"I'm fine"

August 4, 2019

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Edited October 31, 2019 by facet
Removed by user.

August 4, 2019

This is amazing!!!!!

December 18, 2019

Hey! Okay, so this is a suuuper late update, but here ya go! I went through a lot of different drafts for this update on google docs, but I think I'm satisfied with this one. Don't worry, the next update will definitely include Calix as well as more sneezing! I hope you enjoy.

Elle's POV:

Memories poured through me, gliding through my body and across my skin like some sort of cryogenic treatment. My legs turned to lead and my heart grew thirty pounds heavier.

It had been… a while. I wasn’t sure I ever really wanted to reopen this can of worms. Some disasters are best left in the past.

“What’s wrong with you?” His stupid face looked at me with a stupid, confused expression. I don’t think he even realized that his comment was offensive. That would require more self-awareness than he’s capable of.

“Jesus, Nolan…” I tried to shove past him, but he blocked my path.

“Okay, okay, sorry. That.. came out wrong. Are you okay?”

His voice was monotonous. Well, it was always monotonous. But that didn’t really cover it. It was more… cavalier. Yes. Matter-of-fact. Nonchalant. Yet still laced with a sly drizzle of dry humor that made him obnoxiously compelling, and the wit to make him too intelligent to be pegged as a typical douchebag. No. He was a douchebag who could take apart your computer and put it back together just for the inherent entertainment and to piss you off. Which is, again, inherent entertainment. I wasn’t in the mood to be his next sudoku puzzle and wait for him to take me apart and figure me out.

Meanwhile, my nose decided that this was the perfect time to stir up another excruciating tickle, rendering me powerless in what was, perhaps, the worst possible circumstances. Not to be dramatic or anything, though.

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond, and the situation as a whole was giving me unnecessary additional anxiety. I tried to keep my breathing as slow as possible, but even my slowest pace was still in the realm of hyperventilation.

“I’b good. I cad’t, um… I cad’t breathe.”

Words seemed to be spilling out of my mouth like fruit tumbling from a produce stand after someone’s stupidly tried to grab the apple at the bottom of the pile.

“Do you have your inhaler?” Gosh, he sounded so egregiously indifferent. Even when asking an intrinsically caring question, he made it seem like an objective matter. As if he were taking stock on the campus’ self-administrable medicinal devices, and I was but one of many students he needed to ask this to. Of course, I actually didn’t have my inhaler. I’d just been using Calix’s. And there was no way I was asking him for it anytime soon.

“No, I dohd’t.. Hih’mnxxkshuu. Dohd’t deed it. It’s dot asthma.”

Well, that wasn’t entirely honest, but it also wasn’t dishonest. My asthma was indeed acting up, yes, but an inhaler wasn’t necessarily going to fix this situation. Not unless an inhaler could stop me from hyperventilating, help me calm down, make my nose stop tickling so freaking badly, get all this crap out from inside my lungs or whatever’s been making me cough so much, make the room stop spinning around me, fix my grade on my stupid essay, and get Nolan the hell away from here. But, to be honest, I haven’t heard of an inhaler with that particular function. So that didn’t seem like the prime solution to this onslaught of problems. Granted, it wouldn’t have been unhelpful… But still. I didn’t need it.

“Okay, I’m lost. What’s going on?”

There was no easy way to summarize the present chronicle of unfortunate events. At least, not in my current state. And regardless, I was in no state to relay my autobiography. A stream of disjointed thoughts tumbled past my lips as I muttered something about the end of the world and Calix being the antichrist, which somehow trailed back to the phrase, “It’s fine.”

“Jesus, Elle. You always do this. When’s the last time you took a break?” He gave me elevator eyes, but not the good kind. Well, not that getting checked out by him is good, per say. But these elevator eyes were like a doctor robot, scanning me for all ailments and infirmities.

“I cad’t. I—Fuck.”

I felt myself sway a bit. I careened to the side and felt his arm gently keep me upright.

“Whoa… Hey, hey, easy.”

I felt like I was at the beach and I’d just been assaulted by a massive wave, somersaulting backwards underwater, my chest dying for a breath. I’m fairly certain that I would have fallen and hit my head on the bricks underfoot if he hadn’t caught me just then.

My hands grasped onto him as if he were a life preserver in algid water. My breathing became frantic. I felt like I was trapped in a tiny box with no air holes and some celestial being was dragging that box with recklessly swinging arms. Just then, my nose decided to act up. It was that awful feeling where you’re so stuffed up that you can’t fathom how an irritant could possibly weave through the inextricable wall of congestion, and yet, the stinging itch prevails. I pinched my nose shut tightly. I wasn’t in the mood to embarrass myself any further.

“H’hnxkkt! Snff. I’m fide. And it’s not your business anymore. You’ve made that pretty clear. Hh.. Huh’EIHSCHhuu!” I wanted to continue speaking, but that sneeze had torn at my throat, just to add insult to injury. Or, I suppose, to add insult to illness? I cleared my throat a couple of times, but I still couldn’t get it to feel normal. I tried to speak again, but it just resulted in a strained, hoarse coughing fit. I felt like my throat was lined with bubble wrap. Each inhale was increasingly difficult.

I heard him scoff. I wasn’t sure if he was agitated or laughing. Neither option felt terribly comforting.

“Fine. Okay. You’re right. It’s not my business anymore. I'm going to class. Get your shit together. You’re better than this.” His manner gave the impression that he thought he was being perfectly amicable, yet his words sliced through me like a stalagmite. He released his grasp on my arm and stride down the hallway without a backward glance.

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. I was so tired of fighting and arguing and defending myself. I didn’t see the point anymore. My composure crumbled like chalk in the rain as he left my field of vision. My throbbing headache and the torrential downpour coalesced to form a blurry, tunnel-visioned image of the world around me as I made my way to the locker room.

Edited December 18, 2019 by v a n i l l a

December 20, 2019

YAY IT’S BACK!!! I have missed this story so so much, I’m so glad you decided to come back to it!!!!

February 29, 2020

Hi! Sorry for posting without an update! But I'll be posting the next part really soon! I've been working on the next couple installments and I currently have some really lengthy, detailed parts. They're full of sneezing and it's all interaction between Elle and Calix. I personally find it fun, but I wanted to know if you guys would prefer a longer version with more description and dialogue, or a more concise/succinct version that moves a bit faster.

Also, if anyone has any opinions regarding congested/"stuffy" speech spelling, or amount of sneezing (sometimes people prefer only a small, very realistic amount of sneezing, whereas some like a ton of sneezing), let me know! I could honestly go any which way with this right now.

If I don't get replies, I'll just do whatever I think would work best (and also try not to overthink my writing so much and stop worrying about whether people will like it. 😓 B/c that's low key the cause of my writer's block and why it's literally taken me yeaaars to write this story).

Thank you to @ZakuConvoy for the brainstorming help, and thank you so much to @sneezelover32, @Puzzle, and everyone else for supporting this story and still reading it, even though I've been taking forever and a half to write it. ❤️ I really, really appreciate it.

March 1, 2020

No problem! I really love this story!

March 2, 2020

(Alrighty! Here ya go. Next part will be up soon.)

Elle’s POV:

I fumbled through the locker room, somehow managing to input my combination correctly, get changed, and stuff my belongings into my locker. I also stopped by the hand driers for a moment to try and dry my sopping wet clothing. Granted, I could have waited until the end of the period, since my gym clothes were perfectly dry. But I figured it couldn’t hurt to wear some extra layers, even if I looked like a dork for wearing a t-shirt on top of another t-shirt. I put the slightly-dried-but-still-fairly-soaked shirt over my gym shirt, hoping I could pass it off as a strange jacket of sorts if I got called out for not “dressing out.” Which is my Cross Country coach’s dumb name for not being in the gym dress code, which is basically just the school trying to make an extra buck by selling cheap, thin, cotton shirts and shorts. But whatever. I grabbed some paper towels on my way out and tried to blow my nose as discreetly as I could, tossing them into the trash can outside.

Not terribly eager to run about and frolic in the rain, as some ridiculously energetic students seemed to be doing, I leaned against a wall and closed my eyes while I waited for practice to commence. The awning acted as a makeshift force field, keeping the heavy rain a solid foot and a half away from me. It was difficult to block out the dull roar of miscellaneous jibber jabber that took place around me, which was a shame, because my headache still wasn’t letting up, and this was certainly not helping.

It was hard to tell precisely what was going on around me with my eyes closed, but the shift in sounds and energy seemed to indicate that our coach had arrived. I peeled myself off the wall like an old sticker that’s been left on a desk and has no intention of ever actually being peeled off, and I followed the small flock of children to the asphalt clearing that we warm up in. Bodies bustled around me, and I noticed Cal amongst the general group of rambunctious humans. He seemed to be having a good time and enjoying himself. I didn’t want to get in the way of that. He had no reason not to be enjoying himself. He had tried to be there for me, and I had objected. That’s not his fault; it’s mine. I had no right to be cross with him. At this point, the least I could do is stay out of his way and not let my health become problematic to anyone.

The warmups and stretches weren’t particularly taxing, so I partook in them. Honestly, the stretches kind of helped with the general achiness and malaise. But eventually, the warmup became vaguely aerobic, and my ill-equipped body immediately broke down into a harsh, thick coughing fit. A couple of people shot me dirty looks, which just made the whole ordeal even more humiliating. I shut my eyes tightly, trying my best to drown out the dull roar of voices and chatter that was ringing in my ears.

“I, ummm…” I closed my eyes, trying to center myself before continuing. “I’ll be right back.” I tried to be relatively quiet, as to not draw unnecessary attention to myself, but still be loud enough that the coach would have likely heard me. I headed into the hallway, seeking shelter and silence and a break from all the goddamn rain.

“Elle.”

My blood turned to ice. My brain ordered an immediate halt, but failed to get the message across to my feet, which resulted in a very weird partial-trip. I felt two cool hands grab me and keep me upright. I looked up and saw Cal’s worried gaze firmly fixed on me.

I really wasn’t a sight to see at the moment. My nose was completely stuffed up, so I had to breath out of my mouth. Which wasn’t the most attractive look. The skin around my nose was pink, chapped, and starting to peel. There were so many bags under my eyes that a small grocery store could switch from “paper or plastic,” to “paper, plastic, or Elle’s undereye bags,” for at least a week or two without running out of stock.

“I’b sorry,” I muttered under my breath, trying to hide my pallid face with my hands.

“How do you already look so much worse, Elle?”

His words tore at me. I knew he was just worried, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t even know exactly what I meant by that, but it was the only thing I could manage to say at the moment.

His words started to blur together for me, morphing into an angry roar in the back of my awareness. I couldn't handle getting torn apart again. My migraine-ridden brain couldn't decipher exactly what he was saying, but I knew it had to do with him being pissed and me being irresponsible and stupid and fucking up. I stared back at him with wide eyes and spontaneously burst into tears. I felt so overwhelmed and afraid and alone and anxious and I’d been yelled at far too many times today. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt ridiculously pathetic, but I couldn’t help it.

He pulled me in closer, enveloping me in his embrace. “Shhh… It’s okay…” He was comforting me, but I couldn’t tell if it was out of genuine care or general obligation. My head nestled into his chest, as there was nowhere else for it to go. My arms were bound to my sides by his arms, my hands consequently pinned to my chest in a manner that resembled a T-Rex. You know, if a T-Rex had no regard for its health and was also incredibly panicked and distressed. Given this positioning, I couldn’t wrap my arms around Cal or do anything more than feebly clutch at his shirt and sink into the embrace. Just one more way in which I felt completely and utterly helpless.

Oh good grief. Apparently, the universe is listening to my thoughts and it gets off on torturing me, because just then, my nose started tickling again. Fuck.

A chill traced my spine with a frigid finger of death, causing me to tremble. A soft moan slipped through my lips as I fought to overcome the burning sensation in my sinuses. I tried in vain to move my hands up to abate the itch, but I couldn’t reach. Great. Just great.

“Cuh… Caah.. hah.. haeh! C-Cal–”

I couldn’t sneeze. Nope. Not an option. Absolutely positively out of the question. Because if I were to sneeze right now, I would sneeze on Cal. I couldn’t imagine anything more humiliating. Maybe if I stifled into his chest? Or would that be even worse?

I tried to push him away, not wanting to burn my one remaining shred of dignity by sneezing all over my best friend. “H-huh…! H-heh.. heIH…! I-I can’t.. I huh– h-have to.. HUAH!”

He pulled me back in towards him, thinking that my reaction was evoked by emotion rather than by illness. Now we were even closer together than before. I had the following options before me. One: Sneeze into Calix’s chest. Two: Sneeze on Calix’s neck. Three: Try to pull my head away from him and end up inevitably sneezing in his face. Gee golly, such splendid choices. What a wonderful fucking predicament.

To make matters worse, Cal hopelessly and completely misinterpreted the situation. “No. Jesus, Elle. I’m sick of you pushing me away. Accepting help doesn’t mean you’re any less capable. It just means that… That you need help! And that’s okay! What’s not okay is being an ass to the one person who actually fucking cares about you.”

Oh, my god. Now is not the time for one of your rants, Calix! I could feel the tantalizing tickle trace the tendrils of my nostrils, ascending higher and higher. “Please, I-I cah.. hah..! Can’t..”

“Yes, you can! God damnit, Elle, stop saying that!”

The tickle continued to climb, taking refuge in my most sensitive spots. My eyes were streaming from the palpable desperation of this impending fit. Which Cal would probably interpret as me crying because of feelings and emotions and bullshit. Not to say I wasn’t also wrestling with those, but they were far less crucial in this moment.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. The fervent itch had consumed me. I was at its mercy, and no longer fully in control of my actions. I opted for what seemed like the least horrendous option and ducked my head into his shoulder. “hhhHN’gxxt!” My entire body trembled with the force it took to stifle. Fuck. I hadn’t realized how badly my head was aching until I basically smothered my sneeze and set off a mini explosion in my skull. A muffled explosion with no exit point, causing all impact damage to remain internal.

“B-Bless you,” he stammered, slightly caught off guard. His voice still sounded severe, though. “But seriously–”

“Huh’EHKshh’uhh.” I let out an involuntary moan at the end of the sneeze. Because this whole ordeal wasn’t embarrassing enough already. “Eh’hmpk’tshiew!” Shit. Even half-stifled sneezes were too painful.

“I… Bless you.” His tone sounded a bit more confused than it did severe, which wasn’t necessarily an improvement, but at least it wasn’t worse? Or maybe it was. I dunno.

I would have pulled back or tried to turn away, but the fit had really taken me by surprise, and it was making me really lightheaded. My hands started gripping his shirt for support. Part of me feared that if I let go of him, I might fall over or something. Jesus, I hated being this pathetic.

“I’b suh–sorr… IHKSchouhh. S-Sorrih… h-hih..! hih’EHKschiew! Huah’EISHhoo!” I had tried to look up at him to apologize because, I dunno, you’re supposed to look at people when you’re talking to them, I guess? But I don’t think that applies if you’re sneezing all over them? Anyway, thanks to my brilliant decision making skills, I ended up coating Calix’s face in spray. From the brief glimpses of him that I was getting between each taxing sneeze, he didn’t seem upset, but he was probably just pretending so I wouldn’t be embarrassed. He was probably super grossed out by this. And I wouldn’t blame him. Fuck, I wish I were literally anywhere else right now. ...Okay, that’s not true. Even though this was positively mortifying, it did feel nice to be in his arms when I felt so shitty and alone. At least for this moment, before he inevitably runs for the hills and cuts me out of his life altogether for being the sneeze equivalent of a broken sprinkler, part of me felt safe and protected and secure. And I hadn’t felt that way for… Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. Damn.

But after today… After this… There was no way he would want anything to do with my shit anymore. I mean, he’d already said earlier today that he was done trying to help me. And that was his prerogative. I’d been a thorn in his side for way too long. He deserved better.

Fuck. My thoughts were beginning to spiral. I also started feeling really anxious and I think I started hyperventilating. So that was a nice little bonus problem.

Calix’s POV:

Okay, here’s the deal. Yes, I’m fricken pissed at Elle. Obviously. I mean, to be this irresponsible?! What, does she have a death wish or something?

So. Yes. Pissed off. But now wasn’t the time for that, because if I didn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again, there might not be an Elle to be pissed off at.

Problem solving mode: Activated. Alrighty then. What the fuck do you do in this situation? I honestly didn’t mind her sneezing on me. To be honest, it was kind of cute to see this vulnerable side of her. She always seemed like she was gliding over life’s obstacles with ease while I haphazardly and gracelessly tripped over every single one. In school and just as a person, she always had her crap together. I would never dare tell her this, but I’d always admired that about her. And maybe envied, too. It never seemed fair that she would get stellar grades and be optimistic all the time and have such a natural charisma, not to mention her killer smile. And her eyes. She has really beautiful eyes.

...Anyway. Yeah. Sometimes that pissed me off. So, in a sense, it was kinda adorable to see her like this. But also, that was an incredibly inappropriate train of thought, ‘cause she was also suffering and scared and I really wanted that to end as soon as possible. Which brings me back to problem solving mode. Where was I? Er… Problem solving, eyes, unfair… Oh! Her sneezing on me. Yes. Her sneezing on me was incredibly low on my list of problems, though it seemed to be high on the list of hers. What I did mind was the fact that she looked like any one of these sneezes could easily finish her off. She was like a wild pokémon. A Raikou or Entai, those annoying little dudes you have to chase down and it takes fricken forever ‘cause they always run away. But anyway, a wild pokémon who’s health bar is at red and you realize that you can’t attack the pokémon anymore. Because if you so much as flick the pokémon or look sternly in its direction, it’ll faint. Shit. I really didn’t want her to faint. I know that that was just an analogy and that she’s not actually a pokémon, but… I was really afraid that she might actually faint. And I honestly think that would break me.

While I took my sweet time staring off into space with a dumb expression on my face, trying to figure out how the hell to provide help, Elle was in the deep end of a really awful-sounding sneezing fit. Not like ‘oh you sound awful,’ but like, ‘gee, you sound like you feel awful.’ If that makes any sense? Good lord, Calix, fucking focus.

It dawned on me at that moment that I had pinned her arms against her chest from the way I was holding her, which would explain why she wasn’t covering her sneezes. Shit, she was probably really embarrassed right now. I would have loosened my grip on her if she didn’t look like cartoon birds were flying around her head. I did not trust that girl to stand on her own. But we also needed a better solution to this problem. My current solution was to look at her dumbfounded while offering a, “Bless you,” literally every time she sneezed. Which was a lot. So I probably sounded really dumb. But she just sounded so helpless and small and delicate. It felt heartless not to bless each sneeze when each one sounded like a tiny cry for help.

She also sounded like she was getting really anxious, ‘cause she was breathing way too fast. At first I’d thought it was just from trying not to sneeze, but this was different. It was making her tense up in a way that I hadn’t seen from her before. Shit. I just wanted to hold her close and make everything okay, but I was doing that and it just made things worse. I didn’t know what the fuck to do.

“You’re okay,” I coaxed, rubbing her back in small circles. “You’re okay… Come here.” I pulled her closer, trying really fucking hard to somehow be of help to her.

“Cal, I’b s-so soh.. Huah… HAH! S-Sor… ruh… Uhk’ktssh’iuhh! S-Sorry…”

“Stop apologizing. I don’t care about that right now.”

“But I’b sdee… heih… s-sdeezi’g od yih… EHKshiuu! EIHKsch’iah!” Her frail frame crumpled repeatedly into my arms. I felt like I was holding an origami bird made of razor thin ice-paper.

“Then sneeze on me! I don’t care! Just… take a deep breath and try to calm down.”

The tension in her muscles lessened a bit. Her breathing began to slow down, aside from some slight hitching before sneezing. She seemed to be fighting less to hold her sneezes back, so the fit in general seemed to be calming down a bit. I continued to hold her and rub her back as we stood there, waiting for the sneezing to subside.

Edited March 2, 2020 by v a n i l l a
Typos

March 2, 2020

OMG YES YES YES!!!!!

March 2, 2020

Calix is so sweet! Hopefully he gets that sneezy cold soon

March 3, 2020

oh wow i remember this one! thanks for the new update its amazing! im excited to see where this goes

March 4, 2020

(Here's an update! More to come!)

Calix’s POV:

When the storm had passed–honestly, more of a goddamn tempest than a storm, but whatever–I tried to do some damage control. “Do you have any tissues?” She responded by procuring some wrinkled paper towels from her pocket. Thankfully, she understood where I was going with that, and proceeded to blow her nose. I gave her some space, helping her sit down on one of those weird-looking blue tables that schools always have. Thankfully, it had a trash can next to it that was within Elle’s reach. It probably made her feel a tad less embarrassed to be able to at least throw the paper towels away without assistance.

“Thanks,” she murmured, muffling a short bout of wet coughs into her elbow. Though the cough sounded really bad, at least her congestion was significantly better now.

Now that things had calmed, I decided to brave a potentially dicey topic. “Elle…?” I got a quiet moan as my reply, which was about what I’d expected. “I think I should take you to the nurse now.”

Just as I’d anticipated, this sent her reeling. Her eyes darted around like a fly trapped in a house and confused by the institution of windows. Trying to escape but not having the means or capability to actually do so. She scrambled shakily to her feet and looked around, panicked.

My immediate reaction was to reach for her and hold her close. Hers was to stagger backward, away from me, and lose her balance for the millionth time that day. She clutched the wall weakly in an attempt to steady herself. It didn't work.

Part of me was infuriated with her for still being so fucking irresponsible. This was exactly what I told her would happen. Why the hell doesn’t she listen?

“Jesus, Elizabeth.” She flinched at her full name. “What am I supposed to do? Ignore you and let you fall apart? Or drag your sorry ass to urgent care with you kicking and screaming the whole damn way? Like, honestly?! We’re going in fucking circles.”

“Please stop yelling at me.” Her voice sounded so helpless and afraid. She was doing everything in her power to keep herself from breaking down. At first, I thought she was just anxious, but it seemed like, in that moment, she was actually… scared of me. Her eyes were squeezed so tightly shut, like she was a turtle trying to withdraw her head into her shell. Except Elle’s always in her damn shell, even when there are people that care about her and want to help her.

She was right, though. Yelling at her wouldn’t do any good. I tried my best to make my voice sound calm and even again, but it was still shaking a bit with worry. “Elle. Let me take you to the nurse.”

“No. No, please. M’fine,” she slurred. Her voice was barely audible, which made it about as convincing as a weight loss commercial.

“Elle, you’re really tired and you’re really sick. You need to lay down and rest.” I put all my effort into looking way calmer than I felt. Because freaking out about how freakin pale she was or how little she seemed to weigh right now and how easy it would be for a small gust of wind to topple her right over… None of that was going to help either of us. “Please. Please let me take you to the nurse. I’m begging you.”

“Cal, I…” It seemed absurd to me that she was still trying to argue with me, especially since she couldn't even get more than two words out. Her pathetic attempt to wave me off of her felt like a kitten batting a fly. Actually, that was an insult to kittens, because kittens were way stronger. Though to be completely honest, she probably looked about as cute as a kitten would if it—okay, I’m rambling. I’m rambling in my own thoughts. Focus, Calix. Focus.

I watched her try to form a sentence, but her brain was too exhausted to provide the necessary mental faculties for that task, so she just stood there with a confused expression. She looked like an elderly woman with dementia, forgetting where she was and what she was doing. It was chilling.

“Alright. Nope. You don’t even get a say in the matter anymore.” I wrapped my arms back around her, eased her onto her feet, and steered her towards the nurse like a sheepdog herding… well… sheep. She didn’t provide much resistance.

Damnit. We needed to pass through the quad, and there wasn’t any covering to block us from the rain. “One sec.” I kept one arm wrapped around Elle and shook off my jacket with the other, then switched arms. Part of me yearned to keep the jacket on, considering that it was freezing, but I knew Elle needed it more. As I helped her put it on, I realized how warm she felt, even though it was objectively cold outside. That was not a good sign. Shit. I took a moment to collect myself, and then we continued on our way.

We’d barely made it to the middle of the quad when she stopped dead in her tracks.

“W-Wait…”

“Jesus, Elle. If you’re still going to try and argue about going to the nurse, it's not up for debate anymore.” My snappy remark distracted me from her almost unnoticeable head shaking. Gosh, she looked way too frail right then.

“No. I know. I just… Wait.” Her hands rose to her temples, clutching her skull. Did she have a migraine? Was this part of whatever was wrong with her?

I tried to soften my tone. “You okay? Does it hurt?” I felt freakin helpless. There wasn't really much for me to do.

She shook her head. “No, I just... I just got really dizzy all of a sudden and I feel like the floor’s sideways and I can't–... I just need a minute.”

After about thirty seconds of standing awkwardly in the quad with my arms wrapped around the essentially dying blonde, I decided to take action. “No, what you need is to lie down and rest. C’mon. I gotchu, okay? You’re okay. We’re almost there.”

I was practically carrying her at that point, considering how limp she’d become. Her head was burrowed into my chest. Under different circumstances, I would have found that adorable. But now, it just made the knot in my stomach even tighter.

I was really freakin’ grateful when we entered the hallway. I wasn’t a huge fan of the rain. Just as I placed my hand on the door to the nurse’s office, Elle stopped dead in her tracks and dug in her heels. “W-Wait, wait, wait. Stop.” She sounded weird. Was she wheezing? No. No, but her breathing sounded weird. Damnit. She was hyperventilating. Of course. Because now’s a great time for that. I mentally cursed myself for being so selfish. Even if it was for her own sake. I sighed and tried to figure out what was going on.

“Elle, why are you—”

“I can't. I can't go in.” Shit. This was not the right time for a fucking panic attack. For the love of God, if I could just get her inside…

She looked really scared, though. Or, panicked. I dunno. I don't know the right words for stuff like this. But she didn't look.. okay. To say the least.

“Elle, what are you talking about?”

“I-I can't. Look, Cal, I'm fine, I.. I don't need to go to the freakin nurse. Just let me go back to class, okay? I'm fine.”

“That’s such bullshit, Elle. You’re not fricken fine. You look like crap. I'm not arguing about this anymore. Just go inside.”

“No.” She sounded very adamant. “I'm sick of going to the nurse and being sick and being problematic and being taken care of. I'm not going to the nurse. I am fine. I need to go to class.”

My brow furrowed. “Who cares about being problematic right now? You’re not problematic, okay? I mean, you are.” She winced. “But like, not in a way you’d have to be sorry about.”

“I.. I can’t… I can’t...” She clutched her skull and clenched her eyes closed, her breathing way too rapid.

She had already seemed like she was gonna pass out, so this hyperventalation was bordering on fucking dangerous. “Elle. Deep breaths. Slow.” I wanted to hold her, but I didn’t want to make things worse. I just wanted to fucking help and I didn’t know how. “How can I help you? Elle?”

I could tell that she was trying to say something to me, but her panic attack or anxiety attack or whatever was making that impossible. “Here, um… Sit down, okay? Let’s sit down.” I offered her my hand to help her sit down, and she clutched it with both her hands. I tentatively eased closer to her, placing a hand gently on her back as I eased her onto the floor. I tried to take really slow, deep breaths, ‘cause I’d heard somewhere that if someone’s hyperventilating and someone near them is breathing slowly, it helps the anxious person stabilize their breath? Something like that. I wasn’t really sure, but it was worth a try.

She gradually started to calm down, her breathing becoming more even. When the adrenaline from the anxiety had ebbed, she started looking really worn out. It made it potentially easier to get her into the nurse’s office this way, but I still hated seeing her like this. Tears began to trace her cheeks from behind closed eyes. Something told me this was more than just some childish stubbornness. “Elle. What’s really going on?”

She took a shaky breath. “My parents… will be really mad… if I go to the nurse.”

That sentence did not compute for me. I recalled her saying something along those lines earlier, but I’d figured she was just deflecting. “Why would your parents have any problem with you taking care of yourself? If anything, I’d expect they’d be grateful.”

“No. They get really pissed when stuff like this happens. I’m not getting yelled at by them just ‘cause I let myself get sick.”

“You didn’t– I.. What!? You didn’t let yourself get sick. You got sick. It wasn’t your choice.” I paused for a moment as she broke into another bout of really wet coughs.

“You can always just choose to be fine. Will power. Motivation.” I knew she was attempting to joke, but I could also tell that there was a level of seriousness in that comment, and that scared me. That was way too much pressure for a parent to put on their child. Like… it was honestly ridiculous.

“Yeah, and look where that got you.” I sighed shakily, reminding myself not to let my intense fucking worrying manifest as anger. “Look. If you are sick–which you are–what do your parents want you to do? Stay at school until you feel so sick and miserable that you’ll be out for a week? They would probably prefer it if you go home.”

She shook her head wearily. “It means they’d have to do something about it, and they’re really busy. Like… if I go to the nurse right now, I know they’re gonna send me home. And one of my parents would have to take off work, and they’d get their pay docked, and I’d never hear the end of it.”

“That… doesn’t sound like it should be your problem. And it’s not like your family exactly has money problems.” I tried not to let my tone get cold. It wasn’t her fault that we have different… circumstances.

“Med school tuition… is a lot…”

“Student loans exist. Your sister can take some out. It’s not witchcraft.”

She had a pained expression on her face. I couldn’t tell if it was from my comment or her general malaise. “She worked really hard… M’ parents don’ want her t’ worry. She’s the ‘good child.’” Elle tried to do little finger air quotes, but in her current state, it just looked like some wacky hand and wrist movement. I wanted to laugh, but I held my tongue. Now probably wasn’t the best time to tease her.

It hit me just then how fucked her comment was. Elle literally worked harder than anyone I knew. How the hell was she not the “good child” in her family?

“What do your parents expect from you? Like, in what way are you letting them down? By not sprouting wings and flying or like… curing cancer or something?”

“My sister’ll prolly cure cancer,” she mumbled bitterly.

“Seriously, though. I don’t understand.”

She let out a controlled sigh. “I needa get a full ride. Or ’m screwed. And with my grades… that’s not gonna happen. So I can’t miss school. Can’t disappoint th’m. Can’t get fuckin’ detention. Can’t get sick. Can’t fuck up.” She was dropping some vowels and consonants—and honestly, some full-on words—here and there, which was mildly concerning. But not as concerning as her parents’ complete and total disregard for their child’s wellbeing. I mean, that was seriously messed up. But whatever. Obviously, they were no help. So, borderline child abuse aside, something needed to be done about Elle, whether her parents helped or not.

(TBC... 😌)

March 5, 2020

This is getting very interestingly good

March 5, 2020

I love where this is going omg!!!!

April 13, 2020

Oh this is soooo good!!!

April 22, 2020

Elle’s POV:

I felt like my head was inside a washing machine. A really mean washing machine on a really high setting, and with some underlying homicidal tendencies, it would seem.

“Elle. I think I can help you out, without getting your parents involved. But you have to trust me, okay?”

Help sounded nice. Parents not getting involved sounded even nicer. I didn’t think there was a feasible way of achieving that, but I was all out of fight. I gave a slight nod to indicate my compliance. “I trust you.” I peeled my eyes open and tried to get myself somewhat awake and alert as Cal helped me to my feet.

“Just follow my lead. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise.” He opened the door to the nurse’s office and my blood went cold. But I followed him. I trusted him.

Then, something perplexing happened. Cal doubled over coughing. I tightened my grip on his arm, concern gnawing at my stomach. It was that feeling you get when you’ve completely forgotten about an assignment, and you finally remember, but it was already due and there are no late admissions accepted. That icy, rude awakening that encapsulates you in guilt and anxiety and unrelenting remorse. Fuck. I shouldn’t have been anywhere near him. Fuck.

“Hey! We’re here to see the nurse. We’re really, really not feeling well.” He burst out in another bout of labored coughing, making a point of bending forward.

Oh my fricken gosh. This kid got me all bent out of shape over nothing. I’m gonna kick his ass for scaring me like that. As soon as I’m able to actually stand up and function like a human, that is.

The school nurse approached us. Apparently my condition was concerning enough to him that he took no notice of Calix’s sub-par acting skills. He led us to those really uncomfortable “beds” that look like those giant, blue, gym folding mats with a piece of crinkly doctor-ey paper over them. But given my current state, they sounded like the king bed of the Honeymoon Suite in a five star hotel. I gratefully crawled on top of it, and Calix made a bit of a show lying down on his, feigning some sort of brand new pain in his left elbow.

“Um, Elizabeth does seem like she should definitely go home, but Calix… I think you should be okay to return to class?” the nurse offered hesitantly, not comfortable openly calling Cal’s bluff.

Cal noticed the nurse’s reluctance and doubled down, committing fully to the bit. “Noooo… I feel really lousy. I need to go homeeee.” Evidently he’d forgotten which arm he’d fake-injured, as he was now clutching his right elbow gingerly.

The nurse looked uneasily between the two of us. “I can, um, check your temperatures?”

“Yeeessss! Please do that! I think I have a feeever.” He rested the back of his hand against his forehead melodramatically and let out another small cough.

I concealed an amused smirk. Gosh, he was such a dork.

The nurse proceeded to check our temperatures. It was a process I found annoying. I always felt like the thermometer was gonna drop out of my mouth. I was relieved when I heard the beeping sound emit from the infernal device and it was removed from my mouth.

“102.7.”

And gee golly, how quickly that relief can fade. My stomach folded over into knots. One glance at Cal told me his was doing the same.

“You’re gonna need to call a parent to come pick you up.”

Calix chimed in before I had the chance to fret over that comment. “Sh’ urrudy did.”

“Please don’t talk while you have the thermometer in your mouth.”

“Surry.”

I gave a small smirk. His ridiculous hijinks were the one thing calming me down at this point. His thermometer finally went off, freeing him from his scheduled silence.

“99.6. That’s technically not high enough to send you home, but it is a low grade fever.” Calix dropped his act for a second and looked earnestly at the nurse.

“I have a fever?!”

The nurse sighed. “A low grade fever. Meaning... it’s not a fever. So, technically–”

“Huh’eshhiuh!” Oh my gosh. That was ridiculously lucky timing on his part. He shot me a wide grin before returning his attention to the nurse, milking the sneeze for all it was worth. Calix always sneezed at least three times, so I knew he was going to make a big show out of this.

“Bless you. I–”

Cal held up a finger, silencing the room so they could behold his magnificent pre-sneeze expression. To be honest, though, he had one of the most ridiculous pre-sneezes faces I’d ever seen. And it always lasted an absurdly long time. He was like a buffering video. I dunno why, but I always found that weirdly cute about him.

His jaw dropped open, his eyelids batting open and closed like horizontal windshield wipers. I hadn’t realized before how long his eyelashes were. They definitely added to the dramatic effect.

“Huuuh…. Huaaaaah…!” He was making the build-up way louder and breathier than it needed to be. His nostrils were flaring wildly, like a frilled lizard unfurling its neck ruffles to scare away a predator. “Huah’ESHHiuh!” He began fanning his face with his hand in preparation for the third and final sneeze.

“Heh… H-Heih…! I’m gonna snee… heeeeeih… HEH! Heh’EIKSHH’iuhh!” He lay relatively dormant on the bed after that, clearly very proud of his performance.

The nurse looked agitated, but also too apprehensive to provide any more resistance. “Okay. If you really think you need to go home, you can. Just call your parents, and–”

“Already taken care of!” The nurse gave him a skeptical glance. “Well, I texted my mom instead of calling. But she should be here any minute now! Same with Elle’s mom.” He offered a goofy grin to compensate for the fact that he’d asked his mother to pick him up before getting permission to actually leave.

Apparently, the nurse had gotten as much Calix intake as he could handle for the day, because he started heading for the door. He hesitated before exiting, giving one more glance toward me. “Your fever is pretty high. Stay home until you’ve been fever-free for 24 hours. If it doesn’t drop soon or if it gets any higher, you should really go to urgent care or the emergency room.” And with that, he was gone, leaving us with that unsettling bit of information.

“Elle…” I refused to look at him. I knew he was staring at me with big, worried eyes, and I couldn’t handle that.

“I know, I know… I’m sorry.” I felt tears bead against my eyelids, but I willed them away.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He came over and put a hand on my shoulder, then recoiled. “You’re way too warm. Shit,” he mumbled, half to himself. “Mister Nurse Man Person! Mister Nurse Man Person, can you bring some ice packs for Elle, please?” I flinched at his volume, as it exacerbated my headache a bit. He seemed to have taken notice of this, as his next statement was at a far more reasonable volume. “Thank you.”

Whoa. I hadn’t even heard the nurse reenter, but I felt the jarring sensation of a sudden cold presence, which I presumed to be the ice packs. That was trippy. Okay, I was probably a little out of it.

“You know, you really seem like you’re doing alright,” the nurse noted skeptically to Calix, his almond eyes narrowed slightly.

I felt Calix tense next to me, probably about to reassume his ruse. I thought I saw a streak of orange blur past my field of vision. I blinked in confusion, then lost interest and let my heavy eyelids fall back closed.

“H-Huuuh… Uhhh..! Huah…! HUH! Huh’EIIKshuu.”

Fuck. Fuck. He was sneezing again. That didn’t make any sense. Alrighty. That woke me up. I scrambled upward a bit, my eyes flying open to find Calix cupping his hands around his mouth and nose. I blessed him quietly, not knowing what else to do. Fuck. If he had caught whatever I had, I think I would shrivel up and die from guilt overload.

“I spoke with your sixth period teacher. They said you left and never checked in with them.”

“Yeah, I was hh-.. huh’AHKschuu! ...worried about Elle, so–”

“Then, I was informed that you both have detention today.”

My heart sank into my stomach. Detention. I had completely forgotten about that. Gosh dangit. I gripped Cal’s hand, trying really hard not to hyperventilate. His thumb rubbed back and forth against my hand, which was surprisingly comforting. This felt like a really bad situation and everything in my brain was telling me to freak the hell out, but Cal had asked me to trust him. And I did. I trusted him.

I heard Cal sigh beside me. “...Yeah.”

“I’m used to kids trying to get out of school, but I don’t feel comfortable helping you get out of detention if you’re not really sick.”

“Look. I get where you’re coming from. But Elle really, really needs tih… h-hih… huh’AHKschiiew! ..to go home. I mean, look at her!”

I started spacing out, the conversation turning to a dull roar in the back of my awareness. That is, until Calix started sneezing. Again. Fuck.

“Hih’ihtshhii, isshiuh, IHksh’iuh.” He pitched forward in a rapid fit. His sneezes were a lot less exaggerated and cartooney, which put a pit in my stomach. “IHKshhiieh. Hih’ISHH’ieh!” Even though he had dialed down the theatrics, there was still a palpable desperation to his sneezes. His face was in a permanent pre-sneeze expression, which would have been hilarious if it wasn’t scaring the crap out of me. He had been totally fine just a second ago, though. I didn’t understand how it had escalated so quickly.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, trying to focus my vision. I saw his hands cupped to his face again, but I noticed something else as well. The little orange blur. He was holding something between his thumb and pointer finger. I couldn’t quite make it out, but it looked like a tiny flower. Which he was sticking up his nose. Are you kidding me?!

The nurse looked around nervously, not sure exactly what the protocol was for this situation. So, with all of his experience and expertise, he decided to stand there and do nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, the flawless American education system.

“Can you please just let us go home?” I pleaded. Ow. I’d said that a bit louder than my throat could handle, so it came out really scratchy and hoarse, which hurt more than I expected it to.

“I… Technically, I don’t think I’m supposed to say yes. But I suppose since he’s been exposed to you for a while now, and he’s already developing a slight fever… That should qualify for him to be excused, even with the detention.”

“C-Can we gih.. H-hihh..! Heh’EHKschuu.” He remained frozen in his pre-sneeze expression. The sneeze was apparently stuck. He started waving his hand in front of his face again, but it didn’t help. He ducked to the side, cupping his hands around his mouth. That was odd. It’s like he was reacting to the sneeze before it even came.

Suddenly, his fit seemed to return in full force. “HUAH, H’Huah…! Hihktschuuu! Ha’AHKshuu.”

“Bless y–”

“H-hihh… Hih’EHKschiuu!” That was odd. He usually only sneezed three times. “Eik’TShhiew! H-Huh.. Heh’tshhieu. Heh’tsshhiew.” Goddamnit. I was willing to bet money that he’d used that stupid flower again. I glanced at his hands and, sure enough, I found the orange culprit scrunched in his palm.

“Can we go home, then?” I asked, finishing Cal’s question for him.

“Eh’tksshiuh.” Cal let out one last sneeze, as if to punctuate our line of questioning. It seemed to do the trick though, because the nurse allowed us to leave. Needless to say, we did so before he could find another reason to object.

(T.B.C. )

April 23, 2020

This is TOO good!!! THANK YOU!!

April 23, 2020

SO. DANG. GOOD.

April 26, 2020

Oml what a beautiful part! Absolutely loved it! Especially Cals sneezes ❤️

May 4, 2020

(Next update! Enjoy!)

Cal’s POV:

Alrighty then. Mental note: flowers are evil. Sticking them up your nose? Bad idea. Ten out of ten, would not recommend to a friend. Nopity nope.

When we got back outside, I paused for a moment, waiting for the fit to pass. My nose was still really itchy from the flower, and I didn’t wanna sneeze while helping Elle walk and accidentally run into something. I kept one hand on Elle to keep her upright, and ducked my head into the opposite elbow each time a sneeze emerged.

“Hih…! H-hihh… Hih’EHKschiuu! Huh’EHKschiu! ESHH’iuhh.”

“Cal, what the heck?”

I turned around, genuinely puzzled by her protest. “What?”

“You stuck a flower up your nose!”

“Yeah, that wasn’t my bih… h-hih…! hih’ISShhu! -best idea,” I admitted. “But hey, it did the job!”

“You could have hurt yourself. You’re obviously really allergic.”

“I am not. I’m somewhat allergic and I reacted the same way anyone would to being attacked by an evil, bloodthirsty flower.”

“You sounded sicker than I did.”

“Really, Miss 102.7 Degree Fever?”

“Okay, we knew I had a fever, we didn’t know you had one! Since when are you sick?!”

“I’m not! I dunno why I have a slight fever, but it’s nothing, really. I honestly think I was just really worried about you and freaked out, and that made my body heat up or something. That, or I’m just,” I paused to flip my hair dramatically, “ridiculously hot.” She rolled her eyes and smacked me weakly. That honestly warmed my heart a bit, seeing her act like herself again. Even if it was just for a moment.

She didn’t seem to believe me, but she dropped it.

“Okay. Just wait here on this bench for a few minutes. I’m gonna go get your stuff, alright?” I tried to ease her onto said bench, but she resisted.

“But... it’s in the locker room.”

“Yes.”

“The girls’ locker room.”

“I’m aware.”

“So you can’t go in!”

“Normally, I wouldn’t dream of it. But no one’s in there right now and you really shouldn’t be walking around more than you need to be, especially in the rain. What’s your locker number and combo?”

She weighed her options for a moment before giving in. “17-8-4. Locker 113.”

“Thank youuu.” I eased her onto the bench before dashing off to fetch our things.

Elle still had my jacket, so I got another nice freezing cold shower on my way to the locker room. I then managed to get everything in my locker drenched in the process of changing into my regular clothes. My regular clothes were still way drier than my gym clothes though, so that was good. I wrung out my gym clothes before stuffing them in my designated “gym bag,” which was just a plastic grocery bag I’d repurposed. I felt weirdly cold during the process of changing my clothes. It was probably just that I was soaked in ridiculously cold rain water, but it felt particularly bothersome for some reason.

“Boy entering! Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!” I figured that outdated reference should be enough to warn any random person who happened to be loitering in the locker room of my presence.

I averted my gaze as I entered, trying to make sure I didn’t see anything I shouldn’t. But, as I’d expected, it was empty. I located her locker and collected her things. She’d worn her regular clothes over her gym clothes, so I really just needed to grab her backpack. I slung one backpack over each shoulder before heading back to the front of the school.

I found her lying down on the bench, shivering. Yikes. I’d figured the cold air would help with the ridiculously high fever, but I didn’t really know much about fevers or how to help with stuff like this, so I might have just made it worse. Whatever. She’d be in the car soon, and I’d warm her up. Or cool her down. I hadn’t the slightest idea what I needed to do, but I’d figure it out, and then do that. One thing at a time.

She looked absolutely miserable and scarily fragile. She had beads of sweat lining her forehead, yet she was shivering profusely. A bout of coughing crept up on her and took over her body, causing her breaths to become shallow and strained. I opened my mouth to say something, but she broke off sneezing before I could.

“Hih’ESHhiew. H-Huah… Huh’AHKschiew.”

“Elle...” I tried to be relatively quiet so she wouldn’t get startled. As soon as she heard my voice, she suddenly perked up. I thought it was just because she was excited to get into the car and out of the cold air, but I realized she was trying to mask how sick she was. Good grief. As if I didn’t already know by this point? It was sweet that she didn’t want me to worry, but it also meant she wasn’t fully relaxing around me and that she was still trying to keep up a facade. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

She tried to greet me, but just ended up coughing again. Shit. Okay. Being frustrated with Elle was definitely not the way to go. I rubbed her back in small circles until it subsided.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I greeted softly with synthetic cheer, helping her to her feet. She moaned softly but complied, and I began leading her to the car. I felt her slide under my left arm, her right arm wrapping around my back. I knew that she was just resuming her previous position from earlier, but I found it oddly cute for some reason.

She scanned the parking lot in confusion before looking up at me. “Where’s your mom?”

I immediately laughed, ruffling her hair as gently as possible, while still providing comedic effect. “Awww, you’re adorable. No, my dear. I will be your escort today.” I mimed a bow with my arm, since actually bowing would require movement from Elle too, which was not ideal.

She processed this bit of information, a puzzled look on her face. “Oh.” After about thirty more seconds of walking, it seemed to click for her. “Oh!” she gasped, looking up at me. “You didn’t text your mom!”

I smirked. “Is that an accusation?”

She paused, pondering the nature of her line of questioning. “Yes.” She seemed proud of herself for coming to this conclusion, as made evident by her small, cheeky grin. I was willing to go out on a limb and say that Elle was drifting into the loopy stage of her fever. But it was quite entertaining and a whole lot better than the anxiety/confusion stage, so I was all for it.

“Will she be mad?”

This question took me by surprise. “My mom? Mad about what?”

“That y’ left early… but y’aren’t sick.” Huh. I hadn’t really thought about that. I mean, she probably wouldn’t be thrilled, but if I explained the situation, I’m sure she’d be on board. And I was thinking it might be a good idea to pretend to be sick as well, hence the procurement of the flower. Assuming Elle would be coming back to my place–because who the hell would take care of her at her place!?–it would be best to stay home with her and make sure she’s okay. I knew that sounded really extra, but if you thought about it, it honestly didn’t. I mean, she had a fever of nearly 103°F, and it could easily spike and get really fucking dangerous. It was already pretty fucking dangerous! She needed someone to look out for her. Besides, if I were at school without her, knowing how miserable she felt, I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else, let alone learn school bullshit. And if my parents thought I was already sick, they wouldn’t worry about my being exposed to Elle. Foolproof plan. Awesome. And if they doubted me, I could just whip out the flower again.

“Cal?” I had spaced out a bit whilst concocting that plan, and I hadn’t realized that we’d already walked all the way to the car. I also left Elle hanging without an answer for a while, which seemed to worry her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble.”

“No! No, sorry, I just spaced out. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Worst case scenario, I’ll just say I’m sick too.” I helped her into the passenger seat and buckled her seatbelt for her, just in case she forgot to do it. Last thing I needed was Elle flying through the windshield when I stopped at a red light. Not that that would ever, or could ever, happen at a red light. I mean, it could happen at a red light, but probably not because of the red light. Okay, whatever.

Once Elle was securely situated, I got into the driver’s seat and began the journey home. We sat in silence for a number of minutes before Elle spoke up.

“What if you are?”

Okay, I was totally lost. I knew that she was responding to something I had said earlier, but that whole conversation was a bit of a blur for me. “What if I’m what?”

“Sick.” She looked so worried and spooked. I honestly thought she might cry.

This likely wasn’t the best way for me to react, but I burst out laughing.

“Cal, I’m serious!” Okay, now she actually was crying. I knew I’d probably be more comforting if I wasn’t busting up laughing, but the irony of this situation was insane.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I just… This is really funny.”

“How on earth is it funny?”

“Are you kidding? I spent the past two days doing everything in my power to keep you from keeling over dead, while you fought me every step of the way, and now you’re reduced to tears by the very idea of me being sick?”

She cracked a small smile, but was still crying, so it turned into a sort of weird laugh-cry-combo. “Okay, but I also have a fever and I feel like shit and I’m emotional and the idea of you feeling a fraction of this makes me want to...”

“Cry?” I prompted. Apparently, I guessed correctly, because she started crying way harder. “Awww, come here. It’s okay.” I rubbed her arm, trying to console her as much as I could manage while driving. “I’m not sick, okay? Look at me! I’m fine!”

Aw crap. My nose was tickling again. I still had the dumb flower in my pocket, in case I needed it later. Not like I would casually need it in my day-to-day life, like, ‘Oh, let’s just feel miserable for a hot second. Okay, cool. Great.’ But like, if I needed to convince my parents I was sick so I could stay and take care of Elle. Assuming they wouldn’t just let me anyway. I wasn’t sure. Good to have options, though!

Unfortunately, those options were biting me in the ass. I fixed my pointer finger under my nose, trying to be inconspicuous about it. There were two potential problems with this. One, if I sneezed while driving, we could potentially get in an accident. Two, if I sneeze right after saying that I’m not getting sick, Elle would probably freak out, and I really didn’t need her riled up right now. I also didn’t need her avoiding me to not get me sick and finding a desolate corner of the world to curl up in, like a dying cat. Really, any reaction would be counterproductive. Especially since it would be unfounded, as the only reason I had to sneeze was the damn flower that I stupidly brought with me.

I tried to hold it back as quietly as humanly possible, hoping Elle wouldn’t notice. I only had a few minutes left in the drive home. We were already pretty close. A few more minutes, and then I’d be fine.

“Wait. Are we going to your house?” Damn. I forgot that I hadn’t briefed her on my plan. I’d be more than willing to fill her in, if my nose weren’t a ticking time bomb.

“Uhm. Y-Yeah. So your pa.. parents won’t know you’re sick.” Oof. Slight slip up, but mostly successful. Operation Incognito was going well.

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.”

I started rubbing the bottom of my nose back and forth to calm it down, but it had the opposite effect. The hitching of my breath was getting more erratic. It would be hard to keep this hidden if I didn’t at least let one out. Besides, my eyelids were starting to flutter shut, which would inevitably hinder my driving. Damnit. Okay, one really tiny sneeze, and then I was done.

“Hh…! Hh’nxh.” I sneezed nearly inaudibly, which I found pretty impressive. And my eyes were only closed for a few seconds, so there was minimal risk.

“Wait…” Oh, gosh, Elle. No more questions! Not ‘til we get out of the car! Gah. “Wouldn’t they know I’m sick when I go back home tonight?”

That was a good point. Except, I had been planning on just having her stay with me. I didn’t know how to phrase that so it wouldn’t sound like I was kidnapping her and keeping her hostage in my home. Or like I was some overly worried friend who had no sense of boundaries. Well, shit, okay, the second one was kind of true. But not really! It’s just that no one was gonna take care of her at her house. She deserved to be treated right, and if no one else was gonna do it, I would. Also, it wasn’t easy to calculate a good response to that question while trying really freakin’ hard not to sneeze and crash the car and die. And my nose was writhing with the next sneeze, ready to come and ruin my day.

“I was thinking, if you d-don’t feel cuh… c-comfortable going home, you could crash at my plah…! Hh–!” Fuck. I’d gotten through 90% of that sentence. That was just unfair.

“Cal?” I resisted the urge to glance at her. Showing her more of my face would noooot help this situation right now.

“H-Hhh.. Hmm?” Niiiice! Cleverly masking the buildups, like a true master. Master of what? Who knows. But a master nonetheless.

“Are you okay?” Worry crept into her voice.

“Y-Yeah! Don’t wuh.. worry abouh ihh..” That… sounded vaguely correct. Passable. I’d give it a solid C. “Hh-ngk’iuh.” That tiny little gasp exhale thing at the end might be the death of me. I mean, in a more literal sense, the whole sneeze could have been the death of me, but I was counting my blessings that the street was relatively empty.

“What just happened?” Hmm. She was onto me. That wasn’t great.

“N-Nothing happened. You’re probably just a l-lih… little out of ih.. h-hih’ISHHieh!” FUCK.

I quickly corrected the steering wheel after my unintentional sneeze-induced-swerve.

“B-Bless you. …Cal?” She sounded afraid to speak up, which broke my heart. I could tell she didn’t wanna upset me, which was sweet and unnecessary. I was just trying not to worry her. If that was still possible.

“I’m okih.. Hih’ihksshh’iah! Hhkschiew!“

"Cal. I’m scared.” Okay, this was bad. This was definitely bad. I wanted to pull over, but I genuinely didn’t know if veering to the side of the road would be more or less dangerous right now.

“It’s okah.. h-heh’tksshiew, ISHHiew! Hihk’TSHhiew” Shit shit shit shit… I tried to pull to the side, but I sneezed as I was doing so. I didn’t see exactly what happened, but we somehow ended up on the curb. Kind of. Well, the front wheels got onto the curb a bit. In a low key, non-stressful, nothing-to-worry-about kind of way. I think.

“Elle. Elle, are you okay? ...Eik’TShhiew!”

“Y-Yeah.” She looked absolutely terrified, but unharmed from what I could see. “…Are you?”

That was a valid question. “Yeah. I just.. need to get the wheels off the curb. Um. Do you think you would be okay to stand for a minute?”

“I think so. Why?”

“I need to make the car more,” I cleared my throat for dramatic/minor comedic effect, “level. So I was thinking it might be better if you get out really quick so you don’t get shaken around again. Is that okay?”

She nodded, her expression relatively blank and empty. I got out of the car—careful not to move it too much in the process—and went around to help Elle get out. She seemed a bit anxious. But I knew she was actually way more anxious than she was letting on. I hated being the reason for her being upset. But one problem at a time. I needed to fix the car. I also made sure to get rid of the freakin flowers while I was outside. I’d have to figure out another plan to convince my parents, because my current one was putting Elle and myself in danger.

I felt uneasy leaving her standing on the sidewalk, given that she had the physical dexterity of a pistachio, but it was the lesser of two evils. I paused for a moment, trying to make sure I’d gotten all the pesky sneezes out. Even with the flowers out of the car, the pollen was still lingering in my sinuses. I scrubbed the rim of my nose with my knuckle in a failed attempt to free myself from this infernal itchy feeling.

With my fingers clenching my nose shut, I gradually put the car in reverse, frequently checking if there were any oncoming cars. The universe was apparently doing my bidding, though, because the street was still empty.

Ah! Spoke too soon. A whir of beige manifested in the rearview window as a small Toyota Camry made its way around the corner.

I tried to pull to the side, but I had a limited window of opportunity.

“hhH’isshiew!” Shit.

May 4, 2020

This is amazing! I love the way you’ve developed the story and the characters! Perfection as always 💗

May 22, 2020

(Thank you so much for all of the kind and supportive feedback! It means the world to me, honestly. Here's a small update with some Elle delirium lol. Enjoy!)

Elle’s POV:

My mind couldn’t make sense of what was happening. I tried to make a list of events in my head, even if they weren’t in chronological order, but everything seemed to swim around in my memory like mixed paint. Eventually, they just formed one musky shade of taupe and the individual colors were no longer distinguishable. Alright, focus on what’s happening now. Look. Process.

Uh.. I saw Calix and… someone. I couldn’t figure out who the other person was. I’ll just call them Stan, because… they’re standing.

Okay, Calix and Stan are talking, maybe floating? Wait, that’s either a pen or a knife. Two very different scenarios at play there… Okay. Okay, they seem like they’re being friendly. Most likely a pen. Which would make the other thing paper, and not a flat bird. I suppose that made a bit more sense. It was possible that I was hallucinating a bit.

Someone turned and started coming at me. I hadn’t totally ruled out the possibility of the knife, so this could be potentially dangerous. Shit.

I scrambled backward instinctively, but my movements were delayed. By the time my body registered what I was telling it to do and actually moved, the other person had already reached me and was gripping my arm. My face was wet. What were they spraying on me? This didn’t make any sense. My cheeks felt notably damp. I brought my hand up to my face to try to ascertain what was happening, but the person pulled it away. Why?

AGH! They pulled me in closer. I was way too weak to get away. If this person had any malicious intent, there was nothing I could do to stop them. They had their arms wrapped around me, as if they were a boa constrictor trying to suffocate me.

“Elle.” They knew my name. How? Had I said it before? Did they hear it from someone else?

“Don’t hurt me...” The person looked confused.

“Elle, it’s me. I… I’m not gonna hurt you.”

I blinked hard a couple of times, trying to clear my head so I could see clearly. But all it ended up doing was disorient me more.

“Who…” I had intended that to be the beginning of a question, rather than a stand-alone monosyllabic utterance, but it would seem that that word was all I could manage to say at the moment.

“It’s Calix. It’s me, Cal.”

Calix… Calix. Yes. Car. Driving. Crash. It was starting to come back to me. The intermingled colors were starting to separate.

“Yeah, we were in the car, and yes, it did crash, kind of...”

Hm. It would appear I had been saying some of my thoughts out loud, given that he was responding to them. That, or he could read minds. It was about a 50/50 shot.

“Here, let’s get back in the car, okay?” I recoiled from his touch, my breathing becoming more shallow.

“Crash…”

“It’s okay. We’re not gonna crash again. I promise.”

How could he promise that? How did he know? “But you’re sick?”

“No, Elle. You’re sick.”

I was taken aback. This felt like a “No, Luke. I am your father,” type moment. But, if I was sick, that would explain why everything was so incredibly confusing and frightening. Okay. This might be valid. The story checked out so far.

“Gosh, you really don’t look good.” WHOA. The world moved around me. Or maybe I moved. Whichever made more sense. Either way, I was looking up at the sky now. And I was moving. I felt some sort of figure next to me. It had appendages that were wrapped around me or holding me or something. It was a rather comforting sensation, so I didn’t fight it. Next thing I knew, I was placed down on a sleek material and there was a brief whoosh of air next to me. Soon after, there was a general sensation of moving. All things considered, I might be in a car.

May 29, 2020

Every update makes this story better in better! You are such a talented writer @v a n i l l a 💗 I can’t wait to see where this story goes— no doubt it will be amazing

June 8, 2020

On 5/28/2020 at 10:07 PM, castiel_angel said:

Every update makes this story better in better! You are such a talented writer @v a n i l l a 💗 I can’t wait to see where this story goes— no doubt it will be amazing

(Awww, thank you, castiel_angel! That seriously means the world to me. ❤️ You're so sweet.)

Cal’s POV:

I pulled up to my house. Thankfully, my parents weren’t back from work, so I didn’t have to tackle that issue yet. I tossed both backpacks over one shoulder and went around to help Elle out, having her rest all her weight on me. She felt like a radiator. Geez. Her fever seemed higher than before, if that was even possible. It made sense, though. She got absurdly delirious after I got in that small crash. She didn’t even seem to recognize me for part of it. This whole day has been scary, but that was by far the most terrifying part. I needed to figure out a game plan. But first, I needed to get this steaming pile of blonde out of the elements and into my house. Good god, this was a weird day.

I brought her to my room and had her lie down on my bed. That is, after I layed a couple of towels on top of my bed. I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable later if the bed got damp, so this seemed like a good fix.

She appeared to be in a half-conscious, half-asleep state. It worried me, but I knew she desperately needed to rest. Plus, this way she couldn’t object to my taking care of her. Also, Elle would be very proud of me for using the word “my” instead of “me.” I forget why, but that’s apparently the right way to say it. I’d heard Elle correct me enough times for it to get stuck in my head like an obnoxious commercial jingle. Gosh. I’d give anything to have Elle be back to her normal annoying self. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss those kinds of things.

Okay, whoa. Collect yourself, Cal. She wasn’t dead. She was sick. Big difference. Honestly, she’d probably be back to her normal self in about a week. Probably. Right…?

I got a couple ice packs out of my freezer and put them on her neck and arms, as well as a damp, cool washcloth on her forehead. I bustled around my kitchen looking for anything that might help, while simultaneously googling how to lower a fever. I ended up collecting some tissue boxes, a thermometer, cough drops, Vasoline, extra towels and washcloths, Vicks vapo-rub, and a variety of cold, cough, and fever meds —which I would have to sort through before giving her anything. I proudly brought my stockpile of supplies into my room like they were spoils from a successful battle.

She was still shivering incessantly, which sent a pang of anxiety and sorrow through me. Okay, it would probably be best to get her into dry clothes. Obviously, nothing she had would suffice, so I guess I could just lend her some. But she was in no state to dress or, more importantly, undress herself. I felt wary about proceeding. I really didn’t want to cross any boundaries. I didn’t know how to help without overstepping.

I swallowed uncertainly and decided to proceed in whatever way would be most beneficial for Elle in the long run. I figured I should probably check her temperature first. If it was already dropping, there may not be a need for drastic measures.

I knelt beside her and stuck the thermometer in her mouth. I held it upright so she wouldn’t choke on it if she coughed or something. We were in the clear for a decent stretch of time. That is, until she assumed a troubling expression. That “or something” was about to rear its ugly head and bite me in the–

“H-huh… hah…!” Her enervated face contorted, her chapped, arid nose wriggling with impatient proclivity. I instinctively brought my free hand up to her nose, fastening my forefinger underneath the burning appendage. I felt like I was wrestling a tiny yet determined alligator.

“H-Huh…! Huuuuh!” Her gasps were so delicate yet ravenous. I didn’t know how such a paradoxical buildup could exist. It was like someone was playing a suspenseful, dramatic song to build tension in a horror movie, but they chose to play it on the world’s most fragile – yet surprisingly loud – violin.

“Uuuuhh… HuuUUHHhh…! UuuuUUH!” Her moans became louder and more erratic, her body convulsing and jostling in accordance with each heaving breath.

Simply pressing my finger under her nose wasn’t doing the trick, so I decided to pinch her nose shut instead. She was breathing through her mouth anyway, so it didn’t inhibit that process at all. I just needed to keep that stupid thermometer in her mouth for another minute or so. Or another five seconds. I had no idea how long these things took to work.

I probably looked ridiculous, hovering above this deathly ill girl, one hand clenching her nose shut and the other holding the thermometer in her mouth, my face inches away from hers.

“Hhhnnx’tch! Hmp’mngxxshh!” Even with her nose pinched closed, her sneezes managed to escape in the form of forceful, wet half-stifles. I felt a fine yet powerful mist hit my face with each one, but I managed to keep the thermometer in place, so that felt like a victory to me.

Finally, the device beeped. I never thought I’d be so relieved to hear incessant, obnoxious beeping chimes unless they were the bell signaling the end of the school day.

I withdrew the thermometer and looked at it, my stomach tying itself in a knot like a maraschino cherry stem. 103.2°F. It hadn’t been very long, yet her temperature had already increased by .5 degrees. I felt my heart sink down to my feet, like I was on an amusement park ride with a free-fall drop and I was waiting for it to come to a stop.

“EhkKSHH’iuh! Huh’MMKtschh’ieh!” Shit. I was so distracted by her temperature, I had completely forgotten that I was pinching Elle’s nose shut. I instinctively released.

“Hih.. Heh’EHKschhiew! EHKKschiew! Heh’EIIschhooouh!” In my shining moment of unparalleled genius, I forgot to move out of the way. And so, there I sat, my face mere inches away from hers, each sneeze blasting into me like a tidal wave. Jesus. For such a small girl, her colds were full-on tropical depressions. I felt the spray on my cheeks, which evoked a strange, tingly sensation in me that I desperately tried to ignore.

“Heeih… HEH! HEH’EHKschhieew! EISschhoo! Hih’TSHHieew!” My gosh, I was like a toddler who kept putting his hands on the stove and kept getting surprised when he got burned. I finally remembered how to move and got out of the splash zone. However, seeing her lying there, convulsing with violent sneezes, my heart started to hurt. That sounds ridiculously cartoony and overly sentimental, but it was true. It hurt.

I plucked a tissue from the box and held it to her nose and mouth, then wrapped my free arm around her to keep her from jostling around so much. She melted into my embrace while my heart beat out of my chest, her tranquility and my panic perfectly juxtaposed. The fit seemed to be winding down. I felt bad for having made her hold back, since that obviously made the fit much larger than it would have been otherwise.

“Heeh… Hih’EIGKkkshuu! EIHSHHieew!” Her fierce, wet sneezes soaked through the tissue and sprayed my hand, but I honestly didn’t mind at all. I rubbed her back comfortingly and waited for this fit to pass.

I’d forgotten how long her sneezing fits could last. It was honestly impressive for such a petite human to unleash such a vigorous volley of sneezes. It seemed to be winding down now, though.

“Hhh.. hih’ksshuu.” One final, delicate sneeze spilled out of her before the fit finally passed. Her limp frame remained flopped in my arms, her skin distinctly warm against mine.

Alright, with her fever this high, the best thing to do would be to change her into loose, thin, dry clothing. At least, according to Web.md, which I may or may not have spent a decent chunk of time panickedly scouring. Actually, the best thing to do would be to take her to urgent care or to call 911, considering she’s looked like absolute shit. But I’d promised her I wouldn’t get her parents involved, which would inevitably happen if I did either of those things. So, much like Taylor Doose in Gilmore Girls, dry clothes won by default.

I carefully removed the soggy clothes, averting my gaze from anything I should maybe not see. Even so, this felt like a huge violation of privacy, and my stomach was doing somersaults.

“Cal…?”

Oh, thank god. It lives. And speaks. However, it also caught me at a very inopportune time.

“YOU WERE WEARING WET CLOTHES AND I WAS WORRIED SO I TRIED TO FIX IT BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO OVERSTEP OR MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE SO I DIDN’T LOOK; I SAW NOTHING, I SWEAR. Also, good morning.” It was definitively still afternoon, but good morning still seemed like the appropriate greeting.

Elle flinched, which made me feel incredibly shitty and guilty. Until I realized it was because of my volume, not what I said. That made sense. Too loud. Duly noted.

“Cal, ‘ts okay. You’re okay.” She was laughing. It was faint and quiet, but she was laughing. God, I’d missed that sound.

“I’m… still afraid to look.”

“Ts’okay. Can y’ hand me someth’n t’ wear?” There were more letters missing from that sentence than teeth from a Medieval person’s mouth, but I got the gist. I complied, handing her a pair of particularly comfy – yet very light – pajama-esque pants and an oversized t-shirt. I faced the wall until she gave a small grunt to indicate that she was done changing.

She crumpled into the bed, her body flopping like a ragdoll. That was actually slightly impressive, since that was a pretty stiff, shitty mattress that never seemed to have any give or anything.

“I’m sorry.” Fuck. Why was she sad again? I needed a goddamn GPS to help me navigate through this fever-delirium turbulence.

“Why? Elle, you’re okay.” I didn’t even know if she was processing what I was saying, but I still needed to try.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”

“Elle, calm down.” Normally, she’d smack me for telling her to calm down. Now, it actually seemed to help, which was a bit unnerving. “What’s wrong? I… How can I help? Please. I want to help.”

“I just… I don’t wanna lose you.”

I looked at her, bewildered. “You’re not gonna lose me, Elle.” She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut in a way that seemed really painful. I hated when she did that. It was the same gorilla-crushing-a-melon eye scrunch from before. “Hey. Hey. Look at me. You’re not gonna lose me, okay? Never.”

“Please don’t leave me…” I wasn’t sure if she was fully conscious of everything happening around her at the moment, or if she was able to process what I was saying to her. To be fair, we’d had a number of circular conversations today. It would explain a lot. “Nolan left me…” My blood boiled at the mention of that name. He was such an absolute dick. And he’d treated Elle like shit. “H’ yelled at me. Told me… get m’ shit t’gether.”

She was starting to omit her vowels again, which made her statements a bit more challenging to follow. I couldn’t tell if she was recalling something from a while back or something recent. “When? When did he say that?”

“Shouldn't've gone t’ school t’day.”

Again, not really a direct response, but slightly helpful in piecing together the puzzle. “Did you see him today?” She didn’t respond, and instead started shaking and silently sobbing. Which I suppose was my answer. I swear, I’m not a violent person, but if I saw that kid right now, I’d smack him between the eyes. Damn. No wonder Elle was so shaken up earlier. Which made me an even bigger dick for yelling at her after he’d already yelled at her. Damnit.

“Cal.” Her warm hand gently clutched mine, and I realized I’d been digging my nails into my palm. Alright. Gonna stop doing that now.

“I’m gonna get you another cold washcloth,” I informed her, not knowing how else to help. As I got up, her hand gripped mine a bit stronger. I mean, it was still incredibly wea, but it was probably using her maximum available effort.

“Don’t leave.” If anyone heard a loud shattering sound, that was my heart fricken breaking. She looked so helpless and delicate lying there, and so scared and confused.

“I’m… I’m not. I promise. I just need to get you another washcloth.” And maybe a helicopter escort to an emergency room because you look half dead, but one thing at a time.

“Please.” That single word was enough to deconstruct all of my logic and objection. I made a mental note to go get her another washcloth as soon as possible. But for the time being, I lied beside her and wrapped my arms around her. She relaxed into my embrace, nuzzling closer to me. Fuuuuuuck why was she so fricken adorable. She was my kryptonite. Her smile incapacitated me. One word from her was enough to deactivate all my defenses and reduce me to a useless puddle of emotion. My brain was a blur and I was trembling almost as much as she was. I pulled her closer to me and gently kissed her forehead, my heart pounding out of my chest.

June 19, 2020

This is so good! It was so cute when Cal was worried about overstepping boundaries with Elle 🥺 keep up the amazing work 💗

June 19, 2020

Wow, this is amazing!

I love that Elie denied cold desperately, and stifled sneezes with pinching her nose!!

"I'm fine"

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