Trust - Secret Santa for Pollen Girl

[PetalsAndThorns]

Hi @Pollen Girl! I am sorry this is coming out a little late. Thank you for bearing with me. Your original fiction prompt got me thinking, and this popped out the other side. There is more to come, but I wanted to make sure I got something up! I hope that you enjoyed your holidays!

Also, I just grabbed the first names to my mind that fit when I started writing, and I accidentally grabbed two names that are a bit similar. I had planned on changing them once I'd gotten the writing out, but by then the names had stuck. ^^;;  

Trust

The air outside West Lake High was crisp with frost, frozen water droplets adorning the school’s safety railing. Jaime sat at the base of the stair and watched her breath cloud. School had let out some forty-five minutes ago. The regular throng of chattering students who normally adorned the steps and the yard out front of the school had mostly gone to hole up in coffee shops or remained inside to wait for whatever rides they were getting. Jaime appreciated the quiet and she didn’t mind the cold, or the first few snowflakes that were beginning to settle on her backpack and jacket.

She recognized his car the moment she spotted it coming down the street. Her hopes were confirmed when it turned into the school parking lot. The sound of frost crackled beneath its wheels as it rolled to a stop in front of the stairs and the engine rattled to a stop. Jaime pushed herself off the steps as the door opened.

Jeremy looked like he always had. Puberty had elongated his limbs without paying much attention to proportion, leaving him gangly, and nearly four months at college didn’t seem to have changed much. He ran a hand through his chestnut hair, pushing it out of his eyes and startling the few flakes that had settled there out of their residence. Jaime tried not to smile too stupidly as he slammed his door shut and came around the car to meet her.

“Hey loser, you’re late.”

Jeremy snorted. “Shut up and hug me.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Jaime said as she leaned in to embrace him, breathing in the familiar dried leather scent of his jacket and the warmth of his shoulders through the fabric. Her arms easily encompassed his torso. “You know, when people talk about freshmen fifteen, you’re supposed to gain it.”

Jeremy only gave a slight “heh” of acknowledgement. Just as Jaime began to relax into his embrace, he lightly squeezed her shoulders and released her rather abruptly. “We should get going.” He said, ducking away back toward the driver’s side. Jaime was left a little stunned. A flush of embarrassed shame prickling in her chest. She hadn’t actually meant anything by the comment. It was supposed to have been friendly. By the time her mind woke up and nudged her to apologize he was halfway back in his car and the moment had passed. So Jaime just grabbed her backpack from the ground and slid into the car beside him. They buckled their seatbelts in silence, and a moment later they were wheeling out of the parking lot and onto the main street toward the highway.

“Wanna listen to something?” Jeremy asked.

“Sure.”

Jaime had been looking forward to talking to Jeremy, but at this point she’d take anything to coat the silence in something more amiable. So they plugged her phone into the car, Jeremy’s was engaged as the GPS, and played a Queen album.

“How’s med school?” Jaime asked after they’d gotten out of the twisty turns of their hometown onto a more straightforward road.

“Like high school. Just more people and the teachers don’t have to pretend as hard not to be drunk.”

“Did you get into that student theatre group?”

“Never really found the time.”

“Suck.”

“It is what it is.”

“Yeah.”

“How’s school for you?”

Jaime shrugged. “Same old same old.”

And with that, the silence returned. Jaime turned her head to stare out the window, watching the snowflakes begin to fatten. She could feel all of the barely contained excitement that had been bubbling in her chest since Monday seeping away into the heavy silence. Her mind cast about for a topic to keep the conversation going. She considered asking Jeremy if he’d managed to make new friends at college. But she abruptly wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

The sides of her backpack pressed against her legs as they went over a pothole. It felt stupidly thick to her now. A toothbrush, shampoo, a book, and three days worth of clothing. When had she gotten the impression he actually wanted her to visit for three days? Had it been her idea, or his? She couldn’t remember anymore. They’d formulated it three months ago, before Jeremy had packed his life into the back seat of his Camry and vanished to the world of higher education. It had been their agreement, so that no matter how busy they each got during the semester, they’d catch up on all the lost time after finals, before the holidays hit. And somehow, she hadn’t thought to check with him to make sure he still wanted wanted to do it.

She’d just assumed…

They’d hit the highway now, the only landmarks to show the passing space was an expanse of trees, the company of the other cars, and the guardrail. Jaime was just beginning to drift away into the comfort of her imagination, when she heard a gasp beside her. For a breath stealing moment, she thought they were about to crash. She whirled her attention back to the windshield. The closest car was a good twenty feet away. Relieved but confused, her eyes turned to Jeremy to see what had gone wrong.

He was biting his lip, his eyes fighting to stay open as his nostrils flared. Jaime realized almost immediately what was about to happen. She felt a flush run through her body from head to toe just as Jeremy’s eyes snapped shut. He buried his nose in the folds of his gloved hand, and jerked with a quick fit of three, neatly stifled sneezes.

“Chhnn…Unh-chunnx! …h-chunx!”

Between each sneeze his eyes fought to stay open and focused on the road before they inevitably fluttered shut. He finished with a small sniff, clearing his throat and giving his nose a quick once over with his knuckle. Jaime realized the moment he finished that she was staring, and turned her attention back out her own window, terrified that he’d notice her flush.

That had also been three months ago. The day she’d told him… So much had happened three months ago. So much that felt like an entirely different world now. She bit her lip to keep her whirling emotions in check. Why had she told him? Why had she ever thought that was a good idea?

Because she’d trusted him.

Because she’d trusted him more than she’d ever trusted anyone else.

Because she’d been feeling confident.

Because she’d thought he’d like her no matter what she told him.

At the time, she’d thought he had.

She’d thought so many things back then.

 

 

 

It had been a dark rainy day, the two of them tucked up in her room with cocoa and video games. At some point, the games had gotten boring, as they always did, and the two of them had fallen into talking as they watched the rain come down through the small window across from her bed.

He’d gotten himself soaked by a passing car on the way back to her house, and so she’d lent him an oversized kitten patterned T-shirts she occasionally wore to sleep, and a pair of massively oversized baby blue sweat pants she’d gotten for a Jasmine costume a few Halloweens ago. The clothes were the best fit she had for him, and he’d embraced the impromptu look with all the dorky confidence of a bookworm theatre nerd.

Somehow, the conversation had turned to sexuality. How everyone assumed you were gay the moment you set foot in a theatre. How that was often just a result of gender expression and sexuality getting lumped together as if they were the same thing. How difficult it was for people to explore themselves in a safe environment, and how shame left so many people terrified of their own bodies. The cocoa and the laughter had worked better than alcohol would have on her discretion, and she’d mentioned how she’d recently begun to accept her own sexuality, and how it had been hard not to feel like a freak. He’d assumed she meant she was gay, and she’d blubbered something out about how that wasn’t it. He’d asked her if she wanted to talk about it. And he’d told her it was fine if she didn’t want to. And those eyes had been so clear, and his freckles so warm, and his smile so dorkily sincere.

And she’d told him.

She’d told him how she’d discovered her fetish in grade school, and only understood what it was recently. She’d told him how she’d found herself fantasizing things that felt strange to be fantasizing about. She told him how she’d worked with her journal to push through her shame, and fear, and how she’d come to kinda like this weird little quirk of nature.

And he’d smiled, tousled her hair, and said, “Well, next time I get sick, I know who to call.”

Then she’d hit him with a pillow so he wouldn’t see her turn scarlet.

 

 

 

The person on that cold rainy evening felt a lifetime away now. Further still for the frigid boy sitting not two feet away from her behind the wheel. She knew he couldn’t have forgotten. She knew her silence must be suspicious. But she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but avoid his gaze. So they continued in silence. Queen continued to sing his heart out as the state border swooped past.

A few miles past the border, she heard the same fortelling gasp from beside her. This time, she stopped herself from looking over. She didn’t want to look like she was trying to ogle him or something. This time was a bit of a longer build up. She heard his breath waver, then return to normal, a moment later he drew in a sharp breath.

“HHhuh—chunn! Hhh—chunn! Hhhuhh—hhaa-chunnx!”

There was a moment of crisp silence. Another crisp throat clearing.

“Excuse me,” he muttered. “Could you hand me a tissue? I keep a pack in the glove box.”

“Yeah!” Jaime quickly fumbled for the latch. After a moment of riffling through his glovebox, she came up with a small plastic bag with the Kleenx logo printed on the front and nothing inside.

“Do you have a backup?” She asked, holding the empty bag up for him to see. He flicked his eyes from the road to the bag, and back to the road. He hadn’t moved his glove from his nose, and it moved with him as he shook his head.

“That was the back-up,” he said with a small laugh. He looked dopy, and the laugh loosened the lines of his face.

“I think I might have a pack in my backpack.”

“Are they lotioned?”

“Um. I dunno. Hold on.” She riffled through the front pouch on her bag and pulled out a small pack of tissues. “Yeah.”

“No good. I’m actually kinda allergic to the lotions they use.”

“That’s pretty ironic.”

“Isn’t it? There’s a Starbucks in a half-mile or so. I’ll grab some napkins from there.”

Jeremy massaged his nose a moment longer, sniffed wetly, then let his hand fall from his nose so he could flick his turn signal on. The next exit took them into a wide road of traffic lights, gas stations, and strip malls. The light caught them right before their turn into Starbucks and left them sitting in the middle of the intersection until it changed. Just as the light was turning green, Jaime heard the now familiar gasp beside her. She turned to see Jeremy’s head tilted back, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, eyelids fluttering.

“Hehh—hhh-chunnx! Hhh—chunnx!—”

Behind them, a car horn blared. Jeremy startled in surprise before pitching forward once more.

“Hhhh-chunnx!”

He threw his head back the moment he’d finished and hit the gas. His hair still scattered into his face from the small fit gave him a disheveled, panicked look as he swooped the car through the intersection and into the parking lot. Jaime had to stifle a grin.

“Relax. They’re being a dick.”

“Huh? Oh.” Jeremy’s checks flushed a little pinker. “Sorry,” he breathed, his voice cracking at the end of the word. He cleared his throat again and covered his expression by pushing his hair back into place. He parked and the two of them got out of the car.

“You want anything?” Jeremy asked as they trudged toward the entrance.

“I might get a tea or something.”

“What kind of tea?”

“Dunno.”

“How’m I supposed to get you a tea if you don’t tell me what kind you want.”

“I can get my own thing.”

“I know you can. But I have three months worth of treating you to make up for.”

“You really don’t have to.”

The conversation trailed off as they entered the store. Jaime ordered a tea, Jeremy a coffee. Jaime paid for her own drink. Jeremy stuffed his pockets with napkins while they waited. A few were left sticking up awkwardly out of the folds of his coat when they left the café. No more than three steps from the door, Jeremy had to stop and stifle another pair of sneezes into one of his newly grabbed napkins. When he blew his nose it had a distinctly wet touch to it. Jaime fiddled with the cuff on her sweatshirt, trying to avoid meeting his eyes through the whole process.

“Hey.” She blurted the word more abruptly than she’d planned, once he’d lowered the napkin. Jeremy looked up at her, his nose faintly pink from the rough fabric of the napkin. “I can take a bus back home.”

He blinked.

“What?”

“I mean, there’s a bus that runs from your college back home. So if you have last minute stuff to do before the holidays, I don’t have to stay the whole three days. It’s okay.”

“Oh…”

Jaime had tried to phrase it so that Jeremy didn’t have to tell her he wanted space from her to get it, so he’d have a built in excuse. But it hadn’t made the exchange any less awkward. There was another silence, filled with the white noise of car wheels. Neither of them made eye contact with each other.

“If you want to head back, I won’t stop you.” Jeremy said softly.

“What? I- No! Damn it-” Jaime hooked a finger into a frayed loop on her sweatshirt cuff and tugged it for moral support. Her cheeks were burning. She felt stupid and presumptuous and cruel all at the same time. “I want to stay with you.” She let her sincerity slip into her voice. “I just—we arranged this three months ago. Stuff happens- things change. If you’re busy- or sick- or just- anything, I want to let you know it’s okay to have space.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened. He flushed and ducked his head as if to dip his face into a scarf he wasn’t wearing. “You noticed.”

Jaime let out a laugh. “Yeah, I’m a real Poirot.”

“I’m sorry. I should have warned you. If you don't want to hang out with me, you don't have to.”

“I just said I do.” Jaime nearly threw her hands up in exasperation. “Look, I think I made a stupid mistake. Let’s just get this straight. I want to stay with you. Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Then we’re good. Let’s just forget this happened.”

“Okay…” Jeremy said, a still a little uncertain. They started to move toward the car again. After a pause, Jeremy asked, “What made you think I didn’t want you to stay with me?”

“It’s stupid.”

“I doubt it.”

“It really is.”

“Will you tell me?”

Jaime drew in a breath.

“You…” she sighed. “You didn’t hug me as long as you usually do- God this sounds stupid when I say it out loud- And then you felt distant, and I was afraid I’d done something to insult you- or maybe you had so many new friends at school that you didn't need your old ones- or you just wanted space, but were too afraid to tell me-”

Jeremy blinked, then face palmed. “I- no!” He set his coffee on top of his car, and swept her into a hug.

“Wha- hey! Let me put down my tea!” Jaime laughed. She felt for the top of the car and carefully set her tea there, and returned the hug. This time, when she relaxed into it, Jeremy’s embrace tightened.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been sneezing all day. Back at the school, I thought it was gonna happen, and I didn’t wanna accidentally do it on you. That’s why I let go.”

“I’m sorry, this was all just stupid.”

“Shut up and hug me.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Their reprise went better. Jaime drank her fill of Jeremy’s leathery scent. She felt Jeremy drawing in similar deep breaths, his nose buried in the hair at her shoulder. They embraced until they’d built a warm patch where their bodies met. When they finally broke apart, Jaime shivered as the cold air rushed back in where Jeremy had been. Jeremy’s shiver turned into an errant sneeze, which he caught in his glove.

“You want me to drive?” Jaime asked, watching him fumble for a napkin. Jeremy gave her a strange look.

“You can’t drive.”

“Yeah, I can.”

“Since when?”

“I tested back in October.”

“When the hell did you turn eighteen?”

“October second, you sent me a card.”

“I know—just—how’d you get so old?”

“The same way you got sick. Time and bad luck.”

Jeremy laughed. “Touché.”

“I promise I’ll only crash your car stop signs and small lamp posts. They hardly count.”

“If that doesn’t give me confidence, I don’t know what would.”

“Do you really think that me driving will me less safe than someone who has trouble keeping their eyes open?”

Jeremy sighed and reached into his pocket.

“I don’t know where you inherited common sense, but it’s a bit of a nuisance.”

Jaime took the keys, handed Jeremy his coffee and the two of them climbed back into the car, on opposite sides now, and took off down the road.

Edited January 10, 2017 by PetalsAndThorns

[White Rose]

This is so cute!!! I really hope there's more!

[Nas]

Awwww!  I love Jamie and Jeremy!  This was well worth the little wait. <3  I like don't even know how to respond. 

 

The dialogue is really believable, and okay I also have a thing for sneezing while driving (as long as there isn't like a crash!!!!) so just  The misunderstanding thing was sooooo cute, and I'm glad they got past the awkward silence/tension. Hugs are another thing that really kills me. AND LIKE being allergic to lotioned tissues.  omg what a concept. 

 

Thank you so much, PetalsAndThorns!  I love it!  I'm looking forward to reading more!