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"An Obsession" – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (The Sheriff of Nottingham)


I love Alan Rickman

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Posted (edited)

Hey guys, I decided since I recently watched Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and think the Sheriff is a pretty great (but weird) character, I should try to write a little sneezefic with him in it. Excuse me for writing such a small first part. Let's just call it a prologue instead of a part. I'll write more for the next parts. Feel free to tell me what you think. Enjoy!

 

An Obsession

 

Prologue

 

Though he had a slight air of self-doubt, the Sheriff of Nottingham tried his best to portray an impression of complete confidence as his eyes darted, searching around the perimeter of Nottingham Castle for any signs of Robin Hood.
"Cousin," Guy of Gisborne began in his gravelly voice, skillfully guiding his black horse to a stop next to the Sheriff. "I believe I have found Locksley."
The Sheriff turned and glared at his cousin. "Where is he?" he asked, some annoyance showing in his tone.
"I believe he is in Sherwood Forest with some others," Guy replied, dismounting his horse.
"Ah, brilliant," the Sheriff, suddenly interested, gave a crazed smile. "Once I defeat Robin Hood, the kingdom will be mine." He bolted off and came back moments later on his horse, trotting straight past his cousin.
When the Sheriff and Guy arrived in Sherwood Forest, they both searched around for any signs of Robin of Locksley. "Where did he go, cousin?" the Sheriff asked, anger building slowly in his chest. Before Guy could answer, his horse kicked up a pile of leaves and dust into the air. The dust made its way into the Sheriff's large nose, which began to twitch. His horse backed up slightly as it noticed its master's weakness. The tickle had his sensitive nostrils flaring immediately as his eyes closed tightly.
"HAAARRRSSSHOO!" A thunderous sneeze exploded from the Sheriff's body, echoing through the trees, spraying his hands—which he just barely got up to his face in time—and almost causing him to fall off his horse with the force that threw him forward. His cousin stared in surprise, as he didn't recall ever seeing the Sheriff sneeze in his lifetime, which he thought was quite odd as he watched him climb off the back of the horse, giving up the search for Locksley for the moment. "HRRSHH! Hah, HATCHOO!" George continued miserably, starting to blush slightly. He reached into his coat and pulled out a black handkerchief before blowing his nose with a loud honk. He sniffed liquidly before looking back at his cousin in rage. "You twit! Why didn't you bless me?" 
Guy looked around awkwardly before saying in a slightly sarcastic tone, "Bless you, cousin" before continuing what he was doing, leaving the Sheriff to clamber back onto his horse while sniffling helplessly and stuffing away his handkerchief with a scowl.

 

 

Sorry if this was kind of bad. The Sheriff is a difficult character to write, but I think I've gotten a decent version of him. Please tell me if you have any comments, constructive criticism, or general tips so I can improve. Thanks!

Edited by I love Alan Rickman
Posted (edited)

The first official part came surprisingly fast. I need to start writing more lengthy parts, but eurgh, I was so lazy today and felt I should end it at that spot. Just deal with it for now, please? I promise I'll write longer ones in the future.

 

Part 1

As the two cousins searched eagerly for Locksley, the Sheriff's nose kept twitching at the slightest sign of dust or pollen, though he tried to act as if the movement never occurred. "I thought you said he was here," he said accusingly to Guy, clenching his teeth out of anger but mostly in an attempt to stop the sneeze brewing in his sinuses.
"There," Guy replied, suddenly pointing to the left. The Sheriff followed his finger and looked at a large pile of leaves.
He said in a suddenly calming voice, "That's not Robin Hood, that's a pile of leaves. Why, cousin, you're off your rocker!" He then wiped his nose on his sleeve and set off to go back to Nottingham Castle and give into his allergies in private, but Guy stopped him.
"We'll search, and if we don't find anything, we'll go back," he said, nodding his head toward the pile of leaves.
Biting his lower lip as his nostrils flared, the Sheriff nodded, and they both set off in opposite directions to search for Robin. When the Sheriff was quite far away, he dismounted his horse to search the ground.
As he was searching beneath a tree, he noticed a pile of flowers. As quickly as possible, he clasped his hands tightly around his nose, remembering how he would almost always get into a large fit of sneezes from pollen, and he hoped that wouldn't be the case now. However, the slight prickle at the back of his nose turned into a full-out burning sensation all throughout his sinuses, despite the fact that his fists were clenched so tightly around his nostrils that his knuckles had begun to turn white. 
"Hihghktchoo! Hahxtchh!" A half-stifled sneeze escaped his nose, closely followed by another. He tilted his head back, now a prisoner to the sensation, and succumbed to a violent fit of sneezing, unable to stifle anymore as he sneezed helplessly into his palms.
"Feeling a bit under the weather?" A familiar voice called from behind, and the Sheriff immediately recognized it as Robin Hood. Apparently, his nose realized as well, because his fit stopped abruptly.
"Locksley!" The Sheriff wheeled around in anger to see Robin up in a tree. "I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon! Hahh, HARRSHOO!" He sneezed freely and sniffled before looking back at Robin, wrinkling his nose in disgust at his nemesis.
"Don't you think you would have a better threat by now?" Robin replied with a slight smirk.
When the Sheriff went to respond, his allergies caused him to double over with three harsh sneezes into the crook of his elbow. When he was finished and looked back at the place where Robin had been, he realized his enemy had escaped from him because of his temporary loss of control. Cursing himself under his breath, he mounted his horse and set off to rediscover Robin's location.

Edited by I love Alan Rickman
Forgot the slightest detail and absolutely needed to add it
  • 3 years later...
Posted
On 1/24/2017 at 6:12 PM, I love Alan Rickman said:

"Locksley!" The Sheriff wheeled around in anger to see Robin up in a tree. "I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon! 

Love the fic! I literally read this part in my head with Alan's voice just like in the movie. 

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