Advice?

[Curious Clive]

I posted this in the introductions forum but this might be a better place for it so apologies for the xposting.

Hello there, first of all let me say that I do not share your fetish with you (even though I do have a few unrelated of my own so I do understand what it is like to have a fetish).

However, my significant other does so I am here to learn a little bit more about what makes it special for you and what I can do to hopefully indulge her a little bit more.

After reading through the forums I can tell that everyone has their own likes and dislikes and that there is no substitute for asking my girlfriend exactly what it is that she likes but I'm eager to hear about any tips you might have for me on living with a sneezing enthusiast (such as yourselves).

I think that my other half is slightly embarrassed (or at the very least fearful that I would not fully understand) of her turn on so does not always speak about it as often as she might do with someone who did "get it".

She is increasingly indulgent of my turn ons and I'd like to be able to give a bit more back

[Sophie<3]

This is very sweet of you! (: Really, what a nice boyfriend! I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for...

Hm... what I personally like is when my boyfriend tells me about his sneezes, like, when he just texts me that he sneezed and then when I see him next, I can ask about it. I like him to tell me exactly where it happened and how it felt.

I would like to say more, but this is the General Discussion, so we need to keep it all clean!

Maybe ask a more specific question? And as general advice, you should just try to ask her about it! I'm sure she'll be able to open up eventually. Most of us have issues at first, but I told my boyfriend a few months ago and talking about it got a lot easier over time.

[Curious Clive]

Well, being a new member I am not sure that I am able to post in any other forums (apart from general) yet. If you would like to say more though then you are welcome to send over a PM (I guess that I can receive them?).

Thanks for the advice though, the texting is a nice idea and so obvious now that I think about it.

[Joal 555]

you are welcome to send over a PM (I guess that I can receive them?).

Hi Clive, welcome to the forum!

Unfortunately, at your level of membership you cannot use the Private Messaging system. if you could find a few minutes to look at read before posting - it contains lots of information and frequently asked questions that will help you understand how things work on the forum. You will also be able to see which areas you can currently access and which will become available to you when you are "fully validated" a bit further down the line. In that regard, the validation system is explained in how do I get validated?

Of course, if you have any questions that are not covered in the links, feel free to ask the staff using the "contact us" feature.

In the meantime, we look forward to seeing you around and enjoy the forum!

Joal

[Hibiscus]

Welcome to the forum, Clive!

I think you should ask about what she prefers. It's really nice that you're doing this for her.

[MoonDuck]

Yeah, I agree with Mento. I don't really think there's anything you can do but ask her about her preferences about stuff.

what I can do to hopefully indulge her a little bit more.

Yeah, so I would say ask her, and then sneeze.

I think it's cool that you're coming here to find out more. Welcome to the forum, and I hope you find what you're looking for!

[HarleyQuinnSFF]

I would indulge first and ask her from there what she likes and or doesn't like... If she likes specifics then we can definitely help you from there on how to achieve those specifics welcome to the forum!!!

[Curious Clive]

Thanks all, I guess that I don't want to press her too much that she then clams up about things. It's obviously something that she has gotten used to not talking about and that is now her default setting.

Honestly though, I find it fascinating and who would not want to make their other half a bit happier if they knew they could? Though I am also wary of laying anything on a bit thick as don't want too try *toooo* hard as guess that would take a bit of the magic away.

I'm just thinking out loud here

[Nola]

Mine is a slightly different perspective here, but maybe it would be useful to you. Personally, I would much rather be surprised by a sneeze as opposed to inducing one, or announcing it, discussing it detail etc. Maybe she is like me?

As everyone else suggested, this needs to be discussed further with your girlfriend. However, if she is shy talking about it (I certainly am), you might try to explain how your fetishes make you feel, and not just that they turn you on, but more how having a fetish makes you feel. Then, maybe you could say that you'll be happy to discuss it whenever she feels comfortable enough and leave it at that.

Best of luck to you and your sweetie. I'm sure with a little patience and a lot of understanding, the two of you can begin to explore it with pleasurable results for the both of you!

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

Does she know you're here?

[Curious Clive]

Amy: Not as far as I know, no.

[Curious Clive]

Amyparda: Hopefully this is not dishonest and rather using my initiative.

Nola: I have been induced a number of times and I do know that she is not as interested in her own emissions as she is mine (and I'm guessing some other peoples, I'm not naive enough to think it is *just* mine ).

Induction might well be a means to an end though, once she has got tired of waiting for some more natural ones as I'm not the most sickly person, not do I have any real allergies (never thiught that I would follow up that last sentence with a "sad face" emoticon).

[Kiwifruit]

It's really sweet that you want to please her so much My boyfriend is extremely supportive and has fulfilled a good number of fantasies for me...we're very close (planning on getting married after we.re finished studying) and I've had nothing except good experiences in regards to the fetish with him...and yet...I STILL get embarrassed and giggly when it gets brought up, and find it difficult to talk about unless he asks specific questions As you said, it is something that you get used to really keeping to yourself. I do like it when he asks about it though! Of course it's impossible to say for someone else, but potentially she does want you to know more about it but finds it tricky to talk about?

Some things I really like that my boyfriend has said when we've been talking about it are "I'm really glad you're sharing this with me" "I feel like I understand it a lot better now" "I didn't realise that ____ before...that makes a lot of sense!" "I'm really happy you can trust me...this makes me feel even closer to you" "I really want to try doing that with you!" etc. It's encouraging to keep going

I do find it interesting that she's aware of your fetishes and still thinks you wouldn't find hers acceptable! Maybe you could use that as a lead in to show you understand? Something like "So I know with me, I really like when ______...I was wondering if it's the same for you with sneezing?"

Or just tell her what you've told us, "I love how you indulge x, y and z for me and I really want to do something just as special for you! I'm really interested in this sneezing thing...would you like it if I texted you when I sneezed describing it? What else could I do for you?" and try to encourage her to talk about it. If she really isn't comfortable and doesn't want to talk about it though, then you'll just have to respect that!

[Curious Clive]

"It's really sweet that you want to please her so much"

Well, one good turn always deserves another Seriously though, we are soon to be married (like you guys by the sound of it!) and I'm looking to try to do everything possible to ensure a long and happy life for us

"My boyfriend is extremely supportive and has fulfilled a good number of fantasies for me...I STILL get embarrassed and giggly when it gets brought up, and find it difficult to talk about unless he asks specific questions"

I would like to be a similar boyfriend, I think that I already am halfway there but in terms of specific fantasies I will probably have to ask outright about those (one day) as no doubt the breadth of possibility is quite wide. What are some of the more specific questions that I could be asking though?

"I'm really glad you're sharing this with me" "I feel like I understand it a lot better now" "I didn't realise that ____ before...that makes a lot of sense!" "I'm really happy you can trust me...this makes me feel even closer to you" "I really want to try doing that with you!"

Yes, I obviously feel that way and sure that I have articulated it before but it really does not hurt to positively reinforce and will make sure that I do more of that when next given the opportunity. The words won't be hollow either as even though the exact nature of the fetish is not my bag I do get off on giving pleasure.

"I do find it interesting that she's aware of your fetishes and still thinks you wouldn't find hers acceptable!"

I don't think that is the case, I think that it is just one of two things. Either it is difficult to articulate exactly what she likes or that on the great sliding scale of fetishes, sneezing is still considered a bit stranger (not to me btw) than something like PVC wearing (because it's less well publicised).

"Or just tell her what you've told us, "I love how you indulge x, y and z for me and I really want to do something just as special for you! I'm really interested in this sneezing thing...would you like it if I texted you when I sneezed describing it? What else could I do for you?"

Yeah, this is as good an approach as any I think.

Thanks for the detailed reply

Edited June 9, 2014 by Joal 555
As requested in post below (which is now deleted)

[Kiwifruit]

It's hard to say without knowing how she reacts etc what good questions would be, really...in the end you know her best and how comfortable she is talking about it. Also just seeing where the conversation takes you is probably the best approach...after all, you're soon to be married, she has be pretty comfortable with you and trust you, surely You don't want to fire them at her one after the other and make her feel like she's playing 20 questions either, make it a conversation. I suppose some things you could ask about as appropriate would be her preference for:

- Causes: Allergies? Colds? Pepper? Random?

- Types of sneezes: Stifled, not stifled, wet, quiet, loud, cough-like, single/double/triple/fits...most non-fetishist seems to react along the lines of "There are different TYPES of sneezes?" and trust me, yes, every sneeze is unique!

- Uncovered or covered with hands/tissue/handkerchief...?

- If the conversation seems to be going well...gender even? A lot of women in particular here seem to like both genders (like me...my boyfriend reckons it's hot that I like female sneezing And yet in every other way I'm straight xP), some people only like male or female.

- Favourite fantasies? Scenarios? Favourite memories or scenes from books/movies she's liked?

- Favourite thing about them/just ask what she likes about them? Build ups? Facial expressions? Embarrassment? Caretaking when someone is unwell?

- If she would like you to try inducing for her? Like Nola, I'm not really a big fan of induced sneezes, I MUCH prefer them to be a nice surprise But some people would love it.

Yeaahhh I should stop procrastinating and go back to studying for my bio exam now...

If she really isn't comfortable I suppose just say you're really interested and would really like to talk about it in the future if she was happy with that at some point, then leave it up to her to bring it up again. Good luck

[Curious Clive]

"It's hard to say without knowing how she reacts etc what good questions would be, really...in the end you know her best and how comfortable she "You don't want to fire them at her one after the other and make her feel like she's playing 20 questions either, make it a conversation"

Ahaha yes, I often forget that not everyone is as curious (some may say nosy) as I am

"Causes: Allergies? Colds? Pepper? Random?

- Types of sneezes: Stifled, not stifled, wet, quiet, loud, cough-like, single/double/triple/fits...

- Uncovered or covered with hands/tissue/handkerchief...?

-Favourite fantasies? Scenarios? Favourite memories or scenes from books/movies she's liked?

- Favourite thing about them/just ask what she likes about them? Build ups? Facial expressions? Embarrassment? Caretaking when someone is unwell?

- If she would like you to try inducing for her?"

The above is all very helpful, thank you and definitely gives me some new avenues and ideas to explore. I already know that she enjoys to induce and certainly, care taking (for the few occasions that I have been that ill) is a major thing for her. I guess I might have to consciously start trying to catch a cold!

I'm also pretty sure it is the build up, the tension and relief that she likes (I suppose in that respect they are not too dissimilar to orgasms?)

However I should definitely try to find out which sneezes are better and whether or not I should be stifling or letting them rip or using a hanky or a tissue.

Nice one, good luck in your exam