Frustration: Female VS Male Sneezes

[JohnSprinter]

Is it just me or does it seem that men sneeze a lot more than women? Men's sneeze really gross me out and I feel it's unfair that I see countless men sneeze but I very very rarely see anything from a woman, like I'm being punished or something. Not only that but I like wet and messy full force sneezes and nearly every man's seems to be like that (which really freaks me out) however when I do occasionally get the opportunity to see a woman sneeze she either stifles it or it's really dry. . Anyone else feeling this?

[Garnet]

I think your strong feelings on the matter are probably making you tunnel vision and cherry pick. The kind of company you surround yourself likely has some bearing as well. I.e. I work in a field that's 85% women, so most of the obs I encounter are female.

Female sneezing rarely does anything for me, it's maybe a one in ten shot, but it doesn't squick me out at all, either. I've always found it strange how strongly some people react to their non-preferred gender sneezing (incidentally, it's mostly straight men I've seen do this, but I've certainly seen a straight woman or too pull the big old proverbial EWWWW face as well). Maybe it's because I'm pansexual outside of the fetish, but like... they can't help it, and they're not doing it to please or gross you out, so mind your business?

YMMV!

[bloom]

I think your strong feelings on the matter are probably making you tunnel vision and cherry pick. The kind of company you surround yourself likely has some bearing as well. I.e. I work in a field that's 85% women, so most of the obs I encounter are female.

Bingo. This is a great example of confirmation bias. All genders must sneeze roughly equally but when something elicits a strong negative reaction like this, one is bound to notice it more.

Luckily on the internet there is never a dearth of female material.

[March Hare]

Do any other completely random circumstances affect you personally in this way? Nothing like that ever really happens in order to either punish or reward you or anyone else specifically, you know.

[Bondi]

To be fair, at least 95% of the people here have strong feelings of disgust when it comes to family members sneezing (and yes, I am within that category), but family members can't help it either and aren't doing it to please or gross anyone out.

[Garnet]

I place family in a different category to random strangers on the street. It's a whole different set of parameters concerning incest rather than... I dunno, gender preference? One of which is more disgusting to me than the other. But hey

[JohnSprinter]

To be honest I wouldn't even put it down to me being around more men. Overall more sneezes will being male. However If I am out in a public place with a relatively equal amount of each gender I would say I see about 6 male sneezes to every 1 female sneeze. I would either put it down to being really unlucky, girls try to make them go away whereas males go with it or God just really doesn't want me getting aroused. I am not moaning though, just an observation really.

[LapidotLover22]

To be honest I wouldn't even put it down to me being around more men. Overall more sneezes will being male. However If I am out in a public place with a relatively equal amount of each gender I would say I see about 6 male sneezes to every 1 female sneeze. I would either put it down to being really unlucky, girls try to make them go away whereas males go with it or God just really doesn't want me getting aroused. I am not moaning though, just an observation really.

I'd sort of go with the second guess, but it's not quite like that. I speak from experience. Girls probably do try to stop the sneeze (not me, since I love sneezing) more than guys, because it's expected for guys to not care about that sort of thing where as girls don't want to seem gross. But I think it's really that girls are more likely to simply hide and stifle their sneezes so no one notices.

I'm pretty sure if my classmates were to think about it (and why would they, anyway?), they'd believe I almost never sneezed, but I usually sneeze at least a few times a day. Today, for example, was a particularly sneezy day for me. I must have sneezed at least seven times throughout the day, but no one noticed a single one because I have mastered covert stifling.

So, I think there are plenty of girl sneezes occurring all around you, but you won't notice them unless you encounter the rare girl who either doesn't care any more than most guys do, or they just can't stifle them very well, if at all.

......Probably doesn't make you feel better, but that's just my two cents on the matter.

As for opposite gender sneezing, I'm bi, but prefer men, so I don't have much empathy for you, but plenty of sympathy.

Edited September 2, 2015 by SoulSong22

[gryffin]

I think your strong feelings on the matter are probably making you tunnel vision and cherry pick.

This is a great example of confirmation bias. All genders must sneeze roughly equally but when something elicits a strong negative reaction like this, one is bound to notice it more.

I think this is it. I only like male sneezes, and guess what? I always have the impression that women sneeze all the time, unlike men. Or, if it's true that the proportion around you is 6 male sneezes to every female sneezes, I want to know where you live

Edited September 2, 2015 by gryffin

[Icarus Rex]

Yeah, I'd chalk this one up to apophenia.

Although, as Junia pointed out, there's quite a lot of female material online, so surely your God doesn't hate you that much.

[wonderfulllife2013]

I think our access to sneezing fetish material (vids, stories, etc) can make us very picky in our preferences and make our expectations too high. As far as male v females, I have been around lots of great female sneezers before (horribly distracting!) and then there are times when I seem to be around more male sneezers. It's pure luck.

You might try to explore why male sneezing bothers you so much. I'm not turned on by male sneezing but I can appreciate a good sneeze on its own merits. I think it makes the fetish more enjoyable, and with less stress.

[TwinklingStars053]

Well I think there can be a few variables to that. As others have mentioned, the biggest difference is which gender you surround yourself with the most.

Then there's also the chance that most girls will try to quietly stifle or make the sneeze go away so they don't look "gross" in public. Since usually men are raised to not care about grossness, they're more likely to let their sneezes out anywhere. Trust me, women can sneeze just as powerful as men.

[Mr. Black Cherry Berry Tea]

Yeah, I'd chalk this one up to apophenia.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Also the (male) cultural preference for wrapping up feelings in imaginary facts. Friend Sprinter, you're sad because you want to see more women sneeze and less men sneeze. I can feel that. I want to hear more people shout their sneezes to the heavens and less people stifle. This makes me sad sometimes. But to attribute that feeling to something real in my environment (i.e., Americans sneeze more quietly than Canadians or something!), is just pathetic fallacy (rimshot).

(Sorry I'm being mad snarky today. Just came off of a facebook social justice crusade and my blood is hot.)

[BananaTree]

You should try to appreciate sneezing in all forms.

except family. bleh

Edited September 4, 2015 by BananaTree

[wrazmon]

For many of us this is one of, if not the only place to vent these sorts of feelings. Even people with the most rational of minds may feel a type of universal punishment is being levied against them at times. That's the nature of feelings; they come unbidden and we can't help them. The nature of this fetish can make for some frustrating scenarios at times and those of us who understand that have it within ourselves to express that understanding and provide some support. Chin up, Sprinter. There will most certainly be moments in your future that will remind you why this fetish is so great.

[March Hare]

First you suppose you're being punished, then you guess that God doesn't want you to be aroused? Yeah, mate, you are moaning about it.

Not a problem, by the way. Many of us can relate. Just know that there is nothing personal or deliberate about it.

[ALSF]

I feel your frustration. Just saw (actually heard cuz I looked away) a guy sneeze like 10 times in a row. If that was a girl I'd be dying. But instead I'm just left with an uncomfortable feeling. Although I'd still say in general girls sneeze about the same as guys, maybe more. I'm just annoyed because I never seem to get to see a real sneezing fit from a girl, almost ever.

[Garnet]

For many of us this is one of, if not the only place to vent these sorts of feelings. Even people with the most rational of minds may feel a type of universal punishment is being levied against them at times. That's the nature of feelings; they come unbidden and we can't help them. The nature of this fetish can make for some frustrating scenarios at times and those of us who understand that have it within ourselves to express that understanding and provide some support. Chin up, Sprinter. There will most certainly be moments in your future that will remind you why this fetish is so great.

A person isn't given carte blanche just because they have sexual feelings towards another person. Even if we relate to the plight, not everyone who shares the fetish is required to effuse all the sympathy and understanding in the world. In fact, I think it somewhat unhealthy to harbor angry or frustrated feelings to the extent that you think (even jokingly) God is punishing you for not getting off.

Rather, I suspect it's more helpful to outline these expectations in reality. Would it be great if our ideal fantasies in our preferred gender sneezed all the time? Yeah, of course! But that's not the way the world works, and so.

Best of luck in the future with your interests!

[David]

You must be really unlucky...maybe it's the bias the other way but I find I notice a lot more female sneezing (well, in multiple amounts anyway), and that's perfectly fine by me

[wrazmon]

For many of us this is one of, if not the only place to vent these sorts of feelings. Even people with the most rational of minds may feel a type of universal punishment is being levied against them at times. That's the nature of feelings; they come unbidden and we can't help them. The nature of this fetish can make for some frustrating scenarios at times and those of us who understand that have it within ourselves to express that understanding and provide some support. Chin up, Sprinter. There will most certainly be moments in your future that will remind you why this fetish is so great.

A person isn't given carte blanche just because they have sexual feelings towards another person. Even if we relate to the plight, not everyone who shares the fetish is required to effuse all the sympathy and understanding in the world. In fact, I think it somewhat unhealthy to harbor angry or frustrated feelings to the extent that you think (even jokingly) God is punishing you for not getting off.

Rather, I suspect it's more helpful to outline these expectations in reality. Would it be great if our ideal fantasies in our preferred gender sneezed all the time? Yeah, of course! But that's not the way the world works, and so.

Best of luck in the future with your interests!

Sprinter isn't harboring any angry or frustrated feelings, he's expressing them. Here. Among a group of people who ostensibly have a better understanding of them than anywhere else one might look. Speaking strictly on my own behalf now, I am certain that if ever I am made to feel that expressing the feelings I naturally have will only be met with criticism I will undoubtedly opt to harbor them in future. I certainly wish I could feel equally positive about sneezing across all genders but I wasn't so fortunate, so in this regard I can relate.

[Garnet]

Do you think that phrases like "I feel it's unfair that I see countless men sneeze" and "God just really doesn't want me getting aroused" are reasonable conclusions to make, though? Venting doesn't necessarily equal rationale, and while I can't speak for everyone, we're more a community with shared interests than a support group.

If that means you're now hypothetically intimidated from sharing opinions such as "boohoo only girls should sneeze and men are gross", I'm probably not going to miss them.

Edited September 6, 2015 by Garnet

[bloom]

Do you think that phrases like "I feel it's unfair that I see countless men sneeze" and "God just really doesn't want me getting aroused" are reasonable conclusions to make, though? Venting doesn't necessarily equal rationale, and while I can't speak for everyone, we're more a community with shared interests than a support group.

I'm with Garnet. I feel like it's completely reasonable to say to someone "Hey, the feelings you're having about this aren't really rational, maybe try examining it from some other angle," when the feelings are ones like those detailed in the original post. Sometimes, when it's an extremely minor issue like this, being told that it's really not that big of a deal and being given perspective is what somebody needs to snap them out of feeling sorry for themselves. I know I've thrown myself a pity party over things that were largely inconsequential until someone told me "Dude, you are overreacting to something really dumb."

Speaking strictly on my own behalf now, I am certain that if ever I am made to feel that expressing the feelings I naturally have will only be met with criticism I will undoubtedly opt to harbor them in future.

I feel there is a large difference between expressing something like "only men seem to sneeze and I feel victimized by it" and expressing something like, say, "I feel ill at ease with my fetish and I wish I could be more comfortable with it." One is usually going to be met with the kind of responses this thread got and one is going to typically be met with understanding and advice.

[Mr. Black Cherry Berry Tea]

Yo wrazmon, I 100% get you in terms of: you would think that of all places, the sneeze fetish forum would be a warm receptive place to vent your feelings about sneezing. I do feel a little bad about that. Don't want to create a chill, as they say, in that regard. That said, I do think the community does a good job of demonstrating openness to a lot of feelings, sneezing-related and otherwise, and I think that's pretty clear from 90% of other topics on the forum. But I suspect that the reaction to this particular expression was not wholly warm and fuzzy because of the specific thing expressed/how he expressed it.

More than the overreaction to the circumstances, frankly, it's the very particular sort of male entitlement expressed here that I think people are responding less-than-warmly to. It's kinda the same as when (straight) guys complain "ugh there's no hot girls at this party/in this area/in my vicinity/on my lap." And I say that as a guy who's into girls (among other genders) and has had that feeling in life. But that has beneath it a certain feeling of being owed, a certain feeling that women are responsible for doing things/appearing in ways that are appealing to men. And so the feeling Sprinter expressed, I think, is a bit of a sneezing analogue to that, a bit of a repeat of feeling entitled to or owed that which we find appealing. Really that's what people are reacting to, and I think that reaction is as genuine and as welcome a feeling as the feeling of frustration at not seeing the kinds of sneezing we prefer. (And it's a reaction that's actually especially close to the surface here on the sneeze fetish forum, where many of our members---particularly female members---are sometimes pestered by sharks who, again, feel entitled to being turned on by women.)

[/gender studies analysis]

[wrazmon]

Perhaps I should establish that I'm not too thrilled with the language Sprinter has used to express these feelings either. I'm actually not sure how much hyperbole is at play here and how much to take literally (a typical pitfall of this type of interaction). I've chosen to respond to and follow this thread because I identify with some things in it and want to offer another perspective. Venting indeed does not equal rationale. Encouragement towards finding a more rational and productive approach to these types of feelings is my interest and I submit to everyone once again that this is a safe place to do just that.

Tangentially I would like for everyone to know that I think this is a really good conversation. I've trolled this forum for years and haven't really participated much but not for lack of interest in any of the deeper topics. I'm glad to be a part of this one.

[wrazmon]

Wait... trolled is completely the wrong word, isn't it?