magpie98 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 So, this is my first story so please tell me what you think. Also, if you want to post any new chapters/sequels to my story in the comments, please do so. I'd love to hear your ideas.The Downside of ExistingWith Christmas and Easter a while away, and Tooth's and Sandy's jobs done early, the five guardians decided that the night called for a walk. They chose somewhere quiet and woody, so as not to be seen, and were all glad to not be cooped up in one of their bases. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Everyone, that is, except Jack.The white-haired youth was trying his best to be amiable, but he was extremely bothered by an itching in his nose. His eyes were teary too, and his nose was running dreadfully. Thankfully, the others didn't seem to notice, and Jack wanted to keep it that way. He was having a hard enough time as it was fitting in, what with their inside jokes and wisdom that comes with experience, and he didn't want to stand out even more with his...whatever this was.Jack joined the conversation and was even beginning to forget about the tickle in his nose when Tooth flitted over to a cluster of wild flowers."Oh Jack," she said, "Aren't they beautiful?":"Yeah, they are." he agreed"Smell them. They're heavenly!"Jack shrugged and walked over to the flowers. They were beautiful, and he leaned in closer to smell them. He breathed in through his nose, and the tickle returned with greater force. Jack sneezed, H'itshu!, and sent a sheet of frost over the delicate flower."Bless you," Tooth giggled, "I didn't know that happens when you sneeze."But Jack wasn't done. H'etchu! H'itchu! H'itchx! His sneezes sent frost over the entire cluster of flowers, and caused the wind to pick up. H'etshoo! H'etshx! Finally, his fit ended and he sniffed, embarrassed and not wanting to look at the other four guardians."Are you okay?" Tooth asked"I think so," Jack said, "I'm just not sure what that was.""Well, I think it's obvious, you have allergies.""No, I don't." said Jack, "I haven't had them for three hundred years."North shrugged, "You also couldn't be seen for three hundred years."Tooth nodded, "Maybe it's affecting you now because your environment couldn't interact with you before."Jack thought for a second, "I mean, I guess that makes sense."The five's walk had led them to yet another cluster of flowers, bigger this time, and closer to Jack. The itch returned, and Jack didn't even have time to cover his mouth H'etchu Ishyu! H'itchu! Finally Jack covered his mouth and sneezed one last time H'etchmpsh!. Looking up, he realized with dismay that his latest fit had left Tooth with flurries coating her front and Bunny with his fur crusty from frost.Bunny scowled, "Hey mate, if you sneeze again, could you please refrain from frosting the whole place."Jack looked away sheepishly, "Sorry."They continued their walk, and Jack tried to stay away from the flowers lining the path. Still, this did nothing for his more normal symptoms, and the other four guardians did their best to ignore his frequent sniffles.The flower bunches continued to grow larger and larger, and Jack's nose couldn't handle much more. He began sneezing again. H'itschu! H'etsh! Hi-hi-h'itch! Although he was doing his best to control them, his sneezes left small patterns of frost on the ground.Tooth smiled slightly, clearly amused by what was happening "Maybe it would help if you flew a bit. You know, less pollen up there."Jack figured it couldn't hurt and began hovering off the ground. He had to admit, it was helping. Both his nose and his head began to clear as Jack flew higher and higher.Back on the ground, the conversation continued with Jack occasionally throwing in his two cents from thirty feet higher. Suddenly Sandy got an idea. Holding his finger to his lips, signalling the others not to say anything, he began gathering flowers. Tooth gave him a disappointed look, but did nothing to stop him. Sandy rose up to Jack's level a lovely bouquet of flowers in his hand. He tapped Jack on the shoulder and, before the youth could do anything about it, blew a cloud of pollen directly in Jack's face.Jack's breath hitched, and his nose wiggled once before he sneezed, H'itchu!, and the force of it sent him somersaulting backwards. His head involuntarily snapping during every sneeze caused him to continue flipping high up in the air. Finally, he sneezed hard enough to knock his staff out of his hand. H'etchu!Jack fell back to earth with a thud, landing in the middle of another bunch of flowers. He sneezed three more times before sniffing and looking up at the four guardians. Tooth had her hand clapped over her mouth and her eyes were open wide. She was clearly concerned by what had just happened, but she clearly found it hilarious as well. Although she was doing her best to control herself, North had no such qualms. His booming laughter seemed to echo around the field. Sandy was giggling madly and silently, while Bunny just looked amused by what had happened. Jack felt the color rising to his cheeks."Sorry Jack," Tooth said, "I should have done something.""It's fine." Jack said, avoiding her gaze.With his strong arms, North hoisted the youth to his feet and the five continued to walk. Jack sneezed twice and rubbed his nose absentmindedly. It was going to be a long spring.
Zane Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Haha this is awesome! Love Jack! thank you so much for writing this and I hope you write more fics about Jack. Jack needs some more allergic torture
VividBubbles! Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 OMG, I SAW THIS MOVIE YESTERDAY AND MY GOSH I FINALLY HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF JACK AND I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! Uh hum, anyway, any chance of a continuation? BYE!
magpie98 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 I'm taking requests for the next installment. What do you guys want to see? (I'm really bad at this whole "inspiration" thing)
Akahana Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 O__O ~<333333333 HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING ARE YOU PLANING TO WRITE MORE? I WOULD LOVE MORE~ <33333333 This idea (Jack having allergies) has crossed my mind before but I have never fleshed it out. I'm so glad You did!!!!!
Ciuty80 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 awww this was perfect!!!! allergic!jack is sooooooo CUTE!!!! :drool:please more!
Meala Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 WHY IS THIS NOT CONTINUED?? ANOTHER! HAHAHAHA )
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