Leo takes the Hamptons (and cold medication)

[rmackie33]

So for those of you who haven't read my other posts, Leo is 6'3, 24, lean and muscular, (he played college soccer), is identical to young James Franco (people mistake him for Franco regularly). Leo is from London and moved here for college so he has a very dreamy accent .

So for the past two weeks we have been staying at my parents house in the Hamptons because we thought the fresh air would be good for his cold/injuries. So Monday morning we left in my car. I've lived in NYC since I went left California for NYU six years ago and I have driven VERY little since then, but my father got me a gorgeous new 2015 Lambo aventador for my birthday and this was only the second time I'd driven it. So, a brand new car + sexy/sick man next to me = one very distracted me.

Monday:

Barely out of the parking garage, Leo, being a very typical sick man, was complaining about EVERYTHING. "This car is so small why do you pay so much for so little car? Why is New York so loud? This crappy air is killing my nose. I haven't sneezed this much since I was back home in London." he said, making his point with a loud sniff. "What do you mean, why was London so bad?" I said this a little too overly curious, and Leo gave me a skeptical look. "London is not bad, London is the best city in the world. Never let me hear you say that again or I'll have to find myself a new American girlfriend to impress my parents with, shouldn't be too hard this place is crawling with Americans. Its the damn rain. Out of nowhere, bloody rain. Always si.. ih.. hitchuh..ck. See? Even thidkig about it makes be sdeeze." I'm definitely looking forward to going to London with him next month even more now. the rest of the two and a half an hour ride was filled with Leo sneezing at least two times every five minutes and me gripping the wheel so tightly that my knuckles were white. About two hours in to the ride Leo lost the battle of holding in one of his massive fits. "its coming.. I can feel it." I must have given him quite the look because he clarified, "A fit. I can't hold in back anymore. I don't want to sneeze cause I cant cover it well and this car is so heh.. nice..ihh.. I'm sorry R.. itchu! extchu! hngxxt! hitaeshoo! ishh! eshhh!" This went on for about twenty more sneezes with about two seconds in between them . Unable to bless him, I just stared at him in shock. "Geez R, are you feelig alright? You've heard be sdeeze before, why are you gettidg so freaked? At this point maybe id be the better driver eved without by arms." he joked. luckily for the sake of my dignity, he fell asleep for the rest of the ride, and only woke up for a few minutes to be brought inside and then promptly fell asleep again.

Tuesday:

Tuesday morning I was awoken to the very lovely sound of Leo's congested snoring at six am. Lucky me. I called my friend Jaela, who works with Leo. Jaela is the only person who knows about my fetish, so I was able to tell her all about the day before. Since she can work at home, she and her boyfriend M, a greek god of a man headed out to stay with us. By the time Leo came out of the bedroom, Jaela and M had already arrived. Leo walked in to the dining room, where J, M and I were eating breakfast, wearing nothing but athletic shorts and had a wad of partially used tissues in his hand, hovering awkwardly below his pink nose. Jaela and Leo both work for a very popular magazine, J writes celebrity gossip articles and L is a photographer, and they both love to take bad photos of each other to post up around the office. Leo paused mid walk to sneeze and Jaela took a picture of him in the middle of a harsh hur-chuhhh! "Nice Leo! This picture sure is keeper! I'll have to send it to you later R!" Jaela said with a wink, tilting the camera towards me to show the picture. I'm pretty sure I drooled. Leo was had the perfect pre-sneeze face with his abs contracting gloriously. "Shuddup Jae I'b hot as hell and you dow it. Right R? I'm ode sexy piece of ass." Leo was joking, but I sure wasn't when I agreed. Finally making it to the table, Leo's abnormally pale face lit up when he noticed his bowl of oatmeal. "R! You bade be oatbeal!?" "Geez, Leo. You've been in America for years now! its about time you learned English. Damn foreigners." (Jae tends to be even snarkier than me. Guess its fitting when you write gossip articles.) Leo looked up from his bowl of oatmeal and said, "Jaela I ab frob England. English. Englad. It was our ladguage first you dabd runaways. You are frob Cadada anyways. You say aboat, your argument is invalid." Leo's nationalistic rant was interrupted by a rough coughing fit. "Hey love, do you thidk you could make be sobe tea? My throat is killig be." Leo quickly turned away and sneezed a quiet "ishh, eshhuh" into his shoulder.

"Sorry Leo, we don't have any tea. Threw it all in the bay. Thought you brits knew about that, it really pissed ya off, remember?" I joked as I got up to make some. Considering Leo is from England, Jaela Canada, and M (Makarios) is from Greece, and I am from the good ole US of A, we all like to make fun of each other's countries. However, M didn't understand the Boston Tea Party reference and as I heated the water, Leo tried to explain to M between coughs with his congested, scratchy voice as Jae joined my in the kitchen. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, a loud "ITCHU! Hatishh! Ishhh!, followed by a pained groan, interrupted her thought. Since he is so busy complaining about his cold, I tend to forget that his ribs are still cracked but I was quickly reminded. "So.. R... how in heaven are you right now? Don't even try to deny it I can see how you want to jump him every time that poor man so much as sniffs." Not wanting to encourage her to keep going, I kept myself busy preparing the tea. "I should keep taking pictures of Leo sneezing for you to look at when he's not around." The look on my face must have been thrilled because Jaela smirked proudly and headed back to the table where Leo was still explaining the American Revolution, or, as he calls it, "England's runaway kid throws a temper tantrum." Sitting at the table, pale faced with a runny nose and glossy eyes, Leo looked like a little kid. After he drank his tea, Leo got dressed and we all headed to the beach.

Since my car barely fits two comfortably, we took Jae's 67 impala (she bought it after seeing Dean drive it on SPN ) down to the beach. Unfortunately for Leo but very fortunately for me, J had not vacuumed the car since her dog had been in the back seat where M and Leo were sitting, Leo's mild dog allergy bothered his already irritated nose even further. "Hishh! Hngxtchu! heh.. hehh.. excuse.. hehshu! be." Leo said sheepishly. "Sit tight there Leo we are only five minutes away." By the time we had arrived at the beach, another one of Leo's massive fits was threatening to come out. Walking towards the shore, Leo stopped walking and looked up at the sun as if to hurry the fit along. "oh bloody hell not again... haesch, essh, esshh, haessh, tchh, esshh, haesschew! Hgnxt!" Being such a selfless girlfriend, I held up a tissue to his nose with one had and supported his lower back with the other as his body shook with stifle after stifle. M, who has a kind of bromance with Leo, put his hand on his shoulder and repeatedly asked if he was okay, while a few people nearby stared at the very tall, gorgeous man with two casts on his arms who needed his girlfriend to hold a tissue to his face while he sneezed. It must have been quite the scene.

We spent the next few hours lying in the sun while Leo would occasionally sneeze, and a few times at dinner at a restaurant, once while he was ordering his food which I found adorable . After settling in for the night with Jae and M in the guest room, Leo and I proceeded to well... not sleep.. during which he sneezed a few times .. as I was still pretty excited by the day we had... can you blame me?

I was going to try to post all at once but there is way too much to write so I think I will just update this in the replies! Sorry if this was too long or too much commentary, but I was a writing major at NYU so I get into detail, forgive me!

[Rook]

O.O IMPALA A 67 IMPALA FUCK I WANT YOUR LIFE bows and praises LUCKY

[rmackie33]

O.O IMPALA A 67 IMPALA FUCK I WANT YOUR LIFE bows and praises LUCKY

She's a hardcore Supernatural fan and thank you! I am lucky!

[Rook]

O.O IMPALA A 67 IMPALA FUCK I WANT YOUR LIFE bows and praises LUCKY

She's a hardcore Supernatural fan and thank you! I am lucky!

you are so welcome

[happybunny]

.. WHAT IN GODS NAME!!! ..... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!!!!!!!

[rmackie33]

.. WHAT IN GODS NAME!!! ..... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I thinking I'm dreaming when this stuff happens haha

[rmackie33]

Wednesday:

Late morning J, M, Leo and I were having an SNL marathon as last summer my father apparently forgot to stop recording all episodes (including reruns) so we decided to stay in for the day to watch them. Leo and Makarios (we call him Mac except sometimes Jae calls him Mac Daddy haha) were sitting on the couch across the room (the bromance lives). In the middle of one episode, Leo buried his face into a pillow that separated he and Mac on the couch, took in a large breath and broke off into another one of his rapid fire fits. "Hmpfchh! Etchh! Hngstch-ehh!" I hadn't been paying Leo much attention because Stefon was on The Weekend Update and I adore Bill Hader and Seth Meyers so I hadn't noticed any of the usual signs. (He does this cute little thing where he scrunches his face up and flares his nostrils for a few minutes prior) Mid sneeze, Leo picked up his head and gave me the most adorably desperate pre-sneeze face before burying it back in the pillow, breaking off in another long string of half-stifled sneezes into the pillow. Making the whole situation even more adorable, Mac felt the need to bless him after every sneeze, and put his hand on Leo's back in an almost comforting way. I melted. After hearing Mac say "gitses" (greek for bless you) about ten times, Jae said, "Mac, just stop. Wait till he's done, you weirdo. He's just going to keep sneezing anyways, right R?" Jae likes to embarrass me after I drunkenly spilled my fetish to her two years ago. Leo glanced up quickly at her gratefully as he was clearly embarrassed by the attention he was being given. Two minutes later, Leo was still sneezing but nearly silently, I was only certain that he was sneezing by seeing his body shake every ten seconds or so. When he was finally done he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone and only nodded at Mac when he blessed him. Mac sniffed loudly and said "R, do you have a temperature taker (he can never remember the word thermometer) that I can use? I believe Leo got me sick." The thought of two attractive men sick in my house was apparently too much for me and I just stared blankly back at him. J laughed at me and told him that she knew where it was and turned to mouth "mine!" over her shoulder jokingly as she left the room. It took two minutes to take Mac's temperature on a thirty second 'temperature taker' as he kept coughing and sniffing and shifting the thermometer. Satisfied that he had guessed that he had a fever (100.9) Mac quickly fell asleep and breathed heavily and snored loudly (not in an obnoxious way though). Leo was already sleep and snoring softly with the occasional sniff and only woke up once to sneeze five weak "etshh"s, looked at me confused and then proceeded to fall back asleep leaning against Mac.

[truth]

this update kiiillled me

[happybunny]

Yep. Somebody take my panties. They're coming off. Your life is a fucking movie that I want to watch with my own eyes...

Dang girl how do you even compose yourself? That is just too much stimulation! Too much beautiful, beautiful, stimulation... My libido would be offf the chains if I were his girlfriend... sigh...

[AsylumFlower]

Two minutes later, Leo was still sneezing but nearly silently, I was only certain that he was sneezing by seeing his body shake every ten seconds or so. When he was finally done he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone and only nodded at Mac when he blessed him

I am DEAD. Two minutes!?!?!?! Sneezing near-silently out of embarrassment?!?! Poor guy!!!!!

only woke up once to sneeze five weak "etshh"s, looked at me confused and then proceeded to fall back asleep leaning against Mac.

I just melted. wowowowow... if only this could happen to me! that's got to be the sweetest thing imaginable.

Thank you for sharing! Everything in this story had me like :jawdrop:

Just. wow. wowowowowowowowow.

[rmackie33]

Yep. Somebody take my panties. They're coming off. Your life is a fucking movie that I want to watch with my own eyes...

Dang girl how do you even compose yourself? That is just too much stimulation! Too much beautiful, beautiful, stimulation... My libido would be offf the chains if I were his girlfriend... sigh...

your reply cracked me up! I've been with him for two years though so I've had practice with keeping myself look like a giddy idiot but I am not usually that successful...

[AnteatersOnParade]

This can't be real!!! Btw, if you're making it all up, please keep going!!! ;-) But seriously, this is like an amazing fic. It's just... great. *wipes away tears from eyes*

[rmackie33]

This can't be real!!! Btw, if you're making it all up, please keep going!!! ;-) But seriously, this is like an amazing fic. It's just... great. *wipes away tears from eyes*

I couldn't make this up if I tried but thank you! My whole life I've been a perfectionist so I never really settled until I got what I wanted! I'm going to try to update again later but I'm about to get on a plane so I'm not sure yet haha

[rmackie33]

*I promise you all, this is not made up, I just was a writing major in college and it has been drilled into me to spare no details. Everything posted here is completely true. If I could somehow prove this I would, but I've already given names where I live, and I don't wish to completely give away my or my friends identities.*

Thursday:

Leo and I headed back into the city for an appt and after five minutes of complaining about the size of my car "How d'you expehh..ehh..tshh! expect us of norbal size to sit regularly?"(not my fault he's a giant) he fell asleep, leaving me to listen to the sound of his congested snoring( ) for the four hour ride (NYC traffic). Being the sweet girl that I am, I used what was left of my hair gel to stick his hair in different directions. Once in the city, Leo woke up with a soft hit-tishuh! and went to run his hand through his hair when it got covered in gel. Still half asleep, Leo looked at me confused and sniffed his gel covered-hand. "What is this? Hp'chff! Hg'nxt!" What od earth" His usually low-pitched sneezes became higher in tone and relatively girly. "Hp-chew! Kshew! Tishew!" Trying to seem cool I asked, "You feeling okay there, princess?"

"Pridcess? Pridcess? Haetshew! I look like freakig Guy Fieri!"

About an hour later, waiting for the doc, Leo was bitching about how his doctor doesn't like him, which is actually very true, but Leo can be a pain. Once the doctor came in, Leo immediately acted as though he was fine. Throughout the whole appointment, Leo sniffed awkwardly, being too much of a man to blow his nose. I don't understand men. Towards the end of the appointment, the doctor told Leo that he had grown two inches since his last doctors apt in London two years ago. (He doesn't like to go to the doctor's in America because of out health care system.) Leo, over the moon excited, completely forgot about pretending to not be sick and let out two wet sneezes that I cant really spell but sounded something like "hid-ishuh! hishuptchuh!" "So, Dr Shoshany, (great chiropractor but long waits for appointments) you are sayig that gettig hit by a cab made me eved taller? that's brilliad!" and while doctor shoshany tried to tell him that this was not the case, that he was just still growing, but Leo was too excited/up on cold meds to listen.

On the way back to my dad's house, Leo was mumbling about how he was now a full foot taller than me (great.) and said, "Y'dow, R, sidce I'b 6'5 ad all.. hp'tsshh.. Bless you Leo, thadks Leo... you deed a bigger car." A shorter boyfriend would work too. Nothing else posting worthy really occurred for the rest of the day or the day after that.

[rockbell]

Gah I absolutely love your obs! You and Leo are so cute together if you don't mind me saying so. I also think its pretty hilarious that you used your hair gel on him please, please, please keep us posted, your writing is amazing and I want to read more

[happybunny]

Yes keep it up! Love these obs.They're like a wonderful dream!

Edited August 8, 2015 by happybunny

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

These obs are very funny. You have a wicked sense of humor.

[AnteatersOnParade]

Wonderful as usual! And no worries, we believe it's real, it's just almost too good to be true! Ya know? Hehe, of course you know, first-hand! Lucky girl! And thanks for sharing it with all of us!!! <3

[Psyneezy]

Two minutes later, Leo was still sneezing but nearly silently, I was only certain that he was sneezing by seeing his body shake every ten seconds or so. When he was finally done he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone and only nodded at Mac when he blessed him

I'm DEAD. Two minutes!?!?!?! Sneezing near-silently out of embarrassment?!?! Poor guy!!!!!

Yep I can't even believe this is reaL!!!

[rmackie33]

Friday was rather uneventful as Jae, who tends is the entertainer of the group, had to head back to work to discuss the controversy of an article with her editor, and Mac and Leo both slept nearly the entire day, so I drooled over Seth Meyers.

Saturday:
I'm awkward. Being the girl with her boyfriend and her best friend's boyfriend also can be awkward. The Hamptons also can be romantic, increasing previously-stated awkwardness. So, by the time you add in a sneeze fetish (especially when it comes to colds) and aforementioned men being sick, I am barely functioning. Because the world likes to see me squirm, Leo and Mac thought we should go out for breakfast, a super couple-y meal, and our means of transportation is a two seat car.

"Why doesn't Bac drive your car ad you can sit id betweed the two of us?" I wasted no time in telling him that it was a horrible plan. "You dod't trust be? HRUshh.. Excuse be. I cad drive, kontula! Please!" Since I didn't know that kontula means shorty, I let Mac drive the car. Once in the car, Mac started coughing deeply, unintentionally pushing into me with every harsh exhale. "Hey, R, cad you rub my back for a secod?" I was too uncomfortable with the situation to even move, so I just looked at him. Subtle. Leo told me to duck before swinging his heavy cast into the top Mac's back, causing his coughing to intensify only briefly before stopping. "By bethods bay be udcodvedtiodal but they are ihh... hih.. hi'tshew! efficied." Unable to handle myself, I said something along the lines of "Leo you sound ridiculous and Mac stop coughing we are playing the silent game and loser has to buy breakfast. GO." Very mature. So well composed. Since none of us wanted to lose, Mac held back his coughing until he was quite literally red in the face and Leo was trying desperately to hold in a sneeze while holding a wad of tissues to his runny nose as he didn't want to lose over sniffing. After the longest ten minutes in the history of the world, we arrived at breakfast. Being a martyr, I spoke first, but mostly cause I knew they wouldn't let me pay anyways. "Hurushhah! Hp'ishhu! Isshew! Doesn't it feel good to sdeeze once you've had to for so log? So satisfyig." Agreed. Very satisfying.

Once in the restaurant, Mac and Leo insisted on sitting next to each other in the booth. (I swear the third wheel). While ordering breakfast, a confused look came over Mac's face. "Cad I please hah... ehh... have huh.. an hih... omelehhtchuh. Omelet. Excuse be." Leo seemed impressed. "Bless you, man! High five for dedication to finishing your order." Our waitress seemed disgusted as Leo high-fived the hand that Mac had just sneezed into. Leo shocked us all in ordering chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries (he always orders the most boring item on the menu) and I half yelled out "you want what??", pissing off our waitress even further. Leo started laughing at my childish outburst which quickly turned into a hacking cough. The moment I had ordered the waitress left wordlessly. Roughly half way through our meal, a cute elderly couple came in and sat down in the booth next to us, the old woman being back to back with Leo and Mac. I don't know why old ladies wear so much perfume, maybe you lose your sense smell with age, but this lady must have marinated in it this morning. Leo shot me an exasperated look before burying his face in his handkerchief. (yes, he carries a handkerchief. I tell him its too formal but he doesn't listen.) "heh'chew! hp'shuhh! Well that was rather, um, bessy?" he said as he looked up at me through his wet eyelashes and I just about died.

Back at the house, Leo decided that he wanted to see if it was possible to sneeze with your eyes open. Why he cares, I have no clue. "Hey doll, cad you sit id front of be and hold my eyes oped for me while I sneeze?" Fetish or no fetish, that was a weird question. "You realize you've reached a whole new level of weird, yes? You'd just sneeze all over me and I'm not feeling that." Okay okay, that may have been the furthest thing from the truth possible but I don't think sitting on my boyfriend's lap while he sneezed would have helped me hide the fetish any. I mean, we've been together for two years and I have no plans of telling him any time soon (I just find it sexier with him not knowing) so losing my cool in front of him and Mac would be the worst possible scenario. I agreed to at least video tape it for him so he could see if he kept his eyes open. Well, roughly seven wet sneezes later, (I'm not that great at spelling them but it was something like, "hid'ishew!") Leo finally stopped being an idiot. His eyes were watering like crazy and his nose was bright pink. "Well that was embarrassing. Ad tragic. Embarrassigly tragic." Mac, who had been sitting across the room, gave Leo the strangest look and said, "Blesses bud, but what od earth did I just watch?" Summed it up about right. "Bug off Bac you're just mad cause you ahh... are sh.. huh.. hp'sshEW! Short." (He's only 5'10). "Dude you are Eglish you are *sniffs loudly* s'posed to be short!" The two ended up agreeing that I am especially short and both ended up falling asleep in the living room. Great for me, I actually got my half of the bed that night for once.

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Goodness, are you sure Leo doesn't know? Because he seems to be teasing you mercilessly.

[rmackie33]

Goodness, are you sure Leo doesn't know? Because he seems to be teasing you mercilessly.

He's rather oblivious, but Im sure he's a bit suspicious at this point haha

[rockbell]

that was just... amazing.... wow, you are one lucky lucky girl

[happybunny]

This is my face when I read your updates.

http://tinypic.com/m/ivb876/3

Edited August 11, 2015 by happybunny

[LapidotLover22]

I just love this thread

Also, 5'10 is considered short??? What does that make my family, in which not a single person related by blood on either side is taller than 5'5 (I myself am 5'2, and I won't be getting any taller)?