"Where did we get these sheets?" A Theatre Obs

[decrescendo]

Alright, so this obs is a bit old. I've had it sitting for a while and decided now was as good a time as any to post it.

The players:

• The guy playing Tevye. He used to be a football player, so he is BUILT. I've known him for a few years, and I've known him to sneeze so much he had to leave the room whenever we have to clean out the prop closet, so I had always just assumed he was allergic to dust. A little shorter than me, maybe 6' tall. Short brown hair, a soft yet handsome face, and a strong nose. We'll call him Henry (a fake name, from his least favorite character in Dorian Gray). I've always had a bit of a thing for him.
• Our director, Ms. K.

So this was back in March of this year. We were in rehearsal for Fiddler on the Roof (I played Lazar Wolf). We had just gotten our new theater space and we were all really excited about it. The rehearsals were pretty much ob-free for the most part, and I have to admit it was kind of getting me down. That all changed with the bedroom scene.

There's a scene in the show where Tevye (the protagonist) and his wife are sleeping in a bed together. The bed only appears for that scene, and yet the bed was probably the most complicated set element we had. it had to slant up so the audience could see the actors. Designing it was hell, but it got built out of plywood, painted to look presentable, and equipped with a donated mattress pad, sheet set, and pillows. Everything was good to go. We rolled it in to rehearse the bedroom scene.

Henry comes out in his nightgown, which is a garment more in name than in practice. It's a very thin piece of white linen, and everyone had a nice laugh over that. I'm supposed to dance in the upcoming scene, so I'm waiting in the wings with a good view of the stage, and I notice something a bit odd: he keeps sniffling and scrubbing at his nose with his wrist.

Meanwhile, Ms. K is up in the light booth, getting the lighting for the scene worked out, Henry standing, waiting for direction. She turns on a bright light by mistake, making Henry sneeze. It's sudden and forceful, like "HehKGGCHHoooh..."

That isn't the end, though. He sneezes two more ("HecKGHSCHOO!! HurESHooo!!") in the next minute. "Ms. K..." he calls up to the light booth, his voice stuffy. "Just a minute, honey," she calls back, preoccupied with the lights. "HuTCHGGSHOO...!! Ms. K!!"

"What, baby?" she calls down, a bit irritated. "Where did we get these sheets?" he asked. "I don't know, from X's mom?" Henry audibly groans. "X has--HuECKSHOO!!--cats, Ms. K. These sheets are covered in cat hair. I need to go blow my nose..."

"I think you'll live," she replies.

So he has to stay there and finish the scene. His sneezes are getting messier but he can't get the costume messy so every time he sneezes, he pitches forward and aims towards the floor. The floors are cheap, so there's still a spot from that day on the floor.

Mind you, he isn't even IN the bed yet. The nightgown was stored with the sheets, so it had some dander on it too. But when he got in the bed (very carefully, I might add), it was like opening the floodgates. He couldn't finish a line without sneezing. He tried stifling but that just made him sneeze more. "HhKNTT..! KNTTT!!! KNNTZCHOOO!!!" He kept it up through the whole scene, and even through the song. When the (agonizing) scene was finally over, Ms. K said "Okay, baby, go blow your nose and wash up" (his face was a mess at that point and his nose was bright pink).

He made a beeline for the backstage area and through the door, I heard him sneeze into a tissue at least another five times between loud, wet blows. When he came out, his nose and eyes were matching shades of red. I felt kinda sorry for the poor guy--but not too sorry.

He recently expressed interest in hooking up with me, though I had to decline since I'm in a very happy, committed relationship. Still, it's nice to know you could get it if you wanted to

One of my favorite obs of all time, sorry about the length, hope you enjoyed!

[Psyneezy]

Woow-weee! What a fit to witness

[Melody]

My god.... that is just wow! So amazing! Your a lucky guy!

[Snufaleeze]

Hot! Hot. Hot. Hot. Did you end up using the sheets for the performance?

[happybunny]

Woaaahhh jesus hold the water by!!

[decrescendo]

Hot! Hot. Hot. Hot. Did you end up using the sheets for the performance?

I don't think so. Either we washed them or he started taking some super strong meds cause he didn't have any problems during the show itself.

I have a couple shorter obs about him, I might post them together soon.

[Watercolor Daydreams]

WOWWWWWWWW what I wouldn't have done to see that!!!!!!! Lucky you!

[Watercolor Daydreams]

I have a couple shorter obs about him, I might post them together soon.

Please do!!!!

[truth]

i can't believe something this amazing actually happens in real life. Ah, gorgeous Henry.

[v a n i l l a]

Puh-leaseeee post the shorter obs as well Also, I don't think anyone would blame you if you "accidentally" showed up to school covered in cat hair and "forgot" that he was allergic and hugged him or something and then observed or anything like that.

[decrescendo]

Also, I don't think anyone would blame you if you "accidentally" showed up to school covered in cat hair and "forgot" that he was allergic and hugged him or something and then observed or anything like that.

While that does sound like a grand idea, and well within my means, I feel like he would probably catch on now that I think about it.

I think the reason he asked me to hook up with him is because I made the mistake (or maybe it wasn't a mistake?) of telling his ex-girlfriend about my predilection for sneezing while they were dating and about how torturous this "incident" was. The idea of me seducing her man apparently appealed to her? And I think she maaaay have told Henry about the fetish, meaning he maaaaaaaay be willing, or even eager to suffer through allergies for me (if, that is, I wasn't already in a relationship).

It's a very odd situation, all things considered.