Does he have the fetish?

[Deadsh0t]

So, I've never ever admitted to my fiancé of three and a half years that I have a sneezing fetish. But for the past year or so he's been doing things that make me wonder whether or not he also has the fetish. There are times when I think to myself 'you're just seeing what you want to see; really, what are the chances of you being with someone else who also has such a rare kink?' and then other times when he'll do something fetish-y and I'll think 'OKAY, HE'S DEFINATELY A FELLOW SNEEZE FETISHIST'. But I really just can't work it out.

I suffer from hayfever which means a lot of sneezing in the summer. He constantly remarks about how 'cute' my sneezes are when they happen, and grins at me when my breath starts hitching before a sneeze. He's actually tried to induce me a number of times, either by twirling my nose piercing while it's still in my nose, repeatedly flicking his hair across my nose, deliberately exposing me to bright light (he knows I'm slightly photic) or the other night he started gently ticking the end of my nose with his finger because one of my sneezes were stuck.

There was another time when I just couldn't stop sneezing due to hayfever and was staying at his house. So I literally locked myself in the bathroom to have a major fit because I didn't want him to see/hear me sneeze on the chance that he doesn't actually have the fetish and would find my sneezing incredibly unattractive. But then I come out of the bathroom having finished my fit and see him sitting on the floor outside of the door with this huge fuckin' grin on his face. He was deliberately listening to the entire thing!

He did this really weird thing the other night, as well. I was in my room, and he'd come upstairs, stood there for a few moments doing this breath hitching and this totally hot pre-sneeze face, and I was just there thinking "mmm...yay", looks like he's about to sneeze, stops, GRINS AT ME and goes 'I saw that'. And then I'm all confused because I don't know what the hell he thinks he just saw, unless I accidentally pulled some really turned-on face or something. So I ask him 'saw what?' and he goes 'that' so then I get all defensive and go 'not my fault I find your sneezes adoreable'.

But then here's what really confuses me. I outright asked him 'do you have a sneezing fetish or is it just that you find my sneezes cute' and then he goes 'oh, I just find them cute'. But then a few months before that he was literally staring at me while I sneezed and I'm all 'you have a sneezing fetish' and he goes 'well you have cute sneezes'; he didn't even deny it! And then there was this other time when I tried to approach the subject from a different angle, and was all "y'know, my friend knows someone with a sneeze fetish, how weird is that?" and then he grins and goes "is it me?".

What the heck is all that supposed to mean?!

Sorry for the long post but...what do you guys think? Does he have the fetish or not?

[Owen]

Wow.... :0 You must be so confused! Dont take what i say for sure but it REALLY sounds to me that he has it as well orrr hes figured out that you have it and hes just trying to get you to admit it by acting like that :/ i hope things work out for you ^^

[Deadsh0t]

Wow.... :0 You must be so confused! Dont take what i say for sure but it REALLY sounds to me that he has it as well orrr hes figured out that you have it and hes just trying to get you to admit it by acting like that :/ i hope things work out for you ^^

Argh, I sincerely hope not, that would be my worst nightmare!

[stevie_sloth]

Hmm, this IS confusing!!

I think he either has it, or he thinks you have it (though if he DOESN'T have it, I HIGHLY doubt he'd think YOU have it. Non-fetishists just don't think like that), or he does NOT have it but he finds your sneezes a turn on. Just you, nobody else and not sneezing in general. And he's a playful guy who likes to tease you.

A person who I have referred to around here before (who lives in another country and we used to record videos for one another a lot), who is the only one I've ever told about my fetish...once I did tell him, he mentioned how when he did a sneeze vid for me once, he got turned on by his own sneezing knowing I'd be seeing it. And he said when I have sneezed in videos (not on purpose. I just happened to have to sneeze a lot while doing videos for him), he'd sometimes rewind the sneezes and watch them again a few times. So that's interesting.

Maybe like many other sexual-related things, there is a fetish spectrum. People who don't have the fetish at all...people who find sneezing cute or appealing but never quite linked it to anything sexual and who wouldn't even if they tried...those same people who WOULD then develop a sexual side to it if they tried...and those who have the full on fetish. Hmm...interesting.

[Deadsh0t]

or he does NOT have it but he finds your sneezes a turn on. Just you, nobody else and not sneezing in general.

That would be the hottest thing ever, I really hope you're right.

And he's a playful guy who likes to tease you.

He definately is

Maybe like many other sexual-related things, there is a fetish spectrum. People who don't have the fetish at all...people who find sneezing cute or appealing but never quite linked it to anything sexual and who wouldn't even if they tried...those same people who WOULD then develop a sexual side to it if they tried...and those who have the full on fetish.

That's a really interesting concept, actually. Or maybe even some people are pre-disposed to having a fetish but need some sort of 'trigger' to consciously acknowledge that said fetish object turns them on, and some people just never find that 'trigger'.

Thanks for your input ^^

[Graham Cracked]

I'm sorta noticing something very similar with my bf. He found out about this a few months ago (I even posted about it, it was horribly embarrassing even with how supportive he is) and he would usually only self-induce for my benefit. I told him I hate my own sneezes and he never seemed to question it. But for the past...I dunno, 4-5 weeks, he's been trying to induce me a lot more with scents, ragweed and other stuff. Every time I ask him why, he says it's just cause I'm 'cute', but he's also been writing a little and even attempted at drawing it, while at the same time, when I ask him what he's doing, he gets just as embarrassed as I was if I thought he'd find out about it before he did. I may be rubbing off on him, though I'm not entirely sure...it's confusing indeed.

[Deadsh0t]

I may be rubbing off on him, though I'm not entirely sure...it's confusing indeed.

It sure sounds that way to me. From a lot of the other stuff I've read on the forum, it does certainly seem there's an element of (if you'll pardon the pun, haha) contagion with fetishes. Maybe he's starting to like sneezing because he knows it turns you on, and as a result it now has the same effect on him?

Oh, and an update on the whole situation with my fiancé possibly having the fetish...

He seems to go "awwww cuuuuuute!" every time I sneeze. Like he comments every time. But then the other day he did this weird thing when I was in the middle of a buildup. He poked my lip and goes "that should distract you enough to stop you sneezing because it confuses your brain", and that's now made me think he doesn't have the fetish.

I am still as confused as ever.

[March Hare]

Huh. But, why don't you want him to know about your fetish? Are you afraid he'll make fun of it? (He certainly sounds capable of that, although it probably won't be malicious in the slightest.) And are you comfortable with keeping that kind of thing a secret?

[Deadsh0t]

But, why don't you want him to know about your fetish? Are you afraid he'll make fun of it? (He certainly sounds capable of that, although it probably won't be malicious in the slightest.) And are you comfortable with keeping that kind of thing a secret?

I don't want him to know about my fetish because he already has to put up with other kinds of really weird shit from me, and I don't want to dump any other sort of abnormality onto him for him to deal with. And he's not cruel enough to make fun of it, but I'm scared it'll put a massive rift between us because it's simply so ...not normal.

As for the comfortable thing it's sort of a lesser of two evils. I'm not comfortable keeping such a secret, because I don't like keeping secrets from him because he's the one person I can tell most things to but on the other hand, I'm far more comfortable knowing that if he doesn't know about the fetish, there's no risk of putting our relationship in danger because of my weirdness.

[stevie_sloth]

then the other day he did this weird thing when I was in the middle of a buildup. He poked my lip and goes "that should distract you enough to stop you sneezing because it confuses your brain", and that's now made me think he doesn't have the fetish.

I am still as confused as ever.

Hmm, this may still match up with my theory that he does enjoy your sneezing. Because preventing a sneeze, "interfering" with a sneeze or in fact ANYTHING to do with a sneeze shows an interest on his part. By touching your lip (a sensual part of you for him), while you were going to sneeze...that is a very interesting thing, in my opinion. It doesn't matter what he said or how he said it, about maybe it'd stop you from sneezing...that's not so relevant here. Guys say stuff all the time that is quite inaccurate to how they actually feel.

[tk2927]

Pixie,

My guess is that if you approach this the right way with him that you would have very little to worry about. That's easy for me to say, I know, but from everything you wrote I can't see him really having a bad reaction to this. He already seems interested in your sneezing while simultaneously not seeming at all weirded out about your fascination with his or how he finds yours cute. There is a certain level of comfort he already has around the entire issue that leads me to believe you can slowly introduce your feelings to him without him even balking at it.

I have a few ideas but the most prominent one to me is this: I personally don't like the term fetish- That word makes it sound like its dirty or something I have to be ashamed about. (I haven't really found a replacement for the word yet that sits right with me, but that's beside the point). If either of you feel the same way, and it sounds like you both might to some degree, asking someone point-blank if they have the fetish would probably put them on the defensive and deflect the conversation somehow, even if they indeed do have it. I can imagine that I would probably react the same way out of embarrassment or being put on the spot. Maybe there are more subtle ways you can bring it up at various times that will be more comfortable to both of you. Why not try saying something like "I think your sneezes are kinda sexy." If he asks why, you can draw all the parallels sneezing has to another sexy function of the body :-) He will probably get it, but we men are pretty stupid at times, so if he needs a further explanation, just act out your longest, breathiest, most desparate sneeze and most likely the blood from his brain will be gone in a manner of seconds (if you catch my drift).

I often wonder about ways to introduce others to the concept of the fetish without raising any red flags. Over time, I've come to think that doing it incrementally and creating as many parallels to the sexy aspect as possible will help lay the foundation without people even realizing it. Jugding from all that you wrote, I would try to replace some of that fear with excitement as to how you want to start seducing him into you line of thought. I imagine if you lead somewhere, he'll follow!

TK

[tk2927]

Oh, and by the way, I can only speak for myself, but I think someones personality quirks make them more interesting, and I wouldn't identify your fetish as another flaw he'd have to put up with, but a part of who you are that I think is entirely understandable.

[count tiszula]

Why does his sneeze-stopping behaviour make you think he isn't one of us? Surely he has just given himself away? Who but one of us would even know that sneeze-stopping is possible? Or care? I have done it several times, and enjoyed it hugely in a fetishy way. In fact my method was usually something like a slap on the wrist at the moment of inevitability. Perhaps it is the necessity of precisely calculating the moment that makes it so exciting. [incidentally, there do seem to be times when the inevitability is so overwhelming that nothing can frighten the sneeze away].

You seem to be in an admirable position; you don't have to do anything, and as ever, he will make all the running. However, I do suggest that you stop all this hiding in the loo when your delightful sneezes hit. The least you can do is let him see them in all their splendour and enjoy their beauty and frequency......

[stevie_sloth]

Oh, and by the way, I can only speak for myself, but I think someones personality quirks make them more interesting, and I wouldn't identify your fetish as another flaw he'd have to put up with, but a part of who you are that I think is entirely understandable.

THIS! ^^ YAY!

[Lalena]

Maybe like many other sexual-related things, there is a fetish spectrum. People who don't have the fetish at all...people who find sneezing cute or appealing but never quite linked it to anything sexual and who wouldn't even if they tried...those same people who WOULD then develop a sexual side to it if they tried...and those who have the full on fetish. Hmm...interesting.

I agree with Stevie. Even if he didn't have the fetish to start maybe he has subconciously noticed your reaction to sneezes and is replicating it.

My guess, honestly, would be that he figured you out and is trying to poke you into telling him. The only reason I say that is because I think the chances of two fetishists finding each other outside the forum is so slim. I could be wrong though. I really think you should tell him. I realize you don't want to bombard him, but he seems pretty cool about it anyway. It probably wouldn't even have an affect on him if he already knows. If he found out and was grossed out he would not be playful.

Keep us posted!

[Hollow]

He might have the fetish... I really don't know how to answer that...

[Deadsh0t]

hy not try saying something like "I think your sneezes are kinda sexy." If he asks why, you can draw all the parallels sneezing has to another sexy function of the body :-) He will probably get it, but we men are pretty stupid at times, so if he needs a further explanation, just act out your longest, breathiest, most desparate sneeze and most likely the blood from his brain will be gone in a manner of seconds (if you catch my drift).

You're a genius. I might just try that some day since it's sounds so much better than 'omgIhaveafetishforsneezingthati'vehiddenfromyouforthreeandahalfyears'. xD

You seem to be in an admirable position; you don't have to do anything, and as ever, he will make all the running. However, I do suggest that you stop all this hiding in the loo when your delightful sneezes hit. The least you can do is let him see them in all their splendour and enjoy their beauty and frequency......

Count, that entire post made me laugh but you do have a point. Now that I'm..slightly more convinced he's one of us or at least has some sort of subconscious fascination I'll certainly stop hiding.

Thanks for all your replies, I certainly shall update if anything of interest happens. ;D

[tk2927]

Good luck! It sounds like this could be the really fun part!

[party_girl077]

I think he an interest/slight fetish, but not full on fetish. That's why he's so open with it sometimes, because he isn't embarrassed because he isnt consciously thinking that he is a fetishist.

My partner calls me cute too when I sneeze and says all sorts of fetishy stuff, but I think he only has a slight subconscious fetish or interest too.