Telling your S/O about the fetish?

[Always]

Hi everyone! Apologizes if this thread already exists somewhere in the depths of this forum, it's been a few years since I've really been active on here, and I'm just trying to get back into contributing regularly now. (If it does exist, mods, feel free to just delete this all together if need be! And sorry in advance if it causes any inconveniences!) But anyway! To the topic at hand. 

I know there are a good portion of people on here who actively share their fetish with their S/Os, as well as another good bunch of people who absolutely don't. 

I personally, have never told my husband about my fetish, although he knows I have a fetish, of some sort. It's actually kind of comical watching him guess. "Feet! No? Hmm..." 

I guess my point of this thread was to see other people's opinions on the idea of sharing your fetish with your S/O. How many of you have, why, how many of you haven't, why not, etc. 

I've been debating back and forth just telling him, but part of me likes having this private thing all to myself. And honestly, he happens to be quite a sneezy man in general, so getting to admire his fits without him waggling his eyebrows at me or something is almost a blessing. 

Anyway! What are everyone's thoughts?

[haymaker]

I didn't tell my SO, she found out when I left some printed material lying about (retrospective lesson learnt, NEVER print stuff out) Her reaction was a confused look and a shake of the head.  

That was about 15 years ago and we have never discussed it. She now sneezes in a much more self conscious and controlled fashion, which is a real pity, cos her sneezes were completely fab!! 

It hasn't really affected our day to day relationship in any major way, but overall its a net loss and I regret my carelessness. 

 

Edited December 20, 2017 by haymaker

[taléya*]

Hello Always  

First welcome back  

I will tell you my thoughts but excuse me for my english it is not my first language, I hope you don't mind.

Okay, you thought about telling your partner about your fetish or not.

Maybe you got through those feelings of 'maybe I should tell him right now it is just about sneezing' and one second later you are feeling kind of insecure and despondent?

For pro: maybe it will help you to 'get rid of the feeling you are hiding something', if you ever felt like that?

You are sharing something very personal with him.

It will help you to think about your husbands reaction, nobody knows him better than you

For him it could be a huge sign of confidence?

Or he could ask you why you never told him before, why you did not trust him?

 

For contra: as you mentioned a part of you wants to keep this private thing to yourself only, and I can definitely understand it.

It is difficult to estimate his reaction.

And if you think about - as you told us he is a sneezy person - he is waggling his eyebrows or joking about it maybe will you make feel precarious?

Perhaps it will help you to make a decision when you try to think back if your husband ever shared a 'secret' with you?

Did he ever entrusted something to you which he generally keeps in private?

Anyway if you tell him, he will knows it forever and you cannot take it back, you understand?

 

Once I talked to a woman who had the fetish and she was married to her husband over 30 years and had never told him.

She decided to write him a letter cause for her it was difficult to explain it with right words.

I would propose for you the same.

If you decide to tell him maybe it is easy to write him a letter.

You can take your time and write down all your thoughts and why did you hesitate to tell him.

You are not 'faced' with a lot of questions or something like that.

 

In my opinion, I wouldn't tell my boyfriend about it, but there is one occasion.

Because I shared a little time of my life with a man and he hurted me again and again and for me it is very difficult to trust someone.

 

Dear Always, it is up to you and only your decision.

If you are sure and you feel a strong faith in him you can tell him.

If you don't want to tell him, don't feel too bad, because it's not a fault to keep some things private.

Maybe you want to think about the facility to send him a letter?

I hope it helped you a bit.

If you ever want to talk just message me and I wish you all the best, taléya**

 

[Alabaster]

I just recently told my boyfriend and it's amazing! He reacted really well and he is actively curious about it so he'll ask me questions about it and I'll get to talk about it. It's really fun to have this little secret between us. If he sneezes in public, he'll just wink at me and smile.

I think it all depends on the dynamic of your relationship and how comfortable you are talking about your fetish. It is really great for me because I can be comfortable about it with him. 

[PuddinPop]

6 minutes ago, Alabaster said:

I think it all depends on the dynamic of your relationship and how comfortable you are talking about your fetish.

Basically this. 

I told my current SO when we'd only been dating a couple of weeks. The reasons were mainly because in the relationship I had before I met him (which lasted 4 years) I never told that partner, and it was awfully annoying to have to try and be sneaky when logging into the forum, deleting all my history, making sure I had no incriminating files saved, making up stories about the people I met on the forum and how I know them, etc..

I didn't want to have to go through all that again, sneaking around and hiding things. I wanted a totally open relationship. I wanted to tell him about all the amazing people I met and talk to from here. I wanted to be able to log into the forum without having to hide it. I wanted to feel like I had no secrets from him. 

It was actually a pretty fun discussion xD. I got him to guess what it was. Of course, he said the usual; feet, bondage, etc. I told him it was something everyone did, which he said 'pooping', 'farting' or 'burping'. He didn't get it, so I had to tell him

It was the best decision I ever made. He's been totally cool about it. He's curious, for sure. He said he doesn't understand it and probably never will, but he does try. He's even been indulgent in the past >w> he also made an account here, though he barely logs in at all. 

He loves to tease me about it too. He'll text me sometimes when he's sneezed, and also said if we ever get a dog together, he's going to call it 'Sneezy', just because he wants to laugh at me whenever I try (and fail) to say its name

But we have a really great dynamic. We're very comfortable together and share everything. He's been amazing about it, and I do honestly think telling him was the best decision I ever made. It's such a huge relief to not have to hide any of this from him. 

Only you know your relationship though. If you don't think your SO will accept it, maybe it's for the best not to tell them. But if you think they will, I say absolutely go for it. It really is such a wonderful thing if they take it well

[sneezewuv]

I agree entirely with what PuddinPop said.

I told my boyfriend quite early on in our relationship. Personally, I felt the fetish was too big of a part of my life to not tell him. Our relationship wouldn’t be as fun honestly, and maybe not even as secure as it is. There aren’t any secrets to hide. 

But of course, to reiterate what others have said, it’s up to you to determine how comfortable you are telling this to your SO.  It’s quite a great time though.

[Always]

I completely resonate with what you've all been saying!  My husband and I are very comfortable and trust each other with everything. I know he'd react perfectly fine, (One of the reasons he wants to find out so bad is so he can potentially indulge in it for me) and I'm not worried about sharing with him, though I appreciate all of the sweet advice! I guess I worded my jumbled thoughts a little strangely. What I mainly meant to ask was why all of you did/did not share with you S/O and the reason behind your decision. I guess I kind of like keeping it private myself because of how shy I am. I'm ridiculously empathetic and embarrass really easily lol. I just don't think I'd be able to handle him knowing without blushing my face off every single day.  Maybe that will change in a few years, I'll keep you all posted 

That all being said though, it's uplifting to read about all of your S/Os and their positive reactions! Very happy for all of you that have experienced that!  and to haymaker- that would just mortify me! Whenever I sign into the forum I'm always nervous he'll somehow catch me on here, hahaha. Not that I think he'd have a bad reaction, I just don't think I'm ready to share it with him yet. 

[HornedSerpent]

I have.  It took me many years to get the courage to do it (because I was worried he would be offended and once he knew I couldn't take it back) but I'm SO so glad I did.  I mean... he knew I liked what I like but not to the extent I guess, even though I thought I was pretty obvious about it.  But once I admitted it to him, it was really amazing.  He was initially confused and asked lots of questions that I was really embarrassed but happy to answer.  And now he knows my tastes perfectly, and uses it to get me going which is SO amazing.  Seriously, it's totally worth it imo. (Unless part of it for you is the secrecy of nobody knowing)

[Sneesee]

So, I can't say I have ever had a negative reaction telling someone about the fetish. Although when I first admitted it to my ex-husband, after I finally figured out that I wasn't alone in my enjoyment of sneezing, it did create a. It of a mental block for him for awhile. Eventually he got over it, but he never really indulged me with it either.

 

Now, my current man of interest has known for several years already. I don't remember exactly how it came up in conversation, but it was definitely a more private conversation at work one night during our break. Then for the rest of that week he would tease me about it. He used to fake sneezes (some of which were pretty damn good). And once he told me if we were together, he would have to keep a thing of pepper by his bed. He he he And now that we are kind of together, he is wonderful about announcing them. And even if we are in a situation where he can't or doesn't feel comfortable announcing he is about to sneeze, he will nudge me with his arm so I can witness it when he sneezes. And to me, that is awesome. I honestly don't know if I want him to induce for me, because I love it being natural from him. So I probably wouldn't insist on him keeping pepper by his bed. Maybe. 😈 

So it is kind of fun when they know about it. But then I also see how fun it still is when they don't know, and you can enjoy it privately and there is no real fuss about it. I have always been glad I shared it though, because it is a part of who I am, and I don't like to have to hide things like that from people I am close to.

[haymaker]

Personally, I have never had the wish to share my fascination for sneezing with someone who does not fully understand what it is, because I could never feel comfortable with the fact that they can never totally get 'it'.

My desire sneeze wise, is (or was), to be able to enjoy my SO's sneezes without her ever realising it. That way, those gorgeous sneezes would remain unfettered by any self consciousness, other than that which the sneeze itself would naturally induce. 

As we know, there are a number of subtle actions, both before and after the main event, that together complete the experience: the pre-sneeze facial expressions; the unfurling of the tissue; the 'I'm going to sneeze' or similar comments.

There's a certain inevitability that these are going to be compromised or become contrived, once the proverbial cat is out.

 

 

 

[Stargirl]

Hi all, my husband actually knows about the fetish. I told him quite early on in our relationship but sometimes now I wish I hadn’t. He isn’t really into it and it and even though he has the kinds of sneezes I like (forceful, loud and wet) they just don’t do it for me anymore because I know that he doesn’t share my excitement for them. It would probably be better if he didn’t know. That said, it does make it easier with being open about watching you tube videos instead of regular porn though 😂

[FlowerCrown]

So here’s a story that will probably amuse some of you. I told my ex about it on the phone a month or two after we started dating and he did the whole guessing thing while I laughed because I figure it’s pretty hard to guess well apparently he was a smart cookie because he guessed and I immediately hung up the phone because but I was all embarrassed but I never confirmed it I said we lost connection and I went to bed slightly horrified eventually I confirmed it and told him and he told me he had a huge sneeze fit as soon as I hung up...Oh the irony XD he was pretty great about it and even induced with chhinkni for me! 

[Red Irish Lass]

On 12/20/2017 at 6:55 PM, Alabaster said:

I just recently told my boyfriend and it's amazing! He reacted really well and he is actively curious about it so he'll ask me questions about it and I'll get to talk about it. It's really fun to have this little secret between us. If he sneezes in public, he'll just wink at me and smile.

I think it all depends on the dynamic of your relationship and how comfortable you are talking about your fetish. It is really great for me because I can be comfortable about it with him. 

I had the same experience when I told my bf. He's been amazing with it and it's brought our relationship to a new level. I honestly never thought I'd tell anybody, but I'm so happy I did with him. It's something that's just for us and I love the fact that whenever he sneezes now, he thinks of me

[Alabaster]

13 hours ago, Red Irish Lass said:

I had the same experience when I told my bf. He's been amazing with it and it's brought our relationship to a new level. I honestly never thought I'd tell anybody, but I'm so happy I did with him. It's something that's just for us and I love the fact that whenever he sneezes now, he thinks of me

That's amazing!! Mine says things like that too. 

[VeganSneezeFetishist]

I told my wife about it and I couldn't be happier I did! She has been amazing about it. She lets me induce her all the time and she will also send me snapchats of her sneezing. She also says she can feel herself getting into the fetish too which is incredibly hot