Original "Gadgets and Ratchets" (M)(Part 1/?)(Secret Santa for lunarcat42)

[I love Alan Rickman]

Merry late Christmas, @lunarcat42! I am your Secret Santa! Fun fact: this is also my very first time participating in Secret Santa on this forum, so congratulations for being my first receiver! Also, congratulations since I can never write one-part stories since I adore writing so much, so you get to read more. I hope you enjoy the first part of this original story and the future ones. I looked over your list quite a few times while writing this, so I hope I didn't mess it up. 

I'm sorry, I didn't really know how to write any of the fandoms you listed (though you said a lot, but I'm bad with fandoms since I'm so specific on which ones I enjoy and can write well ), but I hope you enjoy this in the original story category (rhyme unintentional). 

 

Gadgets and Ratchets

A Secret Santa gift for lunarcat42

 

Part 1

—

"Put that down, Jack!" James's low voice snapped at one of his henchmen (who was examining a few of the evil weapons). Jack looked back at James, who had stopped pacing around the lair in thought to glare at Jack.

"Sorry, boss," he stated, setting down a steel sword. He glanced back at James, whose black hair was neatly slicked back, though his nose had a slight red tinge to it.

"And fix your tie," James demanded, his piercing black eyes narrowed in annoyance. Jack obeyed, and James buttoned a stray button on his suit before looking around at everyone else. "As you may not know, we are due to take over the world today." He stated casually before pausing to itch his nose slightly. A slight tickle had been existent in his sinuses throughout the day, though it had just now decided to become more threatening. However, he refused to let it interfere with his speech. "Now, of course, this is the usual, but I tell you, we mustn't make a mistake this time. I have prepared some gadgets for you that someone almost destroyed moments ago." He gestured toward Jack and coughed, though unintentionally. He cleared his throat. "As usual, that imbecile doesn't know what he's doing." A few henchmen chuckled and looked at Jack, who was wringing his hands in nervousness. James continued to speak about the plan for a short period of time.

When James finished his short speech and the rest of the henchmen had scattered, most of them going toward the "gadgets," Jack approached his boss and looked up into his eyes. "Excuse me, sir. Are you quite alright?" He queried nervously.

"What are you talking about?" James asked impatiently, rubbing his large, slim nose once more. He sniffled through his thin nostrils. His pesky nose was starting to be more irritating, and it had quickly begun to run. 

"That," Jack replied, pointing to James's nose. "Your nose is red, and you're sniffling. Are you ill?"

"No, I'm—" James paused. The tickle in the back of his nose swiftly crawled down from the top of his thin nose to the bottom. Again, though, he refused to let it interrupt his speech. "I'm p-huh-perfectly f-fine. Heh, eh—" Quickly, James turned to his right side and pinched his nose tightly with his index finger and thumb, "hehKXTchh!"

"Bless you, sir," Jack stated hesitantly. James had told him and the rest of the henchmen before about not showing weakness. 

As James glanced back, he felt his cheeks turn slightly red. He'd never sneezed in front of one of his henchmen before, and therefore he felt humiliated. It didn't help that he generally didn't like sneezing in front of anyone since he felt it was something which showed weakness, and he wasn't weak! However, the feeling lingered in his sinuses, and his nose twitched violently. Though he tried with all his might to fight the sensation, he closed his eyes once again. "Heh, eh, heh, hehKXTschh! Heh, heAKTSCHOO!" Despite his attempts, James could not suppress the third sneeze, which turned out loud and masculine, ringing in the lair.

"Bless you," a few other henchmen called out across the lair, looking over in James's direction.

James hesitantly looked back up and saw Jack holding out a solid black handkerchief. Scowling, James accepted it, turned, and blew his nose as softly as he could—enough to get relief, but not too much that it was very noticeable. He turned back and glared at Jack with a cold stare.

"You're welcome," Jack choked out before dashing away.

"I'm not thankful!" James called and wiped his nose with the hanky. He wouldn't admit it (almost not even to himself), but he actually was slightly thankful. But only slightly! Key word! However, he couldn't contemplate this, because he had work to do. Plus, another one of his henchmen had already begun to swagger over.

"Hallo, boss," the man with a thick German accent stated, holding a cigarette between his index finger and thumb. He put it in his mouth and held out his hand to shake James's. This was this man's usual greeting. James slowly shook his hand. "Sie need help? Or sind Sie fine?"

"Hans, what makes you think I'd need help?" James asked with annoyance.

"Sie sneezed. Getting sick, boss?" Hans replied and puffed his cigarette. He was wearing the same black suits as the rest of the henchmen. "I will tell Sie it seems so."

"That was Jack," James responded and crossed his arms. "The plebeian is going around trying to make us all ill." His nose twitched subtly.

"But ihre nose. It..." Hans paused in thought as if trying to think of the word as he held his cigarette to his mouth. He stood there for a moment before he shrugged and continued. "It zuckte."

"What does that mean?" James asked with confusion.

"Entschuldigung. Cannot think of the word," Hans explained apologetically with a shrug as James's nose twitched once more, though more obviously. 

James turned swiftly to the side, tightly clutching the handkerchief to his nose as his breath hitched furiously. "Heh, eh, heh, heAKSSHOO!" He sneezed loudly.

"Gesundheit," Hans stated kindly and puffed his cigarette once more. He continued calmly. "I told Sie. Sie sind krank."

Cutting himself off from a cough to try to prove his point, James responded in a hoarse tone, "No, Hans. I'm not sick. Ich bin nicht krank! Alles klar?"

"I know the word, 'alright,'" Hans pointed out. James rolled his eyes. "I have Zigaretten." Hans reached into his box of cigarettes and held one out for James. "Do Sie want one?"

"No," James said quickly.

"Nein? Alles klar. Sie sind verpassen." He puffed his cigarette once more.

"Speak English!" James snapped. "Heh, eh, heh, hehGSSchh!" He sneezed into the handkerchief once more, trying to make it sound less violent than it was.

"Gesundheit," Hans repeated. "I said, 'No? Alright. Sie sind missing.' Bis bald. Do not get me sick. Danke. Get gesund soon."

Hans departed, leaving James standing by himself in confusion. He truly wished he had studied more German, and he also wished he wasn't getting sick. No, what was he thinking? It was just a few sneezes and a cough. Or maybe it was just allergies he wasn't aware of. Either way, it was no problem. James never gets sick! Therefore, he strolled over to the right side of the lair and sat down at his desk to relax  and take a nap while the henchmen were preoccupied.

[lunarcat42]

Dawww! Thank you so much for the lovely present! It was aforable, and especially love Jame’s little black hanky, i love hankercheifs! Its so cute and I cant wait to read more! I love how he’s a classy villain in denial, its so sweeet! 

I hope you had fun writing this! And i also wish you a wonderful new years! (Hopefully its not too cold where you are  )