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Chanel's Folly (2017-2020 Drabbles) Updated Feb 16


Chanel_no5

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***Note***

I got jealous of @AnonyMouse and wanted to toy with new Drabble thread as well. :lol: So, my first drabble thread is currently in progress with the prompts from sophie83540. My second drabble thread is prompt free, that’s where I put random drabbles that I come up with unprompted. About this one, I found this list of prompts randomly somewhere and wanted to give it a shot, as it’s not specifically created or modified by sneeze fetishists and/or sickfic writers. I did remove two words that I knew for sure I wasn’t going to write anything on (death and pregnancy).

As we all know I have my favourite fandoms/characters/people/types so I’ll probably stay around that comfort zone of mine even here, but may also try out OCs that I haven’t yet fleshed out into full stories, and fandoms/characters I’m not generally into for fetishy purposes.

It will be female because that’s what I like.

And these are the prompts:

Bullet

Lesson

Wind

Resurface

Winter

Cruelty

Uncle

Happiest

Bunting

Stalked

Immortality

College

Sauna

Carnivore

Clutch

Wednesday

Cavity

Engaged

Saint

Sinner

Vacation

Outcome

Replacement

Westbound

Smallest

Revealing

Mistake

Abusive

Melodramatic

Surprise

Parade

Overindulge

Point

Mainstream

Antagonistic

Book

Sustainability

Hair

Exchange

Morning

Asphyxiation

Subjective

Ring

Lunch

Discipline

Applause

VCR

Sailing

Sensitive

Street

Coupon

Pattern

Hypocrisy

Emergency

Majestic

Wound

Girlfriend

Camp

Health

Flag

Tyranny

Idiot

Loan

Snow

Bigotry

Film

Graveyard Shift

Booklet

Love

Genius

Perfection

Tomorrow

Motto

Likelihood

Uninformed

Yellow

Shaking

Dark

City

Disposal

Profanity

Punk

Fresh

Protocol

Distinguishing

Hate

Minimum wage

Conspiracy

Speech

Pain

Birthday

Skeleton

Wartime

Anomaly

Trust

Factory

Variety

Curtain

Heating

Suspicious

Irony

Kleptomaniac

Convict

Riot

Warmth

Human

Naughty

Pin up

Nuisance

Paranoid

Plea

Dominant

Letter

Green

Award

Acceptance

Cut

Forfeit

Space

Railroad

Offensive

Abject

Survival

Eventually

Despicable

Loser

Champion

Fussy

River

Fear

Sleep

Underground

Threat

Hidden

Ashamed

Mob

Join

Leisure

Luck

Passport

Illegal

Liar

Oxygen

Homework

Impulsive

Disarm

Double

Abundant

Tender

1987

***

Prompt: Happiest
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Note: Somewhere towards the middle of this one it went from fetishy to comedy for me. :lol:

 

“Disneyland is supposed to be the happiest place on Earth, but you don’t seem very happy,” Rossi joked and nudged his fellow agent.

“First off, we’re here because of a ritualistic murder in the Haunted Mansion, that’s not very joyful,” Blake replied and rubbed her watery eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling. “Second, I’m starting to feel like I’m really allergic to something, and I have no clue what it is.”

Rossi took a closer look at her, and yes, she seemed allergic indeed.

“Will you be alright? I can check the dump site myself if you need to go back to the car.”

Blake actually seemed to consider his offer, which made him believe she was suffering worse than she wanted to admit – she had to be, otherwise she wouldn’t so readily have admitted to being allergic in the first place – but then she shook her head.

“I’ll be okay.”  

She was, for about ten more minutes, but all the while the allergic twinge twirled and crawled deeper into her sinuses, teasing and prickling until dodging the sneezes was no longer a possibility. Her breath began to hitch helplessly.

“Not okay anymore, are you?” Rossi asked quietly. Blake shook her head again, unable to speak or even breathe properly, and cupped both hands in front of her face, sneezing into them several times without breaking her stride.

“HepTSCHuh! NktSCHhew! NnkTTchoo! Ah… heRISSHHoo!”

“Salud.” He chuckled a little as she groaned and let out a wet, shaky sniffle. “Keep that up and you can probably get a job here.”

She glared at him while wiping her hands on her slacks.

“Dave, I’m not happy right now.”

“I was going to suggest the part of Sneezy actually, but what do I know…” he replied, saw her giving him the evil eye, and chuckled again. “Oh don’t look at me like that, it was funny.”

“Can we just get this over with so I can go find myself a double dose of Benadryl? That would make me the happiest girl in the world.”

“Hold out, Alex. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know,” he said. Blake blinked as she started raising her hands again.

“You do know the title of the song you just quoted is L-lehh… heh… heh-ESSHH! Ha-AASCHhew! ‘Let It Go’, and not ‘Hold It Back’, right?”

Rossi sent another amused glance in her direction as he handed her his handkerchief.

“I think I know what you’re allergic to. It’s everywhere in this place.”

“What?”

“Magic.”

“You are so funny.”

***

 

Prompt: Overindulge
Fandom: Big Love
Note: In latter episodes, Barb decides she wants to start drinking wine, so it’s not OOC (she even has a few scenes where she’s visibly intoxicated, though sadly not with this, uh, side effect. :P )

 

Having almost emptied her second glass of red wine, Barb felt something that reminded of peace coming over her nerves. She felt flushed and warm through and through, and her skin felt tingly.

Actually, not just her skin. Her nose felt decidedly tingly as well. She might have to…

“HaAISSSHH!”

Not bothering to cover, she turned away from the crossword puzzle she was methodically working through (where the letters became larger and more uneven the more the alcohol drove itself into her bloodstream) and sneezed harshly to the side.

Now that she thought about it, she had been feeling stuffy and sneezy for a while, and if her skin felt hot and flushed, that was nothing compared to how her nose felt.

That was odd.

“HaISSCHEW! ISSCHEW! HeeIISSHHeew!”

She reached out to grab hold of the table so not to lose her balance – these were unusually forceful even for her – but missed and her hand slipped on the polished wood instead. It struck her as funny, and she started to giggle even while her irritated nose began building up to another sneeze. Half-giggling, half-gasping, she reached for a napkin so she could get rid of the congestion, when Margene showed up.

“What are you doing, Barb?”

The first wife, still quite entertained by her own condition, gave the younger wife a careless and rather adorable smile.

“I’m pretty sure it’s called sneezing,” she replied with a goofy little tilt of the head. Margene closed her eyes for a moment.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Oh come on,” she muttered and blew her nose, only to sneeze again, this time so violently that tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. “First, I’m too uptight, then I’m not allowed to relax. What do you want from me anywa-hayISSHHHew! Anyway?”

Margene ignored her, opened the cabinet and took out the opened bottle.

“If you want to have wine, and Bill says it’s okay, then fine. But don’t ever lie about it. Not to me, Barb. Don’t be like my mother.”

Barb was starting to feel an odd combination of shame, spite and guilt, but before she could figure out how to deal with it, she sneezed again. It felt like there was a steady flame burning inside her nose and she couldn’t sneeze hard enough to extinguish it.

“This happens sometimes when people drink alcohol, especially red wine and bourbon. You know why? There’s histamine in this stuff,” Margene said and shook the bottle slightly. “You know histamines, the things that turn you into a sneezy allergic mess every once in a while? That. Is in this.”

AaaISSSHHHew! That’s worth it though,” Barb muttered under her breath.

“Take a Benadryl and go to bed instead,” Margene said.

“Killjoy.”

“Think of it as revenge for all the times you’ve cut my fun short,” the younger wife replied in turn, then smiled. “But sure, if you think it’s fun to sit here and sneeze your head off, go on.”

Barb sighed.

“No, you’re right.”

Margene’s smile broadened.

“I want that in writing. Goodnight, Barb.”

***

 

Prompt: Dark
Fandom: The Addams Family
Note: I don’t know how this happened, it just did. :lol:

 

“HuhTSSHHuh! Uhh-ETSCHhuh!”

The dark-haired matriarch of the family sniffled and gave her nose a brief, slight rub when suddenly a hand appeared in her field of vision, offering a tissue.

“Thank you, Thing. Oh, this is the most dreadful time of year; sunshine, flowers, trees in bloom, nature’s rebirth. It’s simply repulsive. Hah-eISSHHUH!”

“I agree chérie,” Gomez said. “The splendour is just beyond depressing, is it not?”

Morticia dabbed at her nostrils and nodded.

“This is what I get for neglecting the garden,” she said with a dramatic sigh. “I should have cut off the buds before they blossomed. Now, with all the lovely sweet scents coming from the flowers, I suffer like I have never suffered before.”

She caught herself mid-sentence and her irritated, watery eyes widened.

“Oh Gomez, I forgot about the suffering!” Her face lit up with a smile. “There truly is something enjoyable with each season, isn’t there?”

“Is it excruciating, cara mia? Is it absolutely beyond endurance?”

“Oui… HuhhaaaESSSHHhuhh!”

“You’re always able to see things from the dark side, my love. How I admire that!”

***

 

Edited by Chanel_no5
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I have a bullion other drabble threads, but sometimes you just have to start fresh! I loved all of these! :D

Quote

First off, we’re here because of a ritualistic murder in the Haunted Mansion, that’s not very joyful,” Blake replied and rubbed her watery eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling.

This ^ was so funny. :yay: The contrast between Rossi's statement and this macabre, matter-of-fact response was perfect.

And Salud always slays me. Always. It's such an incredibly endearing way to bless someone. I love how he commented when he saw the sneezes coming.

The dwarf thing!! Way to stick with the theme there, Rossi. And the magic comment... this was so snappy and witty it belongs in the show.

Next: Oh, Barb. Drunk and working on a crossword puzzle: it's how middle-aged women party. :yay: I'm a sucker for alcohol induced sneezes, especially when the sneezer just says f it and lets them fly. I didn't expect her to relent, but Margene did make a good point. I wonder if she would be able to sleep, though, with a "steady flame burning inside her nose" that "she couldn't sneeze hard enough to extinguish." ?

And of course Morticia is allergic to all those happy, pretty flowers. I love that masochistic twist.

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How fun to start a new thread. ^_^ 

I always love your Big Love stories. I also really like it when people get sneezy when they are drunk. :D How nice to see Barb relaxed and not fighting her urges. Urges... hmm...

The Addams Family one was truly inspired. I love Morticia and her optimistic pessimism. :) 

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19 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

I have a bullion other drabble threads, but sometimes you just have to start fresh!

True, sometimes it’s waaaay better than trying to clean up and get order in previously created chaos. Much easier (and funnier) to just create some new chaos. ^_^ 

I’m glad you enjoyed! Oh, Rossi and Blake worked so well together in the show, I think that’s one of few hetero ships that I’m REALLY into. :lol: They could be so funny in a totally somber, sarcastic way and oh my God there were some real sparks in that chemistry… I miss that.

19 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

Oh, Barb. Drunk and working on a crossword puzzle: it's how middle-aged women party

Well, at least it was bottled wine and not bag in box. :lol: Also, what makes you think she took Margie’s advice and actually went to bed…? Maybe she just got along to get rid of her, hmmm...? :naughty: Besides, she’d probably have a solid hour or so of wine-induced sneezing left before she could sleep either way. :P 

Morticia really should be allergic to spring blossoms. It would suit her character. Hello sudden headcanon never before considered… :lol:

 

6 hours ago, Sanguine Cheerful Worrier said:

How fun to start a new thread. ^_^ 

I always love your Big Love stories. I also really like it when people get sneezy when they are drunk. :D How nice to see Barb relaxed and not fighting her urges. Urges... hmm...

The Addams Family one was truly inspired. I love Morticia and her optimistic pessimism. :) 

Yaaay! Thank you! :D I’ve only had it happen to me a couple of times but holy shit it’s intense, completely impossible to stifle or hold back that type of sneezing. Barb might need to relax some more… :naughty: Urges indeed…

Oh, and "optimistic pessimism"? I love that expression! :heart: 

 

1 hour ago, matilda3948 said:

New thread! :)

I will always love your CM stories (even though the actual show is kind of a disaster).

Wohoo! :yay: 

Oh m'dear, I wouldn’t know. :D I live in a happy little pretend world pre-Blake’s departure, everything that happened after that is all a parallel universe that I don’t need to pay attention or emotions to. My pathetic little writer’s heart will forever stay in their days of glory, I'll simply adjust the year in the fics to fit current events! :lol: 

 

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Prompt: Birthday
Fandom: Big Love
Note: Making another one while I contemplate whether or not it's worth going out in the snow to get some snacks... :yay: 

 

Having watched their father coming home with flowers for Barb’s birthday, Wayne and Raymond wanted to do the same. Unfortunately, they weren’t informed that roses and other overly cultivated, pollen-defused flowers were the only blossoms the first wife’s allergies could deal with, while the wildflowers they had picked in colourful, strong-smelling abundance were brimming with allergenic pollen.

Nicki saw the two boys and their questionable gift too late to interfere, although she dropped the apple she was peeling and sprinted after them as fast as she could.

“Mother Barbara, we have a present for you,” Wayne said and Barb turned around, smiling. The smile lost a little of its sincerity and started to quiver a little at the corners of her mouth when she saw the gift he offered to her, but in her defence, it was still a fairly convincing smile.

“Aw, they’re beautiful. Did you pick them yourselves?” she said, debating with herself whether she should send the boys into the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase, or if she should simply accept them. There was a glittering golden haze of pollen swirling around the petals and that was never a good sign, but she didn’t want to disappoint the kids by not acting happy about their gift.

Nicki showed up behind the boys, ready to start scolding them, and Barb suddenly felt sorry for them – all they wanted was to give her a birthday present, and because of that they would end up getting yelled at by their mother for reasons they’d only very vaguely be able to grasp – and so she forced herself to keep smiling.

“Nicki, look at these beautiful flowers our boys gave me.”

“Beautiful,” Nicki said, frowning. “Do you want me to put them in water for you?”

That was the closest she could get to ‘do you want me to get them away from you?’ while the kids were standing there listening. Barb supposed she should accept the offer and escape from that comet tail of pollen and ticklish fragrances before the reaction was a fact. Instead she took the bouquet from the kids’ outstretched hands.

“No, I’ll do that myself, Nicki. Thank you, boys,” she said, swallowing against the slowly forming tickle in the back of her throat.

The kids beamed at her and rushed out to the back yard to play before it was time to eat. Nicki crossed her arms.

“I thought you were allergic to those.”

“I am,” Barb replied. “But I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I can handle a couple of minutes around these flowers, don’t worry.”

“Well, don’t come crying to me when this goes awry,” Nicki snapped and turned to go back to the kitchen. Barb sighed and looked down at the bouquet, no longer even pretending to smile. The inside of her nose already felt like it was being pricked by tiny claws, lazily trying to rake a sneeze out of her. It would only get worse from here.

“Huh-igtSHhh!”

She sneezed against a half-curled fist, trying to hold back as much of the sneeze’s force as possible.

“Bless you,” Margene said as she came into the room, then stopped. “Uh-oh, aren’t you allergic to those?”

Barb nodded as her eyes closed for another sneeze. “Nnkt-ISCHHew! Yeah. HuyISSHHew! I didn’t want the kids to feel b-bahhhISSHeww! Bad for giving them to me.”

“Except now you’re feeling bad,” Margene said. Barb sniffled wetly and blinked a couple of times.

“I’ll be fide. Really. I cad fight it backtSSHHoo! Back. I just… I’ll just… huh… hehhh… ah-nkkthh! NkktXchew!”

She was approaching that point of an allergic reaction where the sneezes themselves caused sneezing. She had been positive she’d be able to smother this attack before it got out of hand, but it seemed she had been fooling herself all along.

“Ooookay, you know what, we’re putting these flowers on the table in the backyard,” Margene said and gently took the bouquet from the first wife. “If the boys ask, it’s because wildflowers like it better outside.” She gave the other woman’s arm a brief pat. “You go upstairs and get those sneezes out. Have a quick shower and take some meds.”

Barb relented. There wasn’t much else to do.

AAISSSHHHEW! Ugh. Thanks, sweetie,” she said and Margene nodded, grinning a little.

“Happy birthday, Barb.”

The first wife almost laughed. Happy birthday, indeed.

 

Edited by Chanel_no5
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omg Nicki's boys are too cute. I loved the image of her dropping the apple and sprinting after them. Barb handles it so well, though, and I love how her concern lies with the kids, even when she knows she'll be the one suffering. 

These beautiful phrases belong in some sort of allergy fic hall of fame:

Quote

Barb supposed she should accept the offer and escape from that comet tail of pollen and ticklish fragrances before the reaction was a fact. 

Quote

The inside of her nose already felt like it was being pricked by tiny claws, lazily trying to rake a sneeze out of her.

And the sneezes just causing more sneezing. :dribble:

Margene is such a doll, I always love when she shows up. "Go upstairs and get those sneezes out" had me drooling all over myself.

Someone should maybe gently let the boys know about her allergies before the next big event... or not. :innocent:

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This last one definitely falls in the "No good deed goes unpunished" category. :D

Poor Barb. Doesn't want to disappoint the boys, but instead... well, we weren't disappointed. :razz:

11 hours ago, Chanel_no5 said:

“I’ll be fide. Really. I cad fight it backtSSHHoo! Back. I just… I’ll just… huh… hehhh… ah-nkkthh! NkktXchew!”

You'll just what, Barb? Sneeze? Alright then, go on. :yes:

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Morticia Addams.  I never knew how desperately I wanted that drabble until now, but how the idea slipped my mind I'll never know. :shocking:  Amazing.

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On ‎2017‎-‎02‎-‎06 at 4:30 PM, AnonyMouse said:

omg Nicki's boys are too cute. I loved the image of her dropping the apple and sprinting after them. Barb handles it so well, though, and I love how her concern lies with the kids, even when she knows she'll be the one suffering. 

These beautiful phrases belong in some sort of allergy fic hall of fame:

And the sneezes just causing more sneezing. :dribble:

Margene is such a doll, I always love when she shows up. "Go upstairs and get those sneezes out" had me drooling all over myself.

Someone should maybe gently let the boys know about her allergies before the next big event... or not. :innocent:

I vote "or not" on that last... :naughty: And she'd definitely never blame the kids, the things Teeny gets away with without even a gentle scolding...! :lol: 

Thank you! :D 

 

On ‎2017‎-‎02‎-‎07 at 2:45 AM, Sanguine Cheerful Worrier said:

This last one definitely falls in the "No good deed goes unpunished" category. :D

Poor Barb. Doesn't want to disappoint the boys, but instead... well, we weren't disappointed. :razz:

Oh yes. ^_^ I'm a horrible person, but... I'm having too much fun to stop. :P 

Thank you!

On ‎2017‎-‎02‎-‎08 at 8:48 AM, PropertyofCora said:

Morticia Addams.  I never knew how desperately I wanted that drabble until now, but how the idea slipped my mind I'll never know. :shocking:  Amazing.

I've actually wanted to see her sneeze my entire life, but it has never struck me to write sneeze stuff about her. :lol: Go figure! Thank you!

 

 

Prompt: Revealing
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Note: Ehhh… I started scribbling this idea and ended up actually dreaming it last night. :rolleyes:

 

“We do know that the unsub has severe germ phobia, but in a tight spot he might be able to hide it. It’s not like he’d get many chances to wash his hands when he’s inside the interrogation room,” Morgan said.

“So how will we know?” JJ said.  

Silence. Then Blake, who had been sitting quiet, trying to melt into the background, suddenly snapped forward with her arm raised up to her face.

 “HempTSCHhuh! HahISCHoo!”

Heads turned in her direction. She looked up, sniffling.

“Sorry,” she said in a thick voice. “It’s just allergies, I’m not contagious.”

“No…” Rossi said as an idea formed in his mind. “But he doesn’t know that.”

***

“Just to be fair, I probably wouldn’t be completely at ease around a seemingly sick person with poor hygiene skills either,” Blake said before going into the interrogation room.

“No, but a slightly increased stress level and a full-blown, phobia-induced panic attack are two different things,” Rossi reminded her. “There’s no need to overdo it, blow your nose a couple of times during the interview, leave the used tissues on the table, and if you have to sneeze…”

“I know, no covering,” Blake said and made a slightly disgusted face. “And if he doesn’t react?”

“Then it’s not our guy.”

“Okay. Here goes.”

***

When she blew her nose for the second time, the suspect looked visibly distressed, but not so much it could be called a panic attack.

“Ugh, sorry about that,” Blake said. “Summer colds really are the worst,” she added. A muscle twitched in his cheek and beads of sweat started forming at his hairline, but that wasn’t quite enough. She felt her nose tickling and almost chased down the sneeze, deciding that if he wasn’t budging after she sneezed, she would get out of there. They’d have to find another way.

 “HaESSCH! AeSSCHHoo! HuhESCHhuh!”

By the time she had reached the third sneeze he couldn’t take it any longer; he backed away as far as the handcuff chain allowed, shouting;

“Get this plague carrier away from me!”

Outside the interrogation room, Rossi turned to Hotch.

“We’ve got him.”

***

 

Prompt: Profanity
Fandom: Big Love
Note: There seems to always be an issue with Margene being loud and attention-seeking, at least in Nicki’s mind… so, I went with it.

 

“HaARRSSHHH! AEERSSHHHoo!”

“Oh for Pete’s sake Margie, could you do that a little bit quieter?!” Nicki snapped. Margene glared at her and rubbed her nose.

“You never say that to Barb when she’s sneezing, and she does that far more than I do,” she pouted.

“Don’t drag me into this,” Barb said, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel and turning page in the recipe book.

“Barb doesn’t sound like she’s trying to get the attention of everyone in the entire state,” Nicki said. “You, on the other hand, seem to have a deeply rooted need for attention, and frankly, it’s pathetic.”

“Oh, that came from the right person!” Margene said. “Barb, did you hear that?”

“No,” Barb replied and started measuring flour.

“Of course she didn’t, you made everyone deaf with that… screaming.” Nicki scoffed. “You simply have no sense of decency, that’s your problem.”

“My problem?” Margene laughed bitterly. “Fuck you, Nicki!”

Barb stiffened at the profanity. Nicki raised her eyebrows.

“You just proved my point. No sense of decency.”

“I sneezed, it’s you who’s starting a war over it!”

“You could at least watch your language.”

Margene rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion.

“Fine, I’ll watch my language! Jesus Christ!”

“Obviously not,” Nicki muttered.

Barb closed her eyes. If these two didn’t stop bickering soon, she’d probably start cursing too. 

***

 

Prompt: Health
Fandom: Original
 

“Hey honey,” Jason called out from the kitchen as he heard the front door open. “You already home?”

“HuhTSCHaah!”

“Apparently so,” he mumbled and turned off the stove. “Bless you!”

“AaktSSHhhew!”

He frowned. It wasn’t like Robin to sneeze more than once.

“You okay?”

“I’b fide,” she said as she strode into the kitchen, took a glass from the cabinet and poured herself a glass of wine from the open bottle on the counter. She took a deep sip.

“Uh-huh. You don’t look fine,” he said and took his own glass.

“Don’t argue with be, I’b exhausted.”

“Oh I bet,” he said and stroke her hair out of her face. “I think you’re running a fever.”

“Jasod, I’b fide! I’b just… huhpTSHh! Just tired.”

“If you say so,” he said. “Welcome home, honey,” he continued and leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled back, evading the kiss.

“You probably shouldn’t kiss be,” she said.

“Why not? Unless you’re sick?” he teased, and she groaned. “Stop denying it, you’re not exactly looking like a picture of health right now, and you’re not just tired.”

“It’s… hehh… hehNKTSHh!”

“Honey, take that wine with you upstairs and take a hot bath, and then I’ll give you a massage.”

“That does sound lovely,” she admitted. “I feel better already.”

“So you admit it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She gave him a reluctant smile.

“I adbit to a cold. A very slight cold.”

When she headed up the stairs, coughing, Jason chuckled to himself. Well, at least he had gotten her from ‘fide’ to ‘slight cold’. By tomorrow she'd probably admit to 'bad cold'.

 

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Thank you! I'm so glad you like! :D

***

Prompt: Mistake
Fandom: Big Love
Note: I hated that bitch. I know she was created for the audience to hate but I can’t get over how easy it was. :lol:

 

Even when curled up in Barb’s arms, as if trying to turn into a toddler, Rhonda’s mind was preoccupied with how to play the Henrickson family members out against each other. Even with crocodile tears streaming down her face, she was viewing her surroundings eagerly for things she wanted to possess. She didn’t trust Nicki, because Nicki knew far too well what Rhonda was all about. Margene was too insignificant to have an impact on the rest of the family. Maybe in a few years and after a few more babies, but not yet. No, if she wanted to get her way, it would have to be through Barb. Those maternal protective traits Rhonda had heard of and used to her advantage time and time again were fully evolved in Bill’s first wife, to the point where she’d almost literally bare teeth and attack whoever threatened a child. Of course Rhonda didn’t think of herself as a child, but if it was to her own personal gain to act like one, she would.

“Don’t let old Roman take me back,” she pleaded now and climbed onto Barb’s lap, leaning her head against the older woman’s shoulder. But instead of melting like the predictable wax that she was, hugging her, she could feel Barb stiffening.

“Rhonda,” Barb gasped and then – unbelievably enough – tried to push her away! Rhonda was so surprised she almost let her do it before clinging even harder to her, like a tick.

“Don’t push me away,” Rhonda whined in the most puny, help-me-I’m-abandoned-by-everyone voice she mastered.

“You’re wearing perfume, honey,” Barb said as gently as possible while still trying to loosen Rhonda’s grip of her. “I’m so, so, ah-all-hehNKKTSHHh! Allergic to perfume.”

A few droplets of spray hit Rhonda’s arm and she backed away as if she had been burned.

“Eeew! That is disgusting!”

She stormed out of the room, leaving Barb struggling with the oncoming allergy attack.

“Do you believe me now?” Nicki said from the doorway. “That little serpent…”

“Nicki, I… ayIISSHHH! I admit that she’s… heh… hehktSHHHew! She’s…”

Selfish, mean and manipulative, she continued in her mind, then remembered that she was the one insisting they’d let Rhonda stay, and changed course to;

“…trying.”

Nicki rolled her eyes so hard it looked like it hurt.

“I wash my hands of her, Boss Lady. She’s your mistake.”

She stomped away with no further ado. Barb sneezed a messy triple into cupped hands, thinking;

Sometimes I think my mistake was getting involved with Juniper Creek to begin with.

 

***

  

Prompt: Double
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Note: Brief 100 word drabble tagging along for the ride. :P

 

The sheriff laughed so hard he almost cried, and JJ looked rather amused as well. Blake, being the source of their entertainment, was not joining in. She could sort of see the fun in it, though. She must seem like the dumbest, most impractical big city lady imaginable, after canvassing the woods in pantsuit and high heels and managing to not only fall twice, but get a pretty bad poison ivy rash on one arm, along with a desperate allergy attack thanks to ragweed.

Double the fun for the spectators.

Double the misery for the sufferer.

God, she hated nature.

 

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Barb remaining so sweet and gentle, even in the midst of a sneeze. :drool: 

Poor Blake. :lol: Sounds like the perfect H/C cocktail - potential injury or at least soreness from falling, an itchy rash, and terrible allergies. Not to mention the humiliation of having an audience. I love how you told so much of a story in so few words with that one.

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1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

Poor Blake. :lol: Sounds like the perfect H/C cocktail - potential injury or at least soreness from falling, an itchy rash, and terrible allergies. Not to mention the humiliation of having an audience. I love how you told so much of a story in so few words with that one.

Honestly, I did plan on writing it as a longer fic. :lol: I still haven't abandoned the idea... the very image of well-dressed, cocky city people battling nature and end up being battered by it is one I am utterly in love with as it is, with or without the fetish elements. Preferably with, of course. :naughty: 

 

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I meant to comment on this ages ago, but I LOVE the Morticia Addams drabble. It's just so believable and the characterizations are perfect...I love Gomez encouraging her to enjoy the misery :P Just brilliant!

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I always love your Big Love stories, but I particularly enjoyed your original. Slowly coming around to admitting illness, is always a treat to read. :) 

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Thank you so much guys! ^_^  I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

 

Prompt: Kleptomaniac
Fandom: original
Note: Just a very quick one. I forced myself to write something before going to bed. :P And yup, I did read that article.

 

The fifth most stolen item in the US, according to Buzzfeed, is allergy medicine.

At first thought, it sounds ridiculous. How can allergy medicine be theft-prone?

Ah, but picture this. The spring is in full bloom, everything is blossoming in rich abundance, sending hundreds of different plant species’ pollen into the air you have to breathe.

Pollen that turns you into an allergic, dripping, itching wreck, unable to speak in full sentences without being overpowered by fit after tickly fit of non-relieving sneezes.

Yet society expects this allergic mess to shape up and participate in its normal doings nevertheless. Look good, perform well, climbing the ladder of success. Try climbing any ladder while unable to stop sneezing, and see how easy that is.

So, with that in mind, plus a salary that might not quite reflect the work effort you put in, at least not yet… is it any wonder some people turn into kleptomaniacs around antihistamines?

Didn’t think so.

 

 

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Prompt: Wartime
Fandom: North And South
Note: I remember watching this as a fresh dyke at age 15, and the friendship that develops between Brett and Semiramis as the war breaks out kiiiind of gave me femslashy feelings. It was years before I first started writing fanfiction, though.

Spoilers:
 

Spoiler

When soldiers abduct Semiramis, Brett dresses up as a soldier to save her.

 

At first, Brett assumed Semiramis was quiet because of what had happened the night before, and she was unsure whether she should bring it up or not. Just as she had almost decided to let it slide, Semiramis brought her hand up to her face and sneezed twice against it, her head bobbing forward slightly.  

“NktSHH! TssCHEW!”

“God bless you!”

“Thank you, Miss Brett.”

She looked like she hadn’t quite gotten rid of the tickle, and when Brett thought about it, what little Semiramis had spoken since they woke up in the morning, her voice had sounded… thick.

“Are you not well?”

The other woman seemed to consider carefully what to say.

“Now tell me the truth,” Brett insisted. “It sounds like you’re catching a cold.”

“I might be,” Semiramis admitted and rubbed her nose. “My throat hurts. And my nose has been tickly since this morning. HetSSHHew!”

Brett took out her laced handkerchief and offered it to her servant. Semiramis stared at it for several seconds, then looked into Brett’s blue eyes for confirmation.

“I will be fine, Miss Brett.”

“I’m sure you will. And until you are, you’re going to need this.”

Semiramis took it.

“Thank you.”

Brett nodded, fighting back a sudden urge to feel Semiramis’s forehead for a fever. Her attachment had reached a level that almost worried her. Almost. But wasn’t everything allowed in love and war? And what would be more important during wartime, than just love?

***

 

Prompt: Yellow
Fandom: Waterworld
Note: Set after the ending. I’ve said it before, if a person has never encountered nature before… well… it makes for some lovely ideas. :naughty: 

 

It was those damn yellow flowers and the clouds of brighter yellow pollen surrounding them that set her off; it seemed her nose would never get used to them. Every time they blossomed she had a constant burning in her nose and eyes, and once she did surrender to the urge to sneeze, there was no telling how many times she’d have to sneeze before she’d be able to stop.

Enola found these endless fits hilarious and Helen could swear counting her sneezes was almost a game to the child. It was nowhere near as entertaining to Helen, who turned into a rather pitiful creature after two dozen sneezes, and a complete and utter mess after the record fit of a hundred and forty-two. Even Enola had been concerned that time. Well. After Helen hit the one hundred mark, at least.  

She wasn’t able to keep from sneezing at all this time, but at least she didn’t break any records. Her nose seemed content after thirteen rapid sneezes and an additional fifteen more spaced out, but as if compensating for the relatively low number, they grew more and more violent until they practically ripped through her itchy throat. Still they offered very little relief.

“Are you done?” Enola asked when Helen could finally take several deep breaths without hitching her way through them.

“God, I hope so,” Helen sniffled and rubbed her entire face with both hands.

“You only got to twenty-eight.”

“I think that’s more than enough, don’t you?”

Enola giggled and went back to drawing shapes in the wet sand with a stick, which she had started as Helen suffered through her flower-influenced torture. Helen glanced at what the girl had created, and groaned loudly when she saw it was flowers.

“Could you please draw something else?” she complained and laid down flat on her back, exhausted. She was asleep before Enola could answer. Enola considered a moment, and then started drawing horses instead.

 

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Nice ones! I haven't thought about North and South in forever. :) 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you! :) Me either, actually. For some reason Youtube recommended a clip from it, so that's how I came to think of it. ^^

Okay, so, life kind of sucks for me right now, so I had to make it suck for some fictional characters too. It actually made me feel better. Not sure that's a good sign. :lol: 

 

Prompt: Bullet
Fandom: Criminal Minds

 

Kevlar vests were supposed to be tight. But with allergy season in full swing, Blake realised hers was too tight.

“I need to lose some weight,” she informed Rossi.

“Why?” he said.

HehkTSHHgh-ohgod! Because I don’t have room to sneeze in this thing.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t think maybe having one of your patented sneezing fits when the bullets are flying all around you is something you should worry about more?”

Alright, she supposed he was right about that. But pollen was also like tiny bullets, and that goddamn Claritin wasn’t doing a good job at acting Kevlar.

***

Prompt: Winter
Fandom: Big Love

 

“Don’t you think it’s too chilly to go swimming now? It’s basically winter,” Nicki said.

“Nicki,” Barb said between clenched teeth, “I need to clear my head.”

“You’re going to catch a cold.”

“That’s a myth,” Barb said, dropped the towel and dove into the water. Right away she realised she might have been a bit too cocky, the water really was cold, but there was no way she was going to admit it when Nicki was still watching. She’d warm up after a couple of laps, she decided as she kept swimming.

Two days later, she woke up with a sore throat and runny nose, and kept sneezing throughout breakfast. Nicki managed to say nothing the first three times, but as Barb turned away and bent over with number four and five in rapid succession, she couldn’t stop herself.

“Coming down with a cold, Barb?”

“I swear, if you tell me ‘I told you so’, I’ll… ahh… aaISSCHEW!”

“I told you so,” Nicki said and reached for the bread basket with a smirk on her face.

“Could you at least not look so smug?” Barb muttered, knowing perfectly well Nicki wouldn’t stop looking smug until she caught it too.

 

Prompt: Wednesday
Fandom: Original

 

It had been a long week already, and it was only Wednesday. Allergy season really kicked her ass, and she spent most days in a haze of itchy almost-sneezes that were almost worse than the rapid fits that she started every morning enduring.

But she’d get through it, just like she had gotten through every allergy season since she first developed allergies… and that was many years ago. Still, she had a sneaking suspicion that it was getting worse. Either that, or she just didn’t have the patience for it anymore.

Two more days until the weekend.

Seemed like eternity.

 

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Well I hope you are feeling better. :) At least better enough to give Barb's cold to Nicki? She deserves it. Nobody likes a smarty pants.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you guys!! :heart: 

I sincerely meant to have Nicki catch that cold, but she was fighting me so I couldn't write it. :rolleyes: 

 

Prompt: Lesson
Fandom: Original

 

“This was a stupid thing to do,” she muttered and rubbed her itchy eyes violently, then lowered her hands to catch a wet sneeze. “AaeschHEHeuh! Jesus Christ…”

“So you had no idea you were allergic to hay?” he asked and brushed some compromising straws off his shirt.

AeSCHh! Not this allergic.”

“Well, we’ve learned our lesson…”

“HaESCHuh! AaESCHhhoo! Oh fuhhKKSCHhuh!”

“So, I guess that means next time we want to sneak off and have a roll in the hay, we may have to keep away from actual hay,” he chuckled.

“Oh shut up.”

“…Sorry.”

But he still grinned.

***

 

Prompt: Homework
Fandom: Criminal Minds

 

“I’m curious,” Garcia said. Blake looked up at her.

“About what?” she asked.

“About how sick you have to be before you admit that you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick,” Blake croaked and had to cough.

“Not there yet, then. Like that cough isn’t a symptom of an illness. Or that sneezing fit you had in the ladies’ room earlier.”

“You weren’t in the ladies’ room,” Blake objected, but weakly.  

“Oh my sweet, I could hear you from the other side of the corridor, but that’s beside the point. I think you’re also running a fever…” she reached out and touched the other woman’s forehead. Blake backed away almost as if she had tried to slap her instead.

“What are you doing?!”

“Gathering evidence. Yup, you definitely have a fever. As if I couldn’t already tell. Either that, or you went crazy with the blush this morning. Also, you’re wearing a sweater. You never wear sweaters. You’re almost as dedicated to the pantsuit fashion as Hotch.”

Blake stared blankly at her, too weary to bother responding. Garcia wasn’t thrown off by the lack of response.

“Okay, so, here’s your homework for the next couple of days. You have to watch at least one full season of ‘Friends’. And yes, there will be a test.  You’re required to drink tea with honey while you do the assignment. You may have chicken soup instead if you prefer that. Off you go.”

“Is this your strategy with everyone, or just me?” Blake muttered as she started gathering her stuff. Deep inside, she had only waited for a reason to go home, and being ordered to, even if it was by Garcia who technically couldn’t give her any orders, was all the reason she needed.

“I sent Hotch home to watch ‘The Golden Girls’ once, does that answer your question?”

“And did he?”

“Well… let’s say he passed the test,” Garcia said, smiling.

***

 

Prompt: Wind
Fandom: Criminal Minds

 

JJ wondered just how many allergens there were in the wind that just hit her face, and decided she didn’t want to know. it was enough to know there were too many for her allergic body to handle. Her nose itched like crazy; she had rubbed it so hard and so many times it had taken on a bright pink shade, that stood out clearly against the pale skin of the rest of her face.

It felt like the wind pushed the pollen even deeper inside her nose, once more setting off the familiar tickle.

“Heh… eh-iiSCH! ISchew! HehpTSCHhuh!”

“Allergies bad today?” Morgan asked.

“It’s always worse on windy days,” JJ sighed and blew her nose. “More pollen.”

He nodded, and then dropped the subject.

JJ wished she could do the same.

 

 

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See, the thing that makes hay so great is that not only does it have this effect on people, but it's also an oddly sexy place for a quick romp. Combine those two aspects and you've got whump city.

Your Garcia voice is perfect. I love that she just can't drop it until Blake admits what is already obvious. The detail about her sneezes being heard from down the hall... :naughty: Forehead feeling as "gathering evidence," that's a new one. Her "homework." :rofl: For a minute there I thought her goal was to wear Blake down with questions and comments until she admitted her illness.

Nice to see a quick lil one for JJ as well, especially since it's a warm, breezy day here!

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On ‎2017‎-‎04‎-‎03 at 0:21 AM, AnonyMouse said:

See, the thing that makes hay so great is that not only does it have this effect on people, but it's also an oddly sexy place for a quick romp. Combine those two aspects and you've got whump city.

Your Garcia voice is perfect. I love that she just can't drop it until Blake admits what is already obvious. The detail about her sneezes being heard from down the hall... :naughty: Forehead feeling as "gathering evidence," that's a new one. Her "homework." :rofl: For a minute there I thought her goal was to wear Blake down with questions and comments until she admitted her illness.

Nice to see a quick lil one for JJ as well, especially since it's a warm, breezy day here!

Haha, at least it is in theory. In reality, hay leaves very unpleasant nicks and cuts on exposed skin, trust me. :P But as a fantasy, ooohh yeah...! :dribble: (Same thing with rolling around on a lawn/field of grass. I mean... in reality, grass stains are annoying and everything, but who cares if it has sneezy effect on le partner. :naughty: 

Thank you! :D Yup,I think that was her goal to begin with. Only Blake didn't admit it, so she had to cut straight to the chase. After all, the evidence were compelling. :P 

We've had a couple of warm, breezy days here as well and I'm up the walls. There are buds on the birch trees!! :cryhappy: 

 

***

Prompt: Liar
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Note: Continuation from the ‘homework’ one, because Garcia wasn't done. :lol: 

 

Blake suspected she was hallucinating. Why else would Garcia stand on her doorstep? They didn’t socialise outside of work.

“Are you gonna let me in?” the hallucination asked with a hint of humour in her voice, and Blake stepped aside to let her inside. “Nice outfit. I didn’t picture you as a flanell pajamas type of girl, though.”

“Do I want to know what type of pajamas you picture me in, and why you ever pictured me in pajamas, for that matter?”

Garcia chuckled.

“That totally made me sound like a pervert, huh? Sorry.”

Blake gave her a pale smile.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d check on you on my way home.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Wow, you are a difficult woman to care about, doctor Blake,” Garcia said, but she didn’t seem particularly troubled about that fact. Blake opened her mouth to answer, but instead dove into the handful of tissues she held and sneezed two raw, congested sneezes.

Huh-ESChhuh! Ahh… eekTSCHhkh! ‘scuse me.”

“Bless you.”

Blake blew her nose softly before looking at Garcia again. Now it wasn’t just fever that tinted her cheeks; she was embarrassed as well.

“Look, I appreciate you checking in on me, I really do, but... I’m not very sociable right now, and…”

“Oh bless your heart lady, but you’re never very sociable. That’s one of the things I’m trying to change.” Switching subject before the other woman could reply, she continued: “Have you eaten anything in the past two days?”

“You came here to ask if I’ve eaten?” Blake said. “Of course I have.” But she was unable to maintain eye contact.

“Liar,” Garcia said and started to dig through the bag she had brought. “I know you don’t eat when you’re not feeling well, so I’m going to make sure you get some nourishment today. Chicken noodle soup. And the next thing coming out of you had better be a ‘thank you Penelope for making sure I don’t starve to death…”

“HehhnTSChhew!”

“…well, either that, or a sneeze.”

Blake glanced awkwardly at the soup container, grateful for the gesture but not exactly overwhelmed by appetite.

“Thank you. Um… I won’t keep you, I’m sure you have somewhere to be…”

“Nice try, missy. I’m staying here until you’ve finished it.”

“You don’t have to. I’m probably contagious…”

“Yes, probably.” She was completely unfazed. “Now go get a spoon.”

“…”

 

***

Prompt: Resurface
Fandom: Original

 

Around September, her allergies would usually begin to subside and then fall dormant over the winter season, to her great relief. She did fight them with antihistamines, but the over the counter meds couldn’t completely subdue them and so far she had thought it was a bit silly to see a doctor to get a prescription for something stronger – it was only allergies, for crying out loud! She wasn’t so weak she couldn’t handle something like that. It was just some sniffling and an itchy nose. Okay, and some sneezing. Quite a bit of sneezing, actually, but she could usually hold it back until she was alone so most people didn’t know just how much she sneezed once she got going. The point was that she always knew when her allergies would quiet down and when they would resurface.

As long as she was on the East Coast, that was. She had completely forgotten that allergy season was a very different matter in Southern California, where she currently was on a business trip, but the change of scenery certainly did not slip by her allergies unnoticed. No way they’d miss an opportunity to steal the show.

In fact, “allergic” was an underestimation of her current state. If only the word wasn’t static. She supposed you could say ‘more allergic’ and ‘most allergic’ if you really had to, but it didn’t seem to be enough that the word itself stayed the same. She wondered if it would be that bad to change it into ‘allergicer’ and the superlative ‘allergicest’. She supposed that would require a -CK spelling to not look completely weird in writing, but that was fine by her. She doubted anyone would agree with her on the matter anyway.

“What are you thinking about, ma’am?”

“The lack of complexity in the English language.”

“The lack of it?”

“Never mind. Get me the sales numbers for the Long Beach branch. HaeSCHh! HaittSCHhuh! And some tissues.”

 

 

 

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