Falling for someone with the fetish

[snzguy]

Do you think learning someone who you were not originally attracted to has the fetish can make you start being attracted to them? You would have much better sexual experiences in theory, and that fact that the fetish appears to be very rare might make it so that you would want to be with that person.

[March Hare]

If someone I was acquainted with did have the fetish, I'd really like to know, because it's a great thing to share... but it wouldn't heighten that person's attractiveness for me in and of itself. I happen to be very glad that my partner doesn't have the fetish, so that it is my thing in the relationship, that he indulges me with and I don't have to reciprocate (or, at least, that I get to reciprocate with some different kind of indulgence altogether). I don't think I would ever fall for someone just because he/she has the same fetish as I do, although it might make a good basis for a friendship, but even then we'd have to find more common ground for that to work.

[PuddinPop]

What Maru said is basically spot on. It could never be the foundation of any kind of friendship/relationship for me. It might mean that we have something to talk about if we shared no other common ground then it would get very boring very quickly.

I think it's the same as being more attracted to someone because of their sneeze. Like, I could find their sneeze more attractive but it would never be a basis to form a relationship. I cannot find someone attractive based on their sneeze alone, there has to be emotional connections too. The same goes for them having the fetish.

I also wouldn't like my partner to have the fetish. It's a nice thing for me to enjoy by myself and I'm so damn awkward when it comes to intimacy anyway, I don't think it's something I could even indulge in.

[Nola]

I also agree with what Maru and Puds said, but I think I'd take it even further to say that, in a way, it would be a turn off for me. Mostly because I don't plan on telling anyone I'm dating that I have the fetish.

[SleepingPhlox]

You know...I actually think I would hate that. I am in a long term relationship, we share a lot, but I have actively discouraged him from getting too involved in my favourite hobbies because I need to keep some stuff "just mine". Its the stuff that is most personal to me that I don't want to share. And the fetish is kinda like that too. Its too much a part of me to share...dunno if that's emotionally healthy but thats how it goes.

Now don't get me wrong, he knows about it and we use it so its not like I don't want to share in that way.

If that makes sense. It's late and I have trouble ordering thoughts concisely when I'm awake!

[Arty]

It's like I how I am with looks. You do not have to look like a model to date me. Hell I'm not really high maintenance either. You don't have to be rich or famous...you don't even have to have the fetish. I mean if you do that's great and I still love you. I won't judge you as I hope the guy I date won't judge me.

[TwinklingStars053]

If I found out that someone I wasn't originally attracted to had the fetish, I would most likely just make their acquaintance (well that's if I like them as a person too). We would have to have MUCH more in common in order for me to date them, or even be actual friends with them. Having the same fetish is really more like a bonus to be honest.

[TheMaster]

I don't think that finding out someone else had the fetish would make me more interested in being friends/ forming a relationship. In fact I think it might make me less comfortable especially if I found out early. If I had already been in a long term relationship with the person and they told me I don't think it would change much. But I think that's at least personally this is much more something that is much more of a turn on in fictional situations/ fantasies then it is in real life. If it wasn't someone I was already dating I think it would make it a little weird to know but I'd say the same thing if I found out they had any other fetish, so that's just me.

[zneeze]

Do you think learning someone who you were not originally attracted to has the fetish can make you start being attracted to them? You would have much better sexual experiences in theory, and that fact that the fetish appears to be very rare might make it so that you would want to be with that person.

Maybe finding out someone I already was acquainted with shared the fetish would make me comfortable speaking to them about it - maybe - but if it were a woman I would not necessarily find them more attractive than previously. Maybe "acquaintance" could be boosted to "friend," but as some others have said, I would want more than just the shared fetish to base a friendship on.

[MaiMai]

Like others have said, I don't think finding out someone has the fetish would make me any more attracted to them. I would be more attracted/not based on who they are as a person, rather than any sexual preferences.

I think the idea of the fetish being the grounds of a relationship platonically is interesting, because presumably if it worked that way, everyone on this forum would be best friends purely because we have the fetish in common. But in reality, we all have people we're more/less friendly with. And for me at least, my friendships with people on here have very little to do with the fetish itself - it's just how we happened to have met, and I often know the person outside of the context of the forum. Whilst it's something that can initially bring people together, I don't think it's something that a friendship or other relationship could realistically be solely built on.

That probably made zero sense. But those are my thoughts, anyway!