"Allergies Look Great on a Resume"

[GhostLily342]

Hello all!

Here's a little oneshot story that I typed out on my phone the other day. It was at least partially inspired by my own allergic misery of late. I hope you like it!

Danielle checked her phone again just to see if her friend had texted back yet. Their senior year of college had finally arrived; Danielle was taking her last few classes while preparing for a practicum at the county courthouse, and Haley had just started an internship with the city newspaper. Their recent successes, and the fact that graduation was finally imminent meant that a few celebratory drinks were in order.

Just as Danielle started to call Haley to find out what was keeping her, she spotted her walking briskly toward her down the sidewalk.

Danielle instantly noticed that Haley was wearing her glasses, and she knew what that likely meant: Haley had always suffered from allergies in the fall, which made wearing contacts an impossibility for her. As Haley drew nearer, Danielle did see her smiling, but also saw the characteristic pinkish hue around her nostrils.

"Hey Dan!"

"Hey Hal!"

Danielle brought Haley in for a hug, and from her shoulder heard her take in a wheezy breath.

"Sorry I'mb so late--"

"Oh, you're fine. You not feeling the best?"

"Yeah, mby allergies are killig me...huh, mbe right n-n-now...HEHSHEW!"

Haley pulled the remnants of a tissue from her purse just in time to catch the sudden sneeze and the clear runniness that followed it.

"Bless you kiddo!"

"Ugh, thanks, but don't bother blessing mbe every time. I've been sneezy all afterndoon."

"Aw, well, you wanna do this another time when you're feeling more up to it?"

"Nah, are you kiddig? I've been looking forward to this all week. It's just snot; nothing I can't handle. Besides, this m-uhh, huhhh...HHEHSHEEW! Ugh..."

Haley sneezed again into the tissue in her hand. She blew her nose softly, then returned the spent tissue to her purse.

"Well, what I mbeant was maybe snot will keep all the udderclass douchebags from trying to pick up on us tonight! Come on, let's do this!"

They had decided to meet on a Wednesday night so that their favorite bar would not be too crowded. Surely enough, the atmosphere was perfect: a few people were playing pool in one corner, the bartenders were chit-chatting about post-season baseball, and only two or three tables were occupied.

Danielle and Haley ordered their drinks at the bar, then took them back to a table and sat down. Danielle was half surprised and amused that she didn't have to translate "mojito" to the bartender for Haley, since her stuffy voice naturally made some consonants unintelligible.

After they say down, Haley was the first to ask about plans for the semester.

"Okay, so tell mbe about this practicum you're in. Are you godda be clerking for the judge, or helping out the lawyers?"

"Eh, probably nothing that important. I may just be fetching coffee for everyone, but my advisor said it would look good on law school applications, so who gives a shit, right? What about your internship at the paper?"

"Oh yeah! So, it's really just a...hey, hey! I can breathe again! I think the mint in this thing cleared me out a bit! See? I knew cocktails were good for you! *snff* Anyway, I should get some good time in working under the staff writers,*snff*, and maybe..."

Although the stuffiness in Haley's voice had subsided, Danielle did notice that her sniffling was becoming more frequent. The mint may have opened her breathing up a bit, but it also must've loosened some sinus congestion with it. It wasn't long before sniffling no longer sufficed, as Haley placed her fingers under her nose and groaned.

"Ugh, Jesus, that's gross. You don't mind if I blow my nose at the table do you?"

"Oh please, I've seen you when your allergies are way worse than this plenty of times."

Haley then retrieved a pack of travel tissues from her purse. She pulled two tissues from the pack, and set one aside. With the first, she blew her nose until she was satisfied that it was clear. Then, with the other tissue she wiped off her glasses lenses. Placing both tissues back in her purse, she said, "Hey, what'd I tell you? No douchebags have bothered us yet!"

As the next hour or so wore on, Danielle and Haley sipped cocktails and chatted about their plans for the semester. They eagerly talked about graduation, and about potential Spring Break destinations. Haley stopped to blow her nose a few more times, but Danielle didn't mind. Rather, she was getting concerned about the fact that her friend might have to drive all the way across town to her apartment with both her allergies and the alcohol clouding her head.

As the clock neared 11:30, Haley ordered shots for them both before closing out the tabs. Leaving their tips under their coasters, Danielle and Haley shuffled outside. Danielle was still worried about Haley, though; both of them were a bit tipsy, but Haley in particular seemed to be getting drowsy.

"This was so fun! *snff* I needed this more than you know."

"Me too Hal. Are you sure you're okay to drive?"

"Yeah, I'll be f-hhhhuh! Ohhhh..."

A sudden upturn in the fall breeze must have rocketed all manner of ragweed and mold into Haley's nose, because her face immediately contorted with the mounting urge to sneeze.

"Hal, you okay?"

"Uhhhh, oh God, heeuh, Danny, I-I h-need to...hhhhhh.... snnn-sneeze so bad...uhhh, huhhhESHEW! HhhuhEESHEW!! HHUHEHSHEW! HEESHEEW!!"

Sneeze after desperate sneeze erupted from Haley's petite frame, which was by now doubled over at the waist. Danielle could only watch with anxiety and pity as her friend was bombarded by windswept allergens.

When it finally seemed as though Haley's sneezing might stop for a moment, she remained bent over, facing the sidewalk, and gasped for air. The concrete in front of her was speckled with moisture, and several strings of clear mucus hung from her upper lip. Tears cascaded down her cheeks and crept onto her glasses, which had slid down to the tip of her streaming nose.

When Danielle came to her senses, she wasn't sure how best to help her friend first. She gently led a gasping Haley over to a bench. Haley slumped down, her face and glasses still a mess.

"Uhhhhgh...oh, Danny, I'b so sorry," she wheezed quietly.

"It's...it's okay sweetie, just breathe now. Here, let me take these..."

Danielle gingerly removed Haley's glasses, and placed them in her own purse. She then reached into Haley's purse for some tissues. Finding the travel pack Haley had been using earlier, Danielle pulled out several tissues and wiped Haley's lips and chin.

"Danny, I-I don't feel good..."

"I know sweetie, I know...here, blow."

Danielle folded the tissues, draped them over Haley's nose, and instructed her to blow. Haley complied. Danielle held fast as warm, watery liquid filled the tissues. Folding them yet again, Danielle wiped Haley's nose, then dabbed at the tears on her cheeks. On any other occasion, Danielle might've been grossed out by all of this, but instead, she felt a certain protectiveness and tenderness for her pollen beset friend.

Haley, meanwhile sniffled and uttered half-sobs. She seemed to be rendered almost delirious by the sudden sneezing fit, the drinks, and the sheer exhaustion from combating her nose all day.

"Danny, I wanna go hombe ndow, please..."

"Well, you're absolutely not driving like this, and there's no need to waste twenty bucks on a cab. I say you stay at my place tonight. It's just a few blocks away."

"Ohh, umm, oh-okay."

"Thatta girl!"

Danielle plucked the remaining two tissues from the travel pack and placed them in Haley's hand.

"Here Hal, hold on to these in case you need to sneeze again, okay? Now, just hold on to me..."

Danielle then placed her arm under Haley's and hoisted her up. Their arms remained linked as they began shuffling down the sidewalk toward Danielle's apartment.

As they made their way along, Haley sniffled and wiped her nose in between wheezing hushed apologies to her friend. She did have to stop twice to let a few isolated sneezes course through her body, but both of them were at least glad that another full-fledged fit had not overtaken her like before.

It was some fifteen minutes before Danielle almost had to carry her friend up the stairs of her apartment building. Once they were inside, Danielle gently laid Haley down on the couch. Haley continued to whisper apologies as she settled in.

"I'm-I'm really sorry Danny, I mean it..."

"Stop apologizing already; you can't help it. Now just sit tight here."

Danielle hurried to the bathroom and retreived a pink Benadryl tablet from one of the drawers. She filled up a glass in the sink, then brought both back to the couch.

"Here Hal, I need you to take this medicine for me, okay?" Sleepily, Haley agreed.

"Mmm...okay."

"Good. Now keep drinking that water--it'll keep you from getting a hangover. I'll be right back."

Danielle returned to the bathroom and grabbed the box of tissues off of the counter. She heard Haley sneeze wearily as she gathered a blanket from the hall closet.

Returning to find Haley sitting up on the couch wiping her nose with the heel of her hand, Danielle placed the box of tissues on the coffee table in front of her. Haley plucked a tissue from the box and blew her nose yet again, while Danielle covered her with the blanket.

Nearly comatose by this point, Haley slumped over and rested her head on a throw pillow. Satisfied that her friend would at least be comfortable until morning, Danielle quietly began making her way to the bedroom.

"Danny?"

"Yeah Hal?"

"I'm sorry I'm gross and lame."

"You're not gross, but I'm not sure about the lame part."

"Mmmkay, g'night..."

A contented smile crept across Danielle's face as she switched off the light.

[AsylumFlower]

Awww, this is wonderful.

I love the way Danielle takes care of her.

"You're not gross, but I'm not sure about the lame part."

Aww.

*melts*

[Timberlane]

That was really a sweet well written story. Kepp it up!

[Chanel_no5]

That was a lovely story! And I most definitely agree with the title...

[NoV]

Sneeze after desperate sneeze erupted from Haley's petite frame, which was by now doubled over at the waist. Danielle could only watch with anxiety and pity as her friend was bombarded by windswept allergens.

Great paragraph You really manage to capture the violence of an allergic fit, and its for these type of descriptions that I read sneezefics

[Sneezypanda]

This is perfect ! Yess. Funny though , since my name is Haley spelled exactly like that lol. I love the bit where she's wiping her nose up for her . And the part about the half sobs, so sweet. You should definitely continue x)