admitting to my fetish

[Alicia2]

I thought posting here and finally admitting to my fetish would make me feel liberated and happy. This site seems like a celebration of something special. That's why I wanted to join.

It doesn't feel the way I expected. I feel vulnerable, exposed, naked and just as wrong as ever.

Is that normal? Does it get easier? Has anyone else even had this feeling? Am I just not ready for this site?

 

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

Speaking from experience when I first joined I did feel exposed because of the fact I'd never joined something quite like this. I also lurked for a long time before joining and that seems to be a trend.

For the record, you're not wrong for liking whatever makes up your fetish. Everyone is different and honestly as someone stated in another thread no one knows what everyday people on the street do on their own. Don't guilt yourself because of it. 

If posting still makes you uncomfortable then just lurk there's no harm in that Do what makes you comfortable.

[Stegosaurus]

I've experienced some uneasiness in admitting fetishes/sexual preferences to myself in the past, particularly when I first became active in the fetish community around thirteen years ago. It's a trait that lessens over time, I think. Being around others that share your quirk is the quickest way to normalize it, but you still have to do what feels best for you. After all, joining this community and indulging/discussing your fetish is all for your own benefit, no one else's. The one thing I can promise you is that nobody here will view you as wrong or unusual for having this particular one!

 

I also enjoy the idea of it being a celebration. Before the Internet existed, or even simply before it picked up so much speed, many people with lesser-known fetishes considered themselves to be "weird", or worry that something was wrong with them. My wife, who is also an active part of the online fetish community, has described to me the very moment when, as a teenager, she finally discovered that her secret kink was something other people shared, and that there was nothing "wrong" with her. I hope that, in time, you'll come to enjoy your unique tastes, and I hope that being around others of a similar ilk will benefit you!

 

TL;DR, don't be afraid to voice these concerns. I believe they're a normal part of having an unusual fetish (I have many), but that still doesn't always make them any easier to deal with. A problem shared is a problem halved!

And welcome to the forum!

Edited January 21, 2017 by Stegosaurus

[Alicia2]

thank you for the replies  they were so lovely and helpful.

I kind of feel like I'm not just here for me though, I want to (sorry, this sounds really inappropriate) give you pleasure too with my posts. I don't mean specifically that I want to turn you on, that's obviously one key way in which a sneeze can be enjoyed but I think different sneezes can give you different kids of pleasure, there are hot sneezes but also really sweet, adorable ones that more make you smile and want to give the sneezer a hug, then there are sneezes that just produce a feeling of warmth and happiness and potentially shared enjoyment, a sneeze can also be a comfort when you're feeling sad, a reminder there are good things in the world, a sneeze can be many things.

But it is difficult, most people only sneeze when there's something wrong so I feel guilty for enjoying it unless it's either fictional or if the sneezer is someone who has shared the experience here and kind of given us permission to enjoy it. I hope that makes sense. It's obviously not the same thing as laughing when someone falls over, one thing that really stands out about this place is that even though you enjoy other people's sneezes, you also feel compassion for their suffering. That's one thing I find really beautiful but it still bothers me when it's me.  

[Stegosaurus]

I actually do think I understand what you mean. If you don't mind me drawing a parallel, I mentioned how my wife had a similar feeling when she was younger? The fetish in question is a tickling fetish. As a teenager, she felt guilty for wanting to inflict tickling on people, as some people genuinely don't like it (a fact she's very aware and respectful of - she actively dislikes non-consensual tickling). But, as you said about sneezes, there are also different types of tickling. There's the slow, sensual kind that frequently goes hand in hand with foreplay, there's the more hardcore style that's closer linked with BDSM, and then there's the purely friendly, non-sexual kind that appeals to her in a warm and fuzzy way - a way for two friends to share a fun, intimate moment (particularly as a ticklish laugh is similar to a sneeze in that it shows somebody in an adorably vulnerable state). This last kind is harder to come across in fetish communities, and still sometimes makes her feel like a bit of an outsider, but there are many people who share it, as I'm sure there are many people who share your various reasons for loving sneezing.

 

I know it's in bad taste to respond to somebody with simply listing my own experiences, but I saw the similarities and hoped that knowing you're not alone in this would be helpful.  I have definitely seen this before, albeit in a different fetish. People can have multiple flavours of the same fetish, and some people are Neapolitan and like a fetish for many different reasons (I hope this makes sense!!).

[Alicia2]

I wouldn't say it's in bad taste at all, I think it's a great way of showing you understand, it makes the conversation feel much more of a conversation too if we both contribute and share experiences  (I had actually never heard of it being in bad taste, thank you for mentioning that as it's something I do a lot, if it's in bad taste I will try very hard not to do it even though it's something I actually like myself... I suppose it's a bit like tickling, lovely when consensual and completely wrong when not)

I am someone who doesn't enjoy being tickled and was on the receiving end of a lot of non-consensual ticking at school which went unpunished because "there's nothing wrong with tickling." But that made it even more interesting for me to read about it, to see it for the first time as a positive, affectionate act and to understand how it could give pleasure. It allows to people to be close and affectionate and make each other smile and laugh, you make it sound really lovely  So thank you, as well as making me feel better you've broadened my horizons and helped me to understand one of life's great mysteries  

 

[Stegosaurus]

I'm glad my using parallels doesn't bother you - sometimes the easiest way to try to relate to someone is by calling upon similar experiences (although I still try hard to remember that every situation is unique, because every person facing them is unique). I'm also happy to have put something - that had previously only been used against you as a negative - into a positive light.  I think tickling and sneezing have a lot in common, in why they attract people.

And also, going back to something you said - about how you like to post for other people, too - I think that's really neat. Wanting not only to be included, but to mesh well with the people you meet, seems like a good trait. And I think it's the most rewarding, too. 

I think it's normal to feel exposed. I thought about your original post a bit, and realized that if this is the first time you've become open about your fetish, it's actually a normal way to feel. It's one thing to secretly be attracted to something, but coming out and stating it in writing, in front of other people, is making it real. People with unusual fetishes have often spent so long worrying about how people would react negatively that, when it comes time to do so, they may unconsciously fear the worst. I think as you make friends here that feeling of vulnerability will fade, and you'll become more comfortable and confident with it over time. It's a trait you can learn to love about yourself - a harmless and utterly unique trait that I truly believe is largely good-natured at its roots (I could blab on and on about this, because it interests me so much, but I don't want to bury you under a semi-relevant wall of text any more than I already have  ).

[Alicia2]

I think parallels can really help, they can actually be more helpful than similar experiences. It can be difficult when someone says "Oh I've been through exactly the same thing" and they tell you and it's clear they haven't understood. Too many people assume similar situations are identical, with parallels you can often learn a lot more.

Coming here isn't just about seeing there are other people who like sneezing or enjoying the descriptions and videos, if that was all it was I'd have stayed a lurker forever. I wanted to connect too

I totally feared the worst even here, I joined another community a while ago and within a few posts someone had said or at least implied I wasn't really like them, that the reason I joined for wasn't really a part of me. I felt rejected and never went back, I'd described my thoughts and feelings and to me they seemed to me to be sufficiently similar but it wasn't good enough for them. Maybe if I'd stayed I would have been accepted but I couldn't be sure of that and the rejection hurt too much. So I suppose that was in my mind a lot too and I was afraid (and perhaps still am) I'm not enough of a fetishist or maybe not one at all.

[Stegosaurus]

I can understand that worry. The truth is, I'm not a dyed-in-the-wool sneeze fetishist myself - the inducing, especially with feathers - comes firmly under my love of tickling and powerplay, and the sneeze fetish ties in neatly with other things I love (intimacy, humiliation, and some general BDSM things). I learned about the sneeze fetish by accident, but joined because I'm so interested in it, and I've been really enjoying learning about it. And, as I expected, as time goes on I am starting to associate sneezing with fetishism more and more - this is how I've gathered most of the hundred thousand fetishes or so I have. x)

But despite my love of sneezing being man-made and not something I was born with, everyone here has been very welcoming and nice to me, and it's a pleasure to be here.  I don't think you have anything to worry about!

[Stegosaurus]

Oh, and for the record, I find it very reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who was a little worried about not being 'hardcore' enough. I think as long as our interest is genuine, it doesn't matter where on the scale we lie.

[Alicia2]

I think a fetish is like any other interest in some ways, for some people it will be all-consuming, for some people it will be occasional fun, I would never want to exclude someone because they didn't put as much time into something as I did or liked something else more (though if it was stopping the forum from running smoothly in some way maybe that would be different). But a lot of forums and people can be like that, they have unwritten rules about how interested you have to be and how much time you have to put into it. I'm a member of a forum about one of my favourite authors, you get people who rarely or never read a book that isn't by her but you also get lots of people who like her books but wouldn't put her in their top 10 - as well as everything in between. All members are equally welcome there, an observation from someone who's read one of her books is nearly always just as valid as someone who's read it 20 times, in some cases it's more so. But not all forums are like that. So coming here was scary.

And I definitely think some fetishes can be acquired, life would be quite boring if we all knew everything we enjoyed from the start, it's much better to discover new things as you go through life