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"I'm fine"


v a n i l l a

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  • 3 weeks later...

(@ickydog2006 I'm glad! ☺️

@Seeker Thank you! ❤️)

Cal’s POV:

When I awoke, Elle was gone.

I looked around, expecting her to appear, but she didn’t. I was about to search for her, but my body felt like it was infused with lead and I instead decided to continue lying on the bed like a corpse. Absolutely everything hurt. I wanted to press a button and fast-forward to the end of this god forsaken cold.

The DayQuil seemed to have worn off. Actually, maybe not. I still felt super out of it, but my symptoms seemed a lot worse now. Maybe the cold itself had just gotten worse? Who knows.

What I did know was that my mouth felt like a damn desert and I needed some water. As I wobbled to my feet, the blood rushed to my head. Thaaaat was not a fun feeling. At all. 

I grabbed hold of the nightstand to steady myself, then made my way toward the door. I’d always found my house to be really small and stuffy. Now, it seemed like a cavernous assembly hall. My destination seemed to be getting further and further away, rather than getting closer. My back was slick with sweat and my vision was starting to get kind of blurry. Damn, that was a particularly shitty sensation. I think it was safe to say that the meds had definitely worn off. 

I poured myself a glass of water. More of it got on the countertop than in the cup itself, but oh well. As I made my way back, I was met with a pissed off blonde. Damnit.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“...Water.”

“No.” She tapped my nose in admonishment like I was a dog or something. 

My face scrunched up as I ducked to the side. “Huh’ISHHhiuu. IHKshhiew! hih..! HEH’Ehkshhuu!” 

“Sorry! My bad. I didn’t realize that would make you sneeze.” She held onto my shoulders to steady me and took the glass from my hands. 

“M’fine. Stop,” I mumbled, trying to wave her off. At that exact moment, the room started spinning wildly. I felt like my head was a globe in a classroom of hyperactive children, aggressively spinning it in circles. I tried to grab onto the wall as my legs gave out, my body crumpling in response. 

If Elle hadn’t caught me, I would have hit the floor. Hard.

“Shit, Cal! This is why I told you to stay in bed!” I’d expected her to be pissed, but her voice was somewhat gentler than usual. She slung one of my arms over her shoulder and half-carried me back to the bed.

I was shivering like crazy. Why the hell was it so cold in here!? I tried to snatch up the blankets, but Elle kept swatting my hand away from them.

“Elleeee, please. I’m cold.”

“I know you feel cold, but you’re burning up. That’s why I left, to get you a cool washcloth.”

A stark, cold sensation was thrust upon me as she placed the damp cloth on my forehead. It stung for a moment, but it soon started to feel nice. 

“Drink this.” I obeyed, clearly in no position to argue with her.

“Did you take it too?” My question was a bit haphazard, but she got what I meant.

“Yeah, I took some earlier.” I didn’t believe her but, once again, I stayed quiet.

Time seemed to leisurely crawl by as I lied there, begging for the sweet release of death. The only thing that made it bearable was the feeling of Elle’s hand gently running through my hair. I felt like a happy, fat cat when she did that. 

Actually, Elle seemed to have stopped petting my head for the time being. Huh.

I closed my eyes for a while, pleading for my pounding headache to show mercy and leave me alone. The universe seemed dead set on torturing me and I was seriously not on board with that plan. I felt like my body was made of dry ice and I was willing to bet some serious money that someone had planted a garden inside my fucking nose. It stung with a really powerful itch, yet for the life of me, I couldn’t get a single sneeze out.

I lied there like that for a while, only opening my eyes again when I heard the creaking of a door. 

To be honest, I hadn’t really realized Elle was gone until I saw her re-enter the room. God, she looked so pretty. But she also looked sad. Why was she sad?

“Elle?”

She immediately slapped on some bullshit smile, as if after all this time I couldn’t see through that shit. I mean, for crying out loud, her eyes were fuckin’ red. She was obviously upset about something. I hated when she hid shit like that from me.

“How’re you doing?” she inquired.

“What’s wrong?” I implored immediately.

Her expression softened a bit. “I’ll tell you later. It doesn’t matter right now.” Normally, I would have respected her boundaries and appreciated that she was trying to put my needs above her own and blah blabbity blah. Actually? No. That doesn’t sound like me. And it’s definitely not what I did.

“I’ll hold my breath until you tell me.”

That response granted me an angry glare from Elle.

“No. No dumbassery until you can stand up without passing out,” she decreed.

“Veto!”

“You don’t get to veto!”

“Tyrant.”

“Okay, fine, whatever. I’m a tyrant.”

“Julius the Seizer.”

“Are you… Do you mean Julius Caesar?”

Did I? Huh. “He… He seized land, right?” I shrugged, unable to give a better response.  

“I mean, I guess? But that’s not… It’s not like ‘Alexander the Great!’ The dude’s name was Julius Caesar, it wasn’t a title.”

“Like the salad?”

She cracked a smile. I win! 

“Yes, hon. Like the salad.” She patted my head. It was probably meant to be mildly patronizing, but I found it oddly comforting.

“Honestly, considering you’re loopy as fuck, I’m impressed that you made a historical reference at all. Good job, bucko.” She kept calling me ‘bucko.’ And ‘hon.’ That was new. And weird. 

Apparently my mind was better at absorbing school shit when it was chock full of fever juice. Wait a second. School shit. Of course! That’s what Elle was freaking out about! She’d already gone home early and missed two full days. Or… maybe more? My concept of time was kind of fuzzy at the moment. Regardless, no way was I gonna let her miss any more school on my behalf.

“W-Wait.” I tried to get up but she eased me back down. It was annoying that it required so little effort from her, while I was giving it my all. Being sick sucks.

Please lay down, Cal.”

“No… No, wait… You shouldn’t be here. Your parents–”

“It’s fine.”

No. Your grades are gonna suffer, and–”

“Like that matters right now?”

Okay, whoa. I dunno who hit the switch and made it Opposite Day, but… it was Opposite Day. “Since when does that not matter to you?”

“Cal. You took care of me when I was sick as hell, and I got you sick. Now you’re sick as hell. There is no universe in which I don’t take care of you after all that.”

I tried to respond, but just then, the tickle finally spiked. I held up a finger to signal her to wait, my face contorting with the visceral need to sneeze. But it wouldn’t come. DAMN.

I waved my hand in front of my face, as if it was a flame that needed to be fanned until it could take form. A tissue appeared in front of me. I swatted it away.

“Stuh.. stop. I’m fih… HIH’Ihkshuu! Hih’ishkkuu!” In my efforts to refuse Elle’s help, I accidentally ended up sneezing uncovered in her direction. I knew it was my fault, but I felt shitty and moody and somehow that made me feel like it was also Elle’s fault. I groaned, snapping to the side with great effort as I muffled one last sneeze into my arm. “Huh’uhkshhuu.”

I felt her rubbing my back in small circular motions. For whatever reason, even though it felt nice, it pissed me off.

“Elle, stop. I’b okay. You dod’t have to do this.” Ugh. The sneezing had apparently gotten me all stuffed up again. I prayed that Elle wouldn't comment on it.

“I know I don’t have to. But I’m going to.” 

“Did your parents call you? Is that why you were cryi'g?”

She did that evasive scoff thing that made most people feel like they were dumb for asking that question and assume they were way off track. But I wasn’t most people and I knew that meant I was right on the money.

“They did, didd’t they? Why are you still here thed? You should go to school and get caught up, or at least go hobe and calmb your parents down, ‘cause I’ll bet they’re pissed as hell right dow.”

“That’s nothing new. By that logic, I should spend all my time making my parents calm down. And that doesn’t sound very fun.”

“And sitti'g here playing doctor does soud fud?”

“Never mind.”

I fumbled around for a tissue. I eventually found one, but I ended up knocking over a glass of water in the process. Elle sighed, and I could tell she was frustrated that I hadn't just asked for a tissue instead of blindly fumbling around on the nightstand. I pushed that thought out of my mind and tried to clear some of the thick congestion that was trying to drown me from the inside. It took a couple of tissues to do the job. I made a point of tossing them into the trashcan myself. Considering it was right next to the bed, it wasn't too hard.

“You missed,” she replied simply. Damnit.

I frowned as Elle got up. I pretended I didn't know fully well that she was about to properly dispose of the hazardous waste I'd just pathetically tossed onto the carpet. I looked up at her. With my drained, fuzzy vision, it was hard to tell exactly what I was seeing. That being said, Elle seemed sort of tired to me. 

“Have you slept?” I demanded.

She took a fraction of a second too long before answering. “Yes.” Bullshit. Bullshiiiit.

“It’s not bullshit.” Damn. I needed to stop accidentally saying my thoughts out loud. “Look. Cal. I’m not going anywhere. Not when you’re suffering. So you can throw a hissyfit and be mad at me if that makes you feel better. But I’m staying here ‘til you’re better. End of story.”

I paused, letting that statement sink in. “Why? I wouldn’t do the same thing for you.” She flinched. Okay, I guess that was too harsh. “Er, that’s not what I meant. I just… The reason I took care of you was ‘cause your parents are shitheads and no one else was gonna do it. No offense.”

“None taken.” I couldn’t tell if that was genuine or not, but I kept going all the same.

“Also, you were a dumbass and you weren’t taking care of yourself.”

“Okay, some taken...”

“But why are you staying here and missing school, even when I’m willing to tend to my own basic needs and I also have parents who aren’t the spawn of Satan? Especially when you wouldn’t even stay home for your own sake?”

“Well. Your parents are at work right now, so–”

“Yeah, but I’m still able to take care of myself. Like, I know I’m loopy or whatever right now, but I can still down some DayQuil and slap on some Band-Aids and shit. So why are you here?”

She wouldn’t look at me. At first, I thought she was mad at me. But when I looked at her, I could tell her face was kind of red. And she didn’t look mad. She looked… worried. That was weird.

“...Don’t make me answer that.” She said it with a sort of laugh in her throat. Not in a funny joking way, but in that dismissive way she does when she’s embarrassed. 

“Why not? It’s about me. I should get to know.”

“Please drop it, Cal.”

“No. Tell me!” Even I could tell I was getting annoying. 

Karma apparently agreed with that statement, because I suddenly started coughing really hard and my side hurt like hell. 

“You’re just irritable from the fever. You’ll feel better later.” I felt her cool hand on my side, rubbing gel-like thingy on my ribs. Probably aloe vera or arnica or something.

“I’m fine! Stop it.”

“No, you’re not. Your ribs are–”

“God, I KNOW. They’re my ribs, not yours. I’m the one the fucking doctor talked to. I’m the one who prolly can’t compete in Cross Country this year because I was driving your dumb ass home and got in a fucking car crash. I’m the one who’ll have to work my ass off to afford to fix my damn car. And in the meantime, I’ll have to uber ‘cause my parents don’t have time to cart me around, so that’ll eat up all my money anyway and I’ll never fuckin’ pay to fix my car. I’m the one who has to do that. Me. Not you. So please, tell me, why the fuck are you here?”

“Because, I…” The words seemed to get stuck in her throat, like shampoo at the bottom of the bottle. God, this was taking forever.

“Because why? My god, just spit it out!”

“Because I love you, you jackass. That’s why.”

Oh.

A long time passed without either of us saying anything. I realized I had no right to make this comment right now, but… That was probably the angriest I’ve ever heard someone say they love someone else. For what it’s worth. I didn’t really have a point about that. Just… found it worth noting. Instead of voicing that thought, I stayed quiet and let her do her thing. 

After she replaced the bandages and put another cool washcloth on my forehead, she sat down in a chair next to my bed. I knew better by now than to tell her I was fine or that I didn’t need her watching over me – literally. Instead, I mumbled something about her at least doing her homework or something if she was gonna sit there and do nothing. I wasn’t sure what happened after that, ‘cause I started falling asleep.

(TBC...)

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On 9/11/2020 at 3:12 AM, ickydog2006 said:

I am so in love with these two.

Me too!

Really loving this.

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  • 4 weeks later...

(I've been a bit busy, but I'm back now with the next part! :))

 

Elle’s POV: 

After splattering my feelings onto Calix like a naïve moron, I spent the next chunk of hours watching him sleep and making sure he didn’t die. I mean, apparently, my presence didn’t matter to him and I didn’t need to be there. But I obviously did need to. For more reason than one.

He was a lot less annoying when he was asleep. It made it much more bearable to babysit the little twerp when he wasn’t mouthing off or taking an unsuccessful pilgrimage to the kitchen.

It was getting pretty late. I’d accidentally nodded off a few times, but for the most part I’d managed to stay awake. The one time I’d actually dozed off, I woke up to Cal coughing his lungs out. I ended up having to help him get upright so he could catch his breath, then gradually easing him back down once he could breathe like a functioning human being again. After that, I didn’t really feel comfortable taking my eye off him, let alone actually going to sleep.

Eventually, though, I felt my eyelids sagging and I knew I was on borrowed time. I scooted into the bed beside the sleeping lump of Cal and waited until I was absolutely certain that he wasn’t in any imminent danger before I allowed myself to get some rest. 

Of course, as luck would have it, I was only asleep for about twenty minutes or so before my nose woke me up. It started as a weird, dull tingling. I tried to dismiss it by scrunching my nose, and then by sniffling, but everything I did seemed to make it worse. 

“Huh’uhpk’shh.” I flinched. Despite being stifled, that had been much louder than I’d intended, and it was far from finished. I wearily clamped a hand around my nose and tried to hold back. My breath started hitching like crazy, and it soon became clear that holding back was going to be worse than just letting them out quietly. I opted to muffle the sneezes into my cupped hands instead. It wasn’t the most sanitary option, but it was the quietest option, sooo. I guess it was worth it?

“Huh’mnkk’shhu. Hih’ngkk’shiuu!” A small shiver went through me, each stifle causing my whole body to tense with effort. I heard a small moaning sound come from Cal and I had a bad feeling that meant he was starting to wake up. 

I tried to slip out of the bed, realizing that if I stayed there, I was definitely gonna wake him. It was difficult to do that while trying my goddamn hardest not to sneeze. I ended up awkwardly half-choking on a sneeze that sounded more like a strangled hiccup than anything else. Once I’d gotten to the other side of the room, I let myself crumple forward with the rest of the absurdly tickly fit, muffling them into the crook of my elbow.

“Hih’mnkksh, ngkkshhuu! Huh’ksshiuu.” By trying to keep them quiet, the sneezes had ended up coming out kind of high pitched and girly-sounding, much to my annoyance. But if it helped keep the dead boy asleep, I didn’t really mind.

“Bless you,” a quiet voice mumbled from across the room. Goddamnit.

“Shhh. You’re supposed to be asleep. Go back to sleep.”

“‘Ts not my fault ‘m awake,” he argued, his words slurring together as he fully dropped some of his vowels. 

I sighed. Apparently we were still playing the blame game. “Sorry. I tried to be quiet—”

“No, no… s’okay.” He drowsily studied my face for a moment. “Bless you again.”

I looked at him with a bemused expression before suddenly snapping sideways. “Huh’uhkshhuu! Huh… Hhih.. Hih’EHkshhiew!” I narrowed my eyes at him. “How?”

“Your nose was twitching. It does that when you’re about to sneeze.” He shared this information like it was a totally normal observation to make about someone else. 

“I...” I tried to think of a suitable response, but I came to the conclusion that a satisfactory reply simply did not exist. “You’re weird,” was all I ended up shooting back with.

“Cm’ back t’ bed,” he urged, limply patting the empty space beside him. I hesitated. As tired as I was, I had a bad feeling I’d just end up waking him up again. Maybe if I slept in the chair? Then I’d be far enough away if I started sneezing my head off again?

“Bed. Not th’ chair.” Apparently he’d deduced what I was planning. Damn.

I suddenly felt really sick to my stomach. It occurred to me that perhaps I wasn’t worried about waking him up as much as I was about actually being with him. I fidgeted uncomfortably as my brain searched for an escape route. When he was asleep, it hadn’t been as disconcerting. But now that he was awake, I just wanted to be anywhere but here. The living room couch was looking better and better. 

“Please don’t go.” I was confused for a moment until I realized I was halfway through his bedroom door. 

I tensed. If he wasn’t so fucking sick, I would have said fuck it and just gone to crash on the couch. But he looked like hell and he sounded pathetic. Regardless of how fucking embarrassed I felt, I still couldn’t leave him like that.

Much to my chagrin, I went back into the room and entered the bed.

“M’sorry,” he mumbled, his voice somewhat hoarse. I sighed. Now was not the time to talk about this. I poured a capful of Nyquil and passed it to him.

“Here. Take this and go back to sleep. We’ll talk about that another time, ‘kay?”

He reluctantly downed the Nyquil like a shot. If I didn’t have 5,000 different conflicting emotions swarming through me about that boy right now, I might have found that amusing. Now, it just gave me a bit of a stomach ache. 

Cal didn’t try to make me also take Nyquil this time. I couldn’t tell if he was apprehensive after being an ass to me or if he was so tired that he’d genuinely forgotten. Either way, I was happy with it.

I flinched as Cal snuggled against me. It made me feel way too many feelings and I really wasn’t in the mood for any feelings at… God, what time was it? I strained to glance at my phone and check the lock screen. Ugh. 2:41 in the morning. More like 2:41 in the middle of the goddamn night. But yeah. No complicated, potentially unreciprocated feelings at this ridiculous hour, please. 

I was about to ease him off of me, but I stopped. He was shivering. Fuck. Okay, that explained it. I wanted to explain to him that, even though he was cold, body heat really wasn’t the best thing for him right now since he clearly still had a fever. But there was no way I was gonna get through to him in this state, so I surrendered and let the little jerk cuddle with me like the cute, bratty little puppy that he was. 

After getting my heart to stop racing and my mind to stop spinning with thoughts, I finally started drifting off to sleep.

Of course, it only took about thirty seconds for my body to fuck it all up again.

“Hhh.. hih..” I had the idiot’s arms sprawled around my body, so I couldn’t get up to move. Heck, I couldn’t even really reach my nose. 

“Hih… hihh…! Heh! H-Huh’mnGK’shhiew!” Oh fuuuck that hurt. A lot. I’d tried to stifle by literally not opening my mouth, but that made my head start spinning like crazy. Wowza. 

I tried to readjust, but the idiot boy had sleepily snuggled even closer to me somehow. God, I was going to kill him. Assuming this cold didn’t beat me to it. My only option — aside from having my head implode again — was to sneeze uncovered and hope it would be somewhat quiet.

“Hhuh.. Huh’isshhiueh! Hah’ahkshhieew!” I groaned inwardly, knowing I’d probably just inadvertently sprayed him. My nose still felt so damn tickly that I swear, I could feel it throughout my entire freaking body.

“Nyquil.” Damn. I didn’t even have the energy to be frustrated that I’d woken him again, let alone argue with him that I didn’t need medicine. I silently complied.

I made sure to keep one hand free in case my nose decided to torture me again.

“Huh’ushhiu.” I blinked in confusion. I’d heard a sneeze, but I didn’t remember sneezing. Not that time, at least. “Huh’uhmp’shiuu.” A faint, wet spray on the back of my neck answered that question for me. I braced myself for the third sneeze, but it didn’t come. I turned to face him, a bemused expression on my beyond-freaking-exhausted face. 

He had somehow already fallen asleep, yet was still struggling with a sneeze. The laws of Calix continued to amaze me.

His dorky little nose was wiggling. His mouth hung open like a venus fly trap. His breath hitched helplessly, causing his lower lip to quiver ever so slightly. God, his pre-sneeze face was so ridiculous. I reluctantly tapped his nose, since it was obvious that the sneeze was stuck and that no progress would be made until that problem was rectified.

“H-Huh… huuh..! Huh! HUH’UHpkshhuu. UHkshhiew.” I was unable to evade the first sneeze, which awarded me a faceful of powerful, wet spray. However, I managed to block his second sneeze with one of the blankets. Once I was sure he was finished, I tentatively lied back down beside him.

“Heh’ehk’shiuu.” I floated in the irony of that moment as I tried to ignore the newly replenished mist sensation on the back of my neck. Thankfully, that was it for untimely sneezes. At least, for the time being. I stirred pretty frequently for the rest of the night, either from Cal coughing or sneezing his head off or from having a bout of coughing or sneezing myself. Regardless, Cal seemed to make it through the night fine after that initial incident, and that was all that really mattered. My last memory of the night was of me looking at the window and realizing it was wide open — and undoubtedly the cause of our incessant sneezing. And then, before I could do anything about it, my body finally decided that that was the time to suddenly knock out.

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  • 2 months later...

(I ended up making like seven different drafts of this before landing on this version. I know that, if I wait to post it, I'll end up rewriting it again, so here we go. I'm not sure if I wanna write a continuation after this. This might be the last installment of this story. Maybe I'll write another Calix/Elle story in the future if there's any interest in that haha. Please lmk what you guys think or if you want me to keep this particular story going~)

 

Cal’s POV:

I woke up feeling like an absolute fucking asshole. Well, that, and incredibly shitty in general, health-wise. I guess I deserved that, though. 

I couldn’t fully remember all of what had happened before, but I had a vague recollection of me saying I was fine, her insisting that that was bullshit, and then me just getting really mad for some reason. And then, a fuzzy memory of sneezing and Nyquil…? That last one might have been a weird fever dream, though. Either way, I knew I had seriously fucked up.

Elle was still out cold. I wasn’t surprised. She’d spent the entire day — or, two days? I had no concept of time anymore — taking care of my sorry ass. Actually, more aptly put, my bitchy ass. 

My mind couldn’t stop replaying what she’d said. My fever had made my memories of recent events kind of foggy, but that part stood out in my mind, clear as day. Those six words, permanently branded into my skull. I… God, I had no idea what to do with that.

I didn’t want to wake her up. She seemed so small and delicate, though in a different way than before. When we were back at school, she looked fragile in that a single gust of wind could shatter her, and it terrified me. But now, she just looked peaceful. Like all her worries had evaporated from her in a warm puff of smoke, leaving behind only the happy and comforting sensations. I just wanted her to stay that way. I knew, as soon as she woke up, that would all be gone in an instant.

I soon realized I had been staring at her, so I immediately tried to look literally anywhere else. 

After a minute and a half of having a staring contest with the grungy, beige carpet, I decided I needed an actual task to occupy my brain. I opted to take some DayQuil. It’s what Elle would probably want me to do right now, and I supposed I owed that to her. Jeez, I was talking about her like she was dead or something. 

After I downed a shot of DayQuil, I promptly felt my nose act up again. Goddamnit.

I held my finger under my nose, pressing upwards firmly. No way was I gonna sneeze. Nope. 

Huh’ISHHhiuh.” Well. So much for that. At least it was only— “Huh’ISHhhiew!” Only tw— “IHKshhiew!” ...Only three? There was a chance that she hadn’t—

“Bless you.” Shit. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to wake yih.. Hih..! HIH’ISHkkuu.

“Ts’okay. I probably slept more than I should’ve anyway.” She groggily sat up, holding a hand to her head. God, even when she was sick and had just woken up, she still looked so beautiful.

It occurred to me that we would have to deal with the elephant in the room. Personally, I would rather send that elephant off to the local zoo, but…

“D’you want some breakfast?” she inquired, her voice surprisingly chipper.

“U-Um, sure.” Apparently the room’s resident elephant was going to remain undiscussed. 

I tried to get up, but my body seemed to have other plans. Plans that included my ass staying superglued to the bed, for starters. 

“I’ll get you something. Wait there,” she offered with a gentle smile. I couldn’t say with absolute certainty, but I had a pretty strong feeling that her happiness was a front. Before I could respond, she disappeared from the room.

I fidgeted with the fringe of my blanket, absently tugging at the seam to pass the time. Thankfully, she returned before I had a chance to unravel the whole damn thing.

“Here.” I frowned at the bowl of cereal that was placed in my lap.

“This is not breakfast.”

“That is literally exactly what it is.” She was doing that thing where she separates contractions out when she gets annoyed or tries to dumb things down for me. I wasn’t sure if she even realized she did that, but it happened all the time. At first I thought it was incredibly annoying, but now, I found it oddly endearing. But also very annoying, obviously.

“I’m not eating this. I want a donut.”

“You are a CHILD.”

“SO GET ME A DONUT!”

“NO. Cereal. Now. Eat.” She folded her arms, her narrowed eyes staring at me crossly. 

“God. Fine, Mom,” I grumbled, halfheartedly shoving some cereal into my mouth. It tasted way too healthy. I was not a fan.

“How’re you feeling?” I paused at that question, unsure of how to answer. I was pretty sure I was past the point of trying not to worry her. That ship had sailed, sunk, and burned. Still, I didn’t know how honest I ought to be.

“I mean… I’ve been better.”

“Your fever seems lower, so that’s good.” She wasn’t looking right at me as she spoke, and she still sounded kind of stiff. It made me uneasy.

“Yeah, I gue… hehh..! H-Heih..! Heh’IHkshhuu! F-Fuh… Fuck... Huh’EHkshhii! Huh’UHkshhuuw!” 

“Bless you.” She gave me a sympathetic glance, though I could see a hint of amusement in her gaze.

“Shut up.”

“What? I was nice! I said bless you!”

“You’re bocking be. You’re buh.. boh.. b-boking by p-pah.. Heihh..!” 

“Good god, just sneeze.”

“Fuh..Fuck y-yih.. you. I’b truh… HUhh..! tryihh..! HEIIhh..!

She sighed in contempt. I couldn’t imagine how she could possibly be upset with me. It wasn’t my fault I had to sneeze! Or, I guess, that I was unable to sneeze.

“Whuh.. What?” I demanded, trying to hold my ground as much as I could, considering I couldn’t string along more than a syllable or two without devolving into a string of breathy buildups.

“Well, I can’t yell at you if you’re sneezing! That would just make me a jackass!” she insisted crossly, as if he had somehow planned this whole situation. Her expression softened, the attitude melting off of her as she tried to figure out what to do. “Are you… Do you need help?” she inquired gently. 

As much as I hated everything about this situation… I did unfortunately need her help. God, that sentence made me hate absolutely everything. Gah.

“...Yes, p-pluh.. Huahh! P-Please!” I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

“Hmmmm,” she mused softly, tapping her fingers thoughtfully against her chin.

“Wh-Whuh… What?” I demanded, though it was probably impossible for someone to demand something whilst gasping about like a beached whale.

“Well, it just occurred to me that yesterday, you said you didn’t need my help...” Good god. I was going to kill her. Which would be a shame, since I doubted I would fare very well in prison. If my nose made a habit of these humiliating stuck sneezes, the other inmates would have a field day with me. I shuddered at the thought. Still, though. It had to be done. Unless she helped me get rid of these damn sneezes, she would need to die.

“Yeah, y-yih.. yeah.. I’m an ahh.. Hhahhh..! Heaah! A-Ass. J-Just, p-please sh-shut uh… huuhh..! HUH! –u-up and heh.. h-HEhhh..! H-help me snih.. heeihh..! HEEH..! H-HELp m-meh… me… sn-sneeh…! HEEIIHH..!” I blushed, very aware that my hitching breaths were starting to sound like something… else. I could tell I wasn’t the only one thinking it, either.

“Here,” she replied, slapping a couple of tissues into my hand.

“This duh.. doesn’t heh… hehh! –help,” I stammered crossly.

“God, calm down! I’m working on it.”

I was about to make a retort about how she seemed to be taking her sweet time with actually helping when I suddenly felt her finger inch down the bridge of my nose. I shuddered again, though this time from something entirely different. I felt like my body was on fire. My nose had a mind of its own, and it seemed hellbent on punishing me for being an asshole the day before. At least, that’s what it felt like.

Her fingernail ever so gently traced my flaring nostrils, sending a powerful shudder through me. God, even the slightest touch from her fingers made my nose go crazy. Those breathy buildups were sounding more and more like that “something else” the closer I got to releasing the fit. And yet, even with her intervention, it was still just out of reach. I grimaced as I realized what I needed to do next.

“M-More. It.. It’s heh.. helping, but…” I tried to groan in frustration, but it ended up coming out very… different. I couldn’t even imagine how red my face must have been by this point. 

Thankfully, Elle seemed to have gotten the message, despite my shitty attempt at communication. Her pinkie nail inched its way up into my nostril, setting off a flurry of feelings and sensations throughout my nose as well as the rest of my body, sensations I tried desperately to ignore. Of course, it was hard to do that when I was about to devolve into a violent sneezing fit. 

HEIIHKshhiew! HEIh’IHKSHHIEW!” I was so incredibly relieved that I was finally able to sneeze, satisfaction coursing through me with every moaning, grateful sneeze. Unfortunately, this distracted me from the fact that I was pitching forward into Elle with every messy sneeze, coating the poor girl in spray.

It wasn’t until a couple of incredibly wet sneezes later that I realized my mistake. It probably would’ve taken me longer to notice, but unfortunately, those last two sneezes seemed to have been sent directly into her chest, my head bumping into said chest with the final sneeze. If I wasn’t red before, I definitely was now.

“Sh...Shih.. Hihh…! HEIHkshhiew!” I tried to keep myself from doubling over again into her, ahm… chest, but it seemed that the alternative was to sneeze directly into her face. Faaantastic. 

“You HAD A TISSUE, and you sneezed on ME!” she exclaimed, as if I wasn’t already painfully aware of what had happened.

“It was an ah.. ahhh..! Haah! An accideh… HEH’EHKshhuuu!” FUCK.

“USE. THE. TISSUE.”

“I’B TRYING! I— EHKshhiuw!” 

“CAL—”

“I cah… Can’t stoh.. HUahhh!” I had no power over my nose anymore. I felt like someone else had taken over the controls, like I was an NPC in some really fucked up, sadistic video game.

“Huh’EISHhhiew! Hah’AHKshhiew!” I felt a hand over my nose, but it wasn’t mine.

“Nooo. NO,” I declared firmly, viscerally against the current game plan.

“Well, I don’t want you sneezing on my face!”

“How ih.. is sn-sneh.. HEH’KShhiew! –sneezing on your hah.. hand any buh.. betteh…! Heh..! Heeiihh...

“Stop talking, you idiot! That’s what’s making you sneeze so damn much.”

I wanted to shoot something back at her, but I realized with a sinking feeling that she was right. God, I was such a dumbass. I tried to stop talking after that, though I couldn’t stop the desperate, almost erotic sounding moans that poured out of me. I didn’t think I’d ever had to sneeze quite as badly as I did right then. They kept pouring out of me, each in tiny, forceful bursts like different clusters of fireworks during a big Fourth of July display.

As humiliated as I was, it felt so freaking satisfying to let these sneezes out. I didn’t even realize that a quiet moan of pleasure followed each breathy sneeze, incredibly grateful to be expelling this tantalizing tickle. Despite the incredible humiliation of this particular moment, I couldn’t deny the fact that it felt so fucking good.

Eventually, the monstrous fit gave way to exhaustion and heavy breathing, my body collapsed against Elle’s as I tried to catch my breath. As the euphoria of surviving that torturous tickle ebbed, I was left only with a bottomless pit of embarrassment.

I waited for Elle to say something, as I was way too mortified to break the silence. In the meantime, I suddenly remembered that I had a handful of tissues – a realization that would have been quite helpful a few minutes ago. Thankfully, her hand wasn’t near my mouth anymore, so there was nothing obstructing me from quietly blowing my nose.

“Wow. You should not be allowed to sneeze in public.” Whelp. That one was on me. I’d left it to Elle to transition from that moment. I should have expected her to grab some salt and rub it into this fresh, open wound.

“Shut up. For the rest of eternity, please, let us never speak of this again.”

“Okay, okay, but seriously, though.” The humor seemed to leave her eyes as she gazed at me.

“What?” Fuck. Was she upset or something? Was it because I sneezed on her? Fuck, I couldn’t help it.

“We should check the weather report. Because you might have actually created a small tornado.”

Goddamnit. Never mind. She was just a dumbass, dead set on torturing me.

Apparently I was right, because my blanket was suddenly torn off of me, taking with it all my warmth.

“Hey! Give it baaaack. Pleeeeaseee!”

“No! No blankets. You need to kick this fever in the throat, not feed it and ask it to move in with you.”

“But it’s COLD!”

“It’s actually not.”

“Huh’ishhiuew!”

“Bless you. Again.”

“S-See? You’re muh.. Huh..! HUH! M-Making me snih… Heh..! HEIhkshhiew! –sneeze.”

“Oh, bullshi—”

EHKshhiew.”

She sighed. “You’re not sneezing because you’re cold. You’re sneezing because you’re hot.”

“Wow, thanks.” I flipped my hair dramatically, pretending to stare off into the distance seductively.

“Shut up.”

“No, really! I’m very flattered, I really am, but I see you as more of a frieeeend?” I teased, dragging out the last word for emphasis.

Something shifted in her expression.

NO, no, I didn’t mean like that. Like, I meant, as a joke. We always make jokes like this. I didn’t mean like...”

“It’s fine.”

Fuck. “Elle, please. I didn’t mean it.”

“Cal, don’t worry. You’re good.” Her face looked way too neutral and I fucking knew she was self-destructing inside and there was nothing I could freaking do about it.

“Elle...”

“I mean, I already kinda figured that anyway. Especially after yesterday, so—”

“Hey. Hey.” I reached over to keep her from getting up and wandering off. My ribs still hurt and I couldn’t go chasing after her. “Elle, look at me.”

She reluctantly turned back to face me, and I could tell that she was fighting back tears. I felt something in me break.

“Awwwh, Elle! Hey, come here.” I just wanted to hold her in my arms and fix it. But she looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here.

“I… Fuck, this is hard.” I felt like my entire understanding of the English language had evaporated in that moment. I knew how I felt, but I didn’t know how to articulate it. I wished I could just plug a little tube into my brain and connect it to hers so she could see all the squishy, gooey feelings I was feeling for herself. But that was both impossible and rather gross-sounding.

I stared at her wordlessly, my mouth hanging open like a goldfish. God, she knew me. She knew be better than anyone. This shouldn’t be so damn hard. I felt myself leaning closer to her, but I didn’t remember deciding to do that. Suddenly, I found myself inches away from her, my body doing what my brain was too much of a coward to do. Before I knew it, my lips had pressed against hers. I shut my brain off, ignoring all the code reds and system errors and big fat stop signs. I was scared as all hell that I was messing everything up, but there was also a slight chance that I wasn’t, and I couldn’t watch her walk away, after looking at me like that, without even trying… 

“C-Cal…” She pulled back and my heart fucking stopped. Her eyes were fixed on the floor, her breath uneven. “I… Are you sure?”

“No, Elle. I kiss random people that I’m not attracted to as a side hobby.” She punched my shoulder lightly. Valid response.

“Shut up! You know what I mean! Is this… Are you serious about this? Is this… Do you…?” 

I sighed, laughing softly despite myself. She was trying to seem like she was calm and in control, but it was blatantly obvious that she was flustered as all hell.

“What! Why are you laughing at me?”

“You’re adorable. Now shut up and kiss me.” Right as I said that, her lips pressed firmly into mine. It caught me off guard and also knocked me a tad off balance, but it was worth it. My hands moved with a mind of their own, one of them cupping her cheek and the other curling around her back, pulling her closer. 

After a moment, she pulled away again.

“Whoa there, Romeo. Take it easy.”

Now it was my turn to get embarrassed. 

“S-Sorry, I..” Fuck. I’d fucked this up. I didn’t know how, but I knew I’d fucked it up. Damnit.

“No, no, you’re fine!” she insisted, her eyes looking earnestly into mine. Fuuuuck, one look from her was enough to just melt me into a puddle. It was a wonder that I ever won any arguments with her. “I just… don’t want you to overexert yourself. You need to take it easy.”

Okay. She might have a point there. As much as I wanted to just hold her close to me and forget that everything else existed, I also really didn’t want to end up feeling even worse. If that was even possible.

“Okay. Faih… heih…! –f-fair.” 

She gave me a skeptical glance, to which I responded by dramatically rolling my eyes.

“I’m fine. I’m not gonna sneeze.” She didn’t seem to fully believe me, but she slowly leaned back in. I felt her lips meld with mine and, for a moment, it made all the shitty, sick, feverish feelings fade away. 

That moment was very short lived.

A couple of mere seconds after I made that bold declaration, my nose started tickling like crazy. Again. Apparently, the sneeze gods wanted me to die sad and alone. I pushed it out of my head. Mind over matter. 

I’d waited years. YEARS. For this moment. And now, I couldn’t even enjoy it because my body hated me.

I felt her lean deeper into the kiss, and I couldn’t stop myself from doing the same. I tried to suppress a series of breathy gasps, praying that they would just go away on their own.

They didn’t.

“HHhnnh.. Hhihh..!” Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Bad idea. Back it the fuck up. Despite being mid-kiss, I pulled away as fast as I could, turning away from her as the inevitable took place.

“Huh’EIHKshhiew! HEIKshhiew!

I turned back sheepishly, wearing my best apologetic smile. “...Sorry. I did have to sneih… HAIKshhiew!” Damn. That one caught me off guard. I barely had time to cover it and I might have accidentally sprayed her a bit. Gee. That was attractive. God, I was such a mess.

She stared back at me with a firm resolve. “Bed. Now.”

“But I just woke up!”

Bed.” Her tone implied that there was no room for negotiation.

I reluctantly lied back down, my head pressing into the cool pillow.

“I love youuu,” I called out, purposefully being obnoxious and eeever so slightly teasing her about our prior conversation.

“Shut up. Sleep. You can love me when you wake up.”

I smiled stupidly to myself as my awareness started fading away. Knowing us, this could all go to hell in a handbasket by tomorrow. Probably earlier than that, actually. But I didn’t care. I didn’t want to think about ruining it, because right now, it wasn’t ruined. And maybe it could stay that way. 

On that note, I went back to sleep after my very long twenty minute day.

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Great ending! The whole thing was very well written, and I really do love these two (and definitely wouldn't be opposed to reading more about them :) ) 

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  • 1 year later...

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