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Learning Something New (Criminal Minds)


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I promised my brain it would get to indulge in one more fetishy fantasy before the weekend, and being me, I need to write them down to fully enjoy them. Sigh. heh.gif And because I'm a generous soul I decided to share this one too. You know, if I say I'm not going to write more sneeze fics for a while, my brain usually decides it needs to write more, but I sincerely hope it will give it a rest now because damn it, I have other work to focus on! blink.pngheh.gif

Yep, I'm on a Criminal Minds kick and I'm crushing on Blake. That's really all you need to know.


“There have been two suspected deaths in a horse farm in the past two weeks. The first victim was thought to have been kicked by one of the horses. He was found dead in the stable. Blunt force to the head. Second victim found dead last night, also in the stable. Head trauma, but this victims also had cuts on his arms that does not consist with a horse accident.”

“Horses are generally very gentle animals,” Reid said. “They very rarely attack people. However, they are flight animals, and if their flight instinct is triggered and there is no escape path, they can plough right through people, seemingly without noticing.”

“Reid? I didn‘t know you knew anything about horses?” JJ said.

“I took riding lessons when I was a kid.”



“Alright, but I want you by the board. Rossi, Blake, you go and speak to the owner. It‘s only forty-five minutes‘ drive from here.”


“So Reid has a cowboy side, who knew?” Blake said. “What about you, Rossi? Know anything about horses?”

“I’ve always thought horses are magnificent creatures, but I’ve never dared to mount one. Too damn big, too damn twitchy. And you? You do strike me as a horse girl.”

“Oh God no. Ten feet’s distance is probably the closest I’ve ever been to a horse, and only for a minute or so. I don’t know, I’m just not that much of an animal person, I guess.”

“Well, maybe you’ll discover something new about yourself today. You might turn out to be quite the cowgirl,” Rossi teased. She rolled her eyes.

“I doubt it.”


They got out of the car and looked around. A young woman in the saddle of a grey horse approached them.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m Rossi and this is Blake, we’re with the FBI. Can you tell us where we can find Joe Markson?”

The young woman dismounted in one swift movement Blake felt certain she wouldn’t have been able to mimic even in her teens.

“He’s over there.” She pointed to a man in his late forties, who was grooming a big brown horse tied to a pole next to the pasture.

“Thank you,” Rossi said and started towards the man. Blake reached out a hand and hesitantly touched the neck of the horse.

“What’s his name?”

“He is a she. And her name is Snow Flake.”

“She’s pretty.”

“Thank you. She’s a rescue horse, I’ve worked hard on getting her this far.”

Blake felt her nose begin to tickle. The last thing she wanted was to sneeze now, if what Reid said about horses was correct. She nodded in what she hoped was the right places while the young woman went on about how she had worked the horse. She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand; the same hand she had patted the horse with. The tickle only increased.

“Well, I’d better catch up with my colleague. Good luck with Snow Flake,” she said and walked briskly towards Rossi. While walking she stifled two quick sneezes into the sleeve of her jacket, just having time to recover as she caught up with him.

“Hello, I’m Agent Rossi, and this is Agent Blake.”

“Hello, I’m Markson, the owner.” They shook hands and then Markson went back to grooming the big, brown horse.

“This looks like a fine animal,” Rossi remarked. Markson patted the horse’s shiny neck.

“He sure is. Dressage champion. Never returns from a competition without a ribbon, and the colour is usually blue.”

Blake rubbed her itchy nose again. It seemed rubbing it did nothing to soothe the irritation. In fact, it only made matters worse, and she turned away, pressing the back of her hand against her nose, and stifled a sneeze.

Hegnxth! Excuse me…” but the tickle returned and she stifled a second sneeze, with some more effort required this time. “HehkNXTh!”

“Bless you,” both men said. She nodded thanks and sniffed. Her nose still felt irritated, but she didn’t think she’d have to sneeze again. At least not at the moment. She cleared her throat. It felt slightly scratchy. So she was coming down with something. Wasn’t that just great? Perfect timing as well.

“Were the victims used to horses, I mean… huh-iktSChuh! Excuse me,” she rubbed her nose again. “They weren’t beginners?”

“Oh God no. They have been around for at least twenty years.”

HeeehESSCCHO!” She rubbed her nose furiously with her knuckles and sniffed. It was beginning to run as well and she hoped she wouldn’t embarrass herself by dripping all over her suit jacket. Yep, definitely one of the most ill-timed colds ever.


She struggled to keep herself from sneezing time and time again during the drive back to the office. Rossi only asked her twice if she was alright, and she waved it off even though she knew she couldn’t hide her discomfort. God, she hated working with profilers. They knew everything.


As they returned to the office, her nose no longer tickled, it was burning. She did not look forward to the roundtable - hiding it from one profiler was bad enough, but a whole room? Even she wasn’t skilled enough to pull that off.

HeeISSCCHH! Excuse me.”

“Whoa, God bless you pretty lady, are you okay?” Garcia asked. Blake felt her cheeks heat up with an embarrassed blush.

“I’m not sure, I think I might be coming down with a cold,” she admitted.

“Oooh, those nasty Fall viruses. No tongue-kissing today then, I have a date the day after tomorrow.”

“I’ll try my very best to contain myself,” Blake sniffled and searched her bag for a tissue. “HaaISSCHOO! Jesus Christ…”

Reid came inside carrying a thin case file.

“You guys, I think the…” he trailed off and stared at Blake. “Wow.”

“How come that didn’t sound like the kind of ‘wow’ a woman likes to hear?” she muttered and blew her nose.

“You look horrible.”

“Thank you. HehhkgtCHUh! Heh-eSSCHoo!”

She wiped her nose and threw the used tissue in a trashcan, then rubbed at her eyes. They felt swollen and irritated. She sniffed, a liquid, desperate sniff, just as Morgan and JJ came up to the others.

“Whoa, Blake, are you alright?” Morgan asked, concern lacing his words.

“I might be coming down with a cold, that’s all. No need to… uhh… uh-eSSChuh! Ah-ESSCHOO! Huh-AESSCHkghh! Worry,” she assured them and pulled out a fresh tissue.

Reid bit his lip.

“Actually, swollen, itchy eyes, nasal congestion, runny and itchy nose, and repeated sneezing, especially…”


“…several times in a row, are all symptoms of allergies.”

“Oh my God,” she groaned, “Are you investigating my cold?”

“I’m not investigating, I merely make an observation based upon…” he trailed off again and cocked his head to the side. “Do you usually sneeze in fits when you have a cold?”

Blake glared at him over the tissue, but chose not to answer.

“I’m sorry to say it Blake, but you looked fine when you left, and after what, an hour around horses, you look like a mess. I’d bet on allergies too,” Morgan said.

“You kind of do look like me when ragweed is having its field days,” Garcia admitted. “I agree with my Greek God here.”

“Yeah, I’d put my money on allergies too,” Rossi said.

“Oh come on, now you’re putting bets on it?” Blake protested. “That’s even worse! Huh-EH-ASSCCHOO! Besides, how will you know?”

Rossi dug through his briefcase, found a chart of pills and popped out one, that he put on the table before her.

“Take that pill - it’s one of the most fast-working antihistamines on the market - and if you’re feeling better in fifteen minutes, you’ve lost the bet.”

“If I feel better in fifteen minutes, I’d feel like I won,” she replied, but took the pill and swallowed it with some coffee.

Hotch burst through the doors.

“We just got a phone call from…” he stopped both talking and walking at the same moment. “Oh my God Blake, what happened to you?”

“Agent Blake seems to have a previously unknown allergy to horses,” Rossi said. “Either that, or the world’s most rapidly oncoming cold. We’ll know for sure in a little while.”

Hotch shook his head.

“That’s definitely allergies. You’re not going back there, Blake. Rossi however needs to go back and talk to the owner again, we just got a phone call from his ex-wife saying she had an affair with one of the men and the other one knew about it and covered for them. That might be the motive. Take Reid with you and go.”

“May I ask a question unrelated to the case?” Blake said.

“Of course.”

“How can you give me one glance and say it’s allergies?”

Hotch sighed. “Do you have a pocket mirror?”

“Yes, of course, but…”

“Take a look at yourself.”

She did. The deep pink tinge around her nose could have been caused by a cold, but her eyes were so swollen, bloodshot and red-rimmed she nearly looked like she had taken a beating. That definitely didn’t look like a symptom of any cold she’d ever had.

“Alright,” she said and put the mirror back in her bag. “I’m convinced.”

“Look at it from the bright side,” JJ teased. “You learned something new about yourself today.”

“And, since you’re not a carrier of the plague, you are allowed to tongue-kiss me again,” Garcia filled in. “How’s that for a bright side, huh?”

“Truly a silver lining if ever there was one,” Blake replied with a deep sigh.

Edited by Chanel_no5
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Yeah... I'm loving this. Thank you for writing more of Criminal Minds. This is the highlight of my day. :)

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Total awesomeness!

“And, since you’re not a carrier of the plague, you are allowed to tongue-kiss me again,” Garcia filled in. “How’s that for a bright side, huh?”

So Garcia! I love it!

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Yeah... I'm loving this. Thank you for writing more of Criminal Minds. This is the highlight of my day. smile.png

Thank you! I've got another in progress. ;)

Awesome fic wink.png

Thank you! :)

Total awesomeness!

“And, since you’re not a carrier of the plague, you are allowed to tongue-kiss me again,” Garcia filled in. “How’s that for a bright side, huh?”

So Garcia! I love it!

Thank you! Yeah, I love Garcia too! ^_^

Awesome! I love this criminal minds kick that you're on heart.gif

Thanks! I'm having way too fun with it, truth to tell... :P

This is so great! I've always found Blake to be utterly confusing and impossible to write heh.gif And I love Garcia sass. It's the best!

Thank you, dear! I know, she's not an easy character at all... but I do write her confusingly and impossibly! :lol: I just make things up. :P Oh yeah, Garcia is truly a girl wonder. I'd love to have her for a friend. ^_^

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