The power to give a sneeze

[Nicolias312]

Sorry, a lot of typos, writing really fast. Hope you enjoy, but you probably won't its awful. Truly awful. i just wanted to show you a story I wrote when I was ten. Yes, I liked sneezes then too.

When Sophia was born, the first word she said was “Sneeze”. She loved sneezes, and had a great interest in them. When she turned 11, she got the best present she could get. It wasn't given to her by anyone, but she was still overjoyed. She had just tripped over a silver gold rock, she couldn't tell which, and she was tossing it in her hand, when her planner slid out of the open pocket in her backpack. When picking it up, she realized that she had a big oral report due the next day, and she hadn’t even started.

“Oh crud. I wish I could have the power to just, give people colds or make them sick so I could give myself one to get out of this,” just then the rock jumped out of her hand and rolled into the sewer. Before she could think, her eyes got watery and she sneezed. “Ashew” she had little baby sneezes, and were quite quiet. She thought it was allergies, but then she coughed, and was in bed for the next day with a horrible cold. She just then realized she had powers.

Over the years, she had gotten a number of people sick, and had realized that she could control the symptoms and how long the illness would last. Once she graduated collage and got her own apartment she didn't really use her powers anymore. Until she met a boy. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, and was beautiful, and she had him as a boyfriend.

One day they were having a date and she realized how much she wanted to have him sick so she could take care of him. So she made him sick.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nick walked through the door and immediately gave me a hug and a kiss.

“Hi Nick, how are you feeling today?” I asked, smiling sweetly

“Uh, fine, why?” He asked

“Oh, you looked a little sick. I guess it was just me,” I said.

“No, I’m fine,” he answered. Then I decided that it was a perfect time to make him sick. So I thought:

I want you to get a cold. A very sniffy cold, with many sneezes and sneeze attacks, and you’ll get very, very weak and stuffed up. It will last several days.

When I was done, I saw Nick’s eyes start to water, and he looked like he was trying to hold back a really back sneeze.

“A-a Sophia, d-do you –h-have any c-cof-coffee?” he said, his eyes tearing.

“Yeah, do you want some?” I asked, keeping her eye on

Nick so she wouldn’t miss his sneezing.

“S-sure. Um, E-excuse me,” he said before stumbling into the bathroom and erupting into a massive sneezing fit. I could hear him through the door. “AtaChooo! YaChoo! HaCHOO…Choo! TAchoo! HataCHOO! UtaChoo! AtaCHOO! YaTaCHOO!”

He came out of the bathroom with boogers streaming down his face. “Do you have ady tissues?” he asked, sniffling.

“Sure, baby, are you sure you’re okay?” I asked

“I’b fide… Ashoo! AtaChoo!” he said his voice really stuffed up. I went to the bathroom and got him a box of tissues. He blew his nose well, but he was still stuffed up and his nose was runny at the same time. I led him up to my room, and sat him down on my bed.

“Sophia, I’b fide, re-really AtaCHOO! I dod’t deed to lye dowd, I-I YAtChOO! Thidk this is just allergies, dothidg big,” he sounded really stuffed up.

“I thought you said that you didn’t have allergies,” I said suspiciously.

“Well, I do’t, but, Atachoo, Yachoo, Hachoo! Ashoo! AtaCHOO..CHOO!” He kept sneezing and sneezing over and over.

“I want to trust that you’ll tell me the truth,” I said

“Fide, I feel like crap. Will you take good..Atachoo! Care of be?” He asked, trying to sniff the river of goop sliding down his face. We weren’t a really close couple yet, so it felt kind of weird taking care of him. I wiped his nose though, and as soon as the puddle of goop was wiped, another one formed above his lip.

“I feel hor-horrible. HaChoo! AtCHOO…CHOO!” he said

“Well, you look horrible, Nick,” I replied, brushing his hair with my hand. Even though he admitted he was sick, he refused to lie down on my bed. Since I made it so that his cold lasted several days, and he lived alone in an apartment too, I knew that I would need to be taking care of him for several days.

I set up a cot and a night table in the side of my room for him since he refused to lie on my bed. The night table had a lamp on the top and a box of tissues. In the first drawer I had a ton of hankies to sop up all of the everlastion goop coming out of his nose. Cough drops and throat sensitizers.

Taking care of Nick was great for me, but torture for him. He couldn’t breathe and was sneezing every minute.

“Sophia, where’s your bathroom?” he asked. I pointed to the door across from my room. He tried to stand up but sat back down on the bed. Then I realized that one of his symptoms was being very, very weak, so he couldn’t even go to the bathroom by himself. I had to lead him to the bathroom. He went to sleep after. He needed the sleep.

“I love you baby,” he said.

“I love you too”

I hate it, quite honestly. What do you think?

[silentdreamer789]

I like it! I'd love to see more, if you ever feel like continuing.

[Nicolias312]

I was ten when i wrote this. I don't really think that continuing would be a good idea. I just wanted to show that I liked sneezing even then.

[Raven Insight]

This is adorable. I would love to see more.

[Natto]

This is actually really adorable, and it's very well-done for a ten-year-old! I know people my age who can't write this well. It's not perfect--for example, the story would have been better if you had taken your time to describe how Sophia used her power in the first place--but it's amazing for a ten-year-old. I'm sure you've improved loads since then, and I'm sure you will continue to do so as you keep working at it.

[graydarkness]

At 10 years old I couldn't write anything like this either, I'm sure by now you're an excellent writer. LOL I can also see where you're coming from about not liking it a lot since I see the magic more as a Dexs Ex Machina. ^^; Nevertheless, it was a very adorable story. I wish it could continue but nobody wants to get back to their old works LOL

[Nicolias312]

Gray darkness: Thank you, but I was ten, i really don't want ten-year-old writing quality in the beginning of my story. That would probably turn people off and they wouldn't want to continue.

Natto: That is so true, and I thought the exact same thing when I found this file on my computer! Great minds think alike. I would of changed it, but I wanted to keep it a memory of my sneeze, well not exactly fetish, more like sneeze curiosity, at ten years old. I wish I did include how Sophia used her power.

[Natto]

It's probably better to leave it as is. It's a record of your development as a writer. What I've done with some of my older pieces is leave the original as-is, but rewrite the entire story with my current skill-level if I still like the concept. Other times, you just let it be.

[Nicolias312]

I know this is off topic, but does anyone know how to change your picture, and how signatures and stuff work? I'm clueless

[graydarkness]

You gotta go to your username up at the top right hand corner and then click on it and go to "My Settings". Everything you need should be there

[Nicolias312]

Thanks!!!