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Casual Cuddling


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Ok, so here's this.

I have a guy who's a friend, but not super close of a friend, we have a class together and only hung out once outside of class before this.

I kinda wanted to date him or something, I wasn't really sure, and eventually I kinda figured out he wasn't really the dating type. So then I thought, I just want cuddles, lets see if I can make that happen.

I did, he asked if I would come over once at like 1am but I was sleeping for work the next day. So the next day we took like a 4 hour nap together, cuddling in my bed.

It was nice and cozy (I LOVE cuddling) but I'm thinking about the last time I did something like this. I slept (literally) with a friend of a friend who was staying at our house and was really upset when he acted like it was nothing the next day.

I can't have sex physically (sorry, is this not ok in general discussion?) And I've also never had the desire to do so. Maybe that's why I just feel no lust, cuddling to me is so tender and loving. (Not that I feel like I'm in love every time I cuddle someone.)

So now I'm worried about this with this new guy. I want to just enjoy it, but I'm so worried about what it means to him vs. what it means to me. I feel like guys who do this kind of thing a lot have the whole thing down and practiced, like what they say and do isn't really genuine.

But we're friends, I want us to be real and natural. The last hour in bed was nice, we talked and talked an it felt normal to me, like friends. I also told him about how I can't have sex and he was understanding an said he'd met other girls with the same or similar problem. Though I'm also a little worried he won't want to cuddle anymore knowing he can't get any further with me, though I think that's me being paranoid.

I feel like we just need to hang more and get closer as friends if I want things between us not to feel practiced and fake.

How can I just shut up and enjoy this like I should? Have you felt like this before? Should I be honest and bring this up to him? I kinda want to.

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Yes. You should definitely talk to him about it. That's always the best advice when you're feeling something about how you relate/want to relate to another person, is to talk to them about it.

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Thanks! That's what I think should do too. And after explaining this to friends all day I narrowed it down to: We're friends, being together shouldn't feel like I just picked up some guy for the night, it should feel a little more natural and personal.

That's really all it is, it isn't such a big deal like I felt it was this morning.

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