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Bara no Hosuto: A Host of Roses (Secret Santa for Maru-chan!)


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Hi Maru-chan!

Here's the very first part of your gift: I am going to post it in chunks so it's easier to read (it is finished though, I promise

smile.png ) If this story is too long, I'm sorry; I swear I didn't intend for it to be long, but this is where my inspiration took me blushing.gif And to be perfectly honest, everything I write ends up being quite long... so yeah.

I love Ouran with a passion and I worked really hard to stay in character, so I really hope you like this!! Now, I will admit that I've not read the manga, only seen the anime (but about three times! XD) so if I messed up anywhere canon-wise, I sincerely apologize sleep.png


* This story takes place shortly after the end of the anime. However, it's supposing that no one at the Academy found out Haruhi is a girl. :]

* As a rule, I don't write yaoi... HOWEVER, since this is Ouran, I designed this fic to be a shipping free-for-all - i.e., almost any of the known pairings can be construed if one looks at it the right way... not excluding some of the more popular yaoi pairings in this fandom.

* I didn't know who your favorite host boy was, so for the victim, I picked... well never mind, you'll see. heh.gif

Merry Christmas! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season! happy.png

~ smileyfacegirl^^

P.S. This is a dark night rose ^^


~*~ Bara no Hosuto: A Host of Roses ~*~

Naturally, it all began with Tamaki.

It was 4 am, Thursday morning; Kyoya Ootori was fast asleep, having stayed up till around 2:30 finishing his AP trig homework. Hoping to get a few precious hours of rest before school, the last thing he expected was a phone call.

When the shrill tones of the ringer sounded, he tried to ignore it. But it burrowed insistently into his skull, dragging his mind to an unwilling consciousness. Finally, he rolled over and pulled his cell phone off the bedside table. Not bothering to check the caller, he pressed accept. “This. Better. Be. Good.”

Through the fog of his half-awareness, he caught an excitedly whispered, “Kyoya!!

Followed by a jumble of just as excited words that included “dinner,” “out,” “roses!!,” “exquisite,” and “DEAL!

Although the stream of sentences and phrases did not register, the speaker’s identification most assuredly did. Kyoya’s insides began to boil as the voice ran on; the moment it paused, inflection sweeping up into an inquiry, Kyoya exploded.

“Do you have any idea what time it is, Tamaki?? What do you want?!

There was a momentary silence on the other end. Then, unfazed, the boy exclaimed “Good, you’re awake!”

Kyoya felt his blood pressure spike. “Yes, I am, so WHY –”

Tamaki anticipated the question. “I told you.” He took a deep breath. “I attended a business dinner of my father’s in Tokyo, and Shima and I are exploring one of the suburban shopping districts. We’ve found the most ASTOUNDING florist in all of Japan! They have millions upon millions of beautiful roses, Kyoya. I’ve never seen anything like them before, and they’re absolutely perfect for the club room!! And not only are they exquisite, but they’re charging a third of what we normally pay. You hear that? It’s a DEAL!”

Kyoya lost it.

“You called me... at this UNGODLY hour... to tell me about ROSES?! How the hell do I have ANYTHING to do with your stupid shopping spree?”

“But Kyoya...” The voice was oddly patient, considering the reaction it had just been given. “You’re in charge of club purchases. I had to run it by you before I –”

“FINE! If it means you’ll shut up, knock yourself out. I’m going to bed.” Kyoya hung up and chucked the device across the room. Pulling the covers up over his head, he went back to sleep, the incident quickly blending into a stream of tenebrous dreams.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Ouran Academy Host Club log, Spring Semester.

** Thursday, May 21st. Standard operation day.

To Do:

  • Schedule event planning meeting for next week.
  • Assign roles for the finals week party.
  • Restock on refreshments for next week’s standard operation days.
  • Purchase special decorations for Sunday.
  • Tell Tamaki to give special attention to Kyoko, as today is her birthday.
  • Make sure the twins stay out of the other hosts’ areas.
  • Schedule haircut for Haruhi

Kyoya paused, resting his pen against his mouth. The neat lines that marched across the ivory page looked right, but an unformed thought seemed to be nagging at the back of his mind, vague yet persistent. He had a feeling that he was forgetting something... something important. He frowned. That wouldn’t do.

Closing the pen into his tidy black book, he strode across the music room, footsteps tapping on the polished tile floor. The tables and surrounding walkways were free of rambunctious customers and their respective hosts, so Kyoya reached the curtained enclave at the back of the host area with no difficulty. Pushing the brocaded fabric out of the way, he entered the small space and slid into the mahogany seat opposite his matching desk.

Touching the mousepad on his laptop, he checked the time. 3 pm. The twins and Haruhi got out of calligraphy at three o’clock every Thursday, so they should be arriving shortly. The other members would be done at various times between now and 3:45, so that gave him just enough time to finish up his list.

He had laid his book on the desk and was picking up his pen when his cellphone rang. Mildly surprised, he flipped it open.


Hello sir, this is Hayato Higurashi with ‘Haru no Hana’ … I have a delivery for the... um... Ouran Host Club?

Kyoya blinked. “Excuse me?”

The man cleared his throat. “I have here an order of two hundred dozen dark night roses for the Ouran Host Club, care of a Mr. ‘Kyoya Ootori.’ Is that you?”

Kyoya stood, pacing out into the host room. “Yes, I am he,” he replied slowly, “but I’m afraid I didn’t order –”

He stopped cold as it hit him. The phone call. Tamaki. Two hundred dozen roses??

Kyoya felt a headache threatening to develop somewhere behind his eyes. “Oh, yes, that’s right,” he amended, calmly. “Ask the receptionist to direct you to Music Room 3, I’ll complete the order there. Thank you.”

The man sounded rather relieved. “Thank you, sir, I’ll be right up.” He hung up without further ado.

Kyoya snapped the phone closed, his sharp mind processing this new development at lightning speed. Two hundred dozen... that’s two hundred bouquets, which requires two hundred vases... we have one hundred and twenty-five, which means we’ll have to arrange the rest loose, without vases. One hundred and twenty-five, among our fifty tables, plus the ledges and recesses. We can put some along the walls, too; but all in all that’ll still leave about forty bouquets unplaced. We’ll have to use some for petal decoration on the floor and the piano...

Tucking his book neatly under his arm, Kyoya inhaled deeply, then sighed. Two hundred dozen.

“That moron,” he muttered.

He then proceeded to make his way over to the hall entrance to wait.

Presently, the elegant double doors swung open as twenty delivery men began filing in, one after another. Kyoya absentmindedly pushed his glasses up his nose with one finger as he watched them enter. Each was wheeling a handcart with wrapped bouquets nestled in bunches, loosely bound by sheets of plastic. As they unloaded the flowers and began freeing them from their transport-friendly packaging, one man broke away from the others and approached Kyoya.

“Mr. Ootori?”

Kyoya inclined his head slightly. “Yes.” Pulling the pen from the depths of his black folder, he wordlessly reached for the order clipboard the man held out to him. His eye twitched, barely perceptibly, when he saw the price. Apparently, since Tamaki had noted the flowers were a third the price, he had decided to buy four times as many.

That idiot... if he thinks he can keep dishing out that much money on mere decorations, we’ll be broke before the end of the term. He could feel a vein beginning to throb in his forehead, but he inscribed the characters of his name on the form with a steady hand, then handed the board back to the man with his best polite smile. “Thank you for your trouble, sir, have a good day.”

The man returned the smile and bowed. “Thank you, young man. Pleasure doing business with you!” With that, he and his fellow workers ambled out of the room and into the corridor, leaving Kyoya alone amongst the heaps of roses.

When the door closed, Kyoya stooped to examine the club’s newly acquired merchandise. Slowly, he picked up a bouquet, evaluating the blossoms with an experienced eye. With a small sigh, he mentally acknowledged why Tamaki had been so enamored with the flower, for its uniqueness impressed even him.

I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a rose of this color before, he mused grudgingly. Selecting a single flower from the bunch, he brought it closer to his face and studied it from all sides. Yes, it really is remarkable; a dark, dusky red, with an almost violet tinge to it... and the yellow reverse certainly adds an interesting touch.

He placed the rose back into the bouquet and closed his eyes a moment, taking a deep breath. The scent of the flowers was already permeating the air with its exotic perfume, and Kyoya decided that he approved of it. It’s not as subtle as our usual, but it will do. He glanced around at the mounds of flowers. Hmh, it’ll have to.

He shook his head. Tamaki, thanks to you we’re going to use up a month’s worth of roses in a week.

The tall, ebony-haired Ootori boy resigned himself to the situation and gathered up an armful of bouquets to find vases for. The sweet fragrance filled his lungs, dancing its way across his olfactory nerves and caressing the back of his throat. He pulled back from the flowers, startled by their sudden potency. He began to have faint reservations. I hope these don’t overpower the guests, he thought guardedly, setting his armload down on one of the tables and opening his black book once more. Let’s see... Monday’s inventory shows that twenty-seven of our floral units were sent for washing. Hmm. The arrangements may prove challenging, but with the help of the first-years I’ll be able to... Kyoya’s mental calculations trailed off as a prickling sensation manifested somewhere between his throat and nasal cavity. He cleared his throat, expression settling into one of displeasure. That’s odd.

He walked toward the back of the music room again, continuing to hash out the host club practicalities in his mind... but the prickling slowly migrated toward his sinuses and inner ear. He exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose above his glasses, and returned to his enclave.

He had risen far too late to remember to take his allergy medication this morning, but then he had had no reason to be concerned, as he generally didn’t need it. It was mostly his parents’ idea, really, due to the fact that his family was so closely linked to the medical field. Kyoya and his siblings each had a small variety of medications they were supposed to take, according to the assorted “minor flaws in their constitutions,” as his mother liked to say. Kyoya, dutiful son that he was, followed his parents’ pro-health suggestions without question... unless the circumstances made it impractical, like today.

Luckily, he tended to keep some medicines with him at school; for his own use when necessary, and also in case some mishap befell another member of the host club. Therefore, Kyoya opened his school bag and rummaged through it, glancing up at the time on his screen again. 3:10.. and no sign of the first-years yet.

Despite his careful search, however, he found ibuprofen and aspirin and a topical antiseptic... but no antihistamine. Brow furrowing, Kyoya closed his bag and replaced it beneath his chair, weighing his options. Today was the servants’ day off, so there would be no one at the estate at this hour unless Fuyumi had decided to stop by for some reason. He could always try calling, but he would likely be better off just ordering some from the local apothecary. He paused. Is this really necessary? After a moment’s contemplation, the persisting irritation in his throat convinced him that yes, it probably was.

He was just about to dial the number when an exclamatory pair of synchronous voices carried all the way across the music room and into Kyoya’s ‘office.’

Whoa!! Kyoya-senpai!”

Kyoya snapped his phone shut, a look of annoyance flitting across his handsome features. Never mind... now it was necessary to explain the situation thoroughly to the first-years; and, of course, after that the priority would be setting up the flowers before the girls arrived.

Kyoya ducked under the half-draped curtain, book in hand. In front of the double doors, right smack in the middle of the sea of roses, stood an identical duo of redheaded fifteen-year-old boys. The two of them mirrored one another as usual, currently staring wide-eyed at the flora surrounding them with arms akimbo.

When they caught sight of their vice-president, one of them stepped forward, almost crushing a bouquet. “Hey Kyoya-senpai,” he called out, shoving his hands in his pockets, “you don’t really expect us to use ALL these roses, do you?”

The other twin shifted to the side, allowing a third individual to step out from behind them.

“Somehow I’m guessing it’s not him who wants us to use these, Hikaru...”

Kyoya rewarded the petite, short-haired girl with a more benevolent expression than he had been giving the twins. “Haruhi’s right, Tamaki’s the one who originally discovered these. However, they really are quite lovely, so I’m going to need the three of you to help me arrange them before the club opens this afternoon.”

The second twin, Kaoru, eyed the carpet of bouquets, rubbing the back of his head uneasily. “That gives us about fifty minutes, right?” he pointed out. “Are you sure we’ll be able to –”

Kyoya’s countenance hardened again. “That’s right,” he replied coolly. “So why don’t each of you take a section of tables and dispose of the wilted flowers. We’re pressed for time, so let’s get this done as quickly as possible.”

The twins glanced at one another, then shrugged simultaneously. “Well, you’re the boss,” they responded in chorus.

As the two of them obediently meandered off to see to the tables, Haruhi bent and picked up a bouquet. “These are dark night roses, right?” she observed with interest. “I don’t remember us ever using this kind before.” She glanced up at Kyoya.

Kyoya raised his eyebrows. “That’s an astute observation, Haruhi,” he commented. “You’re right. We have not.”

“They’re very pretty,” she stated, tilting her head. “But...” Her voice acquired a dry edge. “Isn’t this pretty extreme even for us, senpai...?”

The reflective glare on Kyoya’s glasses hid his eyes. “Perhaps. We shall see.”

Haruhi thought she detected more than a hint of off-temper in his tone, so she decided not to press the issue and moved instead to help the twins.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~


Kyoya’s eyes snapped open, and he lifted his chin from his hand with a start. He had been editing one of his many club finance worksheets... and judging from the urgency in the voice that was yelling for him, he must have lost track of time. He swiveled in his seat, leaning his arm on the back of his chair as the owner of the voice burst through the curtains.

“Kyoya..” The slender, elegant teen gasped his best friend’s name as he pushed past the fabric. His thick blonde hair was slightly tousled, and his blue-violet eyes were wide with distress.. an expression not uncommonly seen on this particular boy. “I need your help...” he panted. “It’s an emergency!”

Kyoya did not bother to mask his sarcasm. “What is it now, Tamaki?”

Tamaki drew himself up, pouting a little. “Don’t say it like that, Kyoya,” he said reproachfully. “I’m serious, this is bad...” He glanced nervously around the room, as if someone might be eavesdropping on the two of them. “We’re going to have to cancel club today.”

Kyoya finally gave Tamaki his full attention. He rose, gazing warily at his friend. “What’s the matter?”

Tamaki shifted, reaching up to run his hands through his hair. He seemed indecisive, as if he didn’t really want to tell Kyoya what was on his mind.

Kyoya waited, skeptically curious. The idiot was obviously embarrassed about something or other, so he doubted that whatever it was was truly an emergency. Knowing Tamaki, it probably had something to do with Haruhi, or one of his fantastically convoluted schemes that had gone awry. Kyoya glanced at the time. 3:54.

Tamaki, noticing Kyoya’s impatience, swallowed involuntarily and pulled one hand down over his face. Evidently he was working up the resolve to speak.

Kyoya sighed. He was so transparent all the time, it was ridiculous.

“I... I’m afraid I am ill.”

He was mumbling, as he always did when he was uncomfortable, and he peeked through his fingers at Kyoya in a rather childlike fashion.

Kyoya raised his eyebrows. “Ill?” he repeated, crossing his arms. “What’s wrong with you? You look fine to me.”

Tamaki pulled his hand away from his face, a light blush gracing his fair cheeks. “Well, I’m not!” he retorted, voice pitching a bit higher. Huffing a dramatic sigh, he rubbed at his eye with a fist. “My throat feels all scratchy, and my eyes itch...” He seemed to shrink in horror, lowering his voice even further. “And... and my nose started running when I was looking at today’s list, and I had to use my handkerchief!” Tamaki screwed up his face and stared at Kyoya, liquid eyes pleading.

Kyoya gave him the same look he always did in response to speeches like these: the one that said ‘can’t you try not to be such an idiot?’ Shaking his head slightly, he gave Tamaki a rapid once-over. Other than the flush across his face and a slight pinkness around his eyes, nothing seemed amiss.

Kyoya pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. “I really don’t think you’re sick, Tamaki.” Having assessed the situation, he diverted his attention to his computer screen again. “Just be polite about it, and I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Tamaki made a funny, choking sort of sound in protest. “But Kyoya!” he persisted. “It isn’t proper for the host club king to host when he isn’t well!” Taking a step closer to the desk, he wrung his hands as he continued. “Why, if any of the girls caught something because of me, I would be beside myself!”

Kyoya turned to him. “For goodness sake, you don’t have anything, Tamaki.” He glared at him. “Now would you stop being such a moron and get out of here? Your customers will be arriving at any minute.”

Tamaki looked keenly distraught. “But you... you don’t understand, Kyoya. I’m not – hehh

Kyoya glanced sharply at him when his breath caught. Tamaki’s eyes went fuzzy, and he brought his arm to his face.

Hah-kSSHI!” Tamaki sneezed into his elbow, then grimaced afterwards. “You see?” he stated, sniffling as he fished for his handkerchief. “I can’t host like this!”

Kyoya sighed through his nose. Though certainly not an emergency, this could be more problematic than he first thought. “Do you have a headache, or any sort of pain?” he asked pragmatically.

Tamaki shook his head. “No, I don’t hurt anywhere.” He surreptitiously wiped his nose with the sturdy piece of cloth. “Only my nose is bothering me.” He looked as though he might sink into one of his depressive fits. “I’m sorry, Kyoya, I know you’ve already prepared everything for club today, but I don’t think I should be –”

Kyoya impatiently pressed the back of his hand to the blonde’s forehead, then jerked it away. “You feel perfectly normal, Tamaki,” he interjected, eyebrows knitting together into a scowl. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just reacting to the abnormal amount of roses we have in the host area today.” Picking up his book, Kyoya began scratching something into it.

Tamaki blinked. “What?”

Kyoya shut his eyes briefly. “Your nose isn’t used to the potency of these flowers. I’m sure you’ll be fine by the time club is over, so, I would suggest that you get to your table now.” Looking back up at Tamaki, he added, “Like I said. Be polite, and be sure to tell the girls that you aren’t sick. All right?”

Tamaki seemed taken aback. “O... Okay. Sure.” He began to make his way out, but then stopped and looked back, one hand holding the curtain open. “Hey, aren’t you coming?”

Kyoya sat back down, not bothering to meet his gaze. “Later, maybe, if I finish updating the financial records and draw up the day schedules for the next few weeks.”

Tamaki was puzzled for a moment. Kyoya usually did all that after hosting hours, not during. But finally he shrugged. “All right. Thanks.”

Kyoya briefly rubbed a finger beneath his own nose when Tamaki had gone. There were no rose arrangements in here; Kyoya had made sure of that. The host room, however, was a veritable perfumery, and it subsequently took everything in Kyoya’s power to remain out there without showing discomfort. So, he was not hosting.

He frowned, wiping a smudge off his laptop screen with his thumb. He had not expected anyone else to experience issues with the flowers; he was familiar with the medical records of each and every individual involved in the host club, both hosts and customers... and they all either did not have allergies or had medication on their person at all times.

He rested his chin on his fist, deep in thought. Tamaki was not allergic to anything, at least that he knew of, so Kyoya did not believe that the roses would hinder the host club president too severely. The Suoh heir was of delicate breeding, though, so Kyoya figured that it was the strong scent itself that was bothering him, and not an actual allergy to the roses. The sensitivity would wear off as he got accustomed to it, Kyoya decided, and all would be well. With any luck, today would be an ideal business day, and no one else should have to suffer as a result of Tamaki’s consumer blunder.

...Unfortunately, this was not to be.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

About halfway through the club period, Kyoya was suddenly made aware of a commotion directly beyond the entry of his little alcove. He had just barely turned in the direction of the noise when the trio of first-years clamored past the curtain. Hikaru and Kaoru entered first, being coerced into the room by a very disgruntled Haruhi.

“Kyoya-senpai, I need a second opinion on these two,” she declared, pushing them forward.

The moment she let go of them, they whirled as one to face her. “Haruhi!!” they protested, equally chagrined.

“You didn’t have to go that far!” objected Hikaru, glaring down at her.

“Yeah!” Kaoru chimed in, but more reproachful than angry. “It’s not a big deal!”

“LOOK at them,” Haruhi interrupted, shoving their shoulders around and forcing them to face the shadow king. “Do you think they should be here, senpai?”

Kyoya silently looked them over, recognizing the reason for Haruhi’s vehemence almost immediately. Despite the dim lighting, he could clearly see the abnormal coloration to their faces, the swelling around their honey-colored eyes. They definitely looked unwell.

Kyoya locked eyes with Haruhi. “What happened?” he asked grimly.

Her face was a mask of mild revulsion. “They were fine earlier, but a couple minutes ago I heard their customers making a fuss and saw them like this.”

The two boys, meanwhile, were staring at Haruhi as though she was accusing them of something. Kyoya raised his eyebrows. “They seem to disagree with you, Haruhi..” he observed. “Are you certain that this is –”

As Kyoya spoke, both boys suddenly gave an odd sort of gasp, and Haruhi raised one hand slightly as if wanting to say something. She was not fast enough, however, and she winced as the twins sneezed, openly, in perfect unison. “Heihk’TSHHU!!”

Directly in Kyoya’s direction.

Haruhi looked almost apologetically at the visibly disgusted vice president as the twins both sniffled, pawing at their noses with mirroring hands. “Yes, senpai.. I’m sure it’s a problem...” she answered somewhat weakly.

Kyoya glowered at the boys. “Yes. I can see that.”

“We’re NOT sick,” Hikaru insisted hotly. He glanced uneasily at Kyoya. “Seriously, we aren’t.”

Kyoya said nothing, and simply studied them with an aloof displeasure.

“We can’t be sick...” Hikaru continued. “Kaoru doesn’t have a fever.”

“Neither does Hikaru,” added Kaoru.

“And we both feel fine!” they finished together.

“Well,” amended Kaoru with a sniffle, “’Fine’ as in ‘not sick’... The only problem is, we...” he trailed off, holding his hand to his nose as he dug in his pocket for his handkerchief.

Hikaru glanced at his brother in alarm. “Stop it, Kaoru!” he muttered under his breath, swallowing.

Kaoru met his gaze, distress flickering across his face. “Hikaru... I can’t...” His eyelids fluttered, then settled at an irritated half-mast as he buried his nose into his handkerchief. “I’m.. hh... I’m s – hehh – s-sorry –” His face contorted as his breath hitched, and Hikaru put his hands to his face with a moan.

Hhh... hehh-eh... heh’tSSHH!!”


Kaoru took care to exercise decorum this time and cover his mouth when he sneezed. Hikaru, whose sneeze apparently was provoked by his twin’s, did not. Kaoru, sensing Kyoya’s growing disapproval, tried to apologize for the two of them. Sniffling wetly, he kept his face concealed by the soft cloth as he spoke. “’Scuse be.” His voice was congested, and he glanced at his brother, who swiped at his nose with the back of his hand and didn’t say a thing.

“Well, one would hope that the two of you are not ill,” Kyoya almost growled, shooting an unmasked glare at Hikaru, “because if you are, then you run the risk of infecting the entire club.” Straightening the lapels of his powder-blue jacket, Kyoya leaned back against the other table that formed a right angle with his desk.

“We’re dot sick, Kyoya-sed’pai,” murmured Kaoru, bringing his handkerchief down. “To be hodest, I thigk it’s all the flowers.”

Hikaru snorted derisively. “Yeah. Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve suffered for one of the boss’s bright ideas.” He crossed his arms. “I’m surprised you let him go through with this one, senpai, it doesn’t seem like you at all.”

Kyoya pushed his glasses up higher. “No, I don’t suppose it does,” was all he said.

Hikaru cocked an eyebrow. “So then what gives??” he demanded. “Knowing you, you don’t let ANYthing get by you, especially when it comes to money. So what the heck –” the Hitachiin boy stopped short, his snarky comment interrupted by an irregular breath. His expression changed from dry sarcasm to childish helplessness as his nose twitched. “he-ehh... hh-hh... hht’tSCHHU!!” He jerked forward, sneezing freely.

Hhh’tSHH!!” This time, it was Kaoru who sneezed in reaction to his brother. “Cover your mouth, Hikaru...” Kaoru chided softly, glancing warily at Kyoya. “Here.” He offered his own handkerchief to his brother, who rolled his eyes but took it.

Both Haruhi and Kyoya cringed a little as Hikaru blew his nose loudly, then sighed. “Thags.” He crumpled the cloth square and began to hand it back to Kaoru, but Kyoya intercepted him.

“Hikaru, where is your handkerchief?” he inquired coldly.

Kaoru shook his head. “He forgot to brig wud today.” He sniffled yet again, and the sound was thick and wet. “Sorry, Kyoya-senpai. I kdow this is really ibpolite of us...” He reached out to take the handkerchief back, but Kyoya put a hand out to stop him.

“Why don’t you keep that,” he ordered Hikaru, distaste barely concealed, “and you” – he gestured to Kaoru – “can take mine.” He pulled his own neatly folded handkerchief from his jacket pocket and handed it to the slightly more courteous twin. “All right?”

Kaoru took it, looking a trifle embarrassed. “Uh... okay... thags.” His eyes shifted once more to his brother, who wore an obnoxiously defiant expression; but then their faces both melted into mirroring ones of discomfort, and they sneezed so violently that they nearly doubled over. “Heihk’TSHHU!!”

Kyoya directed a genuinely threatening look at Hikaru as the two of them seized up, but this time the redhead had the sense to use his brother’s handkerchief and so was spared the shadow king’s wrath. Haruhi, who was still standing just inside the curtains, was staring at Kyoya with a questioning look in her big brown eyes. Kyoya’s mouth set into a thin line as he adjusted his glasses, carefully.

For what must have been at least the tenth time that day, he found himself mentally reevaluating the situation. While Tamaki may have simply been sensitive to the scent of the flowers, the twins were acutely allergic to them, there was no doubt about it. They did not appear at all languid or dizzy, but they were obviously itchy and uncomfortable and neither of them could stop sniffling. Kyoya frowned. It was really starting to get on his nerves.

Straightening abruptly, he addressed the sniffly twins. “You two. Sit.” He moved out of the way, pointing to the table behind him.

The twins looked at one another, then him, then slowly complied.

“Haruhi,” Kyoya continued. She took an expectant step forward. “I want you to go down to the nurse’s office and get these two some allergy medication...”

uhh... hehh’tSHH!”


Kyoya’s frown deepened. “...A lot of it.” Sighing heavily, he moved to pick up his book.

Haruhi gaped at the twins, then stared at Kyoya. “They’re allergic to the roses?!” she said, incredulous. “But... how do you... I mean –”

Kyoya very nearly rolled his eyes. “I hardly think that’s a difficult deduction to make, Haruhi.” He inclined his head in their direction as, on cue, they sneezed again.

Haruhi glanced back at the redheads. “Well, no, senpai... it’s just that we use roses all the time. I would think that would be impossible if you guys were allergic to them.”

Kyoya scribbled something into his book, not bothering to look at her. “I believe in this case it’s probably the amount, and not the flowers themselves. There are two hundred dozen, after all.”

Haruhi put a thoughtful hand to her mouth. “Then how come I’m not having any trouble with it?” she wondered aloud.

“Probably on account of your breeding,” Kyoya replied shortly. “Commoners do not lead sheltered lifestyles, so their constitutions are different as a result of their exposure.”

Haruhi regarded the shadow king with mild surprise. Over the months she had known the host boys, they had gradually ceased to spout such polarized wealthy-child drivel in her presence – including Kyoya, who was a pro at exhibiting good form and tact (when it suited him). So, he must really be in a bad mood, if he were showing his truer colors during club hours.

She started slightly when he looked up at her.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

“Oh – nothing, senpai. Sorry. I’ll be right back.” She bowed her head slightly, then exited the room with dutiful haste.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

There you go! Next chunk to come tomorrow!


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I can't contain myself right now, so I'm not going to even bother. Please excuse me while I fangirl like it's nobody's business.

. . .



GODDDDDDD!!!!!!! mf_laughbounce.gif

asjlfjsDKF:LSDF AHHHHHHHH!! This is AMAZING!! :cryhappy: Seriously, SFG. You're capturing everyone SO perfectly! heart.gif You have the characters down pat, in my opinion, and Kyoya…he's just…GOD, it's like he just walked out of the anime! I can totally picture ALL of this in my head. omg.gif It's like a forgotten episode or something…


A-and, there's more...? I am SO excited. I know this is Maru-chan's SS, but man, it may as well be mine, too. biggrin.png I cannot contain my utter joy over this. I JUST CAN'T! I haven't been this excited over an Ouran fic since I read BlackScatter's 'Curing the Love Bug'.

I am in a very, VERY happy place right now. wub.png

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Darling... this is FANTASTIC! All those roses (roses are UTTERLY Host Club!) and WHEEEEE you made them ALL allergic and it's so funny and hot and lovely and I'm really extremely happy with this :D Over the MOON!

And it's LONG! You're so perfectly adorable for making it so long! :clapping:

Hehehehe several allergic bishounen :wub::lmao: :glee:

THANK YOU. I am most happy.

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MOTHER OF GOD -swoons-


Smileyfacegirl^^, I can NOT stop smiling right now. I mean, you may have said I got you fangirling for OHSHC, but this-.. *on knees*.. this godly piece of absolute bliss-... I can't.. I just can't handle it.. *huggles computer*.. It's just-..

The characters are perfect.

The idea is amazing.

The fact that you incorporated nearly EVERYONE is fantastic.

The characters are perfect.

YOU are perfect.

.. characters are perrrrrrrfect.. *purr* xDDD


Seriously, I'm like, hanging on your every word here! I'm pretty sure I'll be fangirling over EVERY fic you write ^_^.. Because you always do it just right :D

I think you write OHSHC better than I do~! *huggle*

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*breathes giant anime sigh of relief*

I AM SOOOO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!!! XD XD XD ALL of you, but of course especially you Maru-chan!! mf_laughbounce2.gif

You have all put ME in a very happy place! *dances* I was unbelievably nervous tackling this fandom, because it is in my opinion one of THE most brilliant animes ever conceived and just attempting to do the characters justice was more intimidating than I expected blushing.gif But omgosh you guys like it!!! THANK YOU all so much! happy.png

@Spoo: **yay yay yay yay yay yaayyy!!~! ^^ If I can make you fangirl, I'm doing my job right! yes.gif Whenever I write fanfics, I pay meticulous attention to getting characters right, so I'm super super glad I've succeeded in your eyes!! biggrin.png

@Maru-chan: I know, I already said this. But... I'm just SO FREAKIN' GLAD you like!!!! heh.gif You're okay with it being long? ~Yay~! innocent.gif I hope you continue to like it!

Ahh, yes, allergic bishounen... the only thing Ouran really was lacking... aaevil.gif

@BlackScatter: ....!

You are FAR too kind!! jawdrop.gif I..I don't know what to say except thank you!! *hugs* heehee Yes, please do harrass Funimation. lololol if they were in charge of animation, I bet Caitlin would totally go for it laughing.gif

Kyoya.... drool.gif

*ahem. yes. Now where was i... XD

@VoOs: I know, right? XDDD And thank you! happy.png

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As promised, here's more! ^^

Whups, I totally forgot the disclaimer, didn't I? sweatdrop.gif

Okay, so I Do. NOT. Own. Ouran Highschool Host Club. I am not a genius, nor am I Japanese. happy.png

Also, I feel the desire to give character references, so for any of you who might wanna know what these heartthrobs looks like, I shall give you this rather than pics. XD

And now, without further ado!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Haruhi Fujioka put her hand to her forehead in exasperation as she made her way across the expansive, stiflingly perfumed host room. These damn rich people are SO temperamental... She shook her head, aiming her eyes skyward. Still, it’s kind of strange, she thought. I would never have pegged Kyoya-senpai as one to be moody at club. That’s something Tamaki-senpai is famous for.


Haruhi froze, grimacing in annoyance. Speaking of whom. She scanned the room until she spotted her exuberant senpai, who was seated with his guests and beckoning vigorously to her. Reluctantly, she turned to approach his table. “What is it, senpai?”

Tamaki was, at the moment, 100% in princely mode. With his signature melodramatic flair, he stood as he addressed her. “Where are you going?” he asked, sweeping his arms outward in a grand gesture. “Aren’t your guests going to miss you?”

Haruhi was tempted to roll her eyes, but she did not. “I’ll be right back. I’m running an errand for Kyoya-senpai.”

The four girls who were with Tamaki that day exchanged glances.

“Hey, Haruhi, where is Kyoya today?” one of them chirped.

“Yeah!” exclaimed another. “We haven’t seen him all day. Is he all right?”

Haruhi stepped carefully around Tamaki in order to reply. “Oh, he’s fine,” she reassured them. “He’s probably just got too much work today or something.” She looked to Tamaki. “Can I go now?”

Tamaki’s enthusiasm seemed to have been subdued while Haruhi talked to the girls. “Oh, yes,” he answered. He had let his hands fall to his sides, but he remained standing, gazing at her. “Is something the matter?” he queried. “Is... is it something I should come with you for?”

Haruhi shook her head. “Relax, senpai. I’m just going down to get the twins some – huh?”

Haruhi interrupted her own sentence with an undisguised expression of confusion; for a marked change of affectation was coming over Tamaki. As a rule, his movements and stances tended to be very free, very open and overemphasized. However, as she was answering his question he suddenly tightened up his position, bending his neck slightly and pulling his elbows closer to his body, as if he wished to contain himself somehow.

No sooner had Haruhi stopped speaking when the reason for Tamaki’s odd behavior became evident. He was one of the most transparently expressive people she knew, and the sensation he was feeling was perfectly clear as it overwhelmed his senses and demanded a response from his body. The girls at his table leaned forward, mouths forming perfect tiny ‘o’s, as he hunched his shoulders, great blue eyes welling with irritated tears. Haruhi was close enough to see his chest rise and fall as he took a deep, shuddering breath.

hhuh-uh’kSHHI!!” Tamaki made sure to sneeze into the crook of his arm, but the courteous gesture did not particularly muffle the sound. He kept his arm poised to his face a minute longer, then relaxed and pressed his rather damp handkerchief to his nose. “Pardon me,” he apologized to his guests.

The girls all jumped to their feet with a breathy chorus of “aaaawww!”s.

“Here,” said one, “you can have my handkerchief if you need it, Tamaki!”

“Mine too!” said another.

“And mine!”

Haruhi, on the other hand, gave a frustrated sigh. “Oh no... not you too, senpai.”

Tamaki, though he was surrounded by four sympathetic girls who were vying for his attention, only had eyes for one particular female. He edged closer to her, the four clean handkerchiefs he had received still resting in his hands. “What do you mean?” he said, voice small.

Haruhi regarded him with her customary resigned air, thinking carefully as to what to say to him that would not send him sinking into his melancholic corner. However, as she stared solemnly into his watery eyes, watching as he sniffled pitifully from behind the snow-white piece of fabric he held against his face, she felt an odd twinge of... something... in the pit of her stomach. Taken aback, she rested a hand on her torso. Hmm... do allergies affect your stomach? she thought suspiciously, eying the fountains of roses she and the twins had set up. She didn’t have any, so she didn’t know. She wasn’t itchy or sneezing, but the queer sensation that was fluttering in her middle was one she was not at all familiar with. She kept her gaze trained on her idiot senpai, but her annoyance with him seemed to fade as she realized how different he looked. He looked more down-to-earth than usual, more normal. He looked.... cute.

Haruhi gave her head a sharp shake to clear it. “Forget it, senpai.”

As she moved to leave, he started to call after her but ended up smothering a sneeze into the handkerchief instead. “hmm’ptSHH!

She shook her head and turned with a wry smile. “Bless you, senpai. You really should stop doing that, or else I might start worrying that you’re catching another cold...” Her eyes widened when she met his gaze.

He was staring at her with an expression she honestly could not read, and his face was becoming a rosy shade of pink. He was blushing. Tamaki-senpai was genuinely embarrassed by her simple, frank statement.

“I... I-I-I’m not!” he stammered, bringing his hand down. His princely persona had vanished, replaced by one very flustered teenage boy. His girls looked uncertainly from him to Haruhi, not understanding the sudden tension between the two hosts.

Haruhi saw the confusion on the girls’ faces, and realized that the situation would soon breach awkward... or worse, alleged yaoi. Her own cheeks grew hot as she suddenly recognized that the odd moment she and the host king were experiencing could be construed as romantic tension.

“I... I really should get going, I’m supposed to hurry,” she blurted, whirling towards the door. “I’ll... be back.” Heart racing inexplicably, she hastened out of the room as fast as she could without running.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~


Just Call Me King: the Tamaki Suoh Collection – 50 copies, 3,000¥ each

Forbidden Love, Hitachiins Vol. 5 – 14 copies, 1,086¥ each

Cake and Kendo, the Honey-Mori Special – 35 copies, 2,000¥ each

Commoner Style: Fujioka-kun – 40 copies, 1,500¥ each

Financial Compensation notes:

make more copies of the Host Club film, as they sell for more than all of the above. Create assortment compilations of the hosts to surpass revenue level of the individual books. Collaborate with Renge to solidify her “omake host club manga” idea. Include pictures from today in

hehh... heik’tCSHHU!!!”

Kyoya’s fingers twitched around his pen.

Just Call Me King: the Tamaki Suoh Collection – 50 copies, 3,000¥ each

5,000¥ each

There. Tamaki is going to pay me back for this, whether he knows it or not. Kyoya paused, pen hovering over the paper.




Kyoya gripped the edge of the book. Where is Haruhi?

Giving up on getting any work done, he directed his attention to the twin sources of his distraction. Hikaru and Kaoru were perched on the table, long legs swinging listlessly. Their symptoms had lessened some, thanks to the sheltered room, but not nearly enough to placate Kyoya. Sitting with their bodies pressed up against one another, they looked more bored than miserable. Kyoya knew from experience that that was not a good sign, and he doubted they would be able to remain still for too much longer.

Kyoya was about to call down to the office when the missing first-year suddenly wormed her way through the layered drapery. The maddeningly sweet scent from the flowers wafted in with her, stimulating an array of tiny itches in the corners of Kyoya’s eyes and producing another sneeze from the twins.

“I’m sorry, Kyoya-senpai,” Haruhi began flatly. “But the nurses are out of allergy medication. Apparently a second-year class went on a trip to a garden this morning and insisted that they all take it, whether allergic or not.”

The disdain she felt for spoiled rich children rang loud and clear – and for once, Kyoya was almost inclined to agree with her. He opened his mouth to speak, reaching to adjust his glasses; but his hand remained against the thin wire frames, the words he might have said dying on his lips as he tried to process a new development yet again.

Haruhi raised her eyebrows a bit, then looked past him to the twins when it was apparent that he wasn’t going to speak. “Hey, how are you guys feeling?” she asked offhandedly, folding her arms.

Hikaru lifted his head from his brother’s shoulder, blinking at her. Kaoru squeezed Hikaru’s hand, and the two of them slid off of the table, breezing past the shadow lord.

“We’re feeling better, thank you, Haruhi!” they announced. They walked to her, placing their elbows on her shoulders and sandwiching her between them.

“It really isn’t bad in here,” said Hikaru, smoothing some of her hair from her eyes.

“No, so it must be the roses,” chimed in Kaoru, rubbing his nose as he leaned on her nonchalantly.

“Yeah. It got worse when you came in... you brought the smell with you and now my nose itches again,” Hikaru grumbled, crushing a fist against it.

“Mine too,” Kaoru assented. Draping their arms around Haruhi’s back, they turned toward Kyoya.

“It’s too bad Kyoya-senpai let the boss put one over him like this,” they said obnoxiously. “It can’t possibly be good for business, seeing as only half of us are hosting right now.”

Haruhi frowned at the two of them. The situation was troublesome, but she didn’t think they needed to go that far. At that moment, they both snuffled noisily into their free arms, and she squirmed out of their embrace.

“Eewww, you guys, cut it out!!!” She glared at them, taking a step closer to Kyoya in order to distance herself from the boys.

Hikaru looked slightly put off. “Oh, what’s the biig – uhht’sSHHU!”


They assumed mirroring contortions as they sneezed, then both straightened and groaned.

Haruhi spoke up, surprised that Kyoya still had not given any sort of definitive response. “Can’t you just order them some medicine, senpai?” she inquired, scooting further away from the twins as they blew their noses.

Kyoya closed his book absentmindedly. “There is only about an hour of club left,” he responded. “It would take at least that long for it to get here, and by then of course it would be of no use.” He sighed. “Besides, even if they did get it, it would take some time for it to even take effect; thus, ordering them some would be impractical, not to mention costly.”

Haruhi digested this. “Well, then I’d say we should close up early, right?” she mused. “I mean, like they said, right now we’ve only got three hosts working.”

Kyoya did not immediately answer. He was still hashing all this out in his mind, working it around and trying to get things to fall into place. Ordinarily, he would have implemented Haruhi’s suggestion already; but today it was not a viable solution.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” he said quietly. “Thanks to Tamaki’s liberality with the roses, we will need to make a substantial profit today and every remaining day this term. If we close down now, we would likely be unable to open again this semester, let alone have the finals week party.”

The twins tilted their heads in opposite directions. “So what do you want us to do?” they asked. “Do you still want us to host?”

Haruhi couldn't help but notice that it was taking Kyoya considerably longer than usual to come up with answers. This is really weird, she thought. Kyoya-senpai’s always way ahead of everybody else...

Kyoya finally straightened, flipping the black book open. “Yes, that would be best,” he announced to the twins, glasses flashing. “I know it won’t be pleasant, but I’m sure that between the two of you you’ll be able to manage.” He wrote something down. “You might even want to try working it into your act.”

They stood very still, staring, for just a second. Then, ever so slowly, identical predatory grins spread across their faces.

“All right,” said Kaoru.

“We’ll figure something out,” they said with an artful chuckle. Handkerchiefs in hand, they waltzed out of the enclave.

Haruhi grimaced as they exited. I don’t know if I liked those looks they had... Exactly what are those two planning? Putting her hand to her forehead again, she too moved toward the entrance.


The shadow king’s voice stopped her, and she turned back. “What is it, senpai?”

He continued to write. “I need to give you your cosplay assignment for Sunday,” he began, turning a page. “Everyone else has given me ideas for theirs except you. Do you have a preference, or shall I choose for you?”

Haruhi stiffened a bit. “This Sunday? I never agreed to help with anything this Sunday, senpai; my dad and I are going up to visit Misuzu this weekend. It’s his birthday - I can’t just cancel something like that.”

Kyoya scribbled something else. “Misuzu’s birthday? Surely they don’t need you to be there.”

Haruhi drew herself upright. “I’m sorry, Kyoya-senpai, but I can’t be here. I’m going to be with my father, we’ve been planning this for a long time.” Squaring her shoulders, she added, “I’m not in debt to the host club anymore. You can’t make me do anything, and you know that.”

Kyoya looked up at her. This made Unexpected Complication Number....fifteen? Sixteen?

“No.” His tone was tired, and a little surprised. “You are correct, I cannot. I hope your vacation is pleasant, Haruhi.” He returned his eyes to the paper.

Haruhi felt uneasiness ripple down her spine. Never, in all her time with the host club, had Kyoya let her off the hook for something in that manner before. Not once. With him, he would either come up with a non-refutable argument of logic which would force her to cooperate, or else he’d manage to spin the situation to his favor regardless of her actions. Now, however, he did not appear to have any agenda or veiled threat; in fact, he almost seemed... defeated?

“Hey.. Kyoya-senpai...” she started, tilting her head. “Is... everything all right?”

Kyoya’s pen paused for the briefest of moments.

No, it was not.

Under normal circumstances, he could take challenges like today’s without so much as batting an eye... but these were not normal circumstances. For, even in here, the flowers were getting to him. The urge to rub his nose was driving him insane.

“Yes, of course,” he answered, folding his pen into his book.

She studied him. “Why aren’t you hosting today?”

He met her gaze, cool as usual. “There was no need for me to,” he replied. “However, if I’m not mistaken, your guests are waiting for you.”

Haruhi blinked, as though she’d forgotten. “Right.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry.” Knowing full well that he was just getting rid of her, she bowed her head and slipped out of his office once more.

Kyoya flinched as the curtains whipped the rose fragrance into his face. Tensing, his hand hovered in front of his mouth as his breath hitched involuntarily. With a mighty effort, however, he clamped his teeth together and pinched his nose, diffusing the sneeze at the last minute. He turned from the entry, glancing somewhat blearily at his laptop screen.

Only one hour left... he could manage.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Next portion tomorrow!


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Allow me to sum up my emotions with one emoticon:


SQUEE!!! Great update, SFG!!! I loved the interaction between Haruhi and Tamaki (I'm a HUGE shipper of that pairing). I thought it was fantastic how you made them interact, a-and how Haruhi felt something funny...guh! So sweeeeet. wub.png

And ohohoho~ Kyoya is being so strong, but can he really hold out? aaevil.gif I sure hope not...hah! This story is so wonderful. It's giving me the warmest and most fuzziest feelings imaginable! se0nwj.gif

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I CAN'T WAIT FOR KYOUYA TO BREAK~! *wringing hands evilly* ... Muhahahaha.. and the twins-.. can't WAIT to see what THEY'RE doing >:D

*throws mini fangirl tantrum* .. But Smiiiiiley~! I want the rest nowwwwwwww~.. I'm on the edge of my SEAT!

That bit with Haruhi and Tamaki was SO CUTE *huggle* And I really can't wait for the rest. Seriously. HOLY CRAP. You're just too good, you little devil you~! <3 <3 <3

-Love, Black XD

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Wow, this is adorable. The twins.... :wub:

But what happened to Mitzukuni and Takashi? You deleted them. XD

Seriously, though. I usually only comment/review on Mori fics, but your writing is just so damn intriguing! I couldn't help it.

:3 Please continue~

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@Spoo: That is one friggin' awesome emoticon!! XDDD

Ahh, I love TamaHaru! wub.png I'm glad I got them right though, bc after seeing the anime again I'm definitely seeing some KyoHaru.... sleep.png But TamaHaru is sooo cute and awesome ^^

Yes, Haruhi feels quite funny. XD Lol i do believe it's canon that she doesn't always understand her own feelings.... hehe XD

Thank you!! smile.png

@BlackScatter: Kyoya Ootori - the first to know about a problem, and the last to be affected by it.

But he WILL be affected by it, oh yes. heheheheheh.... aaevil.gif

Thaank youuu!!! *hugs*

@I ruv zee sneeze: *gasps* oh no no no! I did not delete Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai!!! 7.gif Every member of the host club appears in this fic, I promise. They just haven't come yet bc I've been mostly sticking around with Kyoya in his lair office heh.gif

I am honored that you would comment! blushing.gif And the next segment will have a scene that I think you will like. happy.png

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My dear smileyfacegirl, you're wonderful :wub: The whole thing is incredibly Ouran, all the characters are portrayed exactly right, and their antics make me giggle throughout! (So does their sneezing, hehe) It should really be an episode, this. One that I would watch a million times over.

Thank you SO MUCH for writing me such a lovely long fic! :hug:

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Arigatou gozaimasu, Maru-chan!! heart.gif I cannot express enough how glad I am that you like it blushing.gif

lol... not to sound funny, but I would freaking LOVE IT if this were an episode.... whether it was the seiyuus or the English actors... doing this? holy crap fjdkflggh drool.gif yeah. heh.gif

You are very welcome!! This was so fun and fulfilling to do! happy.png

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Thank you so much for writing this! I cannot believe that you did this! It is just absolutely amazing! I love how like pretty much half of the host club are suffering right now cause of the roses. aaevil.gif I am soooooooo looking forward to Kyoya suffering..... aaevil.gifinnocent.gif WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! devil2.gif

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Nyehehe, Kyoya is already suffering. In manly silence. Oh how sexy and ridiculous is his restraint. :lol:

But yes... I can hardly wait for the moment he finally succumbs. :twisted:

Happy Maru ^_^

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Thank you Zane!! Yes, indeed - and it ain't over yet aaevil.gif

heheh I'm so glad you guys are all anticipating Kyoya's, um, breaking point. XDDD It's not in this next part, but it's coming up. devil2.gif

lololol Maru-chan, what a wonderfully perfect way of putting it! mf_laughbounce2.gif Yes, his restraint is sexy and ridiculous, I've always thought that about his character to begin with... and so with the idea of allergies, it just made sense. I figured he'd hold out until the very last possible minute... and then... heheheh.... XDD yup. laughing.gif

All righty! Time for today's bit! happy.png

(Prepare yourselves. Some of this is the closest to writing yaoi as i have ever come, so... enjoy? ninja.gif )

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Haruhi made a face as she trekked back to her hosting area. The rose scent was so thick that it coated the back of her throat, leaving a funny taste in her mouth. It was really rather nasty, in her opinion... but, apparently, it pleased the schoolgirls, as none of them were complaining so far. Sighing, she loosened her tie a little and mentally prepared to play the part of host for a little longer.

However, a peculiar sight was waiting for her when she reached the lovely rose-draped table and pink-cushioned seats of her area: her guests were nowhere to be found! She bit her lip nervously. If I lost their business, Kyoya-senpai will not be happy, she thought with a moan. Then again... if I did, it’s really his fault, not mine. She put her hands on her hips and surveyed the vast expanse that was Music Room 3, searching for any sign of Kanna or Ayame, her two customers of the day.

She nearly choked when she saw them. They were with the twins.

Aw man, she thought. Wonderful. Now I have to go over there and get them.

When she reached the group, it was plain to see that Hikaru and Kaoru were fully immersed in their trademark “brotherly love” schtick – and it was also obvious that their allergies had worsened considerably. Their three customers, along with Kanna and Ayame, were clustered excitedly around them as they lounged on an elegant burgandy loveseat.

Hikaru seemed to be having a harder time than Kaoru; as Haruhi came up, he was in the middle of a sneezing fit, face burrowed into his handkerchief. “huh’tCHHU! Hh-hh... hht’SHHU!! huht-sh’HU!!”

Kaoru was nestled against him, rubbing his back. He turned and stifled his own less explosive sneezes into his own handkerchief, murmuring comforting words to his brother.

When Hikaru was finally able to stop, he lifted his head, face red and blotchy. “I’b sorry, Kaoru,” he croaked stuffily. “I dod’t kdow what cabe over be.”

“It’s all right,” Kaoru responded plaintively. He sniffled, and Hikaru shifted uncomfortably, putting a hand to his chest. Kaoru’s concern deepened. “Cad you breathe, Hikaru?”

Hikaru fidgeted. “Yeah.. but it’s really really hard to, Kaoru.”

Kaoru smoothed the hair out of his brother’s inflamed eyes. “Hikaru... you cad lie on by lap, I kdow that always helps you feel better.”

Hikaru tried to sniff, but was so congested that he didn’t really get any air. “Thag you, Kaoru,” he said gratefully, lying down across his twin’s lap and resting his arm up along Kaoru’s. Kaoru, in response, draped his arm across Hikaru’s stomach and tenderly placed his left hand beneath his head.

Haruhi’s insides went rather sour. There are so many things wrong with this picture, she groused inwardly.

Their bizarre little show had the complete opposite effect on their five female audience members, however. The silly things blushed and giggled the entire time, gushing over how dreamy they were and how bad they felt for them.

Haruhi slumped in exasperation. I swear, Mom, the girls at this school are all insane...

She eyed the playacting twins and grimaced. And the boys aren’t much better.

At that moment, the two girls noticed her and rose.

“Oh, there you are, Haruhi,” said Kanna happily. “I hope you don’t mind us watching the twins while we waited for you!”

Haruhi smiled benignly at them. “Of course not, ladies.” Having collected her customers, she led them back to her table for tea.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The school clocktower bells announced the quarter hour with deep, majestic tones as Kyoya put the finishing touches on the last worksheet. He hesitated, hand resting lightly on the top of the screen lid.

There was no possible thing left for him to do. He had already worked far more ahead than necessary.

Which meant that, if he desired to be a good vice-president and not appear lazy, he would now make his daily rounds and see to it that everything on the host floor was running smoothly.

Kyoya was more than well aware of the responsibility he had – as the club moderator, the true intellect behind the dream that had become the Ouran High School Host Club.

And so, he shut the laptop, picked up his black book, and emerged from the curtains.

The fragrant, pollen-laden air assaulted his respiratory system immediately, but he was able – with utmost concentration – to disregard the sensation. He headed purposefully to the first station, flipping to his host log page.

Hosts: Takashi Morinozuka, ‘strong silent type’

Mitsukuni Haninozuka, ‘boy lolita type’

Week of May 18th


The two eldest members of the host club were busy entertaining six young ladies. The tiny, adorable loli that was Haninozuka – Honey-senpai – was enthusiastically telling a detailed story through copious mouthfuls of cake. His peer and guardian of sorts, Morinozuka or Mori-senpai, was silent as usual, acting as a foil to Honey’s over-animation... and as eye candy for the girls, of course. Mori was the epitome of “tall, dark, and handsome,” which was actually his specialty in his role as a host.

Kyoya dipped his head approvingly, recording observations next to the date. All was going splendidly here, which meant he was free to move on.

However, just as he was about to continue on his way, a subtle movement from Mori-senpai caused him to delay.

The well-built youth twitched his head to the side, almond-shaped eyes squinting. Then, he brought his elbow up to his face... and sneezed. “Uh’nntchu!

Honey’s fork paused halfway to his mouth, eyes widening. “Bless you, Takashi!” he piped.

Mori rubbed his nose. “Thanks.” His breath caught, however, and he sneezed again, catching it in his hands just in time. “huhh’nNCHH!”

Honey gaped at him, as did the girls. “Are you okay?” he asked anxiously, pushing back his chair and trotting over to his companion.

Mori blinked slowly. “Yeah.” He drew his hand across his itching eyes, his muscular chest quivering with erratic breaths. “Hh...Hh-hh... hhh-hh...”

Honey fiddled with Usa-chan’s ear, clutching the pink bunny to his stomach as his chocolate-brown eyes stared worriedly at his cousin.

Mori’s body clenched, and he snapped forward with a strangled “huh’nNTCHU!-uh..” He sighed quietly, pressing the back of his hand to his affronted nose.

Honey tucked Usa-chan beneath his arm and scrambled into Mori’s lap. “What’s wrong?” he quavered, placing his small palm against his friend’s forehead. “Are you sick?”

Mori gently removed the boy’s hand, enclosing it in his strong one. “Don’t worry, Mitsukuni,” he intoned, sniffling. “I’m fine.”

The girls, who till this point had been utterly captivated by the scene, squirmed happily. “Uwaaaahh!!!” they squealed. “SO CUTE!!!!”

Kyoya, meanwhile, felt like something inside of him was dying.

His pen tip rested motionless against the page as he stared, not wanting to believe it. It’s affecting him, too? he thought. This is not good. His eyes darted around the room. That means that Honey-senpai and Haruhi are the only ones who are not affected... and there’s still nearly an hour of club time remaining. He frowned. None of the girls seem to be having any trouble though. He furrowed his brow. How odd.

He left the first station, head beginning to throb from the oppressive scent that saturated the room. As he navigated carefully between the tables and guests, he paused to examine the centerpiece that the twins and Haruhi had set up. It was admittedly quite impressive – a towering, pink-swathed construction created from various framework pieces they had used in other events, with the excess bouquets from the 200 dozen cascading elegantly down the whole of it.

Kyoya was expending so much of his effort in squelching his allergic symptoms that he did not have the energy to feel any more anger toward Tamaki at the moment. He sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose, as he listened to the twins share a sneezing fit. “Well, Tamaki, if the girls are all too disgusted to come back after this, it will be entirely your fault,” he muttered.

The sound of a powerful rumbling motor cut into his grouchy reverie. “Oh, no no no,” a shrill voice sang out, “quite the contrary!!”

Kyoya stiffened as the club’s infamous resident otaku-girl rose up from the floor on a rotating pedestal, her giddy laughter echoing across the room. The indefatigable lady-manager was clad in a long, flowing dress with dark red roses embroidered on it, and she had bands of tiny flowers gracing her wrists, neck, and hair. Throwing her hands into the air, she stepped daintily off her pedestal and twirled over to stand by the shadow king, skirt fanning out with the motion. “Today is a true landmark in the history of the host club!!”

Kyoya pointedly ignored her, adjusting his hold on his book and testing his pen, which seemed to be running out of ink, on the corner of a page.

Renge rushed on, preparing to provide a grand exposition from the wells of her expert fangirl insight. “This marvelous day – a day when the host room is overflowing with roses, and the beautiful fragrance fills your lungs until you want to burst with happiness!!”

Kyoya penned a careful line of characters. ‘Happiness’ is not the word that comes to mind...

“The atmosphere of the room, with the lovely flowers and sweet, sweet scent, fills every girl with an inexplicable longing to fall in love! The rose symbolizes romance, and thus it is a vital element that every host club must have.” Renge’s expression grew more dramatic (if that were possible). “And then, as if that weren’t enough!” She paused for effect, then clasped her hands to her chest in ecstasy. “To have the host boys themselves reduced to such a state that moves the girls to pity – for each girl to have a chance to care for the boy she idolizes – it’s a fangirl’s dream!!”

Kyoya’s pen strokes slowed. Wait. What?

Renge giggled, putting her hands on her hips as she surveyed the room, admiring the host stations featuring weary, sniffling boys surrounded by their blushing, happy customers. “It’s just like level one hundred and fifty-six of Uki Doki Memorial Classic! The love of a girl’s life gets sick, and she does everything she can to take care of him... ohh, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience!”

Kyoya finally glanced in her direction. “You do realize that none of the host club members are actually ill, right? That would be a violation of club policy. We don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea here.”

Renge shook her head, her long hair whipping about her shoulders. “No, of course not,” she trilled, bringing her hand to her chin contemplatively. “In the case of a host club, it would not be good for a member to be sick, because they could give it to their guests. But here it’s just the roses, and that makes all the difference!!” She scooped up some of the rose petals scattered across the floor and flung them into the air, causing them to land on herself and Kyoya. “It’s absolutely perfect!”

Without blinking, Kyoya brushed the petals off and started to distance himself from her. He was rapidly realizing that his proximity to the centerpiece was a mistake; as Renge prated on, his nose and eyes were beginning to burn. Renge trailed after him, however, taking two roses from the centerpiece. “Kyoya!” she effervesced as she skipped up behind him. “Don’t you worry. This will be good for business, just you wait and see!”

Kyoya stopped abruptly, causing her to flinch back. “Unless we break even for the cost of these roses that you seem so enamored with within the next week, there won’t BE a business,” he snapped, voice low and chilly. “IF we do not, it will be because of idiots like you and Tamaki.” He turned to her, eyes flinty. “Understand?”

Renge was so startled that she dropped the roses she was holding. “Oh.” Her tiny voice was almost hurt. “I... yes...”

It was at that moment that Kyoya realized exactly how thin his customary pleasant facade had become.

He closed his book. “Nevertheless,” he added, carefully reassuming his trademark smooth, diffusive tone, “it would appear that for the time being, your suppositions are correct.” Slowly, deliberately, he touched the bridge of his glasses frames with the tip of his finger. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

With that, he turned and walked away.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Now I'm not 100% sure when I will post the next - and final, unless I decide to break it up one more time - part; it IS finished, but some of it was a bit tricky so I want to edit it a little more before I put it up. So.. it could be today, or it could be later this week... <.< it all depends on how happy I am with it and whether school gets in the way sleep.png But it IS coming, I promise! smile.png

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This. Is. So. Good.

Gawds, woman. You've got all the characters down perfectly, as well as the tone of the show. This is all extremely enjoyable in and by its own, but then you went and made Mori allergic too?! I squeeeeee'd like the rabid fangirl I am. stretcher.gif Kyoya's struggle is absolutely delicious too, and like everyone else, I can't wait for him to finally give in. aaevil.gif

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Thank you!! happy.png Uhm, Mori-senpai? HECK yes. XDD That's Travis Willingham to me, since I watch the dub... and that man has a sexy fake sneeze... heheheheh XD

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*huggle huggle huggle* I WAITED ALL DAY FOR THIS.. GUH.. and Mori and Renge even showed up, in PERFECT CHARACTER I MIGHT ADD. I command you, Smiley, stop being so amazing~! xDDD. I'm almost jealous of your skill :P.. All the members in perfect character.. stringing me along like this, just waiting for Kyouya to lose it.. the suspense-.. it.. *swoons* xDD

But in all seriousness, you're just an amazing little writer, you~! Keep up the good work, and DON'T STOP.

.... what?.. a week to wait?!.. *dies* .. oh nooooo xDDDDD

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Yay~! I got Renge right!! mf_laughbounce2.gif I was a bit concerned about her characterization at first... but then I'm like 'well she's basically just a crazy otaku. and since she's an expert on fangirl..ism... I can just have her pop in and lampshade the caretaking fetish.' LOL XDD

Thank you! *glomps*

Well, probably not a WEEK. *is editing busily* happy.png

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:dead* *iz ded*

Ohmygahhhhhh, and how much more attractive can you make Kyoya.....Uguuu his struggling is just so....

*supermegaultraglomps you*

I can't thank you any more for this........

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Mori-senpai is epic!! yes.gif heehee ^^

lolz yes, Kyoya.... we shall see very soon how his struggling pans out devil2.gif

You're so welcome!! happy.png

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I am loving this fic soooooo so so so so MUCH!!!!

Guuuuuuuuuuh, it's so in character and so perfect!

The boys' suffering is just... Hehehehehe~ xD

And god, when Mori-sempai became affected as well... I was rolling around on my bed! :D

I am DYING to now see Kyouya!


I hope you update soon! I can't wait to read the rest!! ;u;

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You, my dear, are genuinely brilliant. Genuinely brilliant, I say. This is genius. Ahhh, Mori-senpai with his well-contained almost-stifles and that BUILD-UP, nngghhh :dribble: Seriously ineffably hot!

Also the twins are hilarious and exactly as they should be... tee-hee, and how did that experience of toeing the line of yaoi work for you? It looks perfectly good! If you like to do it, you really don't have to feel embarrassed to try more :)

Oh, I love this story. It's amazingly enjoyable and fun and hot and SQUEE! :D

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:drool: Not familiar with the fandom but... *fangirls*

So very well-written and awesome. :D Can't wait to read the next bit. :blushing:

*joins the squeeing masses*

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