Female Brendan And Jasmine(Redone)F

[bben9-kun]

Part 1 Redone

Sorry guys i'm starting it over I need to make the plot more clear and make sure you don't get bored reading...So without further ado Here's Part 1 Redone!

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We see our main character Brendan walking along the sidewalk toward the park. Let's see what's going on shall we?

Brendan walked around on the park looking around admiring the park's piece and beauty. He stops and looks up at a tree. "What a beautiful tree!", he said looking at the tree all around. He looked around until he saw some apples hanging on some of the branches. He grabbed an apple and sat down and took a bite out of it. "Mmmmm....Fresh and ripe too!", he said fulfilled. After he was finished with the apple he relaxed under the tree in the golden sunlight, and fell asleep.

1 hour later...

Brendan woke up, stood up on his feet, stretched, and looked around. "Oh yeah i'm at the park I must have fell asleep under that tree", he said looking up at the apple tree. He decided to walk around to finish waking himself up. He walked around till he saw a beautiful light brown-skined girl walking around looking at all the tree's. She was all alone, so he decided to go over and introduce himself and talk to her. He started to walk over when he notice her stop, and put her finger under her nose. He got closer and heard "Hah....Haaaah...." and then he heard "Hah-Ahhhtshew!". He saw her rummage around in her pockets looking for something. "She must be looking for a tissue", he said. He decided to walk over and hand her a tissue. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Here miss you look like you need this", and handed her a tissue. 

She said with gratitude, "Thank you sir, I appreciate it", and grabbed the tissue from Brendan's hand and blew her nose softly. Brendan noticed her nose turn a little red and said, "Are you okay? Your nose seems to be disagreeing with you". She responded, "I'm fine, Thank you my allergies are starting to bother me a little bit". Her nose started to twitch and she started to breath a little bit faster "Hah...Haaah...Haaaaaaaaaah..." and she released two more sneezes "Hah-Ahhtshew! Hah-Ahhtchew!". He responded while handing her two more tissues, "Woah! Are you allergic to the pollen around her or something?". She grabbed the tissues and sneezed twice into them again "Hah-Ahhtchew! Hah-Ahhtshew!". She blew her nose and said, "Sorry about that...and yes i'm kinda of allergic to pollen, but it's not as bad as other's have it, but it's still pretty bad, but it doesn't stop me from coming down and spending some time at the park". 

He laughed and said, "Wow your a pretty tough person!". She laughed too and said, "Thanks I get that a lot!". Brendan decided to finally introduce himself. "Oh yeah sorry for the late introduction! My name's Brendan!", he said enthusiastically. She giggled and introduced herself as well, "It's alright I forgot to introduce myself too my name's Jasmine. They shook hands after properly introducing themselves. "It's nice to meet you Jasmine!", said Brendan happily. Jasmine smiled and replied, "You too Brendan". He smiled and had heard his phone ring. He picked it and said, "Hello? This is Brendan speaking". It was Brendan's Mom. His Mom replied, "Brendan? Where are you? I'm sure you all right, but where are you? You forgot to tell me where your going". Brendan replied sincerely, "Oops! Sorry about that Momma i'm at the park right now talking to a girl right now i'll be home in a little bit don't worry! I was just about to leave". His Mom replied, "All right oh and dinner's ready see you when you get home sweetie!". Brendan replied, "All right great! See you in a little bit too Momma bye!". Brendan hung up the phone. He rubbed his head and said, "Well...Looks like I gotta get back to my house...". Jasmine laughed and said, "Mom giving you a hard time?". Brendan replied, "No, but I prefer not to leave my Mom home alone in my house with no one there to watch her, so I try to always be back before sundown, so see you later Jasmine it was nice meeting you!". Jasmine replied, "You too! Bye Brendan". Jasmine started to walk off, but Brendan stopped her real quick and said, "Wait! Do you wanna maybe...meet me her tomorrow at 12 o'clock noon?". Jasmine thought about it for a little bit, and came to a decision. Jasmine replied, "Yeah i'm fine with that I have nothing to do tomorrow..an i'm sure my nose won't bother me that much, so okay!". Brendan replied excitingly, "Alright! Ill see you tomorrow!". They exchanged number's and walked there separate ways. Brendan stopped and looked at Jasmine one last time who was in the middle of a sneeze "Hah..Hah...Hah-Ahhtshew!". He smiled and thought, "She has such a beautiful nose and and cute sneeze", and he continued walking back to his house.

That was the Redone Part 1 of my story let me know what you think! Also, Remember to Comment and Follow! it will help me improve!

[bben9-kun]

Hey guys it's the homie bben9! Here's Part 2!

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Brendan takes out his keys and unlocks the door. He walks inside and closes the door and locks it. "Mom! Where are you?",yelled Brendan. His Mom replied, "In the kitchen finishing up dinner why don't you come sit down and get some?". Brendan replied, "Don't mind if I do!". He rushed to the kitchen for dinner. He sat down and began eating right away. Brendan said with a mouthful, "Your cooking out best the rest Mom!". His Momma replied, "Brendan! Don't talk with your mouth full!". She laughed and they ate dinner peacefully. After they were done Brendan offered to clean up. He knew his Mom was pretty tired and might go to bed a little early. Brendan said, "Alright Momma you go ahead and rest up ill take care of everything down here!". His Mom replied impressed, "Thanks Brendan your a real gentlemen". His Mom walked to her room and closed the door and went to bed for the night. Brendan finished Cleaning the table, Washing the dishes, and Putting up leftovers. After that, Brendan decided to go to bed for the night too. He turned of the kitchen lights, Armed the security system, and Turned on all the nightlights, so they would be able to see in the middle of the night. He went to his room closed the door changed into some pajamas, turned the cable box(Xfinity I just put it out if some people were curious)to the Smooth Jazz and went to sleep.

The Next Morning

Brendan woke up, and got out of bed to freshen up for today. He went to the bathroom took a shower, brushed with teeth, and put on a little cologne and deodorant to keep himself smelling fresh. He walked out of the bathroom. He smelled bacon and pancakes being cooked. Brendan said while sniffing the heavenly scent, "Ooooh something's smellin fresh! Momma you making some tasty breakfast?". His Mom replied from the kitchen, "You know it! Come on and sit down get you some of this breakfast!". Brendan said enthusiastically, "You know I will!". Brendan sat down at the table and prepared to eat. His Mom said while setting the food down,"You smellin even better than you normally do you got a hot date Hun?". He replied shyly, "Well....Kinda off, but I just met this nice Dark-Skinned girl and...I think you get it...". His Mom replied playfully, "Look at my little player over here! Getting the girls huh?". Brendan blushed and replied, "Oh come on Momma don't start that again...".  "Oh you know i'm just messing with you!", his Mom said while laughing. His Mom asked, "So what time are you gonna meet this girl?". Brendan replied, "At 12 o'clock noon today". His Mom happily replied, "Oh that's good for you Brendan! I hope you have a good time, and be careful alright?". Brendan replied with a smile, "Yes! You got it Momma!". They continued talking while eating and having a good time.

Sorry guy this is it for part 2! Remember to Comment and Follow! Ill be writing the rest of Part 3 in just a little it though, so be on the lookout!

[bben9-kun]

Sorry this story has been trashed too...But cheer up I just wrote a new story, so cheer up! My new story is going to be so much better than this so go read it!