Female "Chivalry Isn't Dead, You Know" - Secret Santa for Kiaory (giant)

[starpollen]

I have to admit, I don't know Kiaory at all.  And when I read the request, I wasn't quite sure if I was going to be able to pull it off... it's not my usual style of writing... but I also must admit I had a lot of fun doing it!    So thank you, @Kiaory and PuddinPop, for this opportunity to branch out and stretch my creative wings in a new way!   And, of course, I hope you like it.  

 

"Chivalry Isn’t Dead, You Know"

“There aren’t any left.”

“None?” Prince Roland asked, giving another scrubbing polish to his shield.  “Gavin, come on. No dragons at all?”

“Not anymore,” the old blademaster hefted an ancient axe, thumbing the chipped blade.  “‘Think your grandfather got the last of them back in ‘72.”

“Damn,” the younger man set his shield down, frowning into its mirror shine.  “What about a sphinx or griffin?”

“Nope.”

“Troll?”

“Extinct.”

“Hydra?”

“You can’t swim, remember?”

“Oh, right.”  Prince Roland ran his fingers through his thick golden hair with a heavy sigh.  “Princess Gwendolyn won’t accept me as a suitor until I ‘prove myself’ to her.  How am I supposed to do that when there’s nothing left to go out and destroy in her name?”

Gavin set the axe down and turned to his young lord.  “Princess Gwendolyn… is that the one with the big…” His calloused hands came up to hover just in front of his chest.

“That’s the one!” Prince Roland’s perfect teeth spread in a wide grin.  “AND her kingdom is 200 hectares by 7 leagues.  It runs along part of our southern border.  Richest salt mine on the continent.  She’s beautiful, built, AND a billionaire!...”

“I see.” The older man picked up a file and went back to the axe.

“The only problem is,” the prince continued, leaning back onto his elbows and letting his head fall back to gaze at the ceiling.  “She’s all about big, brawny guys.  She practically swoons every time Sir Balan flexes those tree-trunk biceps of his.”

“Yes, I’d say you have more of a swimmer’s build,” Gavin rumbled, running the file in long, rasping strokes.

“Exactly!” Prince Roland snapped forward, resting lean arms on his knees.  “So unless I hit some kind of growth spurt, she’s never going to give me the time of day.  UNLESS…”

“Unless you ‘prove yourself’ by killing something dangerous.”

Prince Roland nodded, his sky-blue eyes wide and earnest. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“Well…” Gavin looked up from the axe, using the file to scratch at his grizzled cheek.  “What about a giant?”

“Pff,” The younger man scoffed, standing in one smooth motion and reaching for the shield.  “The giants in our kingdom are pansies.  They braid necklaces and worship trees and things like that.”

“Well, does Princess Gwendolyn know that?”

Prince Roland turned, spinning his shield between his hands. “Huh?”

“Does Princess Gwendolyn know that the giants in our kingdom are tree-hugging hippies more likely to sing ‘Kumbaya’ at you than snap your bones in half?”

“Probably nohh…” The blond’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, then his face broke into a wide smile.  “Gavin, you’re a genius!”

The old blademaster chuckled, sitting down on his stool and laying the axe across his knees to get a better angle.  “That’s why I get paid the big bucks.”

 

--- --- ---

 

“Here, giant-giant-giant…”

Prince Roland was creeping along the face of the cliff, having climbed up to the highest mountain in the land where the local tribe of giants made their home.  Long ago this mountain range was full of active volcanoes, but now they were huge, hollowed out structures - perfect for giant habitation.

Truth be told, Prince Roland had never laid eyes on a giant.  Gavin hadn’t either.  And while most people of even slightly above-average intelligence would have sought out someone who had seen a giant, or at least knew something about them… our prince wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.  He was more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kind of guy.  The young nobleman simply packed up his gear onto his horse and set out for the mountains, thinking he’d find a giant, kill it, and be home in a couple of days to woo his lady with its decaying carcass.

That was a week ago.

His horse had come up lame 3 days into the trip, so Roland had continued on foot: his sword strapped to his side, a crossbow in his hand, and a pack with food on his back. The higher he climbed, the colder it got.  And the windier.  Thoughts of Princess Gwendolyn's, hmm, assets were what kept him going.

“Come on,” he huffed, clinging to the rock face and trying his best not to look down.  “There’s got to be a giant around here somewhere…”

Finally he found a cave, the entrance to the mountain tunnels.  Stepping inside, he set down his crossbow and fumbled to light his torch, shielding it from the wind with his body.  Once the flames were jumping happily on the pitch-soaked end, he walked further in and looked up.

The cavern was massive, surely big enough to once have housed a dragon.  When there were dragons.

“Yoo hoo!...” he called, unbuckling his sword and setting it and his pack down within easy reach.  His own voice echoed back at him as he picked up the crossbow and braced it against his ribs.  The wind howled outside, sounding like a dragon scraping its claws across the stone.

Suddenly, a massive shape moved in the darkness.

Prince Roland stumbled back, tripping over some unseen formation at his feet, falling backward and instinctively pulling the trigger on his crossbow.  The torch guttered out.

Thankfully, just as suddenly, the cavern was ablaze with light.  A lantern as tall as a house was hanging overhead, lit with strange blue fire.  And standing under it, looming over Roland where he lay sprawled and gaping, was a towering giant.

Both creatures stared at each other, mouths hanging open, breath coming short.

“B-but you…” Prince Roland stuttered, blinking furiously in the strange light.  “Y-you’re a woman!”

Indeed, the giant standing before him was female, clad in a warrior’s leather armor.  Though she stood taller than four houses - indeed, probably more than half the size of a dragon, if there were any - she was stunningly beautiful.  Dark hair and eyes that gleamed in the lamplight, with creamy skin and the figure of a goddess.  

More beautiful even than Princess Gwendolyn.

“F-figured thahh… Hh!... that out did y-yoohhh… did you, geniuhhs?...”

The beautiful face was twitching and contorting, her massive breasts bouncing with each ragged, hitching breath.

“Are… are you all right?” Prince Roland couldn’t help but ask as he blatantly stared up at the stunning creature.

“Suhh… s-somethhhii… something’s in mmm… my n-n…” Breath hitching madly, her long lashes fluttering, the woman raised her hand and lightly brushed at her massive nostrils with long fingers.  

“Sorry?” Prince Roland’s handsome face scrunched with confusion.

“Something’s gohht up my… HAH!... up in my nose!...”  Tilting her beautiful head back, huge nostrils stretched wide as they flared with irritation.  Prince Roland’s eye caught a glimpse of a small feathered object quivering inside the cavernous depths.

Glancing down, Prince Roland’s mouth dropped open even wider as he beheld his crossbow.  His empty crossbow.

“Um, I think…” he began, scrambling to his feet and leaving the crossbow on the ground.  “I think I know what it is…” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head with one hand.

“Whh… heh-heh!... what?...”

“I think it’s the bolt from my crossbow.”

Those gorgeous dark eyes squinted down at him, beginning to shine with irritated tears.  “Guhh… god it tihh--HH!! … tickles like mad!...”  Her elegant finger touched the side of one nostril, immediately recoiling with a deep gasp.  “Ow!  And it stings!”

Roland shifted his weight to the other foot.  In truth, he hadn’t imagined that this could be the result of his quest.  To find and slay a giant - even a tree-hugging hippie one - was more of a theory than actuality.  And even stranger, to find that the first giant he happened upon was female, and not resembling a hippie in even the slightest respect.  Indeed, she was more Xena, Warrior Princess.  Not that Roland had any idea who that was.

“Maybe you can sneeze it out,” he babbled, his slightly slower-than-average brain still reeling from the circumstances in which he found himself.

The lady slowly knelt on the ground and settled back to sit, elegant fingers tentatively touching her twitching nose.  “Snuhh… sneeeehhze?...” Her lovely voice hitched and trembled, making Prince Roland’s blood run quicker.  

“Yes,” Roland nodded, barely daring to blink as he beheld the hitching, quivering beauty seated before him.  Her rose petal lips quivered, her bountiful breasts bouncing with each shuddering breath.  “You know, ‘achoo?’”

“N-nohhh…” the giantess shook her head.  “I d-don’t HUHH!... kn-know..”

The prince’s brow furrowed once more in confusion.  “Giants don’t sneeze?”

The giantess shook her head, dark eyes blinking furiously as her nostrils pulsed with need.  One glistening tear slipped down her snowy cheek.  “As m-much as we hh… we look like you, our biohhhlogy is slightly d-different…”  One finger gingerly explored the nostril where the quarrel was lodged.  “Ow!… I huh-HUH!  I can’t get at it… Ohgod, it-t--... itches sohh bahhd...”

“Oh,” Prince Roland scowled, rubbing his chin. “Well… there’s nothing else for it, then.”  He began unbuttoning and shrugging out of his jerkin, stripping to his undershirt. “I’m going to have to help you get it out.”

“Whh--HAH! HAH!-- what??...” the giantess suddenly looked panicked, bringing her knees up and exposing part of her very shapely rear-end beneath the leather strips of her skirt.

“Do not fear, madam,” Prince Roland bowed with a flourish.  “Prince Roland, at your service.  May I enquire the name of the beautiful creature whom I am about to assist in her hour of need?”

“I w-wouhhldn’t HAH!... be in this s-stahh… iihhHiHH!!... s-state if you h-hahhh… hadn’t…”

“Yes,” Prince Roland frowned, dimly realizing that his intention upon coming to these mountains was to slay just such a creature as this woman and drag her decaying carcass back to lay at the feet of his beloved.  But, the more he watched her hitch and huff helplessly, he found himself both fascinated and strangely aroused.  And chivalry was carved into his very bones.  Being the cause of a lady’s distress - even a giant one - without lending his aide was unthinkable.  “I am very sorry, madam.  The fault is mine, and so must the remedy be.  May I know your name before approaching to assist?”

“L--Lydia…” she blinked her large, dark eyes, glimmering with irritated tears, lashes fluttering as her nostrils continued to writhe and twitch.  Small glimmers of moisture were beginning to shine on the rims of her pulsing nares. “Princess Lyihhh… Lydia of the Fire Mountains.”

“A princess!” Roland gasped, unable to believe his ears.  “I didn’t know giants had royalty.”

“Well,” she laughed low in her throat around more hitching breaths.  “It’s ohh… obvious that you dd--d-... don’tknow HIH!-IH-!!... much about giants ahhh… at all, sir.”

Prince Roland smiled, slowly approaching the trembling creature.  He noted the brilliance of her complexion, the suppleness of her limbs, the tantalizing curve of her rose-petal lips as they quivered with her stuttering breaths.

Placing one hand on her warm, firm thigh, he paused only a moment to ask, “May I climb upon your person to lend my assistance?”

Still looking wary but also desperate for relief, Princess Lydia nodded.

Roland was glad of his lithe ‘swimmer’s build’ as he slowly scaled her massive, curvaceous form.  Her skin was softer than satin, firm with youth.  By the time he reached her abdomen, he could use her long, dark hair - lustrous and thick - to continue on the way up.

As he reached her shoulder, he saw that up-close she had a scattering of freckles across her desperately twitching nose, making her even more beautiful.

“You are the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld,” he murmured into the graceful curve of her ear, pleased when she turned her head to look at him as he stood on her shoulder.

“Th-thank you…” Surprise colored her cheeks a pale pink.  “Y-you are h-handsome, yourself, sir…” she breathed back, smiling slightly through her discomfort.

“Well,” Prince Roland’s shoulders straightened, his chin jutting out determinedly.  “Let us relieve you, madam.  Hold very still while I retrieve the offending quarrel.”

The beautiful giantess tilted her elegant head back, exposing her irritated, quivering cavernous nostrils to him.  The openings were half as tall as he, writhing beneath his hand as he steadied himself on the pinkened rims.  The crossbow bolt was deep inside, the end of the shaft barely visible between the middle and superior turbinates.  Indeed, it was nearly all the way to the choana.

Little did our hero and heroine know, but that crossbow quarrel was tickling maddeningly at the nerve endings lining our beautiful princess’ nose, sending signals to the ‘sneeze center’ in her lower brain stem. Giants don’t have hair in their noses, so the inside of her nostrils were slick with moisture that her nose was generating trying to flush out the irritant. Giants actually can sneeze, but rarely need to as their biology has other mechanisms to expel irritants.  

As Prince Roland climbed half his body into her right nostril, his hair tickled the inferior turbinate, causing Princess Lydia’s eyes to squeeze shut, her voluptuous chest to heave, her throat muscles contracting powerfully as her body prepared itself for the rare event of a sneeze.

“Hold it back, my lovely!” Roland called from the depths, his voice reverberating on her ethmoid bone and causing the urge to mount to near-impossible proportions. “I’ve almost got it!”

“H-hurry!...” she gasped, barely daring to breathe for fear of exploding.  Princess Lydia longed desperately to have this mysterious ‘sneeze,’ to satisfy the torturous tickle and burn that both the bolt and man were causing.  But she clenched her fists, held her breath, grit her teeth, and tried to hold back until her attacker-turned-rescuer could retrieve the source of her misery.

Prince Roland gripped the slick shaft of the bolt, feeling more and more moisture well up from inside the suffering giantess’ tormented tissues. Grasping the slippery wood with both hands, he gave a hard jerk.  

It didn’t budge.

Planting one foot on the vestibule of her nostril, Prince Roland took a deep breath and readied himself to pull again.

“S-something’s h-hHH!-happening!...” Princess Lydia’s voice was light and airy, thickened by the urge. “I’m guhh… gonna… gohhnnaaAA…”

“Almost… got it!...” Prince Roland dug in with his thigh and gave a mighty pull.  With a wet PLOP, the quarrel came free.  Both it and Roland tumbled out of the giantess’ nose and into her heaving bosom.

Just in time.

“... ahhHH!!... heeeIIISSHHEEWW!!”  

Her body quaked with the massive sneeze, spray raining down in drops as big as Prince Roland’s head.  The wet release splashed around him, soaking every inch of his hardening body. A sneeze so big that it jiggled her large breasts, causing one of Roland’s legs to slip down into her cleavage and become trapped.

Breasts heaved once more, straining against the leather confines of her corset and squeezing Roland between their pillowy peaks.

From his vantage point, Roland looked up and saw that Lydia’s nostrils were still in full flare, streams of wetness trailing down from each dark cavern onto her quivering upper lip. This is part of the biology of giants: they stream mucous from their noses in waterfalls, usually flushing out any irritant.  That is, unless something like a crossbow bolt should become lodged in their turbinates.

“Heeeee-- EEEIIIISSSHHHHEEEW!!” Lydia sneezed again, a mightily throat-scraping sneeze that was at the same time high-pitched and feminine.  The blast blew Roland’s hair back, more moisture saturating him and coating her creamy bosom.  

A final time her beautiful, dark head reared back, one finger hovering under the pinkened, pulsing, glistening nostrils as they attempted one last violent protest against the treatment they had received - literally - at his hands.

“HAH-HAHAHHAaaaAAASSSHHHIIIIEEEEWWW!!!....”

The lady’s slender body curved, shaking as violently as a tree in a hurricane as this last sneeze barrelled out of her, generating a fierce wind along with its spraying blast.  

After, Prince Roland wiped his hand across his face, wicking away enough moisture to blink up at the beautiful face hovering above him.  The look of rapturous relief that spread across her features was beautiful to behold: her eyes slipped closed, luscious lips curved in a soft smile, a long sigh escaping through them.  

The rest of her face was a running mess: eyes streaming tears, fluid leaking from both nostrils and hanging in stringy strands from her chin to drip onto her ample chest.  

Roland had never been more turned on in his life.

“So,” Lydia breathed, batting her beautiful eyes at Roland as he lay squeezed between her breasts.  “That was a sneeze?”

“Three of them, madam,” Roland smiled like a dope, tossing his soaked hair away from his eyes.  “And, may I say, for not having done so before you performed each one magnificently.”  Attempting to wiggle into a more comfortable position was proving fruitless, so the prince settled for leaning his head on one hand and gazing up at her adoringly.  “How do you feel?”

“They were…” the giantess closed her eyes, sucking a slurpy sniffle and licking some of the streaming moisture from her lips.  “... delicious!”  Dark, luminous eyes opened to regard him again, one brow raising in an attractive quirking arch.  “Can… can you do it again?”

Roland’s perfect teeth stretched into his captivatingly handsome ‘prince’s smile.,’ one hand holding up the sodden quarrel.  “As my lady wishes.”

The massive nostrils lowered to him, and he once again plunged into the dark depths, the left one this time, all thoughts of Princess Gwendolyn forgotten as he teased and tickled the giantess’ cavernous nostrils from vestibule to sphenoid sinus.  Not that either of them knew what any of those things were.

“Eehh! eeeeEEEEEEIISSSHHEWW!!!”  

“Bless you.”

“They’re getting bigger,” the giant princess laughed, the sound like chimes in the air. “It feels so good!  I never thought that anything could feel as good as this!...”

“Then, by all means, let us continue!" The besotted and besoaked prince was beaming like a fool, reveling in the feel of her breasts as they heaved and jiggled, the power he felt over this stunning, towering creature. "You are so beautiful when you sneeze...”

And Princess Gwendolyn and the quest was quite forgotten.  Prince Roland and Princess Lydia, instead, indulged each other for hours, each equally happy to be of service. 

Because, after all, chivalry isn’t dead, you know.

 

Edited December 23, 2017 by starpollen

[Usagi]

I like this more then I should. It's so weirdly romantic. I'd totally be up for a second installment with these two characters. Your style for writing this is great as well! 

[Kiaory]

I love it! 😃😃😃

You really took what where really a bunch of random ideas I threw at you and turned them into your own unique thing. I wasn’t expecting anything like this.

I’ll also second the interest in a sequel if you should ever feel so inclined.

[Jack]

Amazing story. And yes... I would also like to see more

[Heven]

Yaaayy!!! Your writing is absolutely on another level!

[NickG1998]

Please continue this amazing story and keep up the good work 

[SneezeloveronGirls]

I agree that this should be continued.