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A Lesson On Sneezing


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Hi everyone. This is my first fic. Please let me know what you think.

Title: A Lesson On Sneezing

Author: Chronosynclastic

Fandom: Neon Genesis Evangelion

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I have made no profit from the creation or distribution of this story.

Summary: Askua (F) and Rei (F); messy

Asuka Langley Soryu dried her hair with a towel in the girls' locker room of NERV. She had changed out of her plug suit and into her civilian clothes after showering, but she left her interface headset on. The pair of red clips was one of her most prized possessions: a symbol of her status as an elite Evangelion pilot.

Asuka had just finished a synchronization test with her Eva. She rather disliked the periodic tests that the pilots were put through. For one thing, she was indisputably the best of the three pilots; she didn't need a technician spouting synchronization numbers to know that her control of her Eva was superior to the doll-like Rei or that idiot Shinji. Also, while she enjoyed piloting her Eva into battle, the synchronization tests involved just sitting still and concentrating a lot. Boring! She had to deal with all the hassles of getting into and out of the Eva cockpit with none of the fun parts. And she had to admit, as awesome as controlling an Eva was, it came with its inconveniences. Even after showering, the smell of LCL clung to her body.

It was a rank, metallic odor, not dissimilar to the smell blood. The unpleasant scent irritated her sinuses, and her nose began to run as her body tried to wash the offending smell out with a copious flow of mucous. Asuka couldn't smell the LCL anymore, but she could feel the frantic itch in her nose indicating that there was about to be a massive expulsion of the irritants filling her nasal cavity.

"Ah... Ahh... AHHH..."

Asuka glanced quickly around the locker room; no one way watching. While she knew she was supposed to cover her sneezes, this felt like it was going to be a big one, and she didn't want to blow snot all over the arms of the new shirt she had just changed into. There wasn't anyone else in the locker room, so just letting this one out wouldn't do any harm, Asuka though. She didn't have time to think anything else, because the itching in her nose had grown so great that it couldn't be contained even a moment longer.


The sneeze exploded out of her, causing snot to spray across the room from each of her spasming nostrils.


Asuka ran a finger under her dripping nose, wiping away the traces of mucous that had dripped onto her upper lip. She knew the polite thing to do was to cover her nose when she sneezed; but sometimes, it felt good to just let loose. And besides, she was the only one here, so what was the harm?

Just as Asuka was thinking that, she heard footsteps. Whirling around guiltily, she saw the lithe figure of Rei Ayanami. Her blue-haired fellow Eva pilot was wearing her school uniform, making her appearance particularly doll-like.

"What was that?" Rei asked.

Asuka groaned. It was bad enough to be caught failing to cover her sneezes; but what's worse, it was by the robot-like First Child. Rei was always acting superior, and was all about being proper and following orders to the letter; she was probably delirious with joy to have a chance to lecture Asuka about her manners.

"I sneezed, that's all." Asuka said. "There's no need to make a big deal about it."

"Sneezed?" Rei asked, a mote of curiosity creeping into her normally emotionless voice.

"Oh, come on." Asuka said. "Don't play dumb. Everybody sneezes."

"I never have." Rei said.

Come to think of it, Asuka couldn't actually recall Rei ever coughing or sneezing or spitting, or any other such human frailties. The girl rarely even blinked. She would stand around so much like a mannequin that Asuka sometimes had trouble believing she was even human. It was annoying how perfect Rei could be. Asuka wished she could just once see Rei get sick like a normal person. Actually, that gave Asuka an idea...

"Wow, you're really missing out." Asuka said. "Though I suppose I could make you sneeze, if you wanted to."

"I think I would like experience a sneeze." Rei said.

Asuka had to turn away from Rei to hide her grin. It was too perfect! Here was her chance to torment that annoying girl's perfect little nose until it went red and puffy with irritation and oozed with snot, and Rei would actually be grateful to her for it. She could hardly wait to see Rei's face contorted under the pressure of an oncoming sneeze.

"Follow me to my locker." Asuka instructed.

Rei waited patiently as Asuka rummaged in her locker for a few moments before finally finding what she was looking for: a long, white feather, perfect for coaxing out a nagging sneeze.

"Let me give you a demonstration." Asuka said.

She pressed one of her nostrils closed and gently inserted the tip of the feather into the other. Her nose was stilly twitchy from her previous sneeze, and the soft touch of the feather against the inside of her irritated nostrils quickly stoked the lingering itchyness into a full-blown impending sneeze.

"Ha... ha... haaa.... Hatschoo!"

Asuka put one finger under her nose as she let out a dainty and refined sneeze. She beamed at Rei.

"See?" Asuka said.

"That was not like your previous sneeze." Rei observed. "There was considerably less spray."

Asuka's face reddened; clearly, Rei had seen more of her uncovered sneeze than she'd first thought. For that remark, Asuka swore she'd be extra-harsh in delivering her tickly revenge.

"That was only an example; I wasn't as itchy as before." Asuka said. "But I'll make sure to coax an extra large sneeze out of you, okay? Now lie down on that bench and let's do this."

Rei complied mutely, stretching out flat on her back on one of the locker room benches. Asuka leaned over her, getting a good, long look up her nostrils. Though Rei's skin was albino- white, the inside of her nose looked the same as anyone's: soft, pink tissue; small, delicate hairs; the faintest trace of wet mucous.

"Ready or not, here is comes." Asuka said, waggling the feather in her fingers.

Crouching over Rei, Asuka slid the feather into Rei's left nostril. While she had only used the tip to tease the rim of her own nostril, she didn't hesitate in sliding the whole length into Rei's nose. If the girl was telling the truth and nothing had ever made her sneeze before, then clearly it took more than a gentle tickle to make her nose tremble.

"Feeling anything yet?" Asuka asked.

"Slight itchiness. Nothing I haven't felt before." Rei said.

Asuka twirled the feather, making it brush against every surface. She was certain that, somewhere in Rei's nose, there had to be a sweet spot; a sensitive place where the feather would trigger a reaction. Some hard-to-reach crevice packed with twitchy nerve-endings that could be agitated into sending out a cry of distress, saying that the sinuses needing to be purged...

"You're breathing through your mouth." Asuka observed. "Try breathing through your nose."

As Rei started to inhale, Asuka pressed the girl's right nostril shut, so that all the air would have to be sucked through her feather-filled left nostril. The rush of air made the feather ripple, the edge dancing against all the surfaces of Rei's flaring nostril, and Asuka finally saw a reaction. It was unmistakeable: the narrowing of the eyes, the trembling of the throat, the slight quiver of the nostrils... a sneeze had been set in motion, and would soon force its way out of Rei's distressed nose.

"I have... eh... a strange feeling... ehhh... in my... ehh... in... ehhh... ehhh... EHHH..."

Rei broke off trying to speak as the sneeze built up. She wrinkled and twitched her nose, trying to relieve the strange sensation that was building up inside her, but Asuka could tell that it was far too late for that. She took a discreet step backwards as Rei's eyes squeezed shut and her nostrils flared wide, her irritated nose finally letting out a large blast in an attempt to rid itself of the tickle Asuka had inflicted on it.


"Ha!" Asuka said. "What'd'ya think of that?"

"It was... intense." Rei said. "But not as powerful as your first sneeze. Based on your comments, I had thought you were going to give me a sneeze stronger than your own."

Unbelievable! She had tortured Rei's first-ever sneeze out of her, and her first reaction was to talk down to Asuka about it? Well, she wasn't going to take that lying down.

"You want a powerful sneeze, do you?" Asuka said. "Oh, I'll give you your sneeze alright. I've got your sneeze right here."

Asuka went to her locker and got out a pepper shaker. She unscrewed the metal cap and poured a generous quantity into the palm of one hand. Returning to the bench, she straddled Rei and tilted her hand over Rei's nose. A stream of finely ground black pepper trickled from Asuka's palm and feel directly down into Rei's nostrils.

"How do you feel now?" Asuka taunted.

The reaction was immediate. Rei's nostrils convulsed as the rough pepper kernels assaulted her delicate nasal tissues. Tears streamed from Rei's eyes, and her nose moistened as her sinuses tried to protect themselves with an outpouring of mucous. Rei's chest heaved as she involuntarily sucked in a large breath; a massive sneeze had clearly been triggered, and would come exploding out of Rei's convulsing nostrils at any moment.

"Ahhh.... ahhhhhh.... ahhhHHH..."

Asuka tried to draw back again, away from the sneeze she could see building within Rei's tormented nose. However, taken off guard by the overpowering sensation of the oncoming sneeze, Rei had unconsciously closed her hands around Asuka's arms. Though the girl's build was slight, her grasp was firm, and Asuka found to her growing horror that she could not break free.

"Hey!" she said. "Let me go!"

But Rei gave no sign of even hearing her words. She was completely overcome by the unstoppable force of the sneeze Asuka had triggered within her. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut; the depths of her nostrils filled with pools of mucous; and her back arched and her chest pressed against Asuka's own as her lungs filled with air for the impending eruption.

"AHHH... AHHHHH...."

"Rei!" Asuka said. "Don't you dare sneeze on me! If you sneeze in my face, I'll never forgive you! Let me go — before — you —"

But it was too late. The violent tremors running through Rei's nose had reached their climax. The girl's snot-filled nostrils, normally so dry and petite, widened in a massive flare. Then her chest contracted, sending an unstoppably massive sneeze exploding out of her clogged sinuses.


Rei sneezed with incredible force, and a large wet spray was blown out of her nostrils into Asuka's unprotected face. Asuka could feel innumerable drops of mucous expelled from Rei's nose striking her face. What's worse, the gust of air coming from the wet cavities of Rei's nostrils caught some lingering particles of pepper that were suspended in the air and blew them directly up Asuka's own nose. She was immediately overcome with a terrible burning itching sensation that made her nose quiver uncontrollably.

"Oh no... I've gotta... ACHEW! ACHEW! ACHEW!"

A series of rapid sneezes erupted from Asuka's irritated nose. With her arms still being held by Rei, there was nothing she could do to prevent herself from sneezing directly into Rei's face.

"Ahhh.... ahhh... ahhh... ACHOO!"

Though Asuka tried to hold it back, one final sneeze erupted from the congested depths of her nose, carrying with it a large quantity of snot that splattered on Rei's cheek. Thankfully, Rei had by this time regained control of herself. She finally released Asuka, allowing the two of them to separate. Avoiding each others' eyes in mutual embarrassment, they quickly went to the locker room sinks to wash and towel off their faces.

"Perhaps it would be best if decided not to tell anyone about what just happened." Rei said.

"Yeah." Asuka said. "And for future reference, let's try to always cover our noses when we sneeze."

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  • 1 month later...

I missed this too. I 've no idea who these characters are, but the messiness and the sneezing lesson are just fab. Mmm, mutual messiness....

I woudn't be at all surprised if Rei subsequently approached Asuka with a suggestion that they shuld repeat the experiment....with knobs on......

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Rei's chest heaved as she involuntarily sucked in a large breath; a massive sneeze had clearly been triggered, and would come exploding out of Rei's convulsing nostrils at any moment.

And what is it about sentences like this that I love so much... ;) Good story, keeping it coming :)

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I'm usually not a fan of messiness, but I love the interaction you wrote between the two characters...and...well, it embarrasses me to admit it, but the tickle descriptions were particularly sublime... u////u

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:jawdrop: Those tickle scenes! :D I agree with the other replies, this is VERY well written! I'm not familiar with this anime, but I do know what these two girls look like. You did an amazing job with not just the feather tickling Rei's nose, the inner feelings of Asuka, and the attitudes of the characters, but you also did description of the nose and the details of how the sneeze built and grew more and more intense in desire! Thank you for showing us this story! ^^
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Thank you all for your praise and encouragement.

Since my first story seems to have been well-received, I plan to write a couple a more.

I appreciate your support.

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  • 2 years later...


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