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Crossover Crisis #3: Crush Everyone (F)


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- In case you're coming in late, basic story is that different villains across various games are kidnapping their heroes and its up to the female stars to save the day. You can read a mildly less shoddy summary back in chapter #1

- Glad to see so many of you are enjoying this craziness, because I've got a quite a bit more planned

- The average lifespan of a villain in NMH is about ten minutes, so there isn't really any consistent one for the series. I chose Destroyman because he actually came back rebuilt once, and because he's hilarious

- If you've never heard of NMH, rest assured it's one of the best (and most graphic) games on the Wii and you should totally check it out if you're into some good cathartic violence




“So, you’re supposed to be the big tough ‘Perfect Fighter’ that beat Ryu, huh?” Chun-Li strolled forward towards the rocky ledge where the cyborg was standing with Ryu tied up behind him. She sighed. “Why is it that every time some jerk invents a robot that can do battle, they go and call it the ‘Perfect Fighter’? Machines are far from perfect. Heck, my cellphone doesn’t even get service half the time, and that’s just a little bundle of wires and chips, not even something so complex as a battledroid”

“I’M DESTROYMAN!” The cyborg shouted in a vaguely human, mechanical voice as it challengingly pointed a finger at Chun-Li. Her feet instinctively shifted in the dirt to assume a fighting stance, squared beneath her shoulders. She raised her hands in preparation to receive an attack, but Destroyman merely continued shouting.


At this point Chun-Li noticed that the cyborg had several scorchmarks on its metallic body, and a bruise on the only organic part of it: the right side of its face. She smiled to herself. “So, he really put up a fight before you got him, huh?”


The cyborg leapt down from the outcropping of rock where it was standing, and as it did so a number of other clones of itself, each one distinct only because of a different organic part, emerged from behind other rocks and boulders around the rocky trail. The Chinese martial artist was quickly surrounded by a dozen or more of them, each one shouting “I’M DESTROYMAN!” upon their arrival. Chun-Li shook her head.

“So, we’ve got ourselves a real match. Come on then, let’s see what you guys can do!”

She backflipped into the air, landing a spinning kick to the face of one of the Destroymen behind her. As another two moved forward to grab her, she used the recoil of her kick to bounce backwards and perform a split kick to both of their chests. Not slowing down her assault, she spun backwards and delivered a haymaker to another, ducking below its counterattack and sweeping its legs from underneath it.

“Is that really all you’ve got? You’re not going to beat me with just brute strength, you know.”

The other Destroymen charged forward at her in unison, but she dodged their tackles with such speed that several ended up running into each other. One, however, held back and raised its hands to its forehead in a triangle shape, as its single robotic eye began to glow.


Chun-Li had just enough time to turn away and shield her eyes as a blinding light burst forward from the cyborg’s head. When it faded, she lunged forward and delivered a lightning-fast series of kicks to it, pummeling it backwards into a boulder.

“Ha! Cheap tricks now? I’m a little too quick for something so simple…”

“DESTROY CLOUD!” Another of the Destroymen had come up behind her and launched a cloud of black dust from a hidden compartment in its chest. Chun-Li was unable to avoid it in time, and as the powder entered her eyes and nose she felt her entire face contort as a humongous itch fanned out across it.

“HETCHOOOUH! Hatchoo Hah-Hatchoooh Atchuuh Ahh-CHOOUM!”

As she was occupied by the sudden sneezing attack, the Destryomen moved forward again and began raining down punches, only a few of which she was able to block by pure luck.


Though she could’ve easily countered their simple punches ordinarily, the fiery burning in her nose and eyes made her only response a defensive curl and more sneezes into the dusty ground.

“Hatchhou! Hatchoo-uh! Atchh! Atchhh! Atshoouh! Ahh-Tchoouh! Atchooum!”

Finally, when she was able to regain moderate control of herself as the sneezing subsided, she rolled away from the gang as another storm of blows landed around her. With a superhuman leap, she jumped up to the rocky ledge the original Destroyman was standing on, landing beside Ryu. Her eyes and nose were streaming down her face, trying to flood the powder out, and she wiped at both of them with one hand while using the other to charge up her Chi for an energy attack. However, the Destroymen had the same idea.



A laser blast emerged from the crotch of one of the Destroymen, canceling out the blue energy blast she had fired. However, several other Destroymen were charging up their own lasers, and Chun-Li knew she couldn’t block them all. She jumped off of the ledge, spinning through the air to dodge several more of the lasers, and landing with another kick to the chest of a cybernetic opponent. However, it was prepared for her counterattack.


Once again, Chun-Li was blasted by the black powder full-force. The itchy particles filled her airways, transforming her every breath into either a gasp or a sneeze.

“Haaah-CHOOOUUM! Ahhh-Ahhh-Atcchuuh Hatchuuuh! Hah! HAH! HATCHOUUH Atchoouum Ah Atchoum! Hatchoouhhh! Hahhh-Atchoum! Hatchouum! Haaaah-Hah-HATCHOOOUUUH!”

She was completely overtaken by sneezing, but she was not completely vulnerable. She had been trained in a vast number of martial arts techniques, including the art of “blind fighting”: using her Chi to perceive an opponent’s presence and attacks with a sixth sense, when all her others were disabled. Though she continued her desperate sneezes, each one was timed with the blocking of another punch or kick from one of the many Destroymen surrounding her.

“Atshooum! Atcchooum! Ah-Ahh-Chouuh Atchhhoouhh! Hah-Atchoouhh! Atshouuh! Haah-Tchoum Hatchou HATSHOOUUM!”

Her eyes watered, her throat burned, her nose itched, her entire face was twitching, and her sneezing was uncontrollable, but Chun-Li still managed to focus on defending herself against the Destroymen’s attacks. She ignored all the discomfort with the persistence of a Zen monk. And because of her effort, she noticed something critical about her opponents. Their Chi, rather than being spread out across their entire body like a normal human, was focused into a single spot on each of them. The only part of them that remained human, she theorized. If she could’ve managed it through her sneezing, she would have smiled. This would prove to be a fatal weakness.

Sensing an opening in the Destroymen’s mostly random attack pattern, she dodged out of the gang circling around her and concentrated on gathering energy for her counterattack. Although the itchy feeling in her nose was still urging her to sneeze, she was able to keep it suppressed for just long enough to power up a larger energy blast.


The energy blast sent the enemies closest to her flying backwards, and she followed up with a series of carefully placed attacks to the weak points on each one. She had to give in to her itchy sinuses now, but she was nonetheless able to continue her final barrage by timing each of her strikes with one of her sneezes.

“Hatchouh! Hiyatchooum! Ahh-Chooum! Kaah-Tchouh!”

Finally, the final cyborg fell to Chun-Li’s relentless attacks. Panting hard, her breathing labored from the physical exertion and the intense sneezing during the onslaught, she kneeled down to the ground, wiping her nose and eyes on her sleeve. When she had recovered, she began climbing up the rocky ledge to awaken Ryu, thinking about how she would recount the battle for his rescue to him. After replaying what the fight must have looked like in her mind, she determined that the only necessary information was that she defeated his captors, and that exactly how it was accomplished could remain undisclosed.

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These just keep getting better and better! Once again, great job!

I wonder which games will be used for part 4...

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Whoah - how have I been missing this?!? AMAZING :) Chun-Li is... quite a woman :drool: and I have tried to imagine her sneezing before. Part 4 beckons...? :hug:

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