the floor between her legs. “Ehhshhhiew!”

“I’m Ruska.”

“Ruska? You have beautiful lips. May I kiss them?”

Ruska's beautiful lips parted in a smile. “Why not?”

Edited May 11, 2011 by AnonyMouse

[kilala]

Love these, I'm not familiar with superjail but it sounds interesting. And I really like your characters

I also must say I love your new sig, that scene is hilarious. It's one of my favorite episodes.

[Anonymouse]

Thanks! I love when they eat the berries and get sick. So so stupid.

I love your new avatar!

[kilala]

Haha I know it's great

thank you, your's too, Pickles is awesome