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Okay, so this is my first crack at an Avengers story. There seems to be a lot of interest in a sneezy Tony Stark...oh, Tony Stark wub.png I don't really know much about The Avengers--just what I saw in the movie so I hope it's reasonably true to the characters. This is the first part. There will be more. Hope you like!


“Everything go alright?” Bruce asked as Tony came walking into the lab. Iron Man had called out on, what Fury had called, “an easy half hour mission.” Clearly Fury’s definition of both “easy” and “half hour” were not the same as most people’s. Tony had been gone for almost two hours and, based on the gash along his temple, the mission had been a little more challenging than anticipated.

“Oh yeah. No problems,” Tony said. “Except for the multitude of problems that required my usual quick thinking and genius problem-solving abilities.”

“You’re bleeding a little, genius,” Bruce said with a bit of concern.

“It’s nothing. Plus, the ladies love a man with battle wounds.” Banner smiled but put down what he was working with and got the first aid kit. Starke was busy staring at a large computer monitor displaying a complex chemical equation.

“Let me clean you up a little,” Banner said but Tony shrugged him off, staring more closely at the computer screen.

“I’m fine.”

“Could get infected.” When that got him nowhere, the doctor tried a different approach. “You don’t want a scar do you?”

“You think it will scar? We can’t have that. I’m too pretty to have something marring my otherwise flawless, and always camera ready, facial features.”

“Then sit down for a minute and let me clean that cut.” Tony dramatically flopped down in a chair and waited while his friend put on latex gloves and poured antiseptic on a cotton ball. He tilted Tony’s head to the side and said, “This is going to sting a little.” Tony hissed. “Sorry,” Bruce said, his hands moving gingerly over the cut. After the immediate burning sensation went away, Tony relaxed a little. He sighed. He was starting to get a headache.

“So, how are things in the lab today?” he asked.

“Oh, fine,” Banner said. “It’s quiet. I like it down here.”

“And the other guy?”

“He likes it down here too,” Bruce said with a hint of embarrassment. Tony turned his head slightly so he could catch the doctor’s eye—let him know he wasn’t joking around.

“That’s good. I’m really glad it’s working out for you.” He resumed his earlier position and let the doctor finish by putting a couple butterfly bandages over the cut. “You were kidding about it scarring, right? Because I’ve got an image to maintain.” Banner laughed slightly.

“You’ll be fine.”

“Good. Because this face is priceless.” Tony stood up but was surprised when he got incredibly lightheaded. His step faltered and he felt Bruce grab him by the arm to make sure he didn’t fall.

“Whoa. You okay?” Banner asked. As soon he felt the ground solidify under him again Tony nodded.

“Just stood up too fast I guess.” Bruce frowned.

“How hard did you get hit in the head?”

“I’m fine. Promise. Thanks for patching me up, big guy,” Tony said and clapped his friend on the shoulder before exiting the lab. He got into the elevator and began the ride up to the top of Stark Tower. He shook his head slightly—he still felt…off. “Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir,” said the AI computer.

“Is Pepper back from DC yet?”

“No sir. She is scheduled to land at 7:00pm this evening.”


“Bless you sir.”

“Thank you,” Tony said. The elevator doors opened and Tony walked into the spacious penthouse. He was walking towards the kitchen when his nose was suddenly assaulted with a fierce tickle and sneezed again. HhahhTsshhoo! Ktschhoo! “Eww,” he said and wiped his hands on his jeans. He sniffed—his nose was starting to run. “Oh no! Jarvis, what is my current body temperature?”

“99.8, sir.”

“Call Pepper. Tell her I’m dying and I need her to come home right now.”

“Sir, if I may. A rhinovirus is a far more likely than explanation for your slightly elevated body temperature than death.”


“Bless you, sir. Calling Ms. Potts.” Seconds later, her disembodied voice rang through the house.



“Tony, I’m late for a meeting. What do you need?”

“I think I’m dying. I need you to come home.”

“Dying! What’s wrong? Where are you?” Her voice was panicked and she was already running towards the door when she heard him sneeze. HuhhAHHHsshhooo! Pepper froze. “Tony? Where you?” He sniffled dramatically before answering.

“At home.”

“Jarvis?” she called. The computer joined the conversation.

“Yes, Miss Potts?”

“What’s wrong with Mr. Stark?”

“I believe he has a cold ma’am.”

“Tony!” she yelled. “You called me and said you were dying because you have a cold?” Pepper shouted. “I’m hanging up now.”

“No waidt. I need you to come hobe.”

“I am coming home. Tonight,” she said.

“But I need you now.” ahh…Hahhktsschhoo!

“Oh for goodness sake, Tony! Take some cold medicine and take a nap. I’ll be home tonight.”

“I’b not tired.”

“Then watch a movie.”

“I’ve seen everything,” he said.

“Tony, I don’t have time for this! You can manage a cold on your own for a few hours. I’m trying to run a company here. Your company in fact.”

HahhSChhoo! T’sshhhoo! HuhhAHH’KSHHHH! Pepper frowned as she heard him sneeze three times. She sighed.

“Bless you.”


“Tony, get some rest. I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can.”


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Okay whoa :drool: this is hnnnnhhhh I love it so much I can't even kjsvnks I can't wait for more!

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Oh Mati, this was beautifully written! Your Tony was spot on and quite amusing as well. :laugh: I can't wait to read more! :heart:

BYE! :bleh:

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Uhm. WOW. This is nice, keep it up. <3 Hoping for an update soon~

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More Avengers!fic ?? YES PLEASE!

This is wonderful! Can't wait for more :)

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Hi all!

A short update. New fandoms always take me a while at first but I didn't want you to think I forgot about delicious sneezy Tony Stark. wink.png

PS: Has anyone seen the scene in Iron Man 2 where Tony accuses Pepper of having the sniffles and telling her to wear a hospital mask so he doesn't catch it? YUM!! wub.png That may need to be my next story...


“Tony, get some rest. I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

Pepper walked into the penthouse, dropping her briefcase by the door.

"Tony?" she called. He wasn't on the sofa and he wasn't in bed so that left her with only one logical choice. She walked downstairs to his personal lab--a mess of machinery and computers. "Tony? Where are you?" she called.

"Over here," came a disembodied voice, followed by a harsh cough. She followed the noise and found him laying on the ground making adjustments to...something robotic.

"I thought you were going to rest," she said looking down at him, her arms crossed.

"I ab."

"No, you're working."

"I'b laying down."

"You're laying on a cold concrete floor tinkering with one of your toys," she huffed.

"Firsd of all, this is dot a toy. Id's a type two protocol of the--"

"I don't care what it is."

"Aren'd you the one always complaiding thad I have no work ethic? Thad I'b always bouncing frob one project to adother and deed to focus?"

"You need to blow your nose so I can understand you. I need you to focus and work when you're healthy. And I need you to get off that cold floor before you get pneumonia."

"Pebber, bud I've almosd figured oud...hehh..." He rubbed his nose and sniffled twice before sneezing. HuhhNGSHHH! Hehh'NgShhhh!

"Bless you. What happened to 'Pepper, come home because I'm dying'?" she asked.

"I bay have overreacted," he said picking up a wrench and scooting closer to the machine he was working on.

"That was only four hours ago."

"Bud I was bored four hours ago. Dow I'b dot." HehhNgshhh!

"Bless you. Now get up," she ordered.

"Bud I thingk I jusd figured out how to bake the automaded robodic arb--"

"Tony Stark get up off that floor right now!" Once glance at her and he knew she wasn't kidding around anymore. There was a fine line between their edgy banter and a fight and he'd just about crossed it. He hoisted himself off the floor and gripped the edge of the table as he felt the room spin. Pepper grabbed his forearm and pressed her other hand to his forehead. "JARVIS, what is Mr. Stark's temperature?"

"100.4, Miss Potts."

HuhhEHH'Ngshhh! Hahh-NKSHHHEEW!

"And how many times has he sneezed since he called me this afternoon?" she asked. After a second's pause, JARVIS responded,

"Nineteen times. Twenty four including the ones you've been present for."

"A few adjustbends ad I cad turn you into the world's bost expensive doorbell," Tony said.

"Don't be grumpy with JARVIS," Pepper said.

"I simply answered Miss Potts' questions sir."

"Traitor," Tony said. Pepper put a hand on his back.

“Come on. Let’s go upstairs. I’m assuming you didn’t take any cold medicine like I suggested.” When he didn’t answer, she continued. “That’s what I thought. I’ll get you some medicine and then you can explain to me what happened to your head.” He twisted away from her and sneezed into his hands.

HuhhEHhh’NGshhh! Sniff Id’s actually a gread story. I’b the…ehh…theehhh HuhhEHGSHHH! I’b the hero of course, sustaiding an idjury id the lide of duty. UhhhEHHH’NktgSHH!

“Bless you, Tony!” Pepper frowned. “You can tell me all about it once you’re in bed.”

“Tryig to ged be indo bed, Potds?” He gave his nose a watery sniff and tried to give her a patented Stark Smile but she just rolled her eye.

“Yes Tony. I desperately want you in bed.” They finally made it to the top of the stairs Tony headed towards the bedroom as Pepper walked towards the kitchen. “Tony?” she called. He turned and she tossed a box of tissues at him. He bobbled it and it fell to the floor.

“Id’s nod dice to throw thigs ad sick people.”


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Hahah I love the end bit with the "I desperately want you in bed" and "Id's nod dice to throw things ad sick people" ! Too cute!

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You've done it again! This is simply fantastic! I love Pepper and Tony's adorable banter! It's so cute! More soon I hope! :heart:

BYE! :bleh:

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Awwgosh so cute :D I love their bickering, and the congested sound of his sneezing. PRECIOUS <3

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Mmm~ Sneezy Tony Stark? Yes, please. Ugh. I'm loving you so hard right now. <3

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Buttons all the buttons push them everywhere~ I love your NCIS and Criminal Minds stuff so I'm delighted that you've ventured into the Avengers and Mr. Stark in particular. His congested talking is really working for me and I love his JARVIS threats <3

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Glad so many people are enjoying this story :) Here's another section:

“Id’s nod dice to throw thigs ad sick people.”

When she came back into the bedroom armed with tea and cold medicine she found Tony laying on top of the blankets playing with his tablet computer. He did, however, already manage to litter the top of the bed with balled up tissues.

"Seriously?" she asked gesturing at the mess. He shrugged as she set down the tea on the bedside table.

"Did you suddenly exbect be to becobe a neat freak?" Pepper began plucking tissues off the comforter and threw them in the nearby wastebasket and then put it right next to Tony's side of the bed.

"Use the trashcan," she said. "And why are you still wearing your shoes and laying on top of the blankets? Honestly, do you really need me to explain how to take care of yourself? No. You know what? Don't answer that." She pointed towards the closet. "Go put on some sweats and then get back to bed." When he didn't move, she reached down and snatched the tablet out of his hands.

"Hey. Thad's bine!"


"Alright I'b going," he said getting off the bed. Just like the previous times he'd stood up, the room spun and Tony had to sit back down on the edge of the bed to keep from falling over. Pepper frowned as she instantly felt a rush of sympathy for him. Then her frown deepened as she realized how quickly he could make her go from justifiably annoyed to worried. It was irritating really. She wanted to be annoyed at his behavior but sometimes he just made that so hard. She knelt down in front of him and watched as he closed his eyes tightly.

"Is this cold settling in your sinuses?" she asked, knowing he was prone to sinus infections and, when the congestion got especially bad, it could through off his equilibrium.

"Baybe," he sighed. Pepper gently pressed her fingers to his cheek bones, the bridge of his nose, and above his eyes. As she suspected, he winced when she applied pressure to his swollen sinuses. "Hey easy on the merchandise. I'b ad Aberican treasure you kdow."

"Technically Steve's the American treasure."

"Low blow, Poahh...Podts." She grabbed a tissue from the box and handed it to him just in time for Tony to cover up a couple painful sounding sneezes. HuhhNgshhh! SNgshhh!

"Bless you," Pepper said.

"Thangk you." He pulled several more tissues from the box and gave his nose a congested blow.

"You actually sound pretty sick," she said.

"Did you thingk I was fakig?"

"Not faking...exaggerating maybe." Tony stood up, slowly this time, and threw the used tissues down on the bed.

"I have far bore creadive ways of gedding your attention than this," he said, walking towards the closet.

"Trashcan Tony!" she snapped, brushing the tissues into the bin that way literally inches away. She heard him mutter some incoherent reply as he changed. Figuring it was probably for the best, Pepper went into the bathroom to see if there was any vapor rub from the last time Tony had a bad cold. She rummaged around under the sink and found a small jar. Then she grabbed a hand towel and went back into the bedroom. "Lay down," she told her patient. Tony collapsed against the pillows with a huff and she kicked her shoes off and sat down next to him. She pulled the hem of his Tshirt up so she could get at his chest. The arc reactor cast a cool glow around them as she dipped her fingers into the jar and began spreading the heavily scented medicine over his bare skin. "How'd you hurt your head?" she asked, glancing at the bandage near his temple. She felt him tense slightly but she just continued to rub slow circles over his skin.

"Jusd a rund id with your average weapodized, mechanical hornet. Got clipped by a motorized wing."

"Close call?" she asked.

"Close edough." He glanced up at her and saw noticed the worry lines creasing her forehead. "Do deed to worry Pep. I'b good as dew." His voice rose sharply as he turned his head and sneezed into his hands. HhahhNGTshhhh! HUhhSNKshhhhh! Sniff. "Practically as good as dew."

"Bless you. Bruce fix you up?" Tony nodded as he made a grab for the tissues. HehhsnghSHHHH! ehhAHHsnssshhhOO! After blowing his nose he answered.

"His bedside banner is seriously superior to yours Pebber bud don'd worry. You cad still kick his ass in the daughty nurse outfid competition." She rolled her eyes.

"You're disgusting."

"You love be," he said. Pepper grabbed the towel and wiped her hands clean and pulled his shirt back down. Based on how much he was sniffling, she guessed the medicine was starting to do its job. She reached across him and put the box of tissues directly in his lap.

"You know you're going to need those in a minute."

"I hade how buch that stuff bakes me sdeeze," he grumbled, pulling a handful of tissues from the box.

"I know but it's better to sneeze it out than have all that crap settle in your sinuses and your lungs. Remember the great bronchitis incident of 2008?" she asked. Tony grimaced.

"Thad waaahh...Hehh...was a bad ode..." He held the tissues up to his face as the sneezes built. The mentholated vapors had worked their way up inside his sensitive nasal passages, loosening the congestion and setting of a fierce tickle in his nose. Ehhh...Hehhh AhhSNKshhhh! HuhhNGSHHH! Hehh'NgShhhh! HuhhAhh...Uhhh...HuhhEHH'Ngshhh! HuhhHAHHHNgshhh! SNgshhhoOO! He gave his nose a gurgling blow and then accepted the dry tissues Pepper was holding out to him, his breath catching again. HEhhSNTSHHoo! SNSCHHHOO! EhhHUHHKTSHHHHH! Huhh...Ahhh AHhh...HuhhhYIHH'KSTSHHHHOO! The final sneeze was so strong he bent forward with the force.

"You done?" Pepper asked.

"Thingk so."

"Bless you." Tony nodded his thanks and began the lengthy process of blowing his nose. He filled tissue after tissue until he finally was able to take a couple slow breaths through his nose. "See that wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked.

"Shut ub." Pepper just smiled and crawled into bed next to him, pulling the blankets up so they covered both of them. He leaned against her shoulder and she slowly ran her fingers through his hair.

"Get some rest my superhero," she whispered.

"You're not the boss of be," he yawned, snuggling up closer to her.

"Shut up."


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*implodes from awesomeness*

^Look what you do to me. :heart:

More please! :D

BYE! :bleh:

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eee~ I love that he's trying to be all ornery when he's snuggling up to her at the end Tony why you so adorbs! And oh that fit... where's my fan? Do I even own a fan? I might need to go acquire one. Hold on.

Okay. Now that I have this fan, I can reiterate -- the way you write his congestion, so good!

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Oh. Mygod. Tony is so adorable. I've only ever seen the movies too, that and a lot of fanfic, but this feels spot on for the both of them. And the way you write his congested speech! Unf! *steals serotonin's fan and fans self rapidly*

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Sorry it took me so long to finish this story. I kind of stalled and had a hard time with it. Hope you like :)

"You're not the boss of be," he yawned, snuggling up closer to her.

"Shut up."

She wasn't sure how long she slept. It was a necessary skill when working for Tony Stark—sleep when you can and be thankful for whatever rest you got. She looked over and frowned when she saw that Tony had turned away from her at some point and was now curled up towards the far edge of the bed. He was covered with the quilt but his body was still shaking. She got up and went around to the other side of the bed and crouched down. His face was taut, stress lines pronounced around his eyes and forehead. She suspected he was having a nightmare. Despite his insistence that Stark men didn't get nightmares, she knew better. Perhaps the other Stark men didn't get them, but they also hadn't been kidnapped and tortured for months in the middle of a war-torn desert. He never really talked about it but there was no doubt he came back a different man. Part of Pepper wanted to know every last detail of what they did to him over there, but another part of her was afraid to know. She brushed the hair back from his forehead and his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. Even without the suit, his grip was iron strong. She tried to free herself but he just twisted her wrist even harder.

"Ow! Tony wake up. Tony, you're hurting me. Tony!" Then everything seemed to happen all at once. Tony gasped, his eyes snapped open and he shoved her away from him, causing Pepper to fall backwards onto the floor. His breath caught in his throat and he began to cough. Pepper got back onto her knees and moved to pat him on the back but the look in his eyes stopped her cold. Panic. He was absolutely panicked. She'd seen this man be literally blown from the sky and still have that boyish grin plastered on his face. She tried approaching him again, much slower this time. "Tony, look at me," she said in a low voice. He’s stopped coughing but was completely out of breath. Still, he managed to raise his eyes to hers. "It's okay," she whispered. "You just had a nightmare." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Tony, look at me,” Pepper said. “Look at me,” she repeated. He opened his eyes and she smiled, raising a hand to stroke the side of his face. “Just a dream.”

“A dream,” he repeated in a raspy voice, as if he needed to say it out loud to believe it. Pepper nodded and continued to stroke the side of his face. Just when she thought she nearly had him calmed down, he started to cough again. Even though it wasn’t as violent as before she still saw terror flash in his eyes. She started to stand up when he managed to get out two words in the midst of his fit of coughing. “Don’t…go.”

“I’m just getting you some water. I’ll be right back,” Pepper said. He nodded but looked scared. Pepper was confused—Tony Stark didn’t do scared. He did snarky, flirtatious, manipulative, but not scared. She quickly got a glass of water from the bathroom and rejoined him. The coughing was subsiding and Tony had managed to sit up on the side of the bed. He drained the glass of water and then ran a shaky hand over his face, taking a couple slow deep breaths. Pepper sat down next to him and slowly rubbed his shoulders. “Are you back?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he sighed, slumping forward.

“Where did you go just then?” she asked. He just shook his head. “Tony, you were a thousand miles away. What happened?” He turned away from her and, at first, she thought he was just trying to avoid her question, but then he grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand and sneezed. Hehh'NgShhhh! HuhhNGSHHH! “Bless you,” Pepper said.

“Thangks. And I was sevend thousad biles away.” She reached over him and pulled a few more tissues from the box.

“Blow your nose,” she said. He did and she was able to understand him a little better when he spoke again.

“Sorry I woke you ub,” he said.

“Tell me about it.”

“Aboud what?”

“You know what.” He sighed leaned back against the headboard and Pepper sat cross-legged on top of the bed facing him.

“Tell me what happened, Tony.” He looked at her and she frowned—his eyes had that dark haunted look they would occasionally assume since his escape.

“You don’t deed that in your head, Pepper.”

“You have it in yours,” she said.

“Yeah,” he sighed. He sniffed and scrubbed at his nose but it did nothing to hold back the building sneezes. He pitched forward and sneezed into cupped hands. HUhhSNKshhhhh! HehhUHH’KSSHHeew!

“Bless you.” He nodded, blew his nose and threw the tissues on the floor. She suspected missing the trashcan was deliberate—anything to try and get her off the current topic of conversation.

“Want to watch a bovie? Dothing goes better with Nyquill than popcorn.”

“Tony, that’s not going to work.” He ran his hands through his disheveled hair.

“Yeah, I know.” He met her gaze with the unspoken question in his eyes—was she sure she wanted to know? Pepper nodded. “They would hold my head under water…repeatedly.” His voice was monotone—as if he was simply recounting a tedious board meeting. “I dever knew how long they’d keep be under. Sometimes it was just a few seconds…sometimes it longer than I could count. You know, that bay have been the worst part—the not knowing. I dever knew how long I’d be under. I ahhehhh hold on…” He managed to grab several tissues before sneezing. HEhhSNTSHHoo! Sniff. SNSCHHHOO!

“Bless you.,” she said as he scrubbed at his itchy nose with the tissues. His feet were the closest thing to her and she slowly began to rub his feet and lower legs, slowly and just enough pressure to offer a little comfort and to remind him she was there and they weren’t done talking yet.

“I would try and hold by breath…try and remind byself that they weren’t going to let be die—I wasn’t of any use to theb dead—but after thirty seconds or so I couldn’t keep byself frob panicking. By lungs burned and I just deeded oxygen so badly. They’d let be have a breath or two before plunging be back under the water again.” Pepper wasn’t sure if he knew it or not, but Tony had started shaking, sweat beginning to glisten on his forehead.

“Hey, you with me?” she asked. He let out a shaky breath and nodded. She crawled up next to him and nudged his shoulder. “I need you with me Stark—right here in this bed. You’re safe, got it?” He was quiet for a few seconds before bumping her shoulder.

“I’b with you. Thangks Potts.”

“Anytime.” She laid her head down on his shoulder. “So it spooked you when you started coughing.”

“Dot at first but…but when I couldn’t stob. I just couldn’t breathe. For a second there I thought I just bight be dying.”

“Not on my watch,” she said.

“Don’t want to have to look for another job?” he asked, finally a trace of his normal self seeping back in.

“I really hate job hunting.”

“Plus, where would you ever find another boss as good as be?”

“Technically you’re not my boss anymore. But the health insurance is really quite good.”

“You’re irreplaceable Potts. You know that right?” He turned his head so he could look her in the eye. He wanted her to know he was serious.

“I know. Same goes for you, Tony. You know that, right?”

“Sure, I’b one of a kind.” She leaned up and kissed his forehead. Pepper knew he didn’t believe it, but convincing Tony Stark of his inherent worth couldn’t be tackled in one night. Right now she’d settle for convincing him to get some sleep and getting over his cold. She got up and took his empty water glass off the nightstand.

“I’m going to refill this and leave it right next to you,” she said, walking towards the bathroom. When Pepper came back into the bedroom she was met with an amusing sight. Tony was sitting upright, eyes closed, nostrils flaring, holding tissues inches from his face just waiting for the sneezes to start. She put the glass down and kissed the top of his head. “Bless you,” she said. After taking a few gasping breaths, Tony pitched forward in a fit of congested sneezes. HuhhHAHHHNgshhh! SNgshhhoOO! HuhhEHH'Ngshhh! HUhhSNKshhhhhOO! HhahhNGTshhhh! Hehh…huhhAHHNGSHHHOOO!

“You don’t do anything halfway do you?” Pepper asked, handing him fresh tissues.

“Dot by style.” She rolled her eyes and started straightening out the blankets. After repeatedly blowing his nose, Tony finally seemed to be finished. Pepper crawled into bed and propped herself up on one elbow so she could run her fingers through his hair for a minute. His breathing evened out and just when she thought he was asleep he opened his eyes. “Sure you don’t want to watch a bovie?”

“Go to sleep!”

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ADORABLENESS! blowup.gif

Loved this fic! Poor Tony. :heart:

Love you Mati! :D

BYE! :bleh:

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*finds story*

*reads story*

*spins around in spinny chair for a half hour while squeeing*

WHY? Why must this be so cute!!!!

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