Allergy Flowers for Hours

[LifeOfTheMarauders]

A bell rung, signaling the opening of the front door, and the approach of a customer.

“Welcome to Flowers for Hours, how can I help you?” I greeted in what I considered to be a warm tone. 

The woman who had entered seemed fine when she first walked in, but after standing around for a moment, her nose grew red and her breath began hitching, almost as if she had miraculously caught a cold.

As made her way to the front desk, the hitching of breath became deeper and more apparent, and her breasts seemed to heave with each draw of air. 

It seems that I knew what was going to happen before she did, so as she got right up to the desk and took one last hitch of air, I quickly ducked down as to not be hit with the spray.

“ahhhhh...ATSHIEW! hehhhh...Hehhhhhh....HETCHOO!”

She made no attempt to cover her spewing mouth, nor her twitchy nostrils, so, if I had been in the upright position, I would have received a face full of bodily fluids.

“Oh...excuse me,” she said lazily, as if she really didn’t care whether she was excused or not, “Must have been the chrysanthemums that set me off, though. You really shouldn’t have those in the front of your store.”

I stood for a moment, dumbfounded that this woman could find fault in me for her uncovered sneezes, but, needing whatever money she came to spend, answered politely anyway.

“Of course...I’ll make sure to move them, ma’am,” I said, choosing to ignore the ‘Yes, you will.’ that she felt the need to add afterwards. “How can I help you?”

“Well, I’m getting married in a few weeks and nuhhhh...need to order the floral arrangements. The ohhhh...only problem is that some flow-flow-hehhhh....flowers make me....hehhhhh...HETSHOO! Bless me. There are some flowers that make me sneeze.”

This time, I had not been ready for the sneeze that the woman issues and received a mist of saliva and mucus spread across my face.

“Yes I can quite see that. But, if you would be so kind as to please cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze, the effort would be much appreciated,” I said irritatedly, wiping the liquids from my face with a tissue from the box underneath the counter.

Ignoring my comment, the woman proceeded on as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, “Of course, the only problem is that I don’t know which flowers make me sneeze! Chrysanthemums for one, and peonies for another, but beyond them, I’m really not sure. I was hoping that I could come in and stuff flowers as a kind of sneeze test.”

“Oh joy,” I grumbled under my breath, but quickly lightened my time to speak to her. “Yes, I suppose that could be arranged. We could begin now...how does that sound?”

“Fine,” she answered dismissively, “Go on and fetch the first bouquet, then.”

Gritting my teeth, I obeyed, attempting to choose the flowers that I knew had a low pollen count as to avoid anymore explosive sneezes, “Hydrangeas are always a good bet when it comes to allergies, why don’t you take a sniff?”

I handed the bouquet over to the woman who held the flowers right up to her nose and took a big sniff. She seemed to enjoy the smell before her face went funny.

“Ohhh,” she moaned slightly, “I’ve...hehhhh...hahhhhhhh...I’ve got a-a nose tickle...I’ve got a....ahhhh...hahhhhh...HAHHHH...HATCHIEW!! My nose is-ahhhhh....hehhhh....ETCHOO!! Tihhh....tickling...ohhhhh-HESHOO!! HURTSHOO!! Oh!”

Unluckily for me, instead of heeding my advice and covering her sneezes, the woman had aimed her sprays directly into the bouquet of flowers. Many of the petals had blown right off with the force of the sneezes, rendering the flowers unsellable and covered in bodily fluids.

“Oh, bless me, those hydrangeas gave me a big nose tickle. Are you sure that the pollen count is low on them? Well, there was still enough pollen to make me sneeze, so it can’t have been low enough.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t take such a big sniff when they’re right under your nose next time,” I suggested. “After all, how close to these flowers are you really going to be?”

She looked almost offended by my question and proceeded to tell me that she was using these flowers in her bridal bouquet. “I can’t very well sneeze my way down the aisle!” she concluded with a wild hand gesture.

After calming her down, I grabbed another bouquet of flowers, this time white daffodils, and offered to hold them for her, “In case I need to pull them away if you get too sneezy.”

She conceded, taking a large sniff (though I warned her not to) of the beautiful flowers, and instantly getting that face-twisting expression again, “They-hahhhh-they’re nice...the-hahhhhhh-the daffodils. I think that the....the....hehhhhh...the pollen might mahhhh....make...hehhhhh....make me....snehhhh-snehhhh....HURTSHOO! ETCHUH! HEHSHUH! ATCHOO! Ohhh...might make me sneeze.”

Both the daffodils and I had made it safely out of the range of the sneezes, so neither of us were the victim in the equation. I scurried I’ve to my desk and grabbed the tissue box from behind it, carrying it over to the woman who greedily grabbed three and began blowing her nose.

“Ma’am, I think it might be better to just have fake flowers at your wedding. I’m not sure I’ll be able to find a bouquet that doesn’t make you sneeze.”

“No!” she screeched, her eyes scanning the shop frantically to apparently searching for a flower that wouldn’t make her sneeze all by herself. She picked up a bouquet of baby’s breath and began waving it around, “What about these? They’re small! They can’t possibly hold much pollen!”

“No, those will definitely make you-!” But my warning fell on deaf ears, because the woman had already taken a large sniff of the baby’s breath and was paying the price for it.

“Ahhhhh....Hahhhh...HAHHHHH....HATSHIEW!!! ISHOOO!!! Ahhhhhhh....AHHHHH...ITSHIEW!!! Ohhh....I feel ahhhhh....another one...AHHHHHHH-!”

But the woman stopped mid-hitch, her hands fanning the underside of her nose, “I can’t...AHHHHHH...I can’t seem to-tuhhhhh-to snehhhh....sneeze! Hehhhh-help me!”

Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed a handful of tissues, yanked the baby’s breath out of her hand, and slowly caressed one itchy, trembling nostril with it. Then, I held the numerous tissues right under her flaring red nose, ready for the explosion.

And so the explosion came, “AHHHHH....HAHHHHHHHH....HAHHHHHHHH....HEHHHHHHHH....HEEHHTSHHIEWWW!!!!”

The sneeze reigned down with such force that it entirely demolished the wad of tissues, sending shreds of white paper flying into the air and raining down on us like snow.

She looked astounded for a moment before regaining her composure. “Perhaps I will get fake flowers after...after...HATSHOO! *sniff* after all.”

And with that, she tired on her heel and marched out of Flowers for Hours.

Edited December 31, 2017 by MarauderFanGirl4Ever

[Ben Drowned]

@MarauderFanGirl4Ever this is awesome really cool and it's very cute I feel bad for the worker though but still I love how loud and explosive you made her sneezes loud and explosive are my favorite 

[SneezeloveronGirls]

I love this. The only thing that I had a problem with was the small font. Otherwise everything was perfect.