Is your fetish sadistic?

[VoOs]

For me, the element of suffering has always been a very important part of my sneezing fetish. The more miserable and helpless an allergy-sufferer feels, the sexier I tend to find it. Someone enjoying their own sneezing is usually an instant turn-off. I might still enjoy the sneezing, but not in a sexual way. In order to do that, I need to see discomfort, frustration and desperation, the more intense the better. This mostly applies to fiction, but if I can also convince myself that the person sneezing somehow deserves their misery, it all gets ten times hotter. I like to think that I'm not a very malicious person at all, but the fetishist in me sure is. An arrogant arsehole sneezing is much sexier than a likeable person sneezing, no matter how attractive I happen to find them in other situations.

So, uh, yeah. I definitely see my fetish as both sadistic and schadenfreude-ic. How about you? Thoughts?

[Stimuli]

Yeees

[polychrome]

I do like to see people feeling miserable...but I don't like to inflict misery. So when my husband lets me induce him, I prefer that it doesn't hurt or bother him too much, because I don't think it's right for my pleasure to directly cause him discomfort or pain. However, it's totally hot when he has a cold or allergies that knock him on his bottom and I can coo and coddle and secretly delight. Also, I prefer nice people to jerks...it makes them that much more helpless and vulnerable, and I don't really want to like jerks.

[PaperThings]

To a degree.

I like it if a guy's cold is making him miserable... but only if then my comfort makes him feel better, or if I get to be the one alleviating the misery in some way. The same way I fantasize about like, holding a guy while he cries. It goes with the whole care-taking/vulnerability thing (and you can't exactly care for someone who isn't miserable...)

[Anonymouse]

I only like suffering if it's in fiction. In real life I assume the caretaker role, but when I write I torture the shit out of my characters. I go through phases where one receives the brunt of my torture and the others just step out of the way to avoid becoming my next victim.

One of my long-time roleplaying partners said she feels the same way, but not about sickness or sneezing. She just likes to put certain characters through as much shit as possible because it's fun. For me it might just be a writer thing more than a sneeze thing, but usually when I torture my characters my weapon of choice is illness or allergies.

Interesting topic.

[Nicole]

Discomfort actually quite unnerves me. When someone is feeling really terrible because they're sick, I just start feeling all sorts of nervous and uncomfortable. I don't know why, but there it is. I could never get off on that!

[iheartsneezn]

I do find it alot more attractive if the sneezes seem to be getting on the persons nerves, and I also like it if the person curses in frustration during a fit.

[tma]

It factors in a bit for me. In fics I don't have a problem "torturing" my characters to an extent- although... hey they have people taking care of them, so ... I have the whole divided type of feeling in reality. I feel melty and such, and a little guilty and Not wanting them to Really feel icky, but enjoying certian things ... and wanting to help in my own way. (I ummm.... I may have made a little "get better" basket when I was in uni ). Although... I'll confess that guys being total babies about colds is Not a turn-on. I'd rather a sort of divided response where there is sort of embarrassment but sort of thankful for nice things that I would do, or neutral is fine too, just not whiny or "Taaaaake care of beeee" .

[vote_for_pedro]

Oh my god, yes. A little misery/embarrassment goes a loooooong way for me! Particularly the embarrassment part. Not sure why, but the mild humiliation factor rocks my socks a little harder than the physical discomfort.

However, it's easy for me to get too much of a good thing. If the person is really suffering, I can't help feeling bad for them. Then I feel conflicted for enjoying it.

Also, if they complain too much it becomes a turn off. Whiny little bitch? No thank you.

[tma]

Oh my god, yes. A little misery/embarrassment goes a loooooong way for me! Particularly the embarrassment part. Not sure why, but the mild humiliation factor rocks my socks a little harder than the physical discomfort.

However, it's easy for me to get too much of a good thing. If the person is really suffering, I can't help feeling bad for them. Then I feel conflicted for enjoying it.

Also, if they complain too much it becomes a turn off. Whiny little bitch? No thank you.

Yes!! How is it that you could peek into my brain? The conflicted thing and reall not wanting them to be Really miserable.

[Shay]

Hmmm it probably is for me. I know I really love to torture characters when writing, and with the stories I've been thinking up in my head lately a lot of times it even goes far beyond regular allergy stuff and then my characters end up in the hospital. It's not really that that extreme allergy stuff turns me on or anything, but in some way I do enjoy reading and writing that kind of thing. Maybe I really enjoy torturing the hell out of characters cause I feel so ill all the time due to chronic illness and I want them to be miserable too. And maybe part of it is that sometimes I wish I could take a vacation in the hospital just to have someone take care of me for awhile so I have that happen to my characters.

I've actually contemplated bringing up my tendency to torture characters in writing, without mentioning the sneezing fetish, to my therapist, but I doubt I'll go through with it.

[SweaterWeather]

For me, it's the miserable suffering that makes sneezing/sneezing scenarios pleasurable. Just.....guh ajdbhsjvklbmbmn,lpgoidjdhjd

[BootyBurgers]

I'm totally the same way

[NoV]

Hmmm... interesting topic I don't really get the whole suffering thing, and it actually makes me feel a little uncomfortable if I feel that I am getting enjoyment out of someone elses misfortune... However, for me its much more about the embarrassment rather than the illness/care-taking aspect - maybe thats why I'm not especially into cold sneezing? I'd rather see a healthy person have a sneezing fit than someone who was ill.

[Kiwifruit]

I do like to see people feeling miserable...but I don't like to inflict misery. So when my husband lets me induce him, I prefer that it doesn't hurt or bother him too much, because I don't think it's right for my pleasure to directly cause him discomfort or pain. However, it's totally hot when he has a cold or allergies that knock him on his bottom and I can coo and coddle and secretly delight. Also, I prefer nice people to jerks...it makes them that much more helpless and vulnerable, and I don't really want to like jerks.

You said it perfectly This is exactly how I am too.

[Chanel_no5]

Oh absolutely!

I mean, I don't want anyone's life to be risked, but... if it's not unbearable misery to the sneezer, it's no hot for me.

And yes yes yes to watch high and mighty assholes succumbing to sneezing fits...

[zneeze]

'Sadistic' is a strong word I guess in a small way, for me, it is sadistic. 'Schadenfreude' works better for me But while I do enjoy the whole suffering bit, I think the reason I do is that I want to be able to help them, i.e. taking care of a girl with a cold. Is it really sadism if you want to help the person?

[doggo]

Yes, the discomfort is a huge thing for me. And with colds, well, that's what it is, discomfort, nothing more, and I enjoy is greatly in real life too. I enjoy to observe it, and I enjoy the caretaking side too, especially as it give me a reason to meddle, and meddling when someone has a cold is just so sexy. Like some others have mentioned I too can't stand the whining, it totally takes the enjoyment out! But I do enjoy the... endearlingly comical, or comically endearing, I'm not sure, side to the whole pitiful thing that is a bad cold.

But yes even if I have caretaking fantasies, I do actually also think I have a side that would enjoy inflicting discomfort too if that's possible. It's actually part of the enjoyment of drawing pictures and writing fics as I have the contol there and can "make things happen". It's obviously an unexplored area for me IRL but I do have some genuine sadism in me too. It's just far more complicated. I have written that in a fic a couple of times and I really enjoy it. Now when I think of it, it's somehow tied to the idea that I don't need to feel sympathy. In the same way as the whole whiny manflu thing makes me enraged because it feels like demanding sympathy from me.

Complicated. This is a great topic, I'll be reading!

[Prongs]

My feelings are twisted on the matter. For me, it's all about the sneezer's misery, but not wanting to admit it? No, that's not right. More like, that they just can't stop sneezing and have a really bad cold or torturing allergies, but keep going with their life anyway. Complaining can be hot occasionally, but too much =

I'm with everyone who tortures their characters when writing. I find this odd, because in real life I couldn't hurt a fly. The fetishist in me doesn't like life-threatening sickness or allergies, but the author in me certainly does. I will give my characters a cold, allergies, heck, I'll even break a leg or two. It doesn't even have to be fetish-related when it comes to making their lives nightmares, I can put them in any sucky situation and be fine. I think it's because those types of scenes are easier to write than nice, easy breezy pleasant ones. If not easier, than surely more fun.

It's like I have split personalities. The fetishist in me can feel this way about something, the author in me can feel totally the opposite, and I can feel different about both of those opinions. Does this happen to anyone else?

[Pilgrim]

YES. yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes. Humiliation is preferred but all of it is yessssssssssssss.

Yes.

[stevie_sloth]

It's definitely got a sadistic bent for me, as weird as that is to admit. lol

The whole act of sneezing...for me a big part of it is the fact the person probably doesn't want to sneeze but has no control, so HAS to sneeze...and the more the better (for me)...it's the whole desperation thing I find appealing...the person has been inflicted with this unpleasant sensation in their nose and has to get it out even if they don't want to.

If a person has a cold, this is especially fantastic for me as it means many sneezes and sniffles and coughs...

I have this fantasy where someone is MADE to sneeze...like forced sneezing...it's...sadistic. I don't have any interest in hurting people in any way whatsoever, I'm not a sadist in general and don't care for physical or emotional pain, but...sneezing...*melt*

[retrofan191]

It's definitely got a sadistic bent for me, as weird as that is to admit. lol

The whole act of sneezing...for me a big part of it is the fact the person probably doesn't want to sneeze but has no control, so HAS to sneeze...and the more the better (for me)...it's the whole desperation thing I find appealing...the person has been inflicted with this unpleasant sensation in their nose and has to get it out even if they don't want to.

If a person has a cold, this is especially fantastic for me as it means many sneezes and sniffles and coughs...

I have this fantasy where someone is MADE to sneeze...like forced sneezing...it's...sadistic. I don't have any interest in hurting people in any way whatsoever, I'm not a sadist in general and don't care for physical or emotional pain, but...sneezing...*melt*

We are the same person! :'D

[stevie_sloth]

*creeped out* Maybe we really ARE the same person! Except you're 11 years younger than me and a guy! LOL But even so...*creeped* Heheh

[Sternuto]

Not only yes, but HELL YES!!

Ever since I was a kid (Im talkin' 6... 7 years old.... maybe younger) I fantasized about a magic ring that I would wear that when by pointing my finger at the little girl of my choice (or teacher... actress.... character.... local TV personality....), it would induce insufferable, helpless, body controlling sneezing fits! No mercy given!

I still use this fantasy from time to time!

Edited August 6, 2011 by Sternuto

[Marshmallow Peep]

Sometimes. Other than that I enjoy it no matter what. I've actually been told by some friends that they think I'm a sadist... but I'm not really sure.