Bless you again, Father

[murphy dee]

So, there's a story I wrote that I posted here waaay back when, like 9 years ago when I was a senior in high school (long before I joined the board officially). It was just a silly story about a woman in a confessional with a sneezing priest, because priests are sexy and why not. XD

For some reason I was reminded of it recently, and so I decided to write a sequel of sorts. I'm still not sure who this woman is, if she's meant to be a future me or just an original character, I dunno, she's still nameless. And the sneezy priest is still sneezing for unknown reasons. Is it allergies? Does he have a cold? Does it matter when he's this hot??

Anyway, enjoy. This is ridiculous and self-indulgent, but maybe someone else will like it too. :3 (And hopefully it won't take me another 9 years to revisit these characters, haha.)

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I could hardly concentrate on the hymn book in my hands. My eyes kept straying to the pulpit, straying to the red-nosed face of that familiar priest. He was the same one from the confessional booth days earlier. Even though I hadn’t seen him clearly then, I just knew it was him. It seemed like it was all he could do not to sneeze during the hymn.

Shortly before communion, he gave the altar to one of the other priests seated nearby. I watched his hurried exit as he rounded the pews and vanished behind a side door. A few minutes passed and he had not yet emerged. I got antsy. The priest who had taken his place in the service was not nearly so eloquent—or handsome.

I excused myself from my pew and walked nonchalantly towards that side door. No one was looking at me. Now was my chance. I silently turned the knob and ducked inside before anyone noticed. I wasn’t even sure I was allowed to be back there. But how much trouble could I get in for going through a door, realistically?

The short hallway had two doors on either side and then turned a corner that ended in another door. I wondered which one the priest was in. I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“Eihh’chtoo!” came a harsh sneeze from the door around the corner, followed by more. “Eh’schoo! Ehh’choo! EH’KCHOO!”

I knocked and waited for a reply. When none came, I knocked again. Still nothing. Now I was a little worried, so I convinced myself that it was all right to open the door.

It was an office, most likely his. There was a desk, a small sofa, a bookshelf, a filing cabinet—typical office fare. The name plaque on the desk read Fr. Alan Pierce. Had a nice ring to it. I hoped it was his.

A second door next to the bookshelf opened and my priest came out flicking the water from his hands. Must have been a private restroom. When he saw me he damn near almost screamed. “Mother of—m-my word, you startled me. I’m sorry, can I help you with something?”

“Not particularly,” I said. “I kinda just wanted to come and say hi and see how you were.”

He seemed confused, and he sniffled as his brow furrowed. “Do we know each other?”

“Sorta.” I took a step further into the office. He took a step back. Was I really that intimidating? I didn’t mean to be. “You probably don’t remember me from the other day. From the confessional? You couldn’t even get through absolving me without sneezing up the joint.”

He scratched the back of his head and wouldn’t look at me.

“I told you I hadn’t been to confession in two years?”

That seemed to ring a bell with him. “Ohh, yes, I do remember y—wait, no, I’m not supposed to know who you are. Your confession is meant to be anonymuhh—hh—heh’chht!” He stifled his sneeze against the crook of his arm and stayed bent over for a moment.

“Bless you, Father,” I said. I was smiling. I couldn’t help it. The odd mixture of irritation and embarrassment coloring his cheeks was priceless, not to mention precious.

He sniffed a few times and tried to compose himself. “Well, if you don’t mind, I have some work I-I need to…to…” I watched his nostrils twitch and his eyelids flutter as another sneeze threatened to overtake him. The battle was written right across his face, and he appeared to be losing fast.

I reached into my purse and brought him a packet of tissues. Thankfully he didn’t retreat as I approached, and he took the tissues from me with a desperate hand. My timing couldn’t have been better.

“Eih’kchoo!” He buried his nose into one of the tissues and blew a little, which only helped to coax another sneeze from him. “Eh…ehh’CHOO!”

“Bless you again, Father.”

He moved to his desk and sunk into the swivel chair. “Thank you,” he muttered thickly. His nose was so red.

“Are you sick or something?” I asked, drifting casually in his direction. “Allergies?”

He kept sniffling and sniffling, as if he were afraid that blowing again would make him sneeze more. “I’m not sure,” he said. “It’s always hard for me to tell this time of year.”

“You poor man,” I cooed, slipping around behind him. He coughed and his shoulders strained with the effort. I tried to control myself, I really did, but he was right there. Right there. I put my hands on his shoulders then and felt his posture stiffen.

“What are you—”

“Shh,” I said. “It’s okay. Chill.” I started to rub, working my thumbs under his collar and into the base of his neck. He gave a sharp inhale in response and gripped the edge of the desk for dear life. I wished I knew what was going on in his head.

“Please, you shouldn’t…” But he never finished his thought. His skin shivered beneath my fingers, and then his stature deflated and he seemed to give in to the massage. I could’ve sworn I heard a quiet moan, and I smirked in triumph.

Suddenly his entire body seized up. His muscles tensed and his chest spasmed. I could feel him struggling to regain some semblance of control. “Hih…hh…eh’TCHOO!” He tilted his head towards his lap and sneezed down at his knees.

“Bless you, Fa—”

“EHH’KCHOO!”

“Bless you, Father.”

He sniffled like mad and blew hard into my tissues. “Thank you,” he said, sounding even more congested than before. He put his forehead on the desk, and I rubbed up his neck and into his soft brown hair.

Oh, if only he weren’t a priest. Then again, wasn’t that part of his appeal?

“Why don’t you have a rest?” I suggested. “You must be worn out.”

“Have a…rest?”

The poor thing was started to slur his words. Yes, he must have been exhausted. I helped him out of the chair, leading him to the sofa. I barely had to touch him and he collapsed onto the cushions like he was dying. There was a nice plush throw hanging over the back of the sofa that I tucked in around him.

For a moment I considered spilling everything and telling him just why I was doing all of this, because it wasn’t all out of the goodness of my heart. It was true that I wanted him. But telling him would take some finesse, some skill I wasn’t exactly sure I had. After all, what was he supposed to do with the knowledge that I thought he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen? And what was he meant to say to my confession that seeing him so sneezy and pink-faced made me want to kiss him all over and never stop?

His breath hitched, and I watched his eyebrows peak in the middle. Oh, he was gorgeous in his misery. He covered his nose and mouth with the throw to contain his sneezing, but the blanket’s fuzz only seemed to irritate him further. “Hh’tkchoo! Eh’kchoo! Ehh’tschoo! Hih…eh’CHOO!” He blinked, bleary-eyed, and lowered the blanket. He must have thought he was finished, but I could tell from that tell-tale quivering of his nostrils that there was still one left. “Hh…ih…HAH’KCHOO!”

“Bless you, Father,” I said for the final time that morning. I wished I could have sat there by his side and repeated it to him all day. He sniffled, cleared his throat, and then his eyes started to close.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice meek. “I’m not sure why, but y-you’ve been…very kind.”

“I try,” I said. Which was true, more or less. And when he was nearly asleep, I dared to lean in and plant a kiss on the tip of his red, red nose. Oh yes, I could make him mine. It would be slow and it would be difficult and it would be tricky, but it could be done.

I was sure of it.

[Emily]

YESYESYES I DO REMEMBER THAT STORY

IN FACT WHEN I SAW THIS I WAS LIKE OMG SOMEONE BUMPED IT BACK UP NO WAIT POSTED TODAY HOLY JESUS

*ahem*

Yes, priests do have that wonderful appeal. :'D So bold, sneaking a move on a nearly unconscious priest.

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

I think this may be my favourite thing that I have read in a while. Priests man. Mmm. Very well done, I hope to see more at some point eventually. Thank you for posting this.

[LovelyLinda]

Oh my goooood of course i remember this story!!! It is one of my all time favorites!!!

Its wonderful that you continued it priests are so sexy!

I love your writing style it is sooo charming! I really hope youll be posting an adult version on the adult board?

I would die because of happiness. Please please please?!!

[graydarkness]

Wow I remember reading that story back before I joined the forum, it's one of my favorites and the sequel keeps up with it. He does sound like one hot priest; his sneezes are so delish.

[murphy dee]

You guys are the best, for real. I can't believe anyone actually remembered the first story! XD Wow, that's just...it's seriously so flattering. And I'm really glad y'all liked this new one!

And LovelyLinda, I hadn't considered writing some adult content with these two...oh dear. The gears in my head are turning now...

[Raven Insight]

I wish I would've read the first one! This is too cute!

[a red nine]

I remember that story too! As soon as I saw the title I was like "That sounds an awful lot like this other story I read..." And then it was! This was a nice, cute little add on, very enjoyable. I wonder if nine years later, I'll even add on chapters to my stories... Anyway, this was quite a nice read, thank you!

[Merino Sheep]

This is really quite lovely. There is just something about a sneezy priest that's so yummy. =] I hope to read more about these characters someday. Great job!

Oh and is his name a reference to the show M*A*S*H?

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Lovely :3 great story

[peach2218]

Great story!