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Stupid ways you've injured yourself


Kaze Wo Hiku

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One time I was bike riding down a really steep hill and I wanted to see how fast I could go. I ended up losing control of the bike, fell off my bike, threw my hands out to brace my fall and literally scraped all the skin off on both of the palms of my hands. It was so fucking painful I looked ridiculous I had to wear huge bandages for weeks. 

I've got another one lol. Last year I was taking a blood test at this local clinic. Anyway I take blood all the time it's no big deal. But this particular day, I felt really lightheaded and confused after they drew blood. The nurse told me to take deep breaths and to put my head between my knees and to stay in my chair. I did what she asked and she walked away for a solid five minutes. The next thing I know I'm on the ground facedown, my neck ears and face are in horrible pain and a team of ambulance people are trying to strap me to a headboard to lift me on a gurney. Anyway, they thought I broke my spine so they had to immobilize me. Guys, I fell out of a FUCKING CHAIR and almost broke my neck!! I ended up having to go to the hospital to get x rays and tests to determine if I fucked up my spine. In the end I just got really bad whiplash and a bruised nose and eyes from crash landing on the floor out of my chair. Needless I say I am now terrified of blood tests bad falling out of chairs  :lol: 

 

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This honestly for real happened a couple of days ago, but I made myself bleed with ramen noodles.

How, you ask?  Well.

I was opening the package (I was feeling sick that day so something bland like ramen was all I wanted on my sore throat...don't normally just eat ramen) and attempted to break the ramen block in half, when a piece splintered off and drove itself under my nail bed. It was so stupid and hurt SO MUCH.  But honestly I hurt myself in dumb ways like this constantly. 

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This one time I was dancing, and at one point I pulled my arm back really hard and punched myself in the face.   :lol:
 
Another time when I was a kid, I tried to open a glassed-in screen door by pushing it open with my hands, because apparently I didn't think the door was latched. It was though, and I ended up pushing my hands through the glass, and I cut my arms all up. I had to get stitches on the inside of my right wrist, and almost up the entire length of my right forearm. I still have a pretty decent scar from that.
 
And since I'm on a roll, this is probably one of my most embarrassing moments ever: I was on a co-ed softball team a few years back, and one day a friend on another team asked if I would fill in on their team, because they were short players. So the game had just started and I was in the outfield, and this dude hit a long fly ball, and I ran out to make the catch. To this day I don't exactly know what happened, but I tripped a little and kind of lost my bearings, and I guess I got disoriented for a second...anyway, when I went to make the catch...the ball hit me in the head and knocked me out. I came to pretty quick afterwards, but they called an ambulance anyway and they hauled me off to the hospital. (I only ended up with a mild concussion, luckily.)  It was pretty humiliating :shy:  The team I was filling in for didn't have enough players to keep playing, so they had to call the game off after that. And to add insult to injury, the hospital they took me to was my place of employment, so everyone at work quickly found out about my fantastically klutzy moment. I'm not sure if I'll ever live that one down.
 
I could go on all day, I'm such a klutz  :lol1:
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What an amazing topic! :lol:

Stupid hedgehog - case 1

Alright... I was five and it was Christmas. I was completely excited as probably all 5-years-old. But I had to stay in my bedroom and wait until I would hear the bell from the living room. Once I finally heard it, I jumped up and wanted to run out of the room and into the living room that was right around the corner. Sadly, I only came to the threshold where I stumbled and fell head first against the big cupboard in the hall. So - instead of celebrating Christmas Eve, my parents had to take me to the ER because the hole in my head had to had stitches. :P

Stupid hedgehog - case 2

When I was ten I climbed a tree as I did quite often. But this time, I climbed on a rotten branch that crashed down with me - I broke my arm.

Stupid hedgehog - case 3

Age 12 (I think) PE-lesson, I managed while jumping rope to turn my right foot that stupidly that a broke the metatarsal bone of my little toe.

(And those were only the first three of a loooog row. :rofl: )

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Most of my injuries are cat related.  I broke my toe because a cat ran under my feet as I was coming down the stairs.  My boyfriend had trained one of our cats to jump up on his shoulder from the banister of the stairs...one day the cat was eyeing me up and I realised it was going to try to jump onto my shoulder so I tried to get out of the way, but I was too slow so I ended up with the cat hanging from the front of my neck by his claws.

The rest of the time my injuries are down to my airheadedness.  I was making homemade applesauce once and stirred a little too intently and a bit flew up and burnt my eyelid, which developed a massive blister.  Last week I was putting some coal on the fire, and one piece didn't fall quite where I wanted it so I stuck my hand INTO THE FIRE to retrieve it.  Quickly realised why what was a bad idea.

But aside from the broken toe, all of these were very mild.  I have never been seriously injured.  Never had stitches, only ever broke one bone and that was well into adulthood.  Long may it continue!

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These are all fantastic, I'm really enjoying reading this thread -- and it's also making me feel like less of a klutz ;)

1. Broke my toe swing dancing when my partner set me down badly after a lift.

2. Got tendonitis in my hand - again, swing dancing - while I was practicing kicking up into a handstand for another lift.

3. Came very close to breaking my back after sledding full-speed down a steep hill into a fire hydrant.

4. Most recently, in October I decided the first time I was going to ride bareback would be on a feisty cutting horse without using a bridle. She took off and I went flying, and bruised the back of my hipbones landing on gravel. I couldn't walk right for two weeks, and I still hate riding bareback.

I've also broken a toe at the barn (horse spooked and stepped on me) but that's not too stupid, considering it happens to people constantly lol. Horses are dangerous, man!

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I have another entry to record from my childhood.....

I dived on to my bed and landed head first on the point of a pencil which stabbed me in the small gap between my eye and nose. To this day I have a small blue mark (partly hidden by my glasses) as a permanent record of what could have been a much more dramatic injury. I assume the mark is caused by a tiny fragment of pencil lead which embedded in the skin and caused permanent discolouration.

:joal:

 

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39 minutes ago, Joal 555 said:

To this day I have a small blue mark (partly hidden by my glasses) as a permanent record of what could have been a much more dramatic injury. I assume the mark is caused by a tiny fragment of pencil lead which embedded in the skin and caused permanent discolouration.

:joal:

 

First of all, holy crap that accident could have ended up so horribly if it had been a few inches to either side, wow! :(

But also, when I was in elementary school, a kid stabbed me between two fingers with a pencil, and I have the exact same blue mark :lol: Not as dramatic as you, but I always thought it was weird that it never, ever went away. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

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10 minutes ago, Oolia said:

I have the exact same blue mark :lol: Not as dramatic as you, but I always thought it was weird that it never, ever went away. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

 

That's awesome! I have also been amazed that the mark never disappeared!

We shall forever be the Blues Brothers Blue Mark Twins!

:joal:

 

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I'm a constant danger to myself, so I'm not even sure where to being on this topic. :laugh2:

I'm on the tall side, so I hit my head a good bit.  Usually I just shake it off, but I recall one time I was having a really good day, and was being boisterous in the wrong place.  I went to jump up the first few steps of a ladder, but ended leaping straight up into a steel I-beam.  I dropped like a rock, and crawled over to a corner to recover.  Pretty sure I almost passed out. 

There've also been a few other times where I've stood up into things from a crouching position (a low doorframe and another I-beam).  You never realize how forcefully you stand up until you run into something....

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I remember once when I was little, my brother was dragging me to leave some place, and I started complying and going willingly, but he insisted on still holding me by my elbow. He tripped, yanked me down with him fast, and I scraped up my bare elbow on the carpet.

I'm a magnet for getting hit with balls a lot. A few years ago, I managed to get hit in the head with a soccer ball and a basketball many times, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T PLAY EITHER AND DIDN'T TAKE PE. Speaking of PE, I get hit (or ALMOST hit -- especially in the head) a lot. A couple months ago, I got hit in the face with a volleyball pretty hard. I wasn't even playing then either lol I was waiting for my turn, away from where anyone should be throwing the ball. It managed to hit my nose really hard AND THEN hit my eyes and pretty much the rest of my face. My eyes teared up for a few minutes even though I wasn't crying. It didn't hurt THAT badly, I guess. I had a bump on the bridge of my nose for a while (and I'm paranoid that I still do, but I'm pretty sure I'm imagining it).

I haven't actually broken any bones ever. This is probably because I'm afraid of heights and not particularly fond of fast speeds.

Oh, and this is kinda stupid, but not really an injury, exactly. I was trying to induce with pepper for the first time, except I used cumin or something because I read something that said it worked better. I inhaled WAYYYY too much. That really burned. I just said under my breath, "Oh, shit!" And started laughing because it was really stupid. And I didn't even sneeze. It just really burned for a while. I learned my lesson.

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When I was younger, I was biking home from my friend's house and I had this weird feeling like I was being followed so I turned to look behind me and just as I looked forward..BAM! I rode face first into a mailbox at top speed and successfully knocked myself out for about five minutes. Whenever I awoke some guy was pulled over, asking if I was okay to which I nodded and finished riding home.

The next incident was definitely an accident just waiting to happen but once when I was attending a church youth group I got the bright idea to slide down the stairway hand rail like in the movies. I proceeded to fall off half way down the stairs and tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs, laying at the bottom and questioning my existence and all of my life choices.

The final incident happened when I still had my pet rabbit and was going out to feed her. It was early January I think and still snowy/icy out so my mother told me to be very careful on the steps. I scoffed and proudly told her I didn't need to be careful, I wasn't gonna fall. Well..the next thing I know, I see the carrots and other treats I'd been carrying go flying and I'm bouncing down the steps on my ass. I hit the bottom and rolled about the yard in utter pain while my mother came out to check on me. She was too busy laughing to even ask if I was okay.

I was a very accident prone child growing up lmao.

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Okay, so when I was around 9 years old, me and my friends where playing chase. So I was running after one of them. And I stepped on a tin can and sprained my ankle. I couldn't put weight on it for three weeks, and in that time we had like, a day where we would go to the sportpark to do sports all day, but this ONE year we had to do it on the beach. You can imagine the fun I had having races in the sand with a sprained ankle but to mutch pride to admit that I couldn't run....

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Ohh, I just remembered another one, but I can't edit my post :(

When I was like, 3 or something, I was walking with one of those walking bikes, and I walked down the stairs and fell down head first.... I wassn't injured, or, that's what my parents told me. Again, I was 3 so I don't remember it very clearly.

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I cut my mouth on crispy fried bacon. That was just stupid. Who even does that?

I SOMEHOW managed to get the tab of a Coke can stuck in my nostril when I drank from the can. It bled. :rolleyes: 

When I was mounting my horse bareback once, I used so much force I fell over on the other side and hurt my wrist.

Way back, I used to ride a pony who had a habit of scraping her riders off against trees. Technically, those ongoing injuries weren't my fault, but let's say she managed to do this to me several times and my knees got used to being in a state of constant pain and bruising. Mares. Seriously. :lol: 

I passed out in the bathroom once (this was when I was on Zoloft, I got lightheaded or passed out all the time thanks to that crap), fell forward and hit the side of the bathtub face first. I smashed my bottom lip against my teeth so hard I bit right through it. Luckily it healed.

I got in my head that I was going to wax my legs. I had a tiny, tiny, healed wound from a scratched mosquito bite on one leg, but since it had gotten to the point where there wasn't even a scab left, the skin was just pink, I figured that wouldn't be a problem. IT WAS! The wax stripe tore out the scab and its roots (apparently those things have roots before they're finished healing, it was kind of interesting in a disgusting way) and it bled like you wouldn't believe. It eventually healed and filled with scar tissue, but there's still a "hole" into the flesh.

And probably the dumbest of them all: I rolled over in bed, smacked my head straight into the wall full force, and passed out. :lol: 

 

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I've remembered another one from my childhood and this one was REALLY stupid!

I was entrusted with drying the dishes and my mum said "be careful with that sharp knife". So what did young Joal think to himself?........."I'll just see how sharp this knife really is by running my finger along the blade" :glare:

Result - a badly cut finger, lots of blood and another life lesson learned.

:joal:

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Joal 555 said:

I've remembered another one from my childhood and this one was REALLY stupid!

I was entrusted with drying the dishes and my mum said "be careful with that sharp knife". So what did young Joal think to himself?........."I'll just see how sharp this knife really is by running my finger along the blade" :glare:

Result - a badly cut finger, lots of blood and another life lesson learned.

:joal:

 

 

Omg, Joal, this just jogged my memory of something I did along similar lines and I had totally forgotten about! :laugh:

Mine was when my mum had just cooked a huge vat of pasta bake, and she set it down on the kitchen counter. And of course child me had to go and stick both of my hands in it. I had burns up to my elbows. :sweatdrop:

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When I was roughly 12 my friend who lived across the street and I wanted to go in her backyard but her gate was locked. She was small and athletic so she jumped the fence. I was tall and awkward and had never been comfortable jumping fences before but I tried anyways. I hooked one leg over and was sitting on the pipe of the fence which was hella uncomfortable. I was freaking out because I could feel my body slowly leaning to the right and I couldn't swing my left leg over because I thought I'd fall.

Well I still feel. I must have blacked out for a moment because I don't remember hitting the ground. I do remember not being able to breathe as I'd knocked the wind out of me. My friend rolled me onto my side and told me to put my head between my knees and then ran to get my dad who took me to a freaking chiropractor <_< 8 weeks of adjustments, I hate chiropractors.

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This thread is gold! :lol: (Though I do feel sorry for you all... :consoling: )

Let's see. One time, I was in the ocean, getting really excited about the waves and jumping up and down (as you do). I jumped really high, landed in a weird way and broke my toe.

Another time, I let my surfboard hit my lip (it was my fault, really. Should've handled the board better) and it started bleeding. Another time I came back up after a wipe-out, didn't cover my head and got hit by the board, leaving me momentarily disoriented in the impact zone. :lol:

One time when I was little, I put my hand on a hot plate and leaned on it with my full body weight. It was so stupid and I have no idea why I did it, but I remember the resulting agony vividly.

Also, I caught a softball not with my gloved hand, but with my other hand, where for some stupid reason my pinky was extended. The ball hit my extended finger and, like, jammed it into my hand. And it was a fly ball, too, so it hurt a lot.

 

Okay, I'm not even sure if any of these are funny, and I am slightly alarmed to see how many situations I can come up with off the top of my head, so I think I'll stop now. :lmfao:

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I mean, beyond the hundreds and hundreds of stories that begin and end with, "The stove is hot"...

Once upon a time, I thought it would be a brilliant act of recycling to brew tea in a pre-used bottle. The main snag in this plan was the fact that it was a plastic bottle. Not only did I pour boiling water directly into my own palm, but I also dropped the shriveling husk of the bottle (still about 1/4 full of near-boiling water) on my foot/leg.

Another time, I was determined to carve a very small pumpkin with a large kitchen knife, and my roommate warned me not to "cut off [my] own thumb" just seconds before I announced, "I... cut off my own thumb... :mellow: " (which wasn't true, but it was closer to the truth than I'd prefer :lol: )

Also, having my finger, up to the last knuckle, inside an average-sized pig's mouth is something that HAS happened, but won't happen again.

Really determined to lose at least ONE finger someday, folks.

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This thread is great.

The foot/leg/ankle/?? randomly giving out has happened to me ridiculously often. Sometimes while walking, sometimes while running, something while landing from a small, simple jump (skipping the lowest step of stairs for example). I think it's always my right anlke..? 

Other ankle related incidents would include that time I was jumping from decorative-stone-to-decorative-stone in Tallinn and landed poorly on one. Also when I was playing in our living room as a child, running toward our sofa and jumping to kick the (reeeaaally soft) cushions of the back rest. On one jump my aim was off and my foot landed between the cushions you sit on and the backrest...

Then... All the times I've falle because I've been running faster than my legs can keep up..? I think that's only resulted in scraped knees.

I think I was somewhere between 10 and 12 years old and had this "who can run faster to that other wall" competition with my friend and because slowing down to reach the wall with slamming into it, you know, slows you down, I decided the best option was to run at the wall at top speed. I hurt my wrist but it wasn't anything bad.

The many times I've stepped basly in strairs either due to the ankle thing mentioned above or because I somehow manage to step too far or something and partially miss the next step... Wrists, again. It's always my left wrist/hand/arm/idk for some reason. 

All the times I've falled from somewhere or landed a jump badly and knocked the air out of my lungs (has happened... At least four times? Though the last time wasn't my fault, lol) and hurt my back.

That one time I was playing with my cousin with a lighter and a glass bottle. You let some of the gas or what ever into the glass bottle, then light it and you get this beautiful flare inside... Or you burn the back of you hand. Almost the whole back. It'll be a second degree burn.

One time I was riding my bicyckle home from school while carrying my art folder. It was feeling like it might start to slip so I tried to switch it to the other hand but SURPRISE a A2 sized folder full of paper makes driving with no hands kind of hard. And so I fell and hurt my wrist. Not badly but I did have to lie down a little after I got home because there was some... Playing around with the injured wrist..? And the pain made me feel like I light pass out, lol.

That's all that came to my mind immediately but probably/definitely not all. I have never been to the hospital or emergency care or to see a nurse to get checked or anything like that because of this stuff.

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On March 14, 2017 at 3:23 PM, MaiMai said:

Yep, it's happened to me multiple times also! Ankles are not our friends, clearly. :lol:

My ankle gives out constantly :laugh: I'm actually really surprised that I've never broken or sprained it before

I played tennis in high school, and I guess I didn't brace myself enough to return a serve, because it screwed my shoulder up. I legit couldn't lift my arm for three weeks, but then the pain went away and I ignored it for twoish more years until I went water skiing and it screwed my shoulder up even more.  Turns out my shoulder was partially dislocated, oops.

I once stood up too fast and completely blacked out (usually I don't black out, I just get a ton of black spots and am lightheaded for a few seconds) and fell into a table and cut my arm

another time my mom pissed me off, and I ended up slamming the shower sliding door shut so hard that it shattered and I now have a triangle scar on top of my foot. 

I tend to trip and either fall up the stairs at home, or fall down them.  That's always a fun time 

When I was a baby I was standing on top of our glass coffee table and dropped a huge rock onto it. My dad caught me, so I didn't get hurt, but dang, can you imagine? The table was completely shattered.  

One time I tried to ride my bike down the stairs.  Not sure if I got hurt, but my parents like to tell me about it

I slammed my finger in between a huge cart at work and a wall, and almost passed out because I have a terrible pain response.  Then I did the same thing with the same finger on the same spot a few days later and almost passed out again

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I feel so bad for you guys.  When I was in fourth grade I had a banana seat muscle bike.  Kinda like a '69 Schwinn Stingray but a lot cheaper.  Anyway I was jumping over these dirt ramps we had built a school (bmx bikes didn't exist yet) and I decided to jump two  ramps together as one.  Full speed and I'll be damned if I didn't pull a wheelie in the middle of it all and landed on my back with the bike still in my hands looiking like a moron.  Thank G-d facebook and smart phones didn't exsist back then.  The there was the time I drag raced a friend's motorcycle INTO a dead end street.  Found out he had no brakes and flipped the thing at the end of the road.  I could go on all night but I wont bore you.

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There was nothing stupid about this one, but it happened today.....

As I left the office at lunchtime, it was pouring with rain and the 6 or so steps down to street level were very wet. I put my foot on the top step and it immediately disappeared from beneath me as I slipped and then unceremoniously fell down the other steps virtually on my backside as I desperately tried to regain my balance.

I ended up in a heap on the ground, shaken and bruised and with wet trousers, but thankfully not badly hurt.

:joal:

 

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