Would telling your SO ruin it?

[RSB]

I've only been in a relationship once before and I never said anything about my fetish mostly because I was simply to shy about it all--still am really. But I also wondered if telling them about the fetish might ruin it--my enjoyment of their sneezing that is.

After all if someone knows you're turned on by their sneezing then the vulnerability aspect of it is really diminished right? They've no need to be embarrassed--which can be so endearing--because they'll know you like it. And what if they become really self-conscious about sneezing in front of you? Or change the way they sneeze?

And there's also something oddly enjoyable about being able to have a secret little happy-moment when they sneeze...On the other hand I'd really want to tell them, if just to have that freedom of total honesty you know?

Anyway sort of pointless musings as I'm single at the mo but I was wondering what you all thought.

[Chanel_no5]

I feel this topic has been discussed before, in different shapes, many, many times...

But yeah. It would probably pretty much ruin it for me, because it's the very embarrassment and vulnerability that I like. If they get to use it against me, kind of, it would do nothing for me instead.

And then there's the complete honesty and openness issue... I want to be open with my life-partner, but would it ruin it for me fetish-wise? Not sure, but I'd think so.

[SneezeDoc4u]

I told a previous SO. She did embrace it in the beginning and it really added to other apsects of our relatinoship. However, her natural ones went away for ~ 8 months after I told her and she didnt do it around me anymore. It did eventually come back. In the end we fought about it b/c she didnt want to incorporate it into the bedroom and felt as though I "needed it" I would debate as to whether to tell anyone again...

[March Hare]

Hasn't ruined it for me. On the contrary. But then again, I'm not such a big vulnerability/embarrassment fan as all that.

[Jorm]

I'm generally more comfortable with my partner being aware of fetish. I don't like always having to be hyper conscious of how I react to them sneezing. There is obviously the risk they knowing about it might make them uncomfortable sneezing in front of me and develop some sort of mental block around it, but I think I'd almost prefer that to having them sneeze and not being able to openly jump on them It would suck if they weren't willing to ever indulge me once they knew about my fetish, but I suspect I wouldn't be especially attracted to the type of person who would have issues with fetishiness. And while I do like the awkward/embarrassment factor of sneezing, I'm not sure I agree that that aspect of things would be automatically eliminated by my partner knowing it turned me on.

[Bubbles]

I used to talk about the fetish to real life people, and I told boyfriends in the past, particularly when the fetish was still new and exciting to me. I remember one more serious, long-term relationship in which I told my partner about it, and it totally ruined any enjoyment I got from sneezing, and from his sneezing, because everytime he sneezed I felt he was looking at me to see if it got a reaction. It stopped being fun, and I don't tell partners now I do tell them I have a secret fetish.. but they will never know what it is That's much more fun

[Vetinari]

it totally ruined any enjoyment I got from sneezing, and from his sneezing, because everytime he sneezed I felt he was looking at me to see if it got a reaction.

I agree with this. ... there are few things I can imagine that would be more off-putting than someone sneezing and then looking round for attention like a dog that has done something clever! Especially if you weren't in the mood or if (like me) one sneeze on its own rarely does anything for you anyway.

But the vulnerability aspect doesn't affect me either. I don't particularly want the person to be embarrassed so that wouldn't come into the equation.

[Sneesee]

I have to say it has it's pro and cons. Sometimes, I get annoyed with him for the comments he'll make, or the looks he'll give me when he or someone sneezes. Luckily he doesn't do it constantly.

But, it's nice to know that I don't have to hide it from him either. I can go on the forum all the time, and not have to worry about deleting and stuff. Plus, I hate having to keep secrets from my spouse. And even though I enjoy the vulnerable part, it doesn't rule me. I can enjoy an induced, or even faked sneeze under the right conditions. So it can be sort of fun when they know. I get to hear all about them sometimes!!

[Lalena]

I have to say it has it's pro and cons. Sometimes, I get annoyed with him for the comments he'll make, or the looks he'll give me when he or someone sneezes. Luckily he doesn't do it constantly.

But, it's nice to know that I don't have to hide it from him either. I can go on the forum all the time, and not have to worry about deleting and stuff. Plus, I hate having to keep secrets from my spouse. And even though I enjoy the vulnerable part, it doesn't rule me. I can enjoy an induced, or even faked sneeze under the right conditions. So it can be sort of fun when they know. I get to hear all about them sometimes!!

^This exactly ...

[Coffee Mug]

I've recently started a new relationship and told him about my fetish a couple of weeks ago. We've been hanging around a lot before becoming a couple and he did not sneeze ONCE.

Since I told him he types me sms telling me that he sneezed 3-4 times but I've never heard/seen him sneeze ONCE and it's driving me completely nuts

I think he has a kind of mental block but then he didn't sneeze in my presence neither before so I don't know...

I also was thorn between keeping the secret or not but then I decided to to tell him and he finds it very amusing and interesting.

But like everyone here said I'd hate if he did (good Lord SNEEZE please) and then watched me to see my reaction. I've already explained him that IF he would have to sneeze I would not transform myself in a crazy horse and jump on him!

[cheech]

For me, yes it'd ruin it. I don't like SO sneezing when its induced- so if they were to do that it'd take the thrill out of the sneezing.

Also, I LOVE the fact that the sneezer dosent know I enjoy it. Like a secret. Its apart of my fetish.

Finally, I wouldnt want them to freak out and feel awkward and uncomfortable sneezing around me- and therefore stop themselves from sneezing altogether D:

Edited August 26, 2011 by cheech

[Dawnie]

But, it's nice to know that I don't have to hide it from him either. I can go on the forum all the time, and not have to worry about deleting and stuff. Plus, I hate having to keep secrets from my spouse. And even though I enjoy the vulnerable part, it doesn't rule me. I can enjoy an induced, or even faked sneeze under the right conditions. So it can be sort of fun when they know. I get to hear all about them sometimes!!

Perfectly said.

[Prodigy]

I told my then-boyfriend about the fetish when we'd been dating for a year, and I have never regretted it. I love the teasing look he'll give me out in public sometimes, and it definitely has intimate benefits as well. Love me, love my kink.