Jump to content
Sneeze Fetish Forum

Gorgeous Animals: Criminal Minds, Blake (for Chanel)


Recommended Posts

Sorry for the long wait! I hope it was worth it :)

Alex looked around with trepidation. The team was in Kentucky investigating a series of murders of racehorse owners and jockeys. With just a month before the famed Kentucky Derby, the BAU had been called in to assist in solving the case. They’d only been in the state for an hour before another body was reported at the stables. Hotch had sent her, Rossi, and JJ to review the scene. Looking around her, Alex wished yet again that her boss had given her a different assignment—anything else that would have kept her away from the stables. She didn’t like being around such large animals. In fact, Alex didn’t like being around any animals. She found their lack of verbal communications skills…troubling. As a linguist she was distrustful of these things that didn’t speak. She didn’t know what to make of them or how to interact with them. Her husband thought her nervousness was endearing; Alex couldn’t disagree more.

“This time our unsub killed one of the groundskeepers,” JJ said, squatting down to look at their latest victim. That doesn’t make any sense. The groundskeeper doesn’t benefit from the Derby. Why kill him?”

Alex cleared her throat to rid herself of a slight tickle and then tilted her head, observing the positioning of the body.

“It looks staged. I don’t think he was killed here,” she said. “I think the unsub put the body here for a reason.”

“To send a message?” JJ asked.

“What kind of message does it send though?” Rossi asked, looking around and trying to figure out why the killer would place a body just outside the door to the stall of a prized thoroughbred. The horse huffed and pawed at the ground and Rossi couldn’t help but stop and admire the horse for a moment.

“Gorgeous animal, isn’t he?” the local sheriff officer asked. “Among the favorites for next month’s race.” JJ joined Rossi and the officer and made a soft clicking noise in the back of her throat. The horse lowered his head and she reached out and ran her hand over the horse’s face and muzzle. Alex took three steps backwards lest she be called over to share in the other’s admiration.

“I had horses growing up in Pennsylvania,” JJ said. “But nothing like these. These horses are perfect racing machines.”

“Wait a second,” Alex said. “Where were the other bodies found?” The officer flipped through his notes.

“The first was outside Crimson Star’s stable and the other outside of Sunny Morning’s.”

“And are they contenders in the upcoming race?” Alex asked, brushing an itch away from the bridge of her nose.

“Yes ma’am. All of them were expected to place in the top five at least.”

“It’s not about the people; it’s about the horses,” Alex said.

“The victim selection is secondary to the location?” JJ asked. Alex nodded but didn’t answer because there was a faint tickle in her nose that was threatening to erupt in a sneeze. She tried to rub her nose with her index finger as discreetly as possible.

“It’s unusual, but not unheard of,” Rossi said. “We need to see the other disposal sites,” he said to the officer.

“Follow me.” They began walking through the stables and Alex slowed down so she was behind the others. She didn’t like being in a corridor of very large, very aggressive looking animals. What was worse, the occasional itch in her nose was becoming more constant. She felt a pricking sensation that started in between her eyes and had now spread all the way to the tip of her nostrils. She sniffed once then suddenly pinched her nose shut, head bobbing twice as she crushed the sneezes into silence. Alex looked up to see if the others had noticed (even though she was sure to make no noise). To her relief, no one seemed aware and she lowered her hand with a soft, wet sniff. They stopped in front of a stall labeled Crimson Star. “This is where the first body was found,” the officer said.

“I don’t suppose we can get inside the stall to take a look?” Rossi asked.

“Yeah. Let me just call in for one of the trainers to come and lead the horse out. I don’t want to be responsible for handling a $5 million dollar racehorse.”

“Five million dollars?” Alex asked. “Someone paid that much for a horse?”

“That’s nothing. In 2004 a record $16 million was paid for a colt that was the offspring of Secretariat,” Rossi said.

“I didn’t know you were into horses,” JJ said.

“I’m into racing. There’s a difference,” Rossi said.

“You know, that could be why our unsub is going after people instead of the horses,” Alex said. “I mean, if our unsub had a financial stake in one of the horses he wouldn’t do the animals any harm. People, on the other hand, may be more disposable to heh…him.” She just managed to finish her sentence when she was forced to turn her back to her colleagues and stifle another sneeze.


“Bless you,” JJ said casually, taking advantage of the police officer’s absence to pet Crimson Star’s face and neck. Rossi, on the other hand, was a bit more attentive. Especially after her head dipped with another two sneezes.

hehhngkt! Ngtch!

“Salud,” he said quietly. He knew how much she hated any extra attention, but he was still a gentleman and felt obliged to at least offer his handkerchief. She waved it off (as he knew she would) and he tucked it back into his inside jacket pocket. Alex pretended to be interested in something behind her and turned her back to Rossi, rubbing her nose against her wrist. Rather than relieve the tickle, the last sneezes seemed to double its intensity. She happened to look up and catch her reflection in a piece of metal tacked to the wall in front of her. Although she couldn’t be sure, Alex thought her eyes looked a bit red. Then, by absolute coincidence, she was able to catch sight of something inside the wall of Crimson Star’s stable. It looked like…writing. She turned around, momentarily forgetting her fear.

“I think there’s something written inside its stall,” she said, coming over and standing next to JJ. Alex tilted her head and tried to crane her neck around to see better. Suddenly, she felt a hot rush of air against the back of her neck—strong enough to ruffle her hair. She gasped and jumped back, brushing her fingers over the back of her head like there was a bee in it. JJ laughed and patted the horse along the neck.

“He was just saying hello,” She said. Alex took a deep breath and backed away even further.

“You don’t like horses, Blake?” Rossi asked, obviously amused at just how freaked out she was.

“I’m…uh, more of an indoor girl.”

“You don’t say?” Rossi bit his tongue in an effort not to laugh out loud. Blake was unflappable in the face of serial killers but she was spooked by a horse. Alex felt her face heat up—she was embarrassed and felt the need to explain why she wasn’t an animal person but when she opened her mouth, all that came out was a sudden gasp.

Heh! HehhNTschh!

She only managed to half-stifle both that one and the three that followed.

hehNtschh! Ngtschh! heh ehh EhhTsschh!

“Bless you.” This time it was both her colleagues. Alex nodded, but took several steps away from them with the back of her hand still pressed to her nose. She could feel herself on the verge of another sneeze and had humiliated herself enough for one day. The tickle was a teasing rise and fall of pinpricks along the inside of her nose. Each time it seemed to reach a crescendo it would back off just enough to abandon her right on the edge of a sneeze. She sniffled and lowered her hand, testing to see what would happen. Her breathing immediate grew erratic.

ehh Heh…hehihh…hehTschh! Tschh! Ntschh!

“Alex?” The low sound of Dave Rossi’s voice registered at the same time he put a hand on the small of her back, gently pushing her even further away from the others. When she opened her eyes Alex was surprised at how badly they burned, growing watery as she blinked. “Here.” This time Rossi insisted she take the soft, white handkerchief she’d declined earlier. She dabbed at her nose and then gently rubbed the edge of the fabric along her lash line. “I assume you didn’t know you were allergic to horses,” he said.

“I’m fine. I just got something in my nose.” She wasn’t sure why, but the idea of admitting to an allergy didn’t sit well with her. Alex was careful not to reveal anything too personal about herself at work. She wasn’t aloof exactly, but felt her own personal quirks were to be checked at the door. She glanced up and did her best to reassure Rossi. “Really I’m fine. Have they taken the horse out of its stall?” she asked. Rossi glanced over his shoulder.

“The trainer is doing it now,” he said. “We may have to drag JJ away from here,” he added as he watched the blonde woman running her hand over the horse’s side and back as he was lead out into the open barn. She was talking excitedly with the trainer and Dave suspected it had nothing to do with the case. “You ready?” he asked Alex. She nodded with more conviction that she felt and walked with him to the now-empty stall. She had been right—there was handwriting on the inside of the left wall. It was near the floor and wouldn’t have been easily spotted.

“Not even your horse can run fast enough to save you,” she read out loud. “Hmm. That doesn’t give us much to work with.”

“Can you tell anything from the handwriting?” Rossi asked. Blake crouched down and looked closer.

“Doesn’t seem to be any hesitation in the handwriting—no tremor or difficulty writing even at this strange angle. Based on the slant I’d say our unsub is right handed, male, native English speaker, but that’s about all I can tell hehh without a more detailed ahh analysis.” She stood up and turned towards the back corner of the stall, bringing her arm up and sneezing into elbow.

hehhNTschh! hehIHHtsschhoo!

Alex was completely unable to control the second sneeze. Her nose was burning and the urge to sneeze was too powerful to hold back. She sniffled and had to wipe away the dampness at the corners of her eyes.

“Bless you! Blake, are you okay?” JJ asked. She’d never seen her coworker yawn, much less sneeze multiple times. Alex nodded, but her breath was already wavering again. She pinched her nose and was disgusted when she heard a damp squishing noise. This time when she sneezed she managed to stifle them, but they came one after another after another.

HehNGKT! NKTch! hhNTchh! Ntschh! Tschh!

“JJ? Can you go check in with sheriff and let him know we need this area dusted for prints? We’re going to need to revisit the other dump sites as well.” Rossi nodded when JJ gave him a confused look and she understood—he was trying to give Alex a break. As soon as the younger woman was out of earshot, Rossi tugged at Blake’s arm until she turned around. She might have been teetering on an allergy attack earlier, but the additional twenty minutes in the stables had obviously pushed her over the edge. Her eyes were watery and pink around the lashes.

“I’b sorry,” she said, sniffling. “I just need a minute to—”

“What you need is a double dose of antihistamines,” Rossi said. He tried putting a hand on her back but she moved away.

“I’m fide.” It might have been more convincing if her nose wasn’t completely blocked (though somehow also in danger of dripping). It also might have been more convincing if she didn’t immediately double over with a violent, wet sneeze.


“Bless you, Alex.” When she straightened up and shoved the hair out of her face Dave was able to see how embarrassed she was—averting his eyes, sniffling to avoid having to blow her nose, and keeping her body angled slightly away from her. He sighed and dug the SUV keys out of his pocket. “Here. Just don’t drive off and leave JJ and I stranded here, okay?”

She took the keys (and the opportunity to save face) and walked off towards where they had parked. Her eyes were threatening to overflow. They were hot and gritty, stinging every time she blinked. The FBI-issued car had never looked so good as it did when she turned the corner, yanked open the passenger’s door, and collapsed in the seat with an exhausted sigh. She reached over and stuck the keys in the ignition, then adjusted the air conditioning. Now that she had some privacy, Alex dropped the pretense of feeling anything other than miserable. Her nose was on fire, nostrils twitching and flaring as she struggled with the urge to sneeze again. While she was tempted to flip down the vanity mirror, Blake knew what she’d see—red, watery eyes and a pink, damp nose. She grabbed the handkerchief that Rossi had given her earlier and folded it over and holding it over her nose and mouth. She didn’t try and stifle or restrain the sneezes. She just let them overtake her as each one rose from the depths of her irritated sinuses and shook free from her exhausted body.

heh ehh…hehhIhhhSHHHeeew! Ehh…hehhKTSCHHHeew!

A hot tear slipped from each eye and tracked down her face before dripping onto the handkerchief that stayed firmly clamped over the lower part of her face. Alex doubled over with the next fit, her head nearly hitting her knees.

hehhihhhSHHHHeew! EhhSNSCHHHeew! heh…Ehhh hehhIHHKTSCHHHeeew!

Her nose was streaming and each sneeze sprayed into the fabric. She took advantage of a very brief reprieve to try and find a dry place to blow her nose. Her breath was still hitching wildly, her vision obscured from the allergic tears now streaming down her face.

hehhIHHtschhhheew! EhhhNTSCHHHeew! hhKTSSCHHHHeeew!

Alex heard the driver’s side door open and close—Rossi. She wanted to stop sneezing, wanted to exhibit some modicum of control, but that time had come and gone. The allergens that had been teasing her since they’d arrived had now completely overwhelmed her.

EhhTSCHHHeew! heh hhhIHHTSSCHHeew! EhhSNSCHHHeew!

Rossi’s frown deepened as he watched Alex continue to sneeze every few seconds. She was the picture of allergic misery. Without a word, he shifted the car into drive and pulled out onto the road. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, if there was anything he could do to make her feel better, but he didn’t. She was embarrassed enough as it was; drawing more attention to it was just rubbing salt in the wound.

“Wheehh—heh where are we going?” Alex stuttered.


“Salud. We’re going to a drug store, then you’re going back to the hotel.”

“Whahh hehh what about hehh hhIHHTSCHHeew! hehhIhhhSHHHeeew! hehhKTSCHHHeew!

“Hotch is having Reid come out to finish reviewing the scene with JJ. She’s going to just wait there until he shows up with another car. I think she was rather pleased to have a chance to stay with the horses a while longer.” She groaned at the word “horses” and sniffled miserably. Rossi glanced over at her. “Alex, do you need to see a doctor?” he asked carefully.

“No. I’b fihehh EhhTSCHHeew!

Rossi pulled into the parking lot of a drug store and put the car in park. He put a hand on her shoulder and ignored it when she stiffened.

“Hey. Alex?” He waited until she reluctantly turned a set of watery eyes in his direction. “I understand, okay? But I need you to be honest with me. Do you need to see a doctor?”

“Rossi, I’b miserable but I’m fine.”

“Okay. Sit tight. I’ll be back.” Rossi got out of the car and Alex buried her nose in the last usable part of the handkerchief and blew her nose. If she never saw a horse again it would be too soon.


“Ugh.” She rested her head in her hands and tried to will her nose to calm down. She couldn’t remember the last time she sneezed so hard or for so long. Even her abdomen muscles ached and she was getting dizzy from the violent sneezing fits.


“Bless you,” Rossi said, sliding back into the car. He reached into one of the two bags he brought with him and pulled out a box of Kleenex. After tearing the top off he handed the box to Alex and she immediately grabbed a generous handful and pressed them to her poor nose.


Rossi couldn’t help it—he reached over squeezed her knee. She looked so pathetic and obviously felt terrible.

“If you ever stop sneezing long enough, there’s Benadryl in here,” he said, putting a shopping bag on her lap. He could have sworn he saw the very hint of a smile.

“Thanks Rossi.”

Link to comment

Guhh... :dribble: oh my God, I think you just killed me with all that delicious misery... :stretcher:

Thank you so, so much, that's just... :wub: GAH, I'm not coherent at all right now! :blink::lol: It's perfect!

Link to comment

I usually have an aversion to fanfic stories; even though they are usually written well, there just is this thing in the back of my mind saying 'this isn't right'. I do keep skimming though random ones on occasion because I WANT to like them...well, I now found one I like :)

This is well-written of course, but I think the thing I liked about it was that the fanfic part was setting the stage for the allergies/sneezing, instead of the sneezing/allergies squeezed into a whole Criminal Minds story.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...