dying on the inside

[Emily]

So I just got my new laptop and I put everything on it and like the idiot I am I pinned the SFF to my chrome tabs and my brother takes the laptop and opens the internet to get stuff running for me. Now I have no idea how he did it because I'm sure I had a password, but then again he's a software programmer so he might know how to hack stuff. But I am one hundred percent sure he saw it and I am so disgusted with myself right now someone console me and feel bad for me please /crai I feel so stupid actually please yell me for being a dumb butt.

OTL At least the antivirus programs are running great.

[SapphireSong]

Waaaah!!! I am SO sorry!!! D: That would suck so much >.< I would totally die... but then again, if he never mentioned it or anything I would just pretend it never happened I hope he doesn't give you a hard time about it because that would just be MEAN. XP But yeah... pretend it never happened would be my advice.... *consoles*

As far as keeping this site away from prying eyes goes though, I NEVER open the site on my regular Chrome; I always always always use incognito browsing and then if people are around me or use my computer for something I make sure to close it so they don't ever see it by mistake... ahaha I am actually paranoid about people finding out (ESPECIALLY family members), since I've yet to tell a living soul... <.<

Antivirus programs are good!!

[EmeraldThread]

(<--That would be me if I realized anyone in my family - or most people in general - found out about the forum.) That's terrifying and awful and I'd be super embarrassed and kicking myself, too!! My advice is pretty much the same as smileyfacegirl's, though. If he hasn't brought it up, and doesn't in the future, then just keep on like he never saw a thing. Maybe he doesn't care enough about it to make a big thing of it, and calling you out on it would be a pretty crazy thing for him to do. Actually, it would be a horrible thing, deserving of whatever dirt you have on him (maybe why he's not bringing it up?) to be exposed.

I always always always use incognito browsing

^ This is also an excellent idea that I always neglect to use, since I get so paranoid that someone will find out about the forum that I'm reluctant to let anyone use my laptop, especially if they want the internet. Sorry I'm basically copying your entire post, smiley.

Whatever ends up happening, we're here to support you! It'll be okay.

[SapphireSong]

Sorry I'm basically copying your entire post, smiley.

haha that's okay! I'm relieved that I gave advice decent enough to be repeated!!

lol alas, my family members always ask to use my comp to check stuff on the internet <.< so I don't have the option of not letting them Incognito browsing is easy to use in Chrome though. All you have to do is hit ctrl-shift-n when you open the browser I always have two windows up, one regular and one incognito.. and on the rare occasions that i forget and use the regular window, I rush to delete it from my history I am VERY careful with my computer ahaha. People would have to do some digging to find any dirt on me.. and I never allow people to use my computer outside of my presence, so there is thankfully little danger of that. =P

Again, I'm so sorry that happened Emily!! :S Like Elements said, we're here for you!

[EmeraldThread]

Oh wow, I knew there was an incognito option, but I didn't know of the ctrl-shift-n shortcut (I'm SO bad at those, I end up taking the long routes for everything). On the VERY rare occasion I go on the forum on my family's desktop, I delete it from the history right afterwards. I let people use my computer outside my presence once, and the whole time I was gone (5 or 10 minutes, tops), I was internally freaking out about it. Luckily, the people using it were preoccupied with creating class schedules, but I didn't even realize what I'd potentially done to myself until I was halfway down the hall.

But if I were in your position, I would undoubtedly be a frequent user of incognito windows. In fact, I might as well start anyway, just in case.

[Scion]

WAHHHHHH. But as long as he never says anything you can pretend it never happened....maybe? I am no help. Come marry me and I'll protect you. But seriously, even if he saw it there's a chance he just SAW it and didn't think about what it was...right? And if he knew he'd be so disturbed his mind would immediately erase the memory like it had never happened? I don't know if this is helpful. Sorrrry.

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

Here, I will regale you with a sympathetic story: when I was thirteen, and just discovering the fetish, I was looking for people sneezing (celebrities, as well as regular folk, or scenes from shows I'd watched with sneezing in) on youtube, pretty much whenever my parents weren't home. As a relatively technologically illiterate thirteen year old, I had absolutely no knowledge of internet history, beyond the "drop down" function of the address bar. It was the family computer. You can imagine my mortification when my dad confronted me about it one evening. (I believe my exact reaction was to go completely speechless for two minutes, run to my room, lock myself in, and cry for an hour and a half.)

The "family discussion" and kink-shaming to follow (complete with a trip to a local psychologist to make sure I wasn't mentally ill --it should be noted that the psychologist was also a kink-shaming hack who later ran for mayor, and lost) did nothing to help.

Are you ready for the good news? The good news is that my parents completely forgot. Seriously. I mean, if I brought it up (HA. HAHA. NO.) they'd probably remember, but on a daily basis? Not something of consequence to them anymore, it's as if they've written it off as a phase. Even people I've told (an ex boyfriend of mine, a couple of my besties) frequently forget and when I hint to them they need reminding.

So, while I can relate to your humiliation and current whirlpool of despair, I can also assure you that it's nothing to worry about in the long run. Hope that makes you feel better.

[Pearlised]

OH, I have a similar story, nothing to Amy's one but When I was a new teenager who didnt really understand the fetish and just knew I enjoyed the youtube video's, though i knew to keep it a secret, My dad walked in on my in my room, on the computer with sneezes ringing out of the speakers as I clumsily started hitting buttons to make it stop.

Conversation went as follows:

"What's that?" -dad

"people sneezing" -me

"?" -dad

*shrugs* -me

Then he left with the oddest look. And the exchange was nowhere near as smooth as it looks in writing.

Many of us have been in this humiliating situation, at least you've not had to talk about it!!

Seriously though, they do forget, it was never mentioned again and I doubt my dad remembers- It doesnt mean as much to them.

Hope that helped a little

[Emily]

:'D Thanks for your moral support guys Group huggles for those of us who have suffered this ordeal LOL

@SFG: I had to google what incognito browsing was And wow, you are really in line with keeping your dirt buried. I'm probably way too open with it. Most of the time it's just my mom who comes inside anyway and the only thing she recognizes on my screen are Facebook, gmail and manga, so I usually am fine with just leaving my PM tabs open. There were a few times I just went nuts and clicked the +tab thing like a bajillion times so she couldn't see anything.

@ElementsofGray: Haha I probably exchange an average of maybe two hundred words a year with my older brother so he probably won't say anything about it. Maybe he was so focused on getting antivirus stuff going that he just missed it *fingers crossed* Now the one I really have ot look out for is my little brother who probably also has a sneeze fetish. My heart just jumps out of my chest every time someone walks in the room when I'm doing stuff I shouldn't be! ^^; and my solution for letting people use my computer is just signing off my account altogether and giving them the guest account. I also usually keep a Microsoft Word document open so I can just hide whatever fetishy business I was up to. :'D

@Scion: YEEEEES PLEASE ; 3 ; We can elope and pretend this whole ordeal never existed and my brother is actually a sympathetic and kind guy who is just easily misunderstood. Now that I am being rational and stuff, he probably just disregarded it probably maybe I hope.

@AmyParda: Oh dear lord, that's terrible! I can't believe they sent you to a psychologist. e __ e just goes to show the unforgiving nature of society. I'm sorry that happened to you :C Glad that they've mostly forgotten about that terrible incident though!

@Pearlised: OHMYGOD THAT'S ME ALL THE TIME. I'll just be sitting there listening to my recorded anime sneezing and then my mom walks in and I'm just like oiufoifudaioufioaufaios*KEYBOARD SMASH*HI MOMMY. I always keep the volume low and I think I'm like 100% more alert when I'm doing anything fetishy related. My ears pick up sound from like behind the closed door of the bathroom all the way on the the other end of my home LOL I think the general idea here is to forget about it and hope they forget it too. ^^; Thanks for your input!

[EmeraldThread]

A lot of guys I've known are kind of like that. They focus on their task and don't really snoop into other things, especially if they're not all that interested in whatever you do in your personal time. I guess that could apply to people in general (I'm a pretty curious person, though, so I'm not sure what other people pick up on), and certainly not to all guys, so I don't mean to generalize if it seems like I did. Dude, same! I'm usually in my room when I'm reading/listening to fetishy stuff especially. But for listening, I always have my computer on REALLY low if it's nighttime and everyone's asleep, and any other time (nights often included), I just use headphones so no one will know even if they do walk in. Sometimes I leave my computer open to a page on the forum or I switch to the forum tab without thinking while my mum's behind me or something and my hands kind of forget where all the necessary buttons are on the keyboard and go searching madly in all the wrong directions before finally finding the ones that change tabs. Like the mouse pad. Ah, I don't have a guest account. I'm not really sure how to make things like that, to be honest. Yeah, Word's pretty much my safe zone too. Every time I'm procrastinating and someone in my family is suspicious that I'm not doing homework, I pull it up to prove it...even though they're right. xD That was way too long a reply for this, I'm sorry. OTL

[Emily]

xD You and your elongation habits. A lot of guys are like that though. They just kinda don't really care ^^; I'm afraid of using headphones because I won't know what's going on outside ; n ; I just settle for very low volumes. I'm usually home alone until around 7PM though so I've got free rein until then Once I had my phone right next to my mouse and I grabbed that instead and just started moving it around, mortified to find that my mouse clicky-thing wasn't moving with it. The door opening just gives me a heart attack every time And I do the exact same thing with Word. My wonderful, wonderful scapegoat.

[EmeraldThread]

Haha, sorry, I'll try and keep the elongation to a minimum here. For the headphones part, I totally know what you mean. That's why I only usually put one in, so I can still hear and be aware of what's going on around me while I listen to stuff. But everyone's got their own way, I guess. :3 I'm not alone that often in my house, unless it's in the morning between the time my family leaves and the time I leave. About half an hour of wakefulness for me. XD Dude, I'd be like EVERYBODY PANIC if that happened to me. And possibly just slam my laptop shut. I know what you mean - sometimes my mum comes into my room without knocking or any sign she's coming in and I'll be on the forum and stuff, and I'll freak out for a split second before I realize I'm facing the door and no one can see my screen. Word is a great thing. The one thing schoolwork is good for: covering up stuff you don't want people to see.

[SapphireSong]

Haha, I use Word too!! XD It's always open to whatever school project I'm not working on. I always use headphones, but I make sure nobody is going to come in if I'm listening to... stuff :3 Which is usually at night when everyone else is asleep (like now, lol) One thing I've got going for me, though, is my room is arranged so I can sit on my bed with my computer and face the door. That way, nobody can come in on me without giving me a buffer space of time to minimize incriminating windows And I use shortcuts a lot. I used to not know any of them, but I learned a few that aren't very hard to remember. Like to minimize a window is alt-shift-n, and to close a window is alt-F4.....